Of Snogging and Sleep

SWISH!

BA-BUMP!

SWISH!

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SWISH!

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SWISH--

"Finnigan, what the hell are you DOING?"

BA-BUMP!

"Good heavens, Dean, such language..." Seamus grinned and pulled aside Dean's bed curtains. The black boy was sitting up, covers pooled around his middle, eyes rimmed red with exhaustion. "I was practicing Levitation...it's great fun. Your dresser lifted a good four feet off the floor."

"...Why, might I ask, are you doing this in the middle of the night?" Dean said in a deceptively calm voice.

"Boredom, my friend, boredom."

"You are such an inconsiderate--"

"Wha--wha goin' on? Mmm, 'Arry..." A moan, then a snore.

Seamus and Dean both stared at Ron Weasley's closed bed curtains with mild interest, before returning to their own conversation.

"There's nothing to dooooo, Dean!"

"How about, oh, I don't know...sleep?"

"Insomnia."

"Oh, for Christ's sake..."

"Four feet though, Dean, isn't that awesome--?"

"No. No, it's not." Dean rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Can't you do something more QUIET to entertain yourself?"

"...Not by myself, I can't," Seamus said thoughtfully.

Dean laughed shortly. "What's running through that demented mind of yours NOW?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing!"

"Yes, something, something. Tell me."

"Dunno. You might freak out and wake up our dear roommates."

"Come off it. Harry's too exhausted lately to care what any one of us does."

"Ah, yes, the price of being a hero."

"And Ron and Neville can sleep through an earthquake...as shown by your earlier performance."

"Heh. Heh heh heh. Let's see how loud we have to be before we wake them up."

"...I hope that wasn't your original idea."

"No, just a thought."

"Forget it."

"All right, all right." Seamus rolled his eyes and sat on Dean's bed, crossing his legs. "You're such a prick."

"You know it."

"Let's snog."

It took a moment for this to register. Then, "What're you on about, Seamus?"

"Well..." Seamus shrugged. "It's something relatively quiet that'll keep me entertained."

Dean coughed in embarrassment, thankful for the near darkness that hid his blush.

"What? You don't think it's a good idea, Dean?"

"Oh sure, I snog my friends on a regular basis," Dean said sarcastically.

Seamus pouted. "If I was a GIRL you'd do it."

Dean gave him an offended look. "I would not."

"Would too."

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Why would I ever even consider snogging you? No, don't answer. I wouldn't. There's just no way in hell."

"You don't think I'm sexy, then."

"That's not it--"

"So you do? You think I'm sexy?" The Irish boy stared up flirtatiously through almost ridiculously long eyelashes. "Do I make you horny?"

"N-no!" Dean sputtered, trying, in vain, to regain his composure.

"Sure? I know another quiet way to pass the time." Without waiting for a retort, Seamus plowed on. "You could draw me."

"Draw you? You can't sit still long enough."

"Draw me naked, and I can."

"..."

"No, really, I'm serious, just let me--" Seamus began pulling his nightshirt over his head.

"No!" Dean put a restraining hand on his best friend's arm, knowing his cheeks were glowing red. This was NOT what he needed. Seamus had pulled some odd stunts before, but this was one of the oddest. "I do NOT do portraits of naked boys. Or," he added, seeing Seamus's discontented pout, "Of naked people in general."

"Well, I guess it's back to Plan A: snogging. Yay!" Seamus tackled Dean and the two of them fell back upon the latter's pillows. Dean struggled valiantly, and by virtue of being taller than Seamus, managed to reverse their rolls so that Seamus was beneath him, effectively pinned in place.

"What's with the interest in snogging all of a sudden?"

"I dunno." Seamus smiled cheekily. "Boredom can warp a body's mind, you know."

"Answer not satisfactory."

"Eh. You have to admit, it'd be interesting. For us to kiss, I mean."

"How so?"

"I mean, have YOU ever snogged anyone before?"

"Well, no," admitted Dean.

"Way I figure it," Seamus continued, managing to look almost serious, "with old You-Know-Who popping up every year since Harry arrived...We gotta live for the moment. Carpe diem, and all that."

"Yeah, I guess."

"So we need to get snogging out of the way, right?"

"...You're trying to manipulate me, aren't you, Finnigan. Let me tell you--it's not working."

"Damn. I guess I'll just have to force you."

"Force me?" This prompted a disbelieving chuckle from Dean. "How're you going to manage that? I'm bigger than you."

"In how many ways, Dean?"

"...Don't say things like that."

"Heh heh heh. I think you'd enjoy snogging me."

"Right. Whatever you say."

"Otherwise, you wouldn't be in your current position..." Seamus winked and wiggled a bit beneath Dean, who paled and rolled off of the other boy.

"C'mon, Seamus, you're only doing this to bug me--"

"--To ENTERTAIN myself."

"Can't you go and snog someone ELSE?"

"Everyone else is asleep."

"Like we should be..."

"I told you, I CAN'T sleep. I'm too...well, awake."

"You have GOT to lower your caffeine intake."

"Enough talking, more snogging."

"But--" Dean stopped talking then, mainly because his mouth was busy being thoroughly kissed. He felt Seamus's legs holding his own down, and he tried to flail about, but found he couldn't; surprisingly strong arms held him in place.

He managed, however, to free his lips long enough to say, "Seamus--" before being captured again in a merciless lip lock. A rather useless thing to say, really, but his mind was decidedly out to lunch at the moment.

They broke apart when they heard a voice. They both stared wide-eyed at Ron's bed, where suspicious moans were floating through the red curtains. After a moment or two, they stopped. Seamus and Dean blinked.

"So..." Seamus grinned sheepishly and rubbed his nose. "Wanna make like bunnies and--"

"Seamus?"

"Huh?"

"If I say I don't want you to kiss me again, will you break down in heartbroken tears and become hopelessly depressed and contemplate suicide all while watching me with cow eyes for the greater part of a week until I come to my senses and fall in love with you?" Dean managed to say in one breath.

A smile from Seamus. "Yup."

"Oh. Well." Dean sighed. He was going to regret this. "In that case, I want you, baby, take me, take me please," he deadpanned.

"Now, Dean, that wasn't very convincing. I'm hurt." Clutching his heart, Seamus fell off the side of the bed in a fit of false sorrow.

"Oh, really, Seamus..." Dean rolled his eyes and helped Seamus back onto the bed. "Can't you be serious for a moment?"

"No. You're not being very serious either, Mr. Thomas."

"...Fine."

"Fine, what?"

"Fine, you can get on with it."

"On with..." Seamus wrinkled his nose in thought. "What?"

"Snogging."

"Oh, I'm bored with that, now. Let's do something more exciting. More dangerous. More...kinky."

Dean calmly crawled back underneath his covers. He yawned. "Go to bed, Seamus. You don't even have to sleep. Just get into bed and let the rest of us enjoy our much needed rest."

"...Okay, Dean."

Dean listened as Seamus tiptoed across the room to his own bed; listened as sheets were pulled back; listened to the squirming sounds that accompanied his best friend's settling in. Finally, he was sure it was safe to relax. He was just drifting off, when--

SWISH!

BA-BUMP!

"SEAMUS FINNIGAN!"