The Shadows of His Past

"Cedric Diggory."

"Riddukulus!" cried Harry, waving his wand about desperately trying to ward off the approaching boggart. "No, it-it´s not true I-I`m...sorry" His wand fell from his hands. No...No... He shut his eyes. He was on his knees. He reached out and felt a cold clamminess envelop him like a Dementor...he heard screaming...

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" He opened his eyes. All was silent.

Professor Evaline cleared her throat and gave Harry a strange look, "Who next?"

Ron pushed Hermione forward- she grinned back at him in a bemused sort of way. A self-confident smile was evident on her face and she strode forward, pulling out her wand...

"The Dark Mark!" someone cried. Neville fainted.

Harry´s mind drifted to that day at the Quidditch World Cup...she certainly hadn´t seemed as afraid of it then. But now, she was backing away from the hovering symbol. She raised her wand, which was shaking in her sweaty grasp, and stammered, "Ri- Ri- dikku-ku-lus." Nothing happened. The fact that she failed seemed to destroy any resolve she had built up.

She heard Hagrid´s voice echo in her head, An´ they haven´t invented a spell our Hermione can´ do, she remembered how she had flushed with pride, but now the words seemed to her meaningless- empty. And she felt so unworthy of his glowing praise; as warm tears coursed down her cheeks and glowing skull shed its aberrant light around the darkness of the corridor. The last vestige of comfort and protection from the outside world had disappeared. She had failed.

****

"Ron, wake up!" whispered Harry; shaking Ron roughly by his striped paisley pajamas. Ron snored. Losing all patience, Harry pulled off his blankets and began beating him with his pillow. He stopped; the room was silent with the occasional snore. Apparently, his fellow Gryffindors were just as heavy sleepers as Ron. He poked Ron with his wand.

"What´s going on, Harry? S´all dark..." groaned Ron finally awakening. He staggered out of bed, rubbing his eyes repeatedly. The second he had regained his balance, Harry pushed him down the dormitory steps, in the direction of the Gryffindor Common Room. "Wha-"

Harry´s voice was urgent, "Look in the Common Room, what d´you see? In front of the fireplace?"

"Not this again." Ron sighed, remembering a similar midnight awakening in third year. When he saw Harry`s impatient glare; however, he muttered something barely coherent. "Look´s like Hermione- s´late, she´s probably studying...er..." He blinked twice at the standing figure, "...something. I`m going back to-"
"Quick, she`s coming! Let`s go!" hissed Harry dragging a sleepy Ron behind a nearby stone pillar.

"Great idea, I was just going to s´gest that-," muttered Ron, his voice slurred from tiredness.

Hermione tied her fluffy pink bathrobe around her closer and shivered as she trudged back to her dormitory. She sighed and ran her fingers through her bushy hair before sliding quietly into her dormitory on slippered feet.

Harry dragged Ron across the deserted Common Room and carefully used a poker to rummage through the ashes. And then he spotted it- a small piece of parchment with several charred bits written in a peculiar shade of green ink.

"Don´t you think Hermione has been a bit off color, recently?"

There was no response. Ron had fallen asleep again.

***

"I heard you moving around, late last night. What were you doing, Hermione?"

Hermione looked startled, like someone awakened out of a daydream. "I had to do that stupid Potions essay," she said it with such austerity and a lack of conviction, as though she spoke carelessly.

"And then burn it in the fireplace?"

Her mouth dropped in shock as she felt the outrage well up inside her, How dare they spy on me? "You were-"

"Hermione, we´re your best friends you know, you ought to tell us what´s going on," reasoned Harry.

Ron approached the table and put a comforting arm on her shoulder. "Listen Herm-"

She dropped her unused fork down with a clatter, "I have to finish that essay. Bye." Shrugging off his arm, she picked up her things and began taking sanctuary in the library.

Ron slid into the now empty seat next to Harry, "So, did you figure out what´s up with Hermione?"

"All she said was that she had to finish her Potions essay-"

Ron interrupted, "That sounds like Hermione, you know, always has to be at the top..."

The rest of the Gryffindor table, who was listening, was quick to agree. Adding offhand comments like, "Yeah, I knew it would get to her in the end." or "Maybe she´s just tired from all the work."

"That´s because none of you ever notice anything!" yelled Harry angrily, quickly quieting the chattering table. The Gryffindors quickly quieted down and stared at Harry.

"Listen Harry-" Ginny began.

"No!" Harry shouted. Silence. He lowered his voice slightly and leaned forward, "Don´t you see what´s happening to her?"

"Why don`t we go over to the library and offer to help her with her Potions essay after dinner?" suggested Ron casually, beginning to shovel mounds of hash browns into his mouth.

Dean and Seamus both stopped, their forks poised, "We had a Potions essay?" they said simultaneously with identical looks of horror on their faces.

"No," muttered Harry, frowning, "We didn´t." and he got up and left the Great Hall amid whispers. Ron sat still for a moment, and then continued eating his hash browns.

****

Harry sat outside the Great Hall, leaning against one of the suits of armor. He listened to the cheerful chatter emanating from the Hall and felt angry.

"Harry, I-I´ve noticed it too," said a hesitant voice.

"You have?" He looked up hopefully and smiled at Ginny.

"She not even eating anything, look at her! Only an idiot wouldn´t notice something´s wrong."

"The whole Gryffindor table didn´t seem to notice." He sighed, "Or care." He stood up and began to walk away.

"Oh, Harry they do care, but they just don´t know what to do. You seem to be he only person willing to take action." She sighed. "You can´t blame them for not doing anything. They´re afraid they´ll mess up."

Harry shrugged.

Ginny continued, "Sometimes people just let their feelings percolate and simmer and in the end, they´ve waited too long. And whatever there might have been is just...gone. It´s an opportunity- lost." Harry stopped and turned around. She looked at him eye to eye, without blushing for the first time. He wasn´t sure how this was related to Hermione.

"Sometimes people don´t notice what´s so obvious, and just think its normal," Harry said, his voice slowly getting softer. He looked at her once again, taking in every detail of her face and countenance- the cheerful expression of open honesty and innocence sparked with a little bit of mischief reminiscent of the twins. "Which is why the Gryffindors were acting like such prats in the Hall back there," he remarked, resuming his usual volume and tone.

Ginny shrugged, "Well, Harry...?"

"What?" he spat bitterly.

"Don´t expect too much from Ron. He thinks a lot, but usually waits for someone else to take action."

"Well, Ginny, he should do something," Harry snapped, tersely, "Hermione´s his best friend, too!" His face remained thoughtful, "He should care more..."

She laughed, "Anyway, Gryffindors aren´t exactly known for their brains, we´re just the heroic ones that fight to the death for anything we believe in!" Ginny punctuated each word with a dramatic sigh or pose, "Always noble! Always true!" She placed both hands to her heart and looked up at the encroaching dusk above her, letting out a sigh.

Harry laughed, his face clearing up. "Yup, that´s a Gryffindor," he said off-handedly, looking at her upturned face. The feeble starlight accented her face perfectly, shadowing some of her freckles and making the others stand out. He decided he liked them.

She remained unmoving and her eyes were still fixed on the enchanted ceiling above her. "Mars is bright tonight," she observed. Then she looked at him, giving him an ear-to-ear smile.

Harry gave Ginny a strange look.

Ginny continued, "Anyway, you´ve got your own problems." Harry froze. "I know about Cedric..."

A voice called his name. He turned; it was Cho, waving eagerly at him.

"Hey, Cho!" he ran up to Cho and fell into step with her. "Where to, miss?" he said imitating a cab driver and holding out his hands in front of him as though driving an invisible taxi. Cho laughed, but it was quickly stifled.

Cho suddenly looked serious. "Harry, I- I wanted to talk to you," she paused and carefully weighed what she said in her mind, "I- I´ve heard... some things..."

Then Harry remembered Ginny. He turned around to say good-bye, "Bye Gin-"

She was gone.

****

Ron lingered inside the library fingering a book, and listlessly flipping through its brittle and musty pages. He stood, nonchalantly leaning against a sturdy oaken bookshelf and pretending to be engrossed in his reading. He looked so out of place that his presence there fooled no one- he wasn`t looking up the habits and lifestyle of the manticore, that was for sure. The book in his hands may very well have been a Blast-Ended Skrewt for all the notice he paying to it. The true reason for his presence sat just on the other end of the shelf he crouched behind, rifling through A Study of Ancient Runes and paying as much attention to her book as Ron was to his. He muttered, "Potions essay, my ass."

Hermione pushed a lock of chestnut away with her hand. She rubbed her eyes as they slowly began to shut. Open. Blink. Shut. Open. She covered her face with her hands. Open. Blink. Shut. Was that a tear?

She furiously rubbed her eyes. Pulling out a letter, she smiled from ear-to-ear. Viktor had a way of making her feel special. Summer would have been perfect if not for- she shook her head. She wished Viktor was here to call her `Herm-oh-ninny´ although he had long perfected her name. She needed a comforting arm around her shoulder- or maybe just someone to make her laugh. Why had she been so mean to Ron and Harry?

As though in a trance, Hermione slowly got up and set out- heading for her little coven in the Forbidden Forest. Perhaps, he would be there.

****

"Harry, I´ve noticed for a long time what you were talking about. I´ve really tried to ignore it- I guess I´ve been trying to keep things the way they were. I`m sorry for being such a prat," Ron apologized, "But we really can´t do anything until she´s ready to talk to us."