Love To The Loveless Shown

Chapter IV

It hadn´t taken much for Remus to pursuade James to let him borrow his Invisibility cloak. The black-haired boy had already seen Lily that night, had already sneaked out of Gryffindor Tower and had met her in a disused classroom.

`Why do you want it Remy? And where´s Sirius? He tends to be up for these midnight gallivants around the school.´

Lupin muttered something, but James let his non-committal go. He was still glowing from the feeling of his flame-haired goddess´ lips on his, the feel of her hands caressing the nape of his neck. He was surrounded by a bubble of joy, and nothing else, not even the obvious fact that his two best friends had fought, could possibly penetrate this.

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It felt weird being invisible, thought Remus as he wandered towards the hospital wing, it felt very weird indeed. Although he had often hidden under the cloak on the Marauder´s night-time rambles, he had never really accepted the fact that no one could see him. Remus put this down to his heightened werewolf senses; even if James was completely obscured by the handy garment, there was still something that could allow him to `see´ his friend. No one could be completely hidden if Lupin was around, which annoyed his friends - they could not play practical jokes on him, which grieved Sirius and James greatly.

He also couldn´t believe he was doing this - he was going to apologise to Snape for Sirius´ behaviour. For the first time in their history at the school, a Marauder was going to admit that they had done something wrong to the Slytherin. Remus was wondering how he would take it.

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Remus and Sirius had not been speaking since the latter had flipped and screeched what he considered home truths at his werewolf friend; this was relatively unheard of within their close group. Those outside their immediate friends were unaware of what had occurred in their tower bedroom, but the tension had got to most of students. Especially as `conversations´ tended to be more along the lines of:-

Remus - Sirius....

Sirius (reading a book) - Fuck off

Remus - For Christ´s sake, Sirius

Sirius - Fuck OFF!

Remus - Look, this is just childish...

Sirius - I said FUCK OFF Wolfboy! Leave me alone until you apologise for what you did.

Remus - For what I did? You were the one who half-blinded one of our schoolmates and gave him chronic eczema!

Sirius - Why are so worried about SNAPE of all people!

Remus - Because of what could have happened to you

Sirius - Well, it didn´t, did it. I´m still here, so can you cut the crap okay? Is that just a little too hard for you to do, huh? Going on and on and on about poor little defenceless Snape and how could you do that, you beast, and reminding me that I could be chucked out and how could I forget that!

Remus - Oh, forget it! I´ll never get it through that thick skull of yours, will I?

Sirius - You can call me thick and I know it´s wrong. I can call you humourless and you can´t refute that

Remus - ...

Sirius - See. Lost for words now, Lupin. Go and play with your new little friend and leave me alone in peace and quiet.

(Lupin storms out, robes swirling almost in sympathy with his mood. Sirius looks at his book, realises he has been reading upside down for the past few minutes, and shuts it with an exaggerated sigh. It is only then he realises that everyone in Gryffindor has been listening intently to their argument, but are now trying to pretend they weren´t.)

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Lupin paced silently along the monochromatic corridor that led to the hospital wing, dappled in silver and starlight. His sensitive nostrils were detecting an unpleasant scent of disinfectant and the strange and mystical substances that were part of the school´s medicine cabinet. There was also a slight smell of coal tar. He hated hospitals with a passion he reserved usually for the love of his family and his own need to remain sane within the form that he took every full moon. They reminded him of a small child slathered in blood, screaming out for his parents and morphine, terrified into convulsions of the *thing* that bit him and even more scared of the tall, serious-looking wizards who talked about things like `registration´ and even `destruction.´ He may have been young when he was turned, but he was an intelligent lad, and he knew what they meant. Conformation and public acknowledgement of his condition, thus bringing shame and ridicule on his family, or the neat removal from existence of the boy named R.J.Lupin. His parents chose the former, chose the frustration and agony and pain of their son´s affliction, chose to cherish and accept the child who brought so much suffering to them, and he, in turn, adored them.

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Pressing his ear and checking through the solid wood that there were no clicking foot-steps from the heels of the rather intimidating matron, he opened the heavy door just enough to squeeze through without removing the invisibility cloak, and slipped inside.

The smell hit him even more powerfully and Remus felt a wave of nausea churn his stomach. He had not been in a hospital since he was attacked - his werewolf status had come equipped with quick healing powers, but the memories still drifted around his discontented mind.

Here too was moon and darkness, and even with the cloak wrapped securely around him he, by nature, stayed well protected by the welcoming shadows. Bare feet trod lightly on the cold stone but Lupin was unaware of the iciness creeping up his legs. He was trying to compose what he was going to say to Snape rather than worry about freezing to death.