Free Will and Fate

When Harry pushed open the door to the dungeon classroom, he nearly ran over Tonks. She had let her hair change into a fluorescent pink, startlingly out-of-place in the dark room.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Are you still inspecting? I thought you'd be done by now."

"I was done hours ago, but I had to come back." She motioned to the room at large. Chairs were still scattered from where students had pushed them to rush out of the room. The cauldrons had all been emptied and returned to storage along with the potions ingredients. "I can't understand what happened here. There's no trace of any poisons, no dark objects, no traces of a curse in the room or on either you or Neville." She turned to him and dark green eyes locked with his. "Are you feeling okay now?"

"I'm fine," Harry responded. "I don't know what happened either, just--" He paused, wondering briefly if he should tell her what had really happened to him. What little he understood of it. Quickly, he decided against it. If Dumbledore had wanted the Auror involved, he wouldn't have asked for his reports to be delivered to Tonks sealed. "Maybe it's one of those things that'll never be explained," he finished lamely. "You haven't seen a wand in here by any chance? I dropped mine."

"Oh, yeah." She pulled a wand from her pocket and handed it to him. "Found that next to one of the cauldrons at the front."

Harry ran his fingers over the smooth holly surface. "Yeah, this is--" A small scratch in the surface caused him to study the wand closer. It looked exactly like the wand he'd been given when he was eleven, except for one thing. Near the bottom of the handle, someone had carved the initials 'NL' into the wood. "This is my roommate's," Harry said. "I'll make sure Neville gets it back." He slipped it into his pocket.

Tonks nodded and looked around the room one more time. "I'm going to leave. I've got to send a message to the Minister about what happened here."

"Tonks," Harry said as she began to turn away. "Don't forget your disguise."

She blinked and changed her hair and eye color quickly. "The Minister said you knew a little more about me than you'd let on."

Harry smiled. "I know a lot of things I haven't let on. Be careful around here."

Tonks returned his smile. "I should be giving you that advice. Let me know if you need any help, Harry."

"I will."

When she left the room, Harry pulled out Neville's wand and held it out. Curious, he attempted a couple of small spells, not at all surprised when the wand responded to him easily, feeling completely natural in his hand. With a quick Summoning Charm, he found his own wand and compared the two side by side. As he had suspected, they were identical except for Neville's initials at the bottom of his wand. Harry supposed that was one more thing he and Neville had in common. Another thing to connect them in the continuing fight against Voldemort.

"Harry, just take a minute and start again," Hermione said. "It's okay if you don't get it right tonight."
Harry lowered his wand and sighed. "No, I'm going to get it tonight. I'm just tired." He turned to Professor McGonagall. "Would it be possible for you to do this for me? If I picture the memory or something?"

"It is possible, yes," she said. "It's not entirely safe, though. Especially at your age. You should do it yourself. What may help is if you close your eyes and try to clear your mind of all thoughts, erase all emotions."

Harry sighed. "Like doing Occlumency. It's no wonder I'm having trouble."

She nodded. "It is similar. Just focus entirely on one memory and relax yourself. Once you've done it, it'll be easier to do each subsequent time."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes. After two more failed attempts at retrieving the memory, Hermione said, "Hold on, keep your eyes closed," and he heard her moving around the office. He smelled the faint scent of her peach conditioner before he felt her fingers on the back of his head, running through his hair. Harry opened his eyes.

"What are you doing?" He raised both eyebrows and frowned at her. "This is hardly the time."

She smiled and leaned closer. "I'm just helping you relax. It will work. Close your eyes."

Shaking his head, he closed his eyes again and took a series of slow, deep breaths, clearing his mind of everything but the memory of the troll attacking Hermione in the girl's bathroom first year. He felt one of Hermione's hands lift his wand arm closer to his head and the next thing Harry knew, there was a curious tickling sensation at his temple. He opened his eyes and watched in fascination as a silvery liquid-like substance trailed from the end of his wand to his temple, where it clung until he pulled it away with a jerk. Walking to the desk, he lowered the memory into the Pensieve in front of Professor McGonagall and watched in fascination as the memory swirled in the basin.

"Thanks, Hermione. That wasn't so bad," Harry said.

"What memory is it?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Harry grinned. He hadn't told her anything about his past and he reckoned Dumbledore hadn't clued her in either. She was in for a shock. "When Professor Quirrell was being possessed by Voldemort first year, he let a troll into the school on Halloween as a diversion so he could get to the Philosopher's Stone hidden in the school."

McGonagall merely stared at Harry, not sure if he was picking a poor time to make a joke. Hermione caught Harry's expression and fought down her own smile.

"Honest, Professor," Harry said. "This memory shows Ron and I going into the girls' bathroom to get Hermione after Dumbledore had ordered everyone back to the dorms."

"Why didn't you listen?"

"Why would you have to come get me?" Hermione asked. "Wouldn't I have come out at some point?"

Harry shrugged. "Ron had said...something not nice about you and you overheard it. According to Parvati, you'd been in there all afternoon crying. Actually, we locked the troll in there by accident and when we figured out it was the same bathroom you were in, we couldn't just leave you in there."

"This is sounding more and more like a Muggle fiction story, Mr. Potter."

Harry shrugged again. "You wanted to see some of my memories before I send them to the Minister. This is probably one of the least important ones that relates to Voldemort, but I figured he'd want to see this one too. And Hermione," he said, smiling. "She didn't believe me when I told her we'd fought a troll and won."

"Still not sure I do," she said, leaning over the Pensieve. Professor McGonagall stood behind her desk. "Are you coming with us?" Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head. "I'll try to extract all of the relevant ones from first year while you watch that one. I think I'll be able to do the charm without a problem now."

Hermione nodded and walked around McGonagall's desk to take her hand. Without another word to Harry, Professor McGonagall reached into the Pensieve and they were both sucked into the memory.

What seemed like a short time later, Hermione and Professor McGonagall emerged from the Pensieve and into the office, Hermione fighting a laugh and the Headmistress looking concerned.

"I never thought I'd see anything like that," Hermione said. She finally succumbed to her giggles as she plopped onto the chair next to Harry.

"Me either. In this school, no less." Professor McGonagall resumed the seat behind her desk. "It's a miracle the three of you weren't killed."

Harry nodded. "I'm sure you'll find a reason to say that about me at least once every school term." He pointed at the row of small glass vials on the desk. "I've done a few more if you want to see the rest of the important stuff from first year. The next one is when Hermione, Draco, Ron, Neville and I had detention in the forest and Voldemort came after me." He pointed to the second in the row. "This is when we discovered the trapdoor concealing the Philosopher's Stone with Fluffy guarding it."

"That beast Professor Hagrid keeps in the forest?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"What's Fluffy again?" Hermione asked.

"A giant three-headed dog."

Hermione leaned forward and grinned. "Ooh, I want to see that one."

"Perhaps we should stick to watching the ones that may help us with our quest for now. If you'd like to experience some of the less serious moments, I'm sure the weekend will suffice for that," McGonagall said.

Harry nodded his agreement. He pointed at the next vial. "This one is when Ron, Hermione and I went under the trapdoor to get the Philosopher's Stone so Quirrell couldn't steal it. It's pretty long, so you may not want to watch it tonight. The last one is after I woke up in the Hospital Wing, when Dumbledore explained to me about the Stone and a little about Voldemort. I should probably label these or put them in order or something."

"I'll do it," Hermione said. She picked up the first vial and pointed her wand at it, muttering under her breath until a small white label appeared bearing the number three and the words 'Voldemort - forest.' She replaced the vial on the desk and numbered the other three. Then she pulled the first memory from the Pensieve, put it into a vial and labeled that one.

"You've got to teach me that later," Harry said.

"No, I don't think so," Hermione responded. "You'll need to keep me around for something."

"I'm sure there's plenty I could keep you around for."

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and both students turned to her, suddenly remembering another person was in the room. "As it's almost dark, I think we'll view the next one on the list and then adjourn for the night."

"Would it be possible for me to take notes as we watch?" Hermione asked. "I'm not sure I'll be able to remember everything after seeing it one time. What does the book say about bringing objects into a Pensieve, Harry?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, Miss Granger. In the small likelihood that you forget any detail, Mr. Potter can just make an additional copy of the memory after he delivers these. The Extraction Charm he is using is not a permanent removal like the one the Minister would most likely employ." McGonagall stood and picked up the detention memory vial. "Come, Mr. Potter. This is one you'll likely need to review again as it was so long ago."

Harry stood and joined the two of them as they entered the memory, and the forest where he'd first come into contact with Voldemort after starting at Hogwarts. Two hours later, they all emerged from the Pensieve, shaken by what they'd seen.

"You-Know-Who was feeding on unicorns," Hermione said. "That's horrid. I wish I hadn't seen it."

"I should have Professor Hagrid check the forest for the same type of activity now," Professor McGonagall said. She leaned back in her chair. "I now see what you meant about how his nearness affects you."

"The feeling was similar this morning," Harry said. "Only it hurt a lot worse than I remember from first year."

"If he did initiate some type of contact with you earlier, it's possible he's living in the forest and feeding off of some of the creatures there. If Professor Hagrid finds anything suspicious, it could also indicate whether he is still without a body as you two have theorized," McGonagall said.

"He could ask the centaurs if they've seen anything unusual. A few of them are friendly enough with him that they might give him information," Harry said.

"I'll see to it in the morning. In the meantime, I suggest you two return to your common room," McGonagall said. "Stay in Gryffindor tower tonight," she said as the two students stood. "I was serious about the two of you needing adequate rest...and close supervision if necessary."

"We promise to stay put," Hermione said. "After watching all of that, I don't think I have the strength to read through the Minister's notes or look at Potions books anyway."

"Can we just leave everything here?" Harry asked.

Professor McGonagall nodded. "I'll leave the Pensieve in it's box behind my desk and I'll put the Minister's notes underneath it. You may leave your bags here as well. If I'm not here in the morning after breakfast, you may start without me."

"Good night, Professor," Harry said. Taking his hand, Hermione echoed his words and they left the Headmistress's office.

"So, what did you really think, Hermione?"

She looked at him with sad eyes as they walked. "You were right. It was a lot scarier than I thought and I couldn't even see him properly. I'm afraid to even think about your memories from the graveyard."

"You know, you don't have to watch them if you're scared," Harry said. "Professor McGonagall can watch and tell you if any of the information was helpful."

"No," Hermione said. "I'm willing to do anything to help. She and I might see different things. Besides, it helps to know you survived all of it to come here. In some ways you were lucky."

He shrugged as they neared the portrait guarding their common room. "I didn't always feel lucky. After the last week or so, I don't think much has changed."

Hermione stopped walking and drew Harry close to her, pulling his arms around her waist. She slipped her arms around his neck. "I know everything didn't work out the way you expected, but you're luckier than you may realize. You've got your mother and Raven now. You've got Professor McGonagall and the Minister giving you as much help as they can, more direct help than you got before, right?"

He nodded his agreement.

"And you've got me." She leaned up onto her toes and kissed him briefly. "I don't care what Snape or anyone else has got planned. From now on, if they want to get to you, they have to go through me."

Harry managed a small chuckle at her serious expression. "If Voldemort knew I had the great Hermione Granger on my side, he'd be right scared. Would never try anything."

"If he was smart," Hermione responded. Before he could think of some other smart aleck response, Hermione had pulled him into a goodnight kiss. He let her comfort him the best way she could at that moment and then held her for a long while before they headed into the common room and separated into their dorms.