Wherever You Will Go

So lately, been wondering

Who will be there to take my place?

When I'm gone you'll need love

To light the shadows on your face.

I'll never see you again.

Remus, of the shabby robes, tousled hair and longing, blue-eyed looks. Moony, of the fiendish childhood pranks, where would the Marauders have been without their quiet but scheming werewolf? Remus, who held tightly around my waist during those above-cloud motorcycle rides, at first nervous, but then understanding the romantic allure of it all, us alone sharing the cool wind and starry night sky. Always stealing my muggle biking clothes, always forgiven because he looked so good in leather. Remus when we revealed our feelings for each other, so new and yet so familiar, who felt so right asleep in my arms. Remus, who needed me, and I him.

And maybe, I'll find out

A way to make it back someday,

To watch you, to guide you

Through the darkest of your days.

I'll never see you again, and today you couldn't even bear to look at me. I don't blame you, I wanted you so much to be happy, God knows you deserve it, but I've ruined all chance of that now. It looked as though everything would turn out right, didn't it? We'd left Hogwarts with flying colours, (well, you had,) we had jobs saving the world, no-one was persecuting you for being a werewolf anymore. Peter was doing fine for himself, for all we saw of him, Lily and James were married! Joy of joys, Snape and Lucius had left our lives for what, by rights, should have been eternity, and, of course, there was us.

If I could, then I would,

I'll go wherever you will go,

Way up high, or down low

I'll go wherever you will go.

Having discovered our mutual adoration in the last year at Hogwarts, we had entered the adult world still in the first, idealistic throes of true love, in which each other's every word, quality or action is perceived as a miracle. Spoiling this perfect picture was Voldemort, but I didn't care. I could have waltzed through the gates of Hell with you by my side, and I think that you felt the same way.

Oh Remus, I wanted, I promised to give you everything, and instead I took it all away. I didn't just betray Lily and James, I betrayed you. I've left you with nothing, no-one to turn to, none of the friends you valued so much.

Why? Why was I stupid enough to persuade them to use Pettigrew as Secret-keeper? I as good as killed them, all the signs were there, I just refused to see. To think, forgive me, that I even believed that you could have been Voldemort's spy, but never Pettigrew. Crawling, snivelling little Peter Pettigrew, who loved being a Marauder not for the fun or companionship, but for the protection, the status we gave him. I should have known that as soon as he saw a bigger bully on the playground, he'd run to them willingly.

I know now, just quite how

My life and love will still go on,

In your heart, in your mind

I'll stay with you for all of time.

Because of my one, blind decision, I took away everything you held dear. I don't expect you to forgive me for killing them. You'll never find the truth either, but just struggle through life untrusting and alone, believing I murdered three of our friends in cold blood. Meanwhile, I'll be in Azkaban, slowly losing my mind as the Dementors leach from me the memory of every precious moment we had together.

I'm going to miss you Moony.