Tell Me How You Really Feel

 Tell Me How You Really Feel

Chapter 1: Totally Completely Obnoxious

It was one of those days, you know? The ones where anything and everything that could possibly irritate you...does. The ones where you’re not sure if you want to zone out and drink a cup of unbelievably strong tea, or rip your gorgeous hair out and scream at the top of your perfect lungs.

People can be so incredibly obnoxious, so incredibly ridiculous it’s brain boggling. The capacity of the human cranium must be getting smaller and smaller as time goes on...either that or just filled to the brink with nonsense. The enormous amounts of stupidity that can be contained in a single room is utterly fascinating to me.

I often have to question my own sanity, it is absolutely necessary. What other reason is there than to be completely off the rocker for me to live the life I live? Growing up, I had a plethora of options, all with giant neon signs with arrows pointing to “Perfect”. So then why the hell am I here, on my own, living the life no one expected me to live? I chose it. I actually chose this life.

Days like this are plentiful, I am surrounded every single freaking day of my life by the people I grew up hating the most out of all the world. Want to know a secret? I fucking love it. It’s honestly the only thing that keeps me living, the only thing that gives my life purpose. Take a chew on that one.

Our fights are like World War III, our tempers are worse than that of the fiercest Lion. We spent the first five years together wishing death on one another, but now...I have the oddest, most unexplainable connection with these people. I still take pleasure in seeing them squirm and watching their blood boil, but it’s with a hint of humor and fondness. It’s not like they don’t do it back...our prank wars are unbeatable, and our all nighters are the only possible way to go.

Of coarse as I said, their stupidity infuriates me at times and it simply fascinates me how quickly we can jump down each others throats. I will not deny that I am positive they feel exactly the same way...I am no angel, I am not the easiest person to get along with or even like for that matter. If you choose to love me, love me for me. I’m the best, I know it, I’ll tell you, just ask me. I don’t care what you think of me, because I know myself, and I like who I am, who I have become. I changed the important parts in my life that needed changing, and I left the rest the way it was.

I am Draco Malfoy.

Tell Me How You Really Feel

Chapter 2: Insane Crazy

Let me just start off by saying that the male race is absolutely without a doubt the most infuriating species on the face of the earth! Okay, so, with that out of the way . . . today was terrible. Today was awful. Today was wonderful and amazing. I could never pick just one. At some points I feel the need to declare how light my heart feels, and ten milliseconds later I get the urge to scream and punch something, or more like someone.

The way he makes me feel itches at me. When he looks at me, I feel like scum, but the most beautiful scum in the world. Beautiful scum? Beautiful scum? You simply cannot have beautiful scum. I see it burning in the depths of his icy retina’s. Retina . . . what an odd word. See what he does to me? He makes me use crazy words. Why, why, tell me why.

I try to make it through the day without thinking of him. His crude, smug attitude. He loves to piss us off. He loves to hate us, but I can see it in him, deep inside, he loves to love us. In the end, no matter how badly we fight, in more ways than the one, we always end up having the best time. Can someone please just sort this out for me? I wish I could calm my brain for like ten minutes, just to be able to really know what I feel, what I think.

I’m afraid to be by him without the others. I’m afraid to look him in the eyes and have him be gazing back at me. I am afraid because of the way it makes me feel. My stomach clenches up in nots and I get this feeling where I need to scream . . . but I can’t. When I am with him, I hate him and love him and want him. When I am away, I need him and pity him and yearn for him. How can I despise him as much as I do and still be fascinated by the person he his?

His cocky attitude, like he is God’s gift to the world, like he is the epitome of perfection. He sets up these barriers that he wants you to break. I know that deep inside the very pit of his soul he wants to be found. He hides away in the blackest part of his insides waiting for someone to save him. He would never admit it of coarse, he insists that we are a pain in his royal behind, that we infuriate him to no end. I don’t doubt it of coarse, when I want something I get it, and often enough I want to see the effect I have on him. I want to understand him. He is the key to my self discovery.

Why do I even care? In the end it all leads to disappointment. I’m obsessed with trying to understand him, or at least how I feel about him, but what does it matter, he hates me. He hates me in that bittersweet way, the one we all feel, where it would never be the same if the other wasn’t around, but we might not care. I think we are all just afraid to find out. Boys suck, why do I even think about them? I guess it’s just who I am, you gotta be in love with my craziness, it’s just me. Me, me, me.

I am Ginny Weasley.