Free Will and Fate

Lily read the emergency alert twice, her eyes brimming over with tears as the meaning of the note sunk in. She had to leave, she had to fly--no, she had to use Bathilda's Floo. Was it even connected? She couldn't remember if they'd had to get it disconnected from the Network.

Raven? She could ask Celia Abbott to stay with her for a couple of hours. It was an emergency, she would understand.

Severus? She'd go to him first. She didn't care if it was the first morning of classes, she'd have to talk to him as soon as possible. On the off chance this was true... Her mind made up, Lily ran to the next house and banged on the door until she woke her neighbor.

"Must be nice, mate."

Harry blinked and rubbed at his eyes in the bright sunlight. He reached for his glasses from the bedside table and sat up, realizing he'd slept in his clothes from the past several days. Ron stood near the foot of his bed, chuckling and straightening the maroon and gold tie that completed his school uniform.

"Hmm? What?"

"I said, it must be nice," Ron repeated. Another boy snickered. Harry turned to see Seamus headed out. Ron motioned to the plate on Harry's nightstand and the general state of his part of the room. "Bedside meals and love notes from your girlfriend." He drawled the last word out in a light sing-song voice. "We should all be so lucky."

That answered any question Harry might have had about his friend having feelings for Hermione in this life. He sat up abruptly and looked down at the bed. He'd fallen asleep most of the way through reading the substantial number of letters Hermione had written him over the summer. Some mentioned how glad Hermione was that Lily liked her--Harry hadn't been able to stop himself grinning every time he'd read "your mum" referenced in the present tense. His girlfriend of two years was being treated practically as a daughter. Some were about how difficult this year would be with the changes in their classes. Harry was tempted to warn Hermione about the reality of that, he was already dreading Double Potions with Snape. He really had to get back to the right date.

Most of the letters contained intense discussions about their relationship, with references to "taking things on" and "experiencing new things together." Harry blushed as he realized his best friend would probably have a very good idea what was contained in those letters. Especially with Harry sleeping with perfume scented notes all over the bed. He was surprised the laughter from his roommates hadn't woken him sooner.

"I've got my share of problems too," he said, thinking of his missing present-day self and, unwittingly, of Voldemort and the portion of the prophecy he'd heard.

Ron chuckled again, shouldering his backpack as he prepared to head to breakfast. "Sure. Mum's a saint and Dad's a hero--I don't know how it could get any worse for you." He rolled his light blue eyes good-naturedly and left Harry alone with his thoughts.

A saint? A hero? A brilliant thought occurred to Harry. He grinned as he swung himself out of bed, in spite of the weight of two days fatigue pressing down on him. Had his parents lived--because of what he'd done--to defeat Voldemort? The near-miracle rationality of the thought followed him as he bathed and changed, slipping into school robes casually as he expected to return to school today--at the end of the school year.

After Cedric's death and the ritual and fight in the graveyard, Dumbledore had told him it was impossible to bring back the dead. Priori Incantatem might not be able to do it, but there was no magical law that stated preventing a death could not happen. As closely guarded as Time-Turners were, Harry doubted anyone save himself had done it. Even if the Ministry, the Wizengamot in particular, came down on him with every punishment they had, he was sure this future was worth it. Especially if Harry's saving his parents had resulted in saving the lives--Wizard and Muggle--of every person Voldemort and his followers would have killed.

Feeling refreshed in spite of the few hours of sleep he'd gotten, Harry rounded the corner to the Headmaster's office. He preferred to fix his time issue--he snorted softly at the inanity of the term as it came to him--rather than go to breakfast. When he finally saw his parents, he wanted everything to be right.

A flash of long red hair and deep magenta robes appeared at the end of the hall. Harry marked it absently as he walked, barely focusing even as the person turned. A detached interest flitted through his mind briefly before he stopped walking, staring before him in stupefied wonder. For the second time in as many days, the breath arrested in his lungs. He stopped walking, staring dumbly as the person too noticed him and ran down the hall in a frenzy, hair streaming behind her. "Mum?" he managed to croak out just before she reached him. She pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, as surprised as he that his eyes had teared up a bit.

"Harry," Lily said, her warm breath ruffling his hair. "I was so worried when I received that Owl this morning." She punctuated this with another squeeze. "I came as soon as I could to check on you." She leaned back and studied his face; it was blank with the shock and unbelieving joy of seeing the woman who'd given him life in the flesh.

"Are you all right?" She ruffled his already messy hair and her brilliant green eyes came to rest upon his forehead. "Were you in a fight?" she asked quickly. "You have a scar. You should have Madam Pomfrey take a look at it. Or someone at St. Mungo's." A small light seemed to dawn in her eyes and she gazed down at her son, who had just barely composed himself.

Harry realized with a pang that it was his mother's eyes that had been staring back at him in the mirror every morning of his life. It had never struck him before how difficult, how intense it must've been for anyone who'd known and loved her to see how much their eyes were alike. He smiled as she slipped an arm loosely around his shoulder.

"I know we had a bit of a row yesterday, but I had hoped you wouldn't be upset with me still. I hope you didn't do anything reckless that got you sent to the hospital this morning."

Confusion marred Harry's features, pushing back the dozens of questions that popped into his head on first sight of his mother. "But, I wasn't in the hospital. I've been..." He stopped, wondering if that was where his missing counterpart had been while he'd been asleep in the Gryffindor dormitory.

"It's no matter now, I'm just glad you're here at school. Safe," Lily added, pulling him into another hug, much lighter than her previous hugs as she had relaxed considerably.

"How--how far did you have to come?" And can I come spend the day with you instead of traveling through time again? That can wait, he thought. "I hate to think you were in the middle of something important." But nothing is more important than being with you now, he wanted to say out loud. He couldn't, knowing he'd possibly alarm her again.

A light touch ruffled his hair again. "Bathilda hadn't even awoken when I left and Raven just said she'd finish breakfast while I make sure her big brother is okay." She tilted his head up to hers then, and gazed deeply into the eyes that were so much like her own. Harry noticed with a small smile that she looked barely older than the photographs he'd seen of her, a few small crinkles around her eyes the only signs that she could possibly be old enough to have a teenage son. And a daughter.

"You are okay, Harry? I know you're unhappy about some of the changes, but..." She stopped, rethinking her words. "I think we'll talk things over again this weekend," Lily said with some finality. "Are you ready for classes? Fifth year will be an important year for you. You'll have to work hard to prepare for your O.W.L.s."

Harry smiled, suddenly realizing why his mother and Hermione got on so well. They were very much alike. Fussing over his health in one breath and scrutinizing his studies in the next. It was a wonder he and Hermione hadn't gotten together sooner. Eyes widening at the sudden intrusive thought, Harry blinked rapidly and nodded. "I'm sure classes will be fine. I'm more than ready," he said. Particularly since I've already done all the work, he thought.

"Where's Dad?" Of all the questions he could have asked, this one seemed most important at the moment--seeing the man that had made Remus Lupin and Sirius Black want to protect both Harry and his parents with their lives.

Lily grinned and blinked rapidly as she answered her son. "Harry, he'll be so glad to hear you've finally decided to call him that."

Before he could ask what she meant, movement from down the hall caught Lily's attention and she wiped at her eyes quickly with the sleeve of her robe, dashing away all signs of her runaway emotions as the newcomer approached.

"Sev, we were just talking about you." Harry looked over his shoulder as Severus Snape approached him and his mother in the hall, a small smile playing over his thin lips. Harry's eyes widened as Lily opened her arms to him and enveloped him in a small hug before leaning up and placing her lips over his in a tender kiss. Harry turned his head quickly, choking back the bile that had suddenly risen in the back of his throat. Hell couldn't be much worse than this, hr thought.

Snape turned to survey the teenager with narrowed eyes. "I didn't expect to see you here," he said in his lilting, condescending tone. "What, pray, were my wife and son discussing?" He put special inflection on the reference to Harry, the corners of his mouth lifting almost imperceptibly as the word had the expected impact.

Harry's eyes widened at the reference. He was instantly dizzy as the blood drained from his head in a resounding rush, thundering past his ears as he let the information sink in. His mother was married to that... Harry couldn't think of a word horrible enough to describe the man in front of him, smirking as he put his arm casually around Lily's shoulder.

My sister, is she their child together? Thoughts of how that had to have happened entered Harry's conscious mind and he wanted to scream from the horror of it. He lowered his eyes from the two people standing in front of him, blinking away the sudden moisture blurring his vision, whether from profound sadness or sudden, blinding hatred he could not tell. Where was James Potter in all this?

"Well, Harry? Aren't you going to tell him?" Lily implored.

Her voice sounded positive enough, but when Harry looked into her eyes again, he could see the naked fear his mother was trying to mask. Was she afraid of her husband or son? She'd said they'd had a fight, but he'd assumed it was just an argument. To hear Hermione tell it, he'd spent the better part of his fifth year at Hogwarts angry at the world, so he could understand if the typical troubles of a teenager had caused him to have a disagreement with his mother. What he could not comprehend--flat-out refused to accept--is that his mother could have a genuine fear of him. He could never hurt her in any way.

The only logical reason for her seeming fearful was standing next to her, the malicious villain who seemed to delight in torturing Harry even more than he enjoyed undermining and belittling his friends. It was no wonder Harry couldn't bring himself to call the man Dad, as Lily had mentioned. If their life at school was any indication, Lily was lucky her son hadn't killed his...stepfather. Even thinking the word made the nausea rise up again, threatening to force Harry to betray his true thoughts in front of his already worried mother. His scar tingled faintly. He swallowed hard and tried to make his voice sound normal.

"I--it was nothing, really. I just wondered if it would be possible for me to talk to Dumbledore. Before classes," Harry added at his mother's surprised look.

Snape's simpering smile grew wider. "Suffice it to say, while you think you are quite important, I'm sure even the Minister of Magic would require you to make an appointment rather than barge into his office on the first morning of the work week."

"Why would you need to talk to him, Harry?"

Harry ignored his mother, his thoughts racing. Dumbledore is Minister of Magic? That explained why he hadn't been on the map during the feast the night before. Brilliant, he thought. Harry could be out of the school and back at the right time in a matter of minutes once he'd gotten in to speak with him. And, contrary to what Snape thought, Harry would be able to do just that.

"I just...I had some things I wanted to discuss," he said. "It can keep."

Snape seemed on the verge of commenting, but stopped as Lily turned to him. "I think I'll go back to Godric's Hollow. Celia can't stay with them for long and I think Bathilda has an appointment later."

"Why would you leave in the first place? I thought you told me her care was of the utmost importance to you?" Snape's voice left no question as to the unpleasantness of the subject they discussed, made even more awkward as Harry stood there rapt, refusing to move from his mother's side until she left the school grounds.

"I--" Lily's gaze diverted to Harry for a moment. "I had received an urgent Owl this morning saying that someone had been found and taken to the hospital. The nurse who sent the notice seemed absolutely sure it was Harry."

"You came by to see if I had let him come to harm?" Snape asked, his voice low.

"N-no," Lily sputtered. "I came to see if you would accompany me to the hospital in case it was true." She glanced at her son again and smiled faintly, though, again, it did not reach her eyes. "He's fine, so I'm going back. Will you let me into the Headmistress's office again? If you feel that Minerva wouldn't mind, that is. I came in that way earlier because it was an emergency, but..."

"I'm sure she wouldn't dream of you using one of the student Floos. The password is fiducia," Snape said. "Shall I expect you for lunch Saturday?"

Lily moved her lips upwards in a tremulous ghost of a smile. "If I can, I'll come a bit earlier. I had hoped to spend part of the afternoon with Harry and Hermione," she said. "If that's all right with you?" she asked. She smiled at Harry's acquiescing nod. Moving a couple of steps, she enfolded Harry in another hug, ruffling his hair as she pulled back. "Have a great week, Hon. I'll try to bring Raven with me, if I can. She misses you already."

Harry, not trusting himself to speak, merely squeezed his mother again and mirrored her false smile, disappointed that he hadn't done or said more as she returned the way she had come in, slipping into the Headmaster's office as easily as he had done in his years at the school. Before he could think of what he would do next, a hand grabbed him roughly by the front of his robes and slammed him into the closest wall.

"What--?" The tip of Snape's wand under his chin stopped Harry in mid-question.

"How did you manage it?" He paused. "I don't suppose I should feign surprise. Vermin are notoriously difficult to deal with," Snape began, his foul breath filling Harry's face in a hot rush. Snape's eyes connected with his and Harry felt a sharp pain behind his eyes. Harry quickly imagined pushing Snape backwards, forcing his presence from his mind until a virtual door slammed in his face. Snape recoiled briefly at the action before renewing his hold on Harry's clothes, grinding Harry's shoulder blades against the stone wall behind him.

"I see you've learned a new trick. I suggest you tread carefully, Potter. Going to the Ministry would not be in the best interest of your health. You would do well to stay out of my way." At that, he released his grip on Harry and stood back from the wall, seeming to realize he could be spotted at any moment if a student or teacher came into the vicinity.

"You had better keep up appearances." He motioned to Harry's robes. "Get yourself straightened out, don your Prefect's badge, attend your classes and stay in line." His eyes narrowed again and his voice lowered as if he were afraid of being overheard in the empty hall. "I'll be keeping an eye on you. Don't give me cause to... take a close interest in your activities."

Snape turned and walked briskly down the hall, his black robes flapping and billowing behind him, leaving Harry to stand gaping, curious, confused, scared--fearing that the reason he--the Harry who was supposed to be at present-day Hogwarts--had never made it to school was because there had been a murder attempt. By the man currently married to his mother. Blood chilled, he closed his eyes and resigned himself to his task. He had to find out the truth, before it was too late and he--both versions of his life--ceased to exist.