Free Will and Fate

Neville avoided looking at Harry as he sat at the table in the Great Hall the next morning. He was one of the few people who didn't stare and whisper when Harry came in. Harry nodded briefly at Ron, Parvati and Lavender and then looked around, wondering where Hermione was. She was normally up at least an hour before he was; she regularly made it to breakfast before most of their House. His answer came a minute later as Professor McGonagall approached the table.

"I'll need you in my office early, Mr. Potter."

Harry turned to her, surprised. "It's too early in the morning for me to be in trouble again," he said. "I swear, I just sat down."

"No, you are not in trouble again, at least not yet. Miss Granger is in my office and she needs you right now," McGonagall said. "You may have breakfast upstairs. Talk her into eating something while you're at it."

"Is she all right?" he asked, following the Headmistress out into the hall.

"That remains to be seen. She decided to get up early and read through the medical records by herself." McGonagall cleared her throat. "It may have been wise to ask her not to look at them yesterday. I think the information is too much for her."

Harry said nothing until they entered the Headmistress's office. Following his first instinct, he went to where Hermione had her head down on the table; her shoulders were shaking with sobs. He whispered her name and then she turned to him, grasping him tightly around his middle and crying until her tears had dissolved into little hiccupping sighs. Harry sat down and Hermione moved to sit on his lap, curling up there while he rubbed her back.

He knew exactly how she'd felt reading the Healer's findings, he'd felt it ten times worse the day before. To know every potion cure they'd tried so far had only multiplied the intensity of the symptoms and the rate at which the curse spread, it was a wonder he hadn't died already with the number of cures they'd attempted before they discovered that fact. Couple that with the knowledge that they'd had more than a year to cure his father and he knew Hermione was finally acknowledging the very real possibility of his death. To see the words on paper that way made it harder to push for that faith she had been clinging to for days.

"I'm not giving up," she said in a small voice. "Don't think that."

"I don't," Harry said. He looked around. Professor McGonagall had left them alone.

"I just--I didn't think it would be quite so hard. Even if we do find something that will help, even attempting could make it worse."

"Don't think about it that way, Hermione." He looked into her eyes and rubbed away the tear that had formed at the corner of one eye with his thumb. "You saw all the stuff you did in my memories. You figured out where to find Dumbledore's notes, how to read the Key, you even figured out how to get me to come around." He smiled encouragingly. "If you can do all that, I have no doubt you can find a cure."

"I'm not perfect," she whispered. "What if I can't do it?"

"It's enough that you're trying. When all of this overwhelms me, you help me remember why I want to live."

He kissed her then, soothing away all the tears she'd been struggling to hold back as he spoke. Then he went back to holding her in his arms, surprised to see Professor McGonagall sitting at her desk, watching the two of them. Lightning quick, she swiped once at her own eyes beneath her spectacles before retrieving the Pensieve from behind her desk and placing it on the table.

"I sent all of the memories from your third year to the Minister with Auror Tonks early this morning." She smiled faintly. "The Minister sent back a note with his congratulations that you survived your first year with your sanity intact, among other things."

"He watched the ones from first year yesterday?" Harry asked. "That must've taken half the night."

"He was quite curious," McGonagall responded. "He made that clear to you. Where do you wish to begin this morning?"

"You can look at the memory of me leaving the letter for my parents when I had the Time-Turner," Harry said, reaching for his wand. "It's not that long. I'll get the memory of that whole day bottled for the Minister and we can send that next." He held his wand to his temple and closed his eyes, pulling the memory out with ease. He placed it in the basin.

"What makes you think I need to see this particular memory, Mr. Potter?"

Harry shrugged. It was difficult with Hermione still on his lap, clinging to his chest. "After hearing the way Snape spoke to me in the Shrieking Shack third year and knowing what you know about what his relationship was like with my dad in school, I think this will be the one thing to convince you to trust me completely. I didn't mean for anyone to be hurt by what I did."

"I don't believe you had any ill intent, Mr. Potter. That was never the question."

Harry looked up at the stern face of his Headmistress. "I also never intended for him to take advantage and go after my mother. I've cut the memory so you can also see my parents the way I did, a few hours before I left the letter. Then you'll understand why I did it. You'll understand why I want to kill him--for taking that away from her."

"That does not mean I will suddenly approve of murder for revenge," McGonagall responded. "Particularly at the hands of a child."

"I don't think you will, but you will see why I want to, and that's enough," Harry said. "I don't expect you to agree, just understand."

Professor McGonagall nodded and conjured two plates on one end of the table. Seconds later, they filled with a variety of breakfast foods. "Attempt to get something down before delving into the medical file again. You will not be able to leave my office," she said.

Harry nodded. "I'll have the fourth year memories when you're done."

With one last nod, she went into the Pensieve and Harry began the painstaking task of trying to talk Hermione into forcing down a small portion of her breakfast.

When the Headmistress appeared again, she sat down across from the two students silently, briefly acknowledging Harry with a small nod when he looked at her. Maybe that will help her ease up a bit, Harry thought before going back to the Potions book in his lap.

McGonagall cleared her throat. "Mr. Potter, what do you think the Minister will say when he sees that particular memory?"

At her question, he looked up again in surprise. He hadn't thought about it himself, actually. "I suppose it will just be a confirmation," Harry said. "I told him about what I did days ago and he said he believed I was telling the truth. It is the only logical explanation for what's happened."

"Yes," McGonagall started. "Believing you is very different from having proof that someone he trusted has been lying for years. You do realize once he views this, he may not wait on you to find further proof of misdeeds. He may not suspect him of still being a Death Eater, but at the very least, he will want to question Professor Snape about taking credit for this letter."

"Why hasn't he done that already?" Hermione asked. "It's not as if he hasn't known for days."

"The Minister may have felt, as I did, that Professor Snape took credit to gain Lily's favor rather than let it be thought an unknown person was involved. He was spying for our side for a long time before that night," she said. "He was the one who told the Minister you or Mr. Longbottom could be in danger months before. None of us ever questioned that he had provided the information to save your lives."

"Now you think he'll question his truthfulness in general," Harry said.

"It's possible, yes. He may wonder about Professor Snape's motives where your mother was concerned, especially in light of James's subsequent illness. It would not take much for him to make a connection between the two if he decides to investigate further. When do you intend to share this memory with him?" she asked.

"After he sees the memories from my fifth year. Once he views the last one in the Ministry, he'll understand how I got the Time-Turner and how I got the opportunity to use it to change that night." Harry paused. "And why I did it," he added.

"You should wait a few days," McGonagall suggested. "Give him a few days to go through your other memories before turning over that one. I have a feeling it would be best to offer all evidence against your stepfather at one time. I do not believe he will hesitate to take action once he believes Professor Snape came after your father, never mind what he is up to now."

"She's right, Harry," Hermione said. "He was agitated the other night when you wouldn't tell him who you suspected. He'll go after him immediately."

"What would be so bad about that?" Harry asked. "We don't need Snape to find a cure. Dumbledore could probably force it out of him if he wanted to."

"He may be able to do so," McGonagall said. "But he may just kill him for what he's done. The Minister, unlike yourself, might be able to get away with that. For the sake of whatever he may be planning, it is better we providing damning evidence against Professor Snape and his co-conspirators before turning him in. After that, frankly I don't wish to know what will happen to him."

Harry was surprised by this statement, but said nothing. Maybe she wouldn't stand in his way when it came time to kill his stepfather. Regardless of what Dumbledore might or might not do, he still wanted to take care of the problem himself. For his father's memory, if for no other reason.

After a few moments of silence, Hermione closed the Potion book she had been reading through. "Professor, you said we could have access to any book in the library?" she asked.

"Yes," McGonagall responded. "What do you wish to look for? I can have relevant texts sent up."

Hermione began chewing at her bottom lip nervously, avoiding the Headmistress's eyes as she answered. "The only reason I was able to find out how the Key was being concealed was to use an Unforgivable Curse on it."

"You wish to do something similar with this mysterious curse?"

"Yes. Sort of. I think we should look at the kinds of spells...well, that normal witches and wizards wouldn't think to use. Even the three basic Unforgivables don't compare to what this curse can do," she said, gesturing to the medical file in front of her. "Maybe there's a clue in one of the books in the Restricted Section. It's obviously some type of Dark Magic. It's something we couldn't expect a Healer at St. Mungo's to know anything about." She looked at Professor McGonagall uncertainly.

"I believe you're right about that last." She shook her head slowly. "If I didn't know you are the type of student who can be trusted...I could lose my job for showing you the type of book you're requesting." McGonagall stood from behind the table. "I think I know what book may be of assistance. I'd better get it myself. Madam Pince would be shocked if I told her this was for a student. Particularly you, Miss Granger. I'll be right back."

The moment she'd left the office, Harry turned to Hermione. "Do you seriously think something like that will help? I was starting to think it might be some type of potion. Snape is an expert at those."

"The Healer's notes indicate they think it might be a combination of the two." She shrugged. "I'm not sure that's wrong. The symptoms are all over the place." Hermione looked down at the sheet in front of her. "Chronic pain, nightmares, fever, even...the organs seem to be wasting away. All of it could be caused by a potion, in theory, but a normal potion would've worked it's way through the body's systems by now."

"Unless it's some type of slow-acting poison," Harry said.

"Yes and no." She took a deep breath and closed the folder. "A poison would attack the body until the person dies or until a cure is administered. This one actually reacts to any attempts to administer a cure, as if it's been programmed to respond to magic healing. There's no known poison that responds to attempts to counteract it by fighting back."

"It has to be a curse," Harry said. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I knew you could figure something like this out. You'd make a great Auror."

She laughed softly. "I'd be scared half to death of actually having to fight someone. I think this is the closest I ever want to get to fighting Dark Magic."

"They have research jobs too," Harry said. "If you took a job at the Ministry, you'd probably be running a department in a few years."

"Assuming my reputation as a troublemaker doesn't follow me," she said with a small smile. Hermione raised a hand to Harry's cheek and stroked his skin with the tips of her fingers. "I'm sorry I hit you yesterday. I just got so upset that you would fight with him that way."

Harry held Hermione's hand to his cheek and closed his eyes briefly. "I know why you were upset. I just...I couldn't help the way I reacted. He's hated me since my first day at Hogwarts. It was hard to find out he's not only doing everything he can to hurt me, he's trying to make my mother mistrust me. You heard her the other day. She thinks the only reason he and I don't get along is because I don't try hard enough. When all of this is over, who do you think she'll blame? It'll be impossible to get her to listen to me long enough to explain."

"Your reaction was understandable, but you have to control your temper."

"It's easier when I have you to help me calm down," Harry said. "Though there are better ways than slapping me."

She smiled and leaned closer. "Really? How is that?"

He pressed his lips to hers and fought a smile as she kissed him back, sighing as she drew closer. Hermione moved into his lap and moved her fingers through his hair in a way he was beginning to like, to the point where he was wondering if she should stop doing that when they could be interrupted at any moment.

He hadn't realized how easy it would be to respond to her once he'd opened himself up to the idea of a relationship with his best friend, but he should've known her instincts were spot-on about the two of them, as they were about almost everything else. He had gotten used to the idea of--well, gotten used to the two of them being together far faster than he ever would've believed and every moment together since had just felt right. Being her friend had actually made the transition to being her boyfriend easier than if she'd just proposed a relationship out of the blue. He had never felt this at ease with Cho and he'd had a crush on her for a long while before she'd shown any interest.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat from the doorway and Hermione jumped up, blushing as she took her own seat again. "I haven't completely ruled out the idea of chastity belts," she said, putting a large dusty book on the table.

"A what?" Harry asked as Hermione coughed.

"You won't need to make me wear that, Professor. Nothing has happened. Or will," Hermione added.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm missing something?"

Professor McGonagall leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Didn't Miss Granger tell you what happened with the two of you last term?"

Harry shot a quick glance at her before looking back at the Headmistress. "Just that you walked in on us kissing in my dorm when we were supposed to be in class and...you got worried."

She raised both brows at his statement. "Yes, that is a polite way of referring to what I wish I hadn't seen. I'd hate to think the two of you are falling into old habits. In my office, of all places. I would be forced to take drastic action," she said, directing her gaze to take in Hermione.

"I...no. Hermione was just telling me her theory about the curse."

"And you were congratulating her on her brilliance?" The Headmistress asked in a dry voice.

Hermione cleared her throat. When McGonagall turned to her, she hurriedly repeated her theory, going further to say that they might be able to find a counter curse in a book if it wasn't something invented by Snape himself.

"That is a clever theory," McGonagall said, "But, please limit your congratulations to hugs or something equally platonic when in my office."

Harry nodded and pulled the book she'd brought from the library closer. "Magick Most Evile. That sounds like a load of fun to read. This will be the best one to help us?"

She nodded. "It is the most...thorough text on the subject available at Hogwarts. If the information you're looking for is not in there, you're not likely to find it anyplace outside of Knockturn Alley or the Auror Office." She placed her wand on the book's spine and said, "Somnus," before opening the front cover. "You have to put it to sleep or it will wail the entire time you're reading," McGonagall said.

"Thank you, Professor," Hermione said, pulling the text over.

"I have to caution you. There are very disturbing things contained in that text. If it takes a great deal of time to find what you are looking for, be careful to take breaks from reading it." She turned to Harry. "How many events do you wish to review from your fourth year?"

"I'm not sure." He looked over to where Hermione was beginning to look through the Magick book. "The two of most interest would be...after the third task in the TriWizard tournament when Cedric Diggory was killed." The Headmistress's eyes widened. "That was when Voldemort, with Pettigrew's help, used my blood and a few other things to get a create body for himself." He paused and noticed Hermione was now watching him. "I guess we don't need to watch that one unless they get far enough in their plan to bring him back now. As long as we have the Key, I don't think that can happen," Harry said.

"The truth is, I don't want to go through that one again. I had nightmares about that night for weeks. Sometimes I still do," he said quietly. "The other important memory is from right after I brought back Cedric's body, when we found out Barty Crouch, Jr. had been impersonating Professor Moody all year."

"The former Auror?"

Harry nodded. "His job was to get me to win the Tournament because Voldemort couldn't get to me here. The school was too well-protected. He had to find a way to get me to a Portkey. It took me and Cedric to the cemetery where Voldemort's Muggle relatives are buried. The whole night was pretty gruesome." He closed his eyes and was immediately confronted with a vision of Cedric falling dead to the ground, his eyes open and unseeing. "Crouch tried to kill me in his office that night." Harry shook his head. "I don't really want to watch any of it. You can, though," he said to Professor McGonagall. He indicated the last two vials in the long row on the table.

"I must admit, I don't wish to see any of what you just described unless I have no choice. Pray it doesn't come to that," McGonagall said.

"It does bring me to one thing," Harry began. He took a deep breath and told the Headmistress about his conversation with Neville the night before. "I know I shouldn't have said anything, but he was so worried. On some level, he might know Voldemort could come after him. If nothing else, we should find out if he had any nightmares recently and what they were about. They could be real visions."

"Have you had nightmares recently?" Hermione asked.

"A few," Harry said, "But only because I told you everything last week. That brought up a lot. I haven't thought about some of this stuff in years. I haven't had any nightmares that are different from the old ones."

"I am still of the opinion that Mr. Longbottom will not be involved unless he has to be." McGonagall said. "If he comes to me, I will reassure him that he is in no danger, but I don't wish to involve him in this." She gestured to indicate the notes and books on the table, along with the Pensieve.

Harry nodded. "I'll go along with that. He's just really upset with me now."

"Live with it, Mr. Potter." McGonagall stood from the table. "I am going to see about lunch. Be careful with that book, Miss Granger," she said before walking out of the room.