A Letter To Live By

Chapter Six

You're Never Winning Me Over

The darkness around him was overwhelming. "Hello?" he shouted. His voice didn't even echo. Harry realized then that he couldn't possibly be awake, even though he felt as though he was.

He could sometimes hear people talking in echoes around him, but they never heard when he called to them. At the moment it was deathly silent, and Harry began humming just to have sound reaching his terrified ears.

All this time alone was playing serious games with Harry's psyche. He kept replaying the abuse he suffered at his uncle's hands over and over again in his mind.

"I don't know why I feel so bothered by it," Harry said to himself. "It's not like I didn't deserve what I got. I DID kill all of those innocent people. Cedric died because of me, and my parents, and that old Muggle that came out of Voldemort's wand. They all died because I wasn't strong enough to stop Voldemort."

\ But you're just a child. // a voice in the back of Harry's mind said.

"That doesn't stop those people from being dead, does it?" Harry replied.

\ How are you supposed to take on the strongest dark wizard in centuries at the age of fifteen? You've already survived four confrontations with him, and that's more than most grown wizards can say. //

"It still doesn't change the fact that I am the direct cause of so many deaths," Harry said. He'd had this argument with several people since the end of the Third Task of the Tri-wizard Tournament last year and he was getting sick of it. "Those people are dead and no amount of justification will bring them back. I deserved what Uncle Vernon did to me because I should really be in Azkaban for murder. No one will put me there because I'm the great and wonderful Harry Potter. The insatiable Boy-Who-Lived."

\ Those people care about you. //

"Only because they want me to save their necks the next time Voldemort comes around."

\ That's not true and you know it. //

"Yeah, whatever."

\ You are being too hard on yourself. //

Harry ignored the voice. He strained to hear something else in the silence, and the echoing voices started to emerge again.

"Albus, I want to know if--" a man was saying. He stopped in mid-sentence. "When did HE get here?"

"Ah, Arthur" Dumbledore replied. "I was wondering how long it would be before I heard from you."

"How long has he been here?" Mr. Weasley inquired.

"Almost a week," Dumbledore replied. "He's in a coma."

"I was just coming to find out if you knew what happened to him."

"I thought you would."

"Dad!" a boy's voice cut in. "Did you-- Harry!"

Harry could hear running footsteps approaching him. "Hello?" he cried.

"Harry, can you hear me?" the boy asked. "It's Ron."

"Ron!" Harry screamed. "Ron, help me!"

"What happened to him?" Ron asked.

\ GRRR! Why do I even bother?! //

"His relatives were abusing him," Dumbledore replied, sounding more than a little disappointed. "How did you find out he was gone?"

"I sent him a birthday gift," Ron said. "Pig came back with it. He's never failed a delivery before."

"He probably couldn't find a way to get to Harry," Dumbledore said. "He was bolted into his room."

"Why didn't you do anything to stop them?!" Ron shouted, sounding very angry.

"I didn't know, young Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore replied calmly. "I am not all knowing."

"You certainly gave a good impression of it till now!" Ron said, his voice dripping with venom.

"Ron!" Mr. Weasley interjected. "Do not speak to your headmaster that way!"

"WHY NOT?!" Ron bellowed. "THIS IS HIS FAULT! IF HE DIDN'T SEND HARRY TO LIVE WITH THOSE- THOSE PEOPLE HE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS!"

"Ron, calm yourself," Mr. Weasley said. "I'm sorry, Albus."

"It's quite all right, Arthur," Dumbledore replied. "I can see his point."

"Harry?" Ron asked tentatively.

\ Oh, bugger! It's worth a try! // "I'm here!" Harry shouted. "Come and pull me back!"

"Oh, Harry," Ron said. "He's not going to die, is he?"

"I don't know," Dumbledore replied. "Why don't we go up to my office and discuss things?"

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore," Ron said, sounding sad and defeated.

"Ron!" Harry shouted. "Ron wait! Come back!"

The voices faded around him and once again he was left alone with his thoughts.

"I feel like I've been here for ages," Harry said aloud. "Why don't I ever feel sleepy?" He sat silently for a long time, until the blackness around him began to fade into the back yard of a house. "What? Where am I?"

Harry walked forward and into the back door. The house was dark and empty. In front of him was a flight of stairs. Harry proceeded up these and into a small room on the left side of the hallway. There was a faint light in the door, and Harry's curiosity got the better of him. He had to see what was in that room.

Harry peeked around the door and saw a large, high-backed chair. There was a fireplace emitting a warm glow, and Wormtail (a friend of his father's who had betrayed his parents to Voldemort) was seated on a smaller chair in the corner.

Harry stepped into the room, knowing that he was dreaming, and walked around to the other side of the high-backed chair. In it, Voldemort was seated. Nagini, his snake, was curled up in his lap like a dog or a kitten.

"It is most unfortunate that Harry Potter has been taken back to school, Wormtail," Voldemort said to his servant.

"Yes, my Lord," Wormtail squeaked. "I've been told that he was taken away by Albus Dumbledore himself."

"Ah," Voldemort replied. "But the question is, 'why was he taken away at all?' Perhaps Dumbledore could sense what we were planning."

"Perhaps," Wormtail said.

"Or," Voldemort continued, "perhaps someone *told* him what we were planning."

"What do you mean, my Lord?" Wormtail asked, sounding extremely nervous.

"I believe there is a spy among us," Voldemort said. "Although I'm not sure who it is. I must find out and destroy the traitor."

"Yes, my Lord."

"You must help me discover who it is."

"How, my Lord?"

"Leave that to me." Voldemort stroked Nagini thoughtfully. "Leave us," he said to Wormtail. "I need time to ponder this."

Wormtail practically ran to the door. "Yes, my Lord," he said as he went.

"Perhaps Harry would join us, Nagini," Voldemort said in Parsletongue.

"Perhapssssss," Nagini replied.

"NO!" Harry screamed. "I'll never join you! You're never winning me over!"

"Perhapsss all he needsss isss a bit of percolation," Nagini suggested.

"NO!" Harry screamed again. "You're wasting time! You're never winning me over!"

"Perhapss you are right, Nagini," Voldemort said.

The vision faded and Harry was left in darkness again.