Into the Hands of Fate

Chapter Fourteen

The rest of the year went by smoothly and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Lily and James became a couple and were never seen apart, except when the Marauders were together doing pranks and such.

Before they knew it, they were seated in one of the compartments on the train. James looked out the window with a content smile, then back at his friend around him. "Only two years left," he said softly. Lily squeezed his hand and gave him the sweet smile that she reserved only for him.

Sirius grinned. "We'll be out in the real world. I fear for myself in such a big place."

Hallie rolled her eyes heavenwards and said, "Personally, I fear for the world with people like you walking around in it." He swatted at her playfully and laughed.

Remus smiled, sharing a look with Peter who was covering his mouth because of the risk that laughter might escape. "Are you guys dating?"

They stopped trying to hit each other to stare at him. "What?" they wondered simultaneously. Lily and James laughed. "What gave you that idea?"

The other four shrugged. Hallie frowned slightly but then said, "You all have to come to my house this summer, my dad's living with me."

Sirius' eyes widened. "We can come to your mansion?"

She laughed. "Well, maybe not you..."

~*~

"I'll get it!" Hallie yelled, running down the steps. Requillo smiled and watched as she rushed to the door. Out of breath, she opened it and was face with Sirius. She smiled. "Hi." He raised a brow but his face broke out in a grin. She opened the door wider and stepped back so he could, in turn, step in. The girl waited, but he didn't move. His mouth, however, was wide and gaping, as were his eyes.

Requillo stood up with a chuckle and stood behind Hallie, his hand on her shoulder. "Hello, Sirius."

The boy blinked for a few short moments before looking at the older man. He noticed that Requillo's face had lost its lines of sorrow, with the exception of but a few at the hard times in which he had to pass, but had gained the lights of happiness. "Er - hello."

Hallie rolled her eyes. "Sirius, if you don't come in right now, I'm going to slam the door in your face," she said putting her hand on her hips.

He grinned and swept a very gallant bow. "Of course, madam," he said in a rich accent.

And then suddenly, he was on the floor. Hallie and Requillo laughed. "Hi, Peter," greeted Hallie with laughter in her voice.

Peter had come via broom and because he was not an exceptionally good flyer at all...well...he flew straight into Sirius. "My, I'm very glad that the door wasn't closed," Requillo commented.

Sirius looked up with an ironic grin. "That's something that I would have said!"

Hallie covered her face in her hands. "Dad, do not say another word if you're going to sound like him, one Sirius is enough."

Peter stood up, finally, and brushed his robes to straighten them out. "Sorry for my rude entrance," he said with a crooked grin, "I guess I need practice with brooms."

Hallie put a hand on his shoulder, "Just do what I do, Peter, don't even touch them."

He raised a brow. "How kind of you to suggest it, Hal." She laughed and shook her head.

Then there was something like an explosion of light from the living room behind them. They all looked to the fireplace where James was helping Lily up from the floor. When they noticed that the rest were looking at them, they smiled sheepishly. "Floo powder," explained James. They all nodded in understanding.

And there was Remus who stood at the doorway behind Sirius and Peter. "Uh - hello," he said in a puzzled sort of way. The two boys before him turned around grinned at him.

"Hey, Remus."

They all followed Hallie and Requillo around the house on the tour for they would be staying there until school started which was only two weeks away.

James' and Sirius' and Lily's mouths all dropped to ground level when they saw reached their last destination. Hallie laughed and said, "And this is our quidditch field."

Requillo motioned to a little closet on the side. "There are the brooms, the snitch, the quaffle, and the bludgers," he added. The other three practically raced to it and when they looked inside, they all gasped at once.

"How-how-," started James.

"But-but-," said Lily.

Sirius just gaped.

Remus laughed at them.

"Mom was a singer, remember? She got some money from performing," said Hallie quietly. They all looked at her.

"You're rich!" said Peter. She just rolled her eyes.

The rest of the two weeks went by quickly.

~*~

As the years went by, things remained mostly the same. Voldemort, however, was on his rise and causing havoc everywhere he went. Everyone thought that it was the end of the world...but the upcoming years would be the worst out of them all.

They were now in their seventh year and they were nearing graduation.

James sat with Sirius and Peter in the common room. They saw the portrait hole open and Trisha Sansbury stride in with her queenly air. Her curly blonde hair fell beautifully down her shoulders and her hazel eyes were lively yet cold as she gazed around. She then spotted the three boys before the fire.

"Hello," she said with a smile. They just looked at her. "Where's Remus?"

James smiled crookedly and a bit coldly. "You were always one to get straight down to the point," he said.

She sighed. "Yes, yes, now where is he?"

"Me?" asked a voice from the steps. With a smile, Trisha turned and rushed over to where Remus stood. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a long kiss. He didn't move. When she was finished. He looked at her. "What're you doing here?"

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "What, is it a crime to say goodnight to my boyfriend now?"

Remus sighed inwardly and touched her cheek softly. "Sorry, I'm just tired," he said. She blinked at him, unmoved. The corners of his mouth twitched into a slow smile. His handsome face was changed into a bright ray of light and Trisha felt her knees weaken. "Am I forgiven?"

She put her arms about his neck and he held her close. "Of course you are," she whispered into his ear. She kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, Remus," she said quietly, then made her exit.

He watched after her for a short while before turning around to walk back to his dormitory. "Remus," said Sirius with a slight frown, "wait."

The boy did as was told and looked at his three friends expectantly. "Oh, that's right," he said in a somewhat choked voice. He strolled to the portrait hole. "Will I see you guys later?"

Sirius opened his mouth to say something with a deep frown on his face, but James said, "Of course you will."

"Same time?" asked Remus. James nodded and the boy took his leave.

Sirius scowled. "What'd you do that for?"

Peter gave him a look. "What were you going to say?"

The other boy opened his mouth to say what he was going to say and then shut it tightly, his lips forming a straight and white line. His face was strained. James placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know," he whispered.

"I just don't understand!" said Sirius in aggravation.

Peter looked away, his eyes troubled. James said, "I don't either, but when he wants to tell us, he will."

Sirius abruptly stood and made a noise of impatience. "It's been almost a year! How much longer does he bloody need?" he yelled.

James grabbed his shirt and forced him to sit down. "Don't talk so loud, do you want everyone to hear?" Sirius pulled away and crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned back in his seat. "You have to be patient. This is Remus we're talking about here, he never does anything without a reason."

"What the hell could the reason be? Have you seen that girl?" said Sirius in a fiercely strained voice. "She's - she's Trisha."

Peter chuckled hollowly. "Perfectly described, 'she's Trisha.'"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "If he's our friend, then I don't get why he's keeping any secrets." He stood and walked away to the boys' dormitory.

James and Peter watched after him. James with an expression of worry, and Peter with a troubled one.

~*~

"Should we wake Sirius?" whispered Peter. James looked to the boy's bed.

"You don't have to wake me," said a muffled voice. "I'm already awake." Sirius withdrew his curtains and sat up. He changed into his robes and walked out of the room. James noticed his eyes were stormy with anger. He looked at Peter who smiled crookedly. "I'm not going to talk to him tonight, I know what'd happen if I did," he said. James shook his head and followed his best friend who had earlier taken his leave. Peter did likewise and followed James.

Sirius reached the Whomping Willow and glared at it as the vicious tree tried to hit him. He waited until James and Peter caught up with him. Peter changed into a rat and touched the knot on the tree. James and Sirius followed the mouse into the tunnel and transformed after they opened the door leading to Remus, who was a werewolf. After a short rumble of introduction, they escaped from the Shrieking Shack to Hogsmead.

Sirius lagged behind, watching friends. It was going to be a long night of hard thinking for him.

~*~

The next morning, Remus forced himself out of bed and looked dizzily around. Madam Pomfrey rushed in and smiled. "Good, you're up early today." Her face sobered a bit. "Are you all right, dear?" she asked softly.

He smiled and nodded. The door to the hospital wing suddenly slammed open. Trisha ran to him. "They told me you were sick! What're you doing here? Are you okay? What happened?" Remus didn't answer her, but lied back down on the pillows that propped him up. "Remus!" she shrieked, shaking him. "Wake up! Wake up!"

Madam Pomfrey hurried over and stopped the girl from doing anymore harm. "Stop it this instant, Miss Sansbury, you're going to hurt him."

"Me?" she screamed in incredulity. "Me hurt him? Look at him, woman! He's dead! He's dead! My god..." Her voice ended in a whisper.

Remus' head spinned wildly and his vision became blurry. Finally, it focused and he looked at Trisha's horribly concerned and worried face. I love you, Lydia, he thought before he fell into a peaceful darkness.

~*~

James sat on the armchair before the fire and felt the radiant heat beat on his skin. His pale blue eyes reflected the dancing flames and his hair was as messy as ever. The seventeen-year-old boy's handsome face was solemn.

Lily looked at him for a moment before walking over. "Are you all right?" she whispered softly. He slowly looked at her and forced a smile. She smiled back. He opened his arms to her and she sat next to him, enveloped in his comforting embrace. James rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes. "Why are you up so early?"

He sighed deeply. "I couldn't sleep," he whispered back.

She squirmed so that she could face him and he looked up. "James, you're troubled about something."

A genuine smile brightened his face. "How do you always know?"

She hugged him tightly and kissed his lips gently. "Tell me what's wrong," she said.

He turned his gaze from her to the fire that blazed brilliantly with flashing colors. "What do you think of Trisha?" he wondered. A frown appeared on Lily's face and he grinned. "I don't like her," James confirmed.

She rolled her eyes. "I wasn't thinking about that," she told him. "You should know me by now." He tickled her sides making her laugh and slap him. His mouth dropped and she grinned. "You deserved it. Anyway, back to your question...what do I think of Trisha? I think she's a rotten and mean girl. Not to be mean or anything, but it's the truth. She's in Ravenclaw, isn't she?" James took her hands in his. Lily squeezed his hands and tilted her head sideways to look into his eyes. "James, what's the matter?"

He dropped his hands into his lap. "Why is Remus going out with her? He doesn't even seem to like her!" He shook his head and heaved a great sigh. "I'm just worried about him. He seems so different than how he used to be."

Lily looked at him and then to the fire. "He's been through a lot," she said quietly.

This statement made James look at her sharply. "Like what?"

She still didn't look at him. "Lydia," was all she said.

James too, looked away. "That was two years ago, Lily," he said softly.

Now she looked at him. "James, do you love me?"

Startled, he quickly looked at her. On impulse, he said, "Of course I love you."

"How would you be if I died two years ago?" she asked him. He looked at her for a long moment in silence. The he looked away. She nodded. "You just have to see it in his perspective."

He sighed and said. "But Trisha?" She grinned at him. James shook his head and put his head on his shoulder.

Before he knew it, he was asleep.

~*~

He let his fingers get tangled in her hair and moved closer to her. She put her arms around his neck and leaned against him. This was nice, he thought, and wondered why he had hated her so much before. Perhaps, he didn't really hate her at all - but instead just tried to hide his feelings. Suddenly, the door opened. Sirius and Hallie immediately parted.

Peter laughed. "Finally! Does that mean you both are going out?"

Sirius gave him a look. "No, Peter, we're just kissing because we feel like it," he said sardonically.

Hallie hit his shoulder and he grinned at her. "Don't mind him, he's a stupid git," she told Peter.

"And you seem to like that stupid git," he responded.

"Urgh!" exclaimed Hallie, throwing her hands into the air. "Fine then, gang up on me!"

She stood up but Sirius caught her hand and pulled her next to him again. "Don't leave, we were having a good time. And I'll even admit I'm a stupid git." Her eyebrows rose. "But a very adorable one." She laughed and aimed a smack at him, but he caught her hand and kissed her fingertips. "Just kidding you, Hal," he said sweetly.

"Er - I'll leave you now," said Peter, practically running out. Hallie and Sirius looked at each other and laughed.

~*~

That night, Remus sauntered back into the dormitory, his head down. There, James and Lily were gathered around Sirius and Hallie who were engaged in a Wizard's Chess match.

"Beat that," said Sirius with a triumphant grin. He leaned back and put his arms behind his head. Hallie raised a brow and looked at the board with a quizzical expression.

Remus walked over and immediately moved her queen. "Checkmate."

Sirius nearly fell off his chair and stared at the pieces in consternation. Hallie laughed. "Thanks, Remus!" He shrugged and took a seat on the couch.

Sirius glared at him. "That was cheating! Remus, you're supposed to be my friend." Remus just shrugged again. The other boy's expression changed. "You okay?" he asked. They all looked at him.

He forced a shaky grin. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Peter gave him a look. "Did something happen between you and Trisha? She was in a rage this morning in Astronomy," he said.

Remus just shrugged. James looked at Lily and she gave him a meaningful look. "Remus," he said, "you can tell us anything, you know that right?"

At this, the boy looked up at his friends. All had worried and concerned faces. Inwardly he smiled, even though he tried to smile outwardly as well, he was just too exhausted. "Thanks guys," he said softly. "I'm really tired, I'm going to go to the dormitories." With that, he stood up and walked away.

His friends watched him go by without saying a word.

~*~

What am I doing? Remus asked himself for about the millionth time that year.

He pictured Trisha's pretty, but cold face.

Suddenly, it was changing, though, ever so slightly. The square and frigid features became round and sweet. Her hair became slightly wavy and not as cared for, but beautiful all the same. The eyes, the eyes were what Remus noticed the most. With his own closed, in his mind he saw her looking down at him with a smile that melted his heart and made tears slip from the sides of his eyes.

What am I doing?

And then Trisha's face was back. He fought to remember the previous face and when he did, he bit down on his lip so that a trickle of blood could be tasted.

Oh my god...he thought with a sob choking him. Remus turned over on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Why am I still seeing you? Why won't you go away?

His heart wrenched in his chest and he tried to make the pain leave, but somewhere deep inside him, he knew it wouldn't ever go away.

"I love you," he whispered as he saw the transformed face of Trisha. "That's why you'll never leave me. A smile came to his lips. "And it took me so long to figure that out..."

He quickly stood and looked out the window. A star caught his eye and it shined brightly down on him. I love you, Lydia.

~*~

*SLAP*

Remus held his cheek and looked at Trisha. "Sorry," he said.

It bothered her that he didn't seem sad at all while inside, she was being torn apart. "Sorry? That's all you have to say to me? You didn't even love me this whole time! You've been leading me on! Now all you have to say is sorry?" she shrieked.

He shrugged. "You just reminded me of a girl I used to know," he said softly...and wistfully, looking out a window. It was still dark outside and the star shined down more brightly than he had ever seen it. He looked back at his now ex-girlfriend.

"Who," said Trisha with her hands on her hips. He just shook his head, still looking out the window. She turned his head so that he faced her. "It's that dead girl, isn't it?"

Remus' eyes flared with anger. The flame was so brilliant that Trisha took a step back. "Don't you dare talk about her like that," he said in a deathly calm voice.

She looked at him humorously. Fury radiating out of her hazel eyes. "Why? I can talk about her however I want. She's dead, isn't she? Who even knew her? She was a nobody."

Remus knew she was trying to hurt him for hurting her, but still... "You shut your mouth!" His fists were clenched into tight balls and his nails dug into the skin of his palms. The boy was grinding his teeth as to hold back an outburst that was threatening to escape him.

Lily and James came walking down the hall, their hands entwined. James looked up when Remus yelled and saw the other boy's tenseness. He and Lily ran down to Remus and Trisha. "Remus-," he started.

The other boy pointed at Trisha. "I never want to see you again. I have no idea what I saw in you, you're nothing like her." And then he walked away, his shoulders strained with anger.

Lily looked from Remus to Trisha and back again. "I don't know what you did, but you're not getting away with it." The other girl sniffed indignantly at her and with a last glare, marched away.

James and Lily followed Remus into the common room. Remus broke down. Uncontrollable sobs racked his body and he fought to control himself, but couldn't. He ran a hand through his hair and glared into the fire when at last, his cries slowed ever so slightly. James and Lily both took seats beside him on the couch.

"She looked like Lydia, that's was all. I was just trying to make the pain go away," he whispered. He then buried his head in his hands. Lily hugged him around the shoulders. "I tried to pretend," he swallowed, "I tried to pretend that it was Lydia I was with all the time...not Trisha." He spat out the word Trish with venom as if it were trash. Remus looked up at his two friends. "Why won't the pain just go away? I know she'll be with me wherever I go, but why won't the pain leave?"

James put a hand on his shoulder. "It'll always stay. You loved her that much that the pain at the loss of her is...well...overwhelming. It won't go away, Remus, and it's because she's with you. It's a remembrance of her."

Remus smiled softly and turned his gaze away from the fire. "Then I guess I just didn't see it the way it really was." Lily looked at him in question. "It's not really pain I'm feeling then, is it? - if it's Lydia I'm feeling inside me..." She hugged him and he wiped away his tears. "And I was trying to take the pain away? By dating Trisha Sansbury?" James and Lily laughed. "Dear god...what was I thinking?"

~*~

It was a few weeks later when Hallie and Sirius stood before one another. "Sirius, why won't you talk to me?" asked Hallie in exasperation. He just shook his head and turned away. "Sirius..." but he cut her off.

"It's nothing, just leave me alone." Then he ran up to his dormitory. She bit down on her lip as she watched after him.

In aggravation, she took a seat on the couch next to Lily and James who had watched. "What was that about?" asked Lily.

Hallie just ran a hand through her hair. "Why don't you tell me?"

James stood up. "Do you want me to find out?" he wondered.

Hallie, too, stood. "Oh, would you?" He nodded. She smiled in thanks. "I owe you one."

James went to the dormitory and peeked in. There, Sirius was looking out the window, his eyes unusually bright and his coal black hair messed up as if it hadn't been fixed in days. His clothes hung off his shoulders for he had lost weight. "Sirius?" he asked quietly.

The other boy looked at him, then looked quickly away. "I don't want to talk now, James," he whispered in an unsteady voice.

James looked at him for a moment, then walked out. In the common room, Hallie jumped up when he came down, but he dejectedly shook his head. She sighed and took her seat next to Lily once again. "He won't talk, he won't eat, he won't do anything but walk around like a bloody zombie! Don't tell me there's nothing wrong with that boy," said Hallie, looking at Lily who had opened her mouth to speak.

The other girl laughed hollowly. "I wasn't going to say 'there's nothing wrong with him'. I was going to say 'he'll talk sooner or later, he can't keep it in forever'."

Hallie blinked at her for a moment before saying, "Oh." There was a short silence. "Well, I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight guys." They said their farewells and went their separate ways.

~*~

Hallie sat up and saw the moonlight creeping in through the panes of the window. Quietly, she crept to sit at the windowsill and saw that two perfectly shaped clouds bordered the creamy white orb that hung in the sky. A smile came to her face as she gazed at the scene. It looked as if taken from a painted picture and emitted such a sense of tranquility that her heart softened and her worries seemed to slip away.

She felt as if she needed to think things over and so slipped out of the dormitory and to the common room. There was someone else there. Inside, she sort of knew that he would be there. Almost silently, she went over to him and knelt down beside the armchair before the fire to look at him.

His cheeks were tear stained and his eyes still bright with more tears that fell down his face. He ran a trembling hand through his hair and sniffed in spite of himself. A pained expression lingered on his face.

Hallie reached out a hand to brush away his tears but he looked away. She bit down on her lip. After a moment, she said, "Sirius, please tell me what's wrong."

He just stood. "I can't," he whispered. "You wouldn't understand anyway." And then he left the room, his head bowed down.

~*~

The next morning, Sirius didn't come to breakfast. Remus looked to James with a puzzled expression. "Where's Padfoot?" he asked. James didn't look up but shrugged.

They next went to Transfiguration where they took their seats. Hallie looked to the door. She turned around in her seat. "James, where is he?" she wondered in concern. He sighed and shrugged once more.

During the middle of class, they were surprised to see Sirius walk in. Professor McGonagall looked up, gave him a small smile and told him to take a seat. He looked around the class and when the group stared at him, he forced a smile and waved. When the bell rang, Hallie stood and looked at Sirius squarely.

"Sirius," she started, but he shook his head.

"Not now, Hal." She looked at him with a hurt expression then turned on her heels and walked away. He watched after her with a strange look upon his face before packing up his things. James shared a look with Lily. When she gave him a meaningful look, he averted his eyes.

She took hold of his hand. "Come with me," she said to him. James looked at Remus and Peter for help but they shrugged. She led him into the corner of the library. "I know you know what's going on," she told him with her hands on her hips. He looked out the window. "James..."

"Well maybe I do!" he exclaimed and took a seat. She sat next to him. "But what am I supposed to do about it? It's like yesterday that it happened to me and I remember exactly how I reacted...I don't want it to be like that. He just needs some time, I think."

Lily was confused. "What?"

He looked at her. "I tried to get rid of that part of me again, but it just won't go away." She still looked puzzled. "I had a premonition two nights ago," he whispered, averting his eyes again. Lily's eyes widened and she took his hand in hers. "I told him about it, and he - I don't know...snapped. He's been taking everything so hard...and it's been leaving its mark...what happened in our third year...and in our fifth year..." James shook his head.

"And it - it came true..." Lily said softly. He nodded.

~*~

That was a rough week for everyone. Sirius not only avoided Hallie, but Lily, Peter, Remus...everyone really, and especially James.

He sat in the library with a book in front of him, but he was looking out the window. His mind swirled with a million thoughts that seemed so jumbled up and he couldn't separate one from another. Inside, his heart pounded rhythmically, though every time it did, it was as if it tore more from him than was already.

Down in the grassland before the lake, he saw his friends walk by. They sat around for lunch, which had just recently become a routine. On Saturday's, they would have lunch outside. James and Lily and Remus flew around on brooms, high and low, to and fro...a smile nearly came to his lips at just watching them. He saw Peter below, fixing up the meal and Hallie...he frowned. He didn't see Hallie.

"Sirius," said a voice, making him jump up in alarm. She stood in front of him, looking a bit out of place. Her hands were behind her back and she looked nervous. "I wanted to talk to you."

He stood up. "Not now, Hallie." He turned to go, but she stood in front of him.

"Sirius, I really need to talk to you," she told him, her voice trembling slightly. He chanced a look at her, but she wasn't looking at him.

Sirius shook his head. "Can we talk some other time? I'm not in the mood right now." He moved to swerve around her, but again, she stood in his path.

Now she looked up at him. "Sirius, you're never in the mood." Her voice was soft yet carried such a tone it was as if her voice was raised. "It's either, 'not now,' or, 'I'm busy' or 'some other time'...well, I'm asking you to make time." He looked out the window. "Please, I just want you to tell me what's wrong. I can help."

At this, it was as if the wire in him snapped. "No you can't! You can't help!" He pushed past her and rushed out of the library. He heard her footsteps echo behind him.

"Sirius, don't you walk away from me." She held onto his arm and turned him around, tears shined in her eyes. "Why won't you talk to me? You've been avoiding me and everyone else. You can't keep it bottled up inside you."

"You should know, you do it all the time," he said back. Her eyes filled with tears.

She didn't let go of his hand. "Sirius, please, I'm begging you to talk to me."

He wrenched it out of her grasp. "Well maybe I don't want to."

She stepped before him when he turned away. "I'm not letting you get away from me. You're going to talk, and you're going to talk now. I know something's wrong, and it's so bad that you're not even trying to hide it. If you think not talking to anyone and avoiding your friends is going to make the problem go away, well, you're wrong. So tell me, Sirius, and tell me this instant." Her voice pleaded with him and her eyes begged him to listen, to talk to her, to say anything.

He glared down at her. His heart pounded ferociously in his chest and his veins coursed with anger. "You always have to have your way, don't you? It always has to be your way or nothing at all! Well, in the real world, Hallie, it's not going to be like that. It's tough out there. No one cares for you and so you can't care for them. Just let this one go!" he shouted at her. She took a step back. He tried to move past her again, but she stood in his way, glaring back up at him.

"No! I won't! I said I'd be there for you, Sirius, and here I am. So just tell-," but he cut her off.

"I won't tell you anything! How many times to I have to say that? To hell with your being by my side and always being there for me! It means nothing, zip, zero, nothing. Everyone always says it, it doesn't mean anything!"

The tears broke through their dam and down her cheeks. "It does mean something, and I mean it! Why won't you open your eyes and look around you! Everyone loves you, Sirius! We all want to help you but you keep pushing us away!"

"Because I don't want your help! I don't need it! Get it through your mind! Why won't you go away?" he yelled.

She took his hand in hers and he felt her shaking violently with sobs being restrained. "Because I care for you, Sirius! I care for you! I want to help you! Why can't you see that?"

He looked at her squarely, his voice trembling with emotion and his eyes wet with tears. "I don't need you! I don't want your help!"

"Then what do you want?" cried Hallie.

He wiped away his tears and pulled his hand from her grip making her stumble back. His eyes bore into hers viciously and his voice carried venom with hate for the world. "What I want is for you to leave me the bloody hell alone," he said quietly. He turned and ran away with Hallie watching after him.

~*~

She ran out of the castle and to her friends who sat around on the blanket. Lily looked up and saw her best friend with tears streaming down her cheeks. The girl's eyes were filled with such pain and anguish that her own eyes stung with tears. The tears splashed down into the luscious green grass and more burned in her eyes. Everything was a blur and it seemed like she was stuck in a nightmare.

She hugged Hallie who cried into her robes. "He," she swallowed, "he's-," but her sobs wouldn't let her speak. The others looked at her with wide eyes and James got up.

"Hallie," he started, but Lily shook her head and mouthed 'not now.' He nodded but instead of going to sit back down, he went into the castle.

This had gone far enough. It had been a whole week now and Sirius was just getting worse. James knew the other boy was hurting badly, but he couldn't let it continue this way any longer. He looked up and down the halls. Then he strolled to the library to find no one there. Next, he went to the common room. The next place he went to was the dormitory. There was Sirius, sitting at the windowsill, looking outside.

The boy looked at him. "Just go away, James, I don't want to talk to you," said Sirius. His voice was shaky and pain filled while his cheeks were tear-stained.

"Well I want to talk to you," James replied. "All this - this arguing and - and avoiding everyone, it has to stop." Sirius shook his head and continued to gaze out the window. "I know you're hurting, Sirius, but everyone, your friends...we all want to help. And your pushing them away...well, it's not doing any good, you're hurting us in turn. You have to stop it."

Sirius got up and glared at him. "You don't understand James, none of you do. I want you all to just go away. Is it so hard to leave me alone?"

James' temper flared but he kept his voice steady and serene. "Yes, Sirius, it is."

"Why?" the other boy yelled back.

"Because we care for you, that's why! Just tell us what's wrong! We can help," said James, but his voice getting softer. His expression changed. "Hallie just had this conversation with you, didn't she?" Sirius didn't answer but turned away. "She's crying, did you know that?"

The other boy shrugged, but didn't face him. Sirius said, "I don't care." But his voice held an opposing tone.

"Oh don't you give me that," said James in irritation. "You do to, and she just wants to help! Why can't you see that, Sirius! Open your eyes and take a good look around!" They looked at each other with glares. "Just tell me what's wrong. I'll never ask anything of you again."

The other boy looked at him as if he was dim. "You should know, James! You're the one who predicted what happened! Or don't you remember?"

James looked away. "What do you want us to do about it? If you don't give us a chance, we can't help you! You're going to keep on hurting because you're trying to keep it to yourself! Well it doesn't work that way!"

"It works any way I want it to! Just leave me alone! What do you know! It didn't just happen to you did it?" cried Sirius. He collapsed onto the bed beside the windowsill. "Just go away! I don't want to talk to you! Or Hallie! I don't want to talk to any of you! Go away!"

James looked at him for a moment. "I thought you were better than this," he spat out before leaving. The group was in the common room and when he came down, they looked at him. "He-," started James.

Remus said, "Yeah, we could hear."

James grinned crookedly. "Were we that loud?" Lily stood up and held his hand. He gave her a hug and closed his eyes, his head leaning on hers. "I don't know what to do with him anymore," he whispered. He sighed in defeat and shook his head. "Is there evem anything we can do?"

~*~

Voldemort glared as he looked out the window. "Get Lucius," he told Janice and Rick. They nodded and bowed, then left. A few moments later, Lucius stood before his master. "Get me the prophecy," ordered the Dark Lord.

Lucius too bowed and later came back with the rolled up parchment. "The prophecy, my lord," he said.

"Downfall," muttered Voldemort himself. "But who will cause it?" An idea lit his mind. "Lucius, bring in the potion."

~*~

Requillo gazed into his fire. The clouds were dark and stormy while the air was unusually chilly for the middle of spring. He got up and looked out the window. On the ground, flower petals and leaves swirled around in mini-tornadoes, which sent a chill up his spine. He whistled and owl was immediately on his arm.

He went up the steps and took a seat before his desk, a quill and parchment in hand.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

The air is cold and the day is dark. I can feel inside what is to come. They're coming, and soon they will be here. What shall I do? I just arrived home, as the saying goes, and I wish not leave it so soon. Do you have any advice? Please owl me back as soon as possible.

Yours truly,

Requillo

Requillo tied the letter to the owl's leg and sent it off. After watching it until it became but a speck in the sky, he went back down the steps to brew a cup of tea. He had only to wait now, it was all he could do.

~*~

Frank kissed Sarah's forehead. She smiled and looked at the many owls before them. "Now?" she asked. He grinned and nodded. She cut the ribbon and the mass of owls flew off into the sky. They watched as the dark splashes of color in the sky went their separate ways. Sarah turned to look at him. "I can't wait," she said.

He kissed her cheek. "Neither can i."

~*~

"The Potters?" asked Voldemort with a frown. "But I got rid of them...except their son..." he said as an after thought.

Lucius nodded. "The solution is apparent, my lord," he said.

Voldemort looked into his magical mirror at the picture of the boy with messy black hair. "Yes, Lucius, indeed it is."

~*~

Sirius glared at the ceiling and after another few moments without sleep, he got up. He pushed his curtains back and quietly went down the steps. Making no sounds, he slipped towards the armchair but someone was already sitting in it. He knew she was going to be there, but then why did he come down if he didn't want to talk to anyone?

Hallie glared into the fire and let the flaming tears well up in her eyes and fall down her cheeks. They tickled her skin as they dripped down, she didn't care. It wasn't that big of a deal.

"I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky

And I swear like the shadow that's by your side."

She brushed away her tears and sighed, humming softly.

"I see the questions in your eyes

I know what's weighing on your mind

You can be sure I know my heart

'Coz I'll stand beside you through the years

You'll only cry those happy tears

And though I make mistakes

I'll never break your heart."

Sirius heard her voice tremor and steadied himself by leaning against the wall. He saw her shadow in the firelight.

"And I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky

I'll be there

I swear like a shadow that's by your side

I'll be there

For better or worse, till death do us part

I'll love you with every beat of my heart

And I swear""

She brushed away her tears. Her voice lowered to an almost inaudible whisper.

"I'll give you every thing I can

I'll build your dreams with these two hands

We'll hang some memories on the walls

And when just the two of us are there

You won't have to ask if I still care

'Coz as the time turns the page, my love won't age at all"

He moved slightly towards her, but bit down on his lip and took a step back again.

"And I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky

I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side

I'll be there

For better or worse, till death do us part

I'll love you with every beat of my heart

And I swear

I swear (I swear) by the moon and stars in the sky

I'll be there

I swear like the shadow that's by your side

I'll be there"

Her voice broke and she wiped away more tears, feeling unbearably foolish. She stood up and turned to go back up to her dormitory, but when she looked up, she stood face to face with Sirius. He had a caught expression upon his face and he took a step back. Her eyes widened. "Oh - um, hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," he said in a just as soft voice. Whenever their eyes met, he caught sight of a shadow of an expression. It was one full of hurt. She turned to go past him, but he held out an arm. "Hallie, wait." She looked up at him. A feeling of guilt passed through him. It was as if she forced herself to look him in the eye when she would have rather curled up in a ball and hide away. "I-I wanted to apologize."

She took a step back. "Apologize for what?" she wondered softly, not looking at him now.

He too looked away. "For-er-for what I said-earlier. I shouldn't have said it, it just came out."

Now Hallie looked at him. "When you blurt things out, then it was really something you felt, but just didn't want to say out loud," she told him.

He looked down at her and bit his lip. "Look, Hallie, I-," but Hallie cut him off.

"am going to tell you what's been bothering me lately," she said, her hands on hips. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"I already told you, I-," but she cut him off again.

"can't." She shook her head and turned to move around him. "Then never mind, we have nothing to say to each other."

He held out his arm again to stop her commencing towards her dorm. "Hallie, look, I do have to talk to you." She shook her head but he took her hand in his. "I'm sorry about saying what I did, and sorry about blowing up at you when you were just trying to help."

She frowned up at him. "It doesn't matter, Sirius."

He looked at her in shock. "Hallie, I'm trying to apologize-"

"I know you are, and good for you, but it doesn't matter. If you're going to keep secrets from me, and you don't want to share things with me...then-then," she shook her head and sighed. "I don't know."

He pulled her over to the couch. "I was thinking, and I couldn't sleep tonight. I want it to work between us," he said softly, looking at her in the dim light of the fire. She looked away. "And we can make it work, I know we can."

"Sirius, it won't work, it won't," she told him.

He put his finger under the tip of her chin and lifted so that they were eye to eye. "It will, and I'm going to make sure of that. I-I don't like getting mad like-like I did this afternoon. And I hate it especially when I blow up at you. It won't be like that, not anymore, I promise." In his eyes was warmth and sincerity and tears came to her eyes. "I'm sorry, just please come back to me," he whispered, looking at her with his deep black eyes.

She found she wasn't able to look away. "Sirius, I never left you."

He smiled and touched her cheek tenderly. She tried to look away, but couldn't. "I should have known that, and I'm sorry." Now she did.

"Took you long enough," she said quietly. He laughed and hugged her. His smile faded when she didn't hug him back. She pulled away. "Sirius, what made you so angry." There it was, the question, the question he knew had to come up. He was just counting down the seconds until it finally did. He turned away. She stood up. "This is what I'm talking about, you won't talk to me. What is it, Sirius? Is it me? What did I do? What's so wrong with me that you don't even want to be around me sometimes?" Her voice trembled and her eyes pleaded with him.

He shook his head and stood up too. "It isn't you, Hallie," he told her.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him. "Oh really? Then tell me, what is it?"

Her face was filled with curiosity, but still had that pained look apparent on it. Her chin trembled ever so slightly, and he could tell she was holding back her tears. He pulled her close and rested his head on her shoulder, his eyes closing. She stood stiff for a moment before wrapping her arms about him. She gave him such a feeling of warmth and comfort that his heart wrenched inside him. It was as if he had finally come home. Because of this feeling, he totally broke down. The tears broke free from their restraint and his body racked with sobs.

Hallie rubbed his back. She whispered sweet nothings in his ear and soon, his sobs quieted and she helped him to take a seat on the couch. His eyes were filled with anguish and his cheeks tear-stained. She wiped away his tears and kissed his cheeks. "Tell me what's wrong, Sirius, please."

He looked into the fire and after a while, he closed his eyes. "James had another premonition. Like always," he swallowed, "it came true." She hugged him tightly. "My parents...they didn't even suspect...and he just came...I had the dream, Hallie, the night before...and I tried-tried to tell them, I even tried to leave the school..." he shook his head and wiped away new tears. "They didn't even think that anything like that would happen to them, why Voldemort would even pay any heed to them." He spat out the word Voldemort with hatred. His eyes flared and he choked on another sob. "I-I just feel so...empty, without them. Without knowing that they're there...I guess I always just took them for granted..." He forced a smile but it crumbled away. Hallie didn't know what to say so she just pulled him into another hug. He cried into her robes. After a while, he pulled away. There was a different look in his eyes as he gazed at her. "Thanks for being here for me, Hal. I feel a little better."

She smiled at him softly. "I'm glad."

"I don't deserve you," he whispered to her with a small smile.

"Your right, you don't," she replied. He grinned and leaned down to kiss her. When they parted, she looked at him carefully. Somehow, he looked different, younger somehow. His eyes showed his feelings clearly. He felt lost and somewhat out of place making him look like a child. His hair was particularly messy and his robes disheveled and hanging off his shoulders. She touched his cheek. "When was the last time you've had a good night's sleep?" she asked quietly.

He smiled at her. "Well...um..." His smile faltered a bit and he laughed softly. "I don't remember."

She stood up and held out her hand. He took it. "Come on, let's get you up to bed," she told him. He raised his brows up and down and she laughed, swatting at him. Sirius stretched out on the length of the couch and pulled her next to him. She rested her head on his chest and he pulled her closer. Hallie looked up at Sirius and she kissed his lips softly. "I'll help you get through this, Sirius," she said.

He kissed her back. "Thanks, it means a lot to me." He closed his eyes and she watched his with a smile playing on her lips. She touched his cheek and he smiled, his eyes still closed.

"Goodnight, Sirius."

He opened his eyes to smile down at her. "Goodnight, Hallie."

~*~

Requillo heard the flutter of wings and saw an owl fly by. It dropped a letter onto his lap and then soared back out the open window he was perched beside. The parchment held the official seal of Hogwarts and he immediately ripped it open and read its contents. His heart dropped at the news Albus Dumbledore gave him.

He went to his mirror and whispered a few words. He saw Hallie lying comfortably beside Sirius and smiled softly to himself. Requillo reached out a hand and touched the mirror gently, wistfully. With a deep sigh, he muttered the counter curse and looked down at the letter once more.

What's done is done and sometimes cannot be fixed. He was stuck in one of those situations.

~*~

"We've located one out of two locations, master," Lucius said softly. "An owl has been sent by Albus Dumbledore to him. We know not what he will do, but it's apparent he will make whatever decision necessary to keep his child safe."

Voldemort looked at his servant. "Well done, Lucius. However, now you will..."

"Find the locations of Requillo." Voldemort grinned at his new second in command. This man held courage and hatred in his heart. His mind was filled with the cunning and ambition that was needed to be on the Dark Side in which he was.

"Indeed. Very well done, Lucius, very well done."

~*~

Sirius blinked his eyes open and saw Hallie smile up at him. He closed his eyes and grinned. "How long've you been watching me?" he asked with laughter in his voice.

"Dunno," she replied quietly.

"Just admiring my good looks, then, huh?" he said with a laugh. She laughed back and swatted at him, but he opened his eyes and caught her hand in his. He brought her fingers to his lips and smiled sweetly at her.

"You're too much, Sirius," she said softly.

"Ugh, you both are too much." Sirius and Hallie sat bolt right up and looked to the group standing at the steps. Thy started laughing and the two on the couch frowned.

"How long've you been there?" asked Hallie.

"Dunno," Peter said. The whole group started laughing and he looked around in puzzlement.

~*~

"I guess everything's all right now then?" asked James.

Sirius smiled and said, "Eggs please."

Remus laughed and passed him the dish. "You seem in a better mood."

"I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting..." trailed Sirius sheepishly.

"You should be," said Hallie with a snobbish tone. He laughed and swatted at her and she just laughed and moved out of his reach. "Just kidding you, Sirius." He shrugged. The swarms of owls flew in through the window and each of the group got a letter.

"Frank and Sarah are getting married!" exclaimed Peter with a broad grin.

Lily's mouth dropped open. "This is wonderful! We haven't seen them in ages!"

The date was set for one month after their graduation and they chatted excitedly. Most of the school was excited for they too had gotten invited and for the next few days, the upcoming wedding was the talk of the school. They sent back owls for their responses.

~*~

The weeks slowly passed by and before they knew it, graduation was here. Hallie was asked to perform the end of the year song. All the seventh were in a rush as they busily got all the decorations up and the invitations sent. Every mother and father would come on the Hogwarts express to come to their graduation.

~*~

James and Lily, the head boy and girl, held hands as the came up on stage. The parents clapped nosily and hooted and hollered. They laughed and looked at each other. Each made their speeches and soon exited the stage to let the headmaster come forward. "Now, witches and wizards, please give a round of applause to Hallie Forester who will be performing the graduation song."

"Go on," whispered Sirius, giving her a slight shove towards the stage. She looked at him nervously. He laughed. "You can do it, Hallie," he told her with a sweet smile he reserved for only her. She ran to him and jumped up to give the boy a big hug. Then she ran off towards the stage. He smiled as he watched after her.

"And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same

But when we leave this year we won't be coming back

No more hanging out cause we're on a different track

And if you got something that you need to say

You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down

These memories are playing like a film without sound

And I keep thinking of that night in June

I didn't know much of love

But it came too soon and there was me and you

And then we got real blue

Stay at home talking on the telephone

We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared

Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair

And this is how it feels."

It was night out and gave such a feeling of contentment and warmth that everyone was calm and serene. Many of the girls had tears streaming down their faces in sorrow at leaving their friends and the guys...they too were tearing at the eyes, but chose to hide it.

"As we go on, we remember

All the times we had together

And as our lives change, come whatever

We will still be, friends forever."

James reached over and put Lily's hand in his. She looked over and wiped away her tears with a rueful smile. He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. She wrapped her arms about his neck and he held her near.

"So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money

When we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

Still be trying to break every single rule

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?

Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

And this is how it feels."

Remus looked to the ceiling of the Great Hall where the stars showed brightly down. That one star particularly shining down on him.

"La, la, la, la; yeah, yeah, yeah

La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end

And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?

Will these memories fade when I leave this town

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on, we remember

All the times we had together

And as our lives change, come whatever

We will still be, friends forever

Friends forever..."

The lights came back on and there was an eruption of loud applause. Hallie smiled and walked offstage where she was immediately engulfed in a great bear hug. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Congratulations, Sirius," she said to him softly.

"You too, Hal, and happy graduation."

~*~

They looked at each other with tearful smiles. "Goodbye, Hallie," cried Lily.

They hugged each other tightly. "Goodbye, Lily, I'll miss you."

James and Sirius laughed. Sirius shook his head. "It was as if you're not going to see each other ever again."

"You guys are seeing each other in three weeks!" exclaimed James.

"Oh," they said at once. They parted and laughed.

"Hallie?" called a voice above the ruckus of the crowd in the train station. She looked around and caught site of the unmistakable white/blonde head. The girl ran up and she and her father embraced. Requillo led her back to the group. "So we'll see you in a month, right?" he asked. They nodded. "All right then, come on, Hal, Sirius," he said and they followed him away.

~*~

Requillo sat up late that night in his room, his eyes bloodshot with dark bags under them. The poor man's heart was pounding painfully in his chest.

Should he or shouldn't he?

"I don't know, Albus...it seems as if it was just yesterday I found her," he whispered.

Albus Dumbledore's head hovered in the fire sorrowfully. "I know, but it seems to me the only way. He's going to know you'll be under the curse. If that's the way you'd rather go, I'll be glad to be your secret keeper."

Requillo shook his head stubbornly. "He'll then go after you, he knows you'll offer...I just-," he sighed. "You'll get hurt...and if I stay...Hallie will get hurt..." Shaking his head, he sighed once more in aggravation. "Why does it have to be so hard!" he exclaimed.

Albus looked at him with remorse deep in his sparkling ocean blue eyes. "That's the way of life."

"I know, and I wish it wasn't." After a few more long hours of conversing, Requillo was forced to make up his mind. "I can always stop by, once in a while. But I feel that this is the only way..."

The ancient man nodded. "As do I, I'm sorry, Requillo." And then there was a poof and he was gone.

Requillo quickly wrote his letter and slipped into his daughter's room. She lay peacefully with a contented expression upon her face. Everything in her world was perfect...but soon...he shook his head. It hurt to think about it. He kissed her forehead. "I love you, Hallie, never forget that. And I promise you I'll be back, and I swear it," he whispered with a sorrowful smile. "I'm sorry." And then he walked away.