What Matters Most

Neville lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling. He had been so intent on not thinking about anything at all that he had lost track of time long ago. There was a faint knock on the door.

"Neville?" He didn't answer, didn't move is eyes away from the shadows playing across the ceiling. The door opened slightly. An attractive looking woman with long auburn hair and brown eyes entered the room.

"Neville, won't you come eat? Your grandmother is worried about you." She approached the bed quietly when she still received no answer. "Neville?"

Reluctantly he moved his gaze from the ceiling onto her. "I'm glad..." he said suddenly in a flat and emotionless tone. "I'm glad it's finally over. I only wish that father could have gone with her."

She stiffened as the words sliced through her. She had thought she would find him crying. He had always been an emotional child, but she had never expected to find him like this, so cold and detached. She looked into those usually soft and questioning brown eyes and saw only hardness and unmistakable pain. She nodded and sat on the edge of his bed.

Deep down she felt the same way. The woman they had buried earlier that day had not been the sister she had known as a girl. The real Nan had died the night Death Eaters had driven her insane, leaving only a hollow shell behind. Part of her was relieved that the woman's suffering was over.

"You think that's horrible, don't you?" He continued in the same flat voice. "But it's not, not really. I never knew mum the way you did. I can't remember anything about her before..."

"She loved you very much." She said the words quickly, almost as if she couldn't get them out fast enough. Anything to stop him from talking in that hard voice that made her shiver. She knew that voice only too well, had heard herself use it when her husband had been killed. That voice meant the boy was on the edge of losing hope, and she couldn't let him do that. He shook his head and turned away from her. She reached out and touched his shoulder but he jerked away.

Wendy felt the anger wash over her in waves. The boy was right. He had never known his parents for the wonderful people they had been. Neville had only been a year old when Frank and Nan had been driven insane by Death Eaters using the Cruciatus curse to extract information about Voldemort's whereabouts. His memories of his mother would forever be of the shell that had merely existed in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries for the last fourteen years. The urgency in her own voice surprised her when she spoke again.

"Neville, listen to me. No matter what, you have to know this. Your parents loved you very much. You are right, you never knew them the way I did, but don't you ever doubt their love for you." Neville turned to face her again. The hardness in his eyes was gone, but the pain remained. "Never doubt that."

"They wouldn't love me if they knew what I've become. I'm a complete and utter failure, Aunt Wendy." She began to protest but he stopped her with the earnestness in his voice and she knew he had to get this out. "I'm a laughingstock at school. I'm horrible at my studies, I haven't done a thing but loose points for my house since first year, and I don't have any friends, not really. I mean everyone kind of just puts up with me. I'm glad that they can't see who I am."

"That's not who you are." She said in a tone that didn't leave room for argument. "You are just like your mother. She never knew her worth until she met your father. I didn't help her either. It wasn't easy being twin sisters, you know? We were identical but complete opposites. Everything came so easy for me, friends, school, boyfriends. I never had to struggle through my lessons the way Nan did or have to worry about being shy. I thought we looked the same, but that inside I was better than her, smarter. I looked down on her and put her in her place whenever I could, and then one day, she put me in mine."

Neville was listening intently. "When we graduated I went on to Auror College. Your mother put off her dream of opening her own shop specializing in herbal medications to take care of our aging parents. Herbology was the one thing she seemed to excel at in school, and the one thing she loved, but she loved her family more. I thought she was foolish, but gladly let her give up her dream so I could follow mine. Divination had always been a gift of mine and I thought that I could put it to the best use as an Auror. When I met your father I had a vision in which I saw us getting married. I had so much faith in my skills as a divinator that I never had the slightest doubt that I was to marry Frank. He was two years my senior and the bravest, gentlest and most intelligent man I had ever met. We had been going together for a couple of months before I brought him home to meet my family. What can I say? Your mother stole Frank's heart without even trying."

She paused. Neville said nothing but indicated that she should continue with a nod of his head. His eyes were wide, and she knew this was probably the most anyone had ever told him about his parents. "All my life I had thought that your mother was foolish, that I was better because I had gotten better grades and had made more friends. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was your mother's heart, her determination and love for others, that made Frank love her in a way that he was never meant to love me. Your mother and I looked exactly the same then and I easily mistook her for me in my vision. Things aren't always what they seem in Divination. It took me a long time to realize that when given the choice of all heart or all smarts, your father had chosen your mother who had more heart than anyone I've ever known. When I finally admitted this to myself, I also realized that your mother had always been better than me in what really mattered, love."

She looked up from the bedspread, which she had been smoothing out with her hand as she talked. Neville was regarding her with total and absolute amazement. "Everyone loved Frank and Nan, because they loved everyone. With Frank behind her, Nan finally opened her shop and quickly became successful. Frank became one of the best and most accomplished Aurors of our generation and was respected by everyone. But the one thing they were most proud of, the one thing they loved more than anything or anyone, was you. So don't you ever say you are a failure, Neville Longbottom. You have Nan's heart and determination, Frank's courage and intelligence and most importantly you have their love. You can do anything you put your mind to. You just have to believe in yourself and know that you have inside you everything you will ever need. I know it hurts. I know it feels like you are losing her for a second time, but the kind of love Nan gives, you can't ever lose. So enough of this, stop feeling sorry for yourself and come give me a hug. I have to be going now."

She stood up smoothing down the dress she wore awkwardly. He got up silently and hugged her. She hugged back and finally she was the one that made them separate.

"Now, come downstairs and talk to your grandmother for a while. She loved your mother very much and needs you to help her through this. See past your own pain and help another, it's what your mother would have wanted."

She turned to leave, but the softness in his voice made her freeze. "Aunt Wendy?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, for telling me about her, about them."

She nodded, and walked out of the room quickly before she couldn't fight the tears back anymore. In the safety of the hallway she paused on last time outside his door, her worlds her words barely a whisper before walking down the stairs. "No, thank you, Neville."