Shivers

Shivers

Sirius Black liked it when Remus Lupin shivered. He liked the way that the small hairs on the back of his neck pricked up and the way he tried not to let his shoulders shake. The way Remus would look at him almost accusingly as if he were mad that these reactions made him seem somehow more human, because he was the calm and composed Remus Lupin and shouldn't shiver or do anything else that wasn't calm and composed.

He had first realized it in Charms class in their fourth year at Hogwarts. James had been preoccupied staring at Lily Evans across the room and Sirius had resorted to bugging Remus as he tried to listen to the professor's lecture. He poked Remus' neck roughly and laughed when Remus let out an exclamation of pain and shot him a dirty look over his shoulder. After the professor had scolded him, Sirius went back to poking Remus' neck, but more gently. Remus' hand would swat at Sirius' betraying finger, but he didn't dare look back at his friend in case the professor was to see.

It went on like that for months until the end of the school year. But once in school for their fifth year, Sirius picked up where he had left off until one day in the middle of the year when he chose to blow onto Remus' pale neck instead of jabbing it with his finger. The result was jolting to Sirius' stomach. Remus shivered and let out a small gasp and slowly looked back to Sirius whose mouth hung openly gaping at the other boy.

Sirius had stopped his distracting ways of poking Remus and hadn't tried blowing on his neck in the months to come after that. He sat quietly in class in a mixture of attentiveness toward the professor and attentiveness toward the back of Remus' neck. He studied the way that Remus' hair seemed to curl around his neck and collar. He tried poking James once, but James didn't notice. Lily was starting to steal glances over at James every so often now, and James watched for them so that their eyes could lock for a split second before they both looked away blushing. It wasn't the same as Remus.

In their sixth year, Sirius didn't do anything to Remus. He practically ignored him and started hanging out and talking with Peter more than Remus or James (since James was so preoccupied with Lily at this point). Remus sat quietly, undisturbed, in classes until one day in Defense Against Dark Arts when he sat next to Sirius instead of in front of him. Sirius smiled in a perplexed way and didn't pay much mind to it. Halfway through the class, Remus' leg knocked into Sirius'. Remus looked determinedly and purposefully at the professor as Sirius looked over to him. Sirius carefully, without too much pressure, pushed his leg to Remus' and they sat there until the bell rang signaling the end of class.

The remainder of classes that year were spent with their legs touching, pressure varied every few minutes. When Sirius found himself sitting in back of Remus he pressed his knee to the small of Remus' back and watched him squirm in his seat a little, trying not to shiver.

It was in their seventh year that Sirius lost control of himself. His mind was constantly on Remus Lupin and those moments during class that he wasn't completely calm and composed. With James and Lily going steady and Peter disappearing from their company, the two found themselves alone more often. Sirius found other ways to make Remus shiver. Sliding his tongue into his mouth caused the other boy's breath to catch in his throat and shivers to run over his spine. Tracing shapes and words along his stomach caused laughter to burst from the other boy's mouth as he begged Sirius to stop because he was ticklish. Sucking Remus' blood to the surface of his skin on that pale neck made Remus sigh and breath irregularly as he grasped Sirius' arms and back for support for his weak knees. Sirius' favorite was the way Remus gasped for breath as their hips moved together in a rhythm that changed it's pace from slow to fast to slow once again and the way that Remus fell asleep, slowly, in Sirius' bed afterwards. He especially liked waking up in the mornings and seeing the sunlight shining on Remus' bare skin. He also loved the way Remus would shiver in the mornings and then get closer to Sirius for warmth and mutter a sleepy 'love you'.

In the years after their graduation from Hogwarts, Sirius slowly believed poison that was whispered in his ear, and he slowly stopped making Remus Lupin shiver in all the different ways he had done years before. Remus was hurt by it and missed the old things that the more reasonable side of his mind forced him to forget. He was hurt even more on the night of James and Lily's death to discover that he had been sleeping with a traitor for years. He was angry and sad at the same time, but no matter how hurt he was he wouldn't have taken back all those sluggish I love you's.

Sirius thought about Remus many times in the next thirteen years. About how he had liked the way that the small hairs on the back of Remus' neck had pricked up and the way he tried not to let his shoulders shake. The way Remus had looked at him almost accusingly as if he were mad that the reactions made him seem more human, because he was the calm and composed Remus Lupin and shouldn't shiver or do anything else that wasn't calm and composed.

Sirius Black loved it when Remus Lupin shivered.