Vivere

Chapter 4 - When I say I love you

Minerva's eyes focused on her clock, quarter to seven, time to leave. Minerva began the walk to Albus' office, knowing that in a few minutes she would be free from the secret that she loved him.

Too soon Minerva found herself by the gargoyle that guarded his office. With a whispered 'jelly slugs' it slid to the side and Minerva was faced with a set of spiral stairs. Her legs trembled slightly as she stepped onto the stairs; the trembling increased as she began to move up-wards.

Before she could knock on the door to announce her arrival she heard him call out, "Come in." His deep voice almost undid her resolve and she would have turned around then and there if is she had not made the promise to tell him.

She opened the door and slowly stepped into the brightly lit room. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the man standing in the centre of the room. Their eyes connected and Minerva knew that she wouldn't be able to keep up the charade for much longer. She slowly moved towards him but instead of going to him she sat in the chair which was by him.

She broke eye contact and said quietly, "Please sit down Albus, I have something I need to tell you."

As he sat in the chair opposite her he asked, "What is it my dear?"

Minerva took a deep breathe before replying. "There is something I have never told you. Something I should have told you long ago. I was just so afraid and even embarrassed."

Albus leaned over and took her trembling hands in his. "Minerva you know you can tell me anything. We're friends, best friends."

Minerva seemed to wither at the words of comfort, they had struck her deeply. They also made it much, much harder to tell him.

Her courage failed her and she dropped her eyes down into her lap. When her eyes fell upon their joined hands however she pulled hers from his. So overwhelmed with her thoughts she did not notice the saddened look that crossed Albus' eyes as she moved her hands.

Knowing it had to be done Minerva took a deep breathe and said, "It's just so hard to tell someone something that has been my most personal secret for so many years."

Minerva paused and was thankful when Albus did not try to reassure her once more. Instead she just felt her eyes on her, watching.

"I love you."

"I love you too Minerva, we are great friends like I said earlier," Albus replied, his confusion evident.

Minerva's head had shot up as she heard his response. When she heard him say friends though she felt tears well up, she hadn't thought it would be so complicated or heart wrenching.

"No Albus," Minerva whispered. "I'm in love with you."

Albus sat back in his chair, eyes wide open in surprise. Whatever he had been expecting it clearly wasn't that.

Minerva spoke once more, before Albus could even think about saying something. "I'm sorry Albus. I made a promise to myself this year that I would tell you how I feel. This was for me. I never imagined you would ever return that love. I expect nothing."

Having said what she wanted to, Minerva stood and looked at Albus as she kept the tears at bay. As her eyes took in his aged face she immediately saw that he still looked stunned, with good reason. "Goodnight Albus, it would be best if you did not mention this again." Minerva then turned and left his office.

Once she was at the entrance to his office she felt the tears begin to slide down her cheeks. Her shoulders began to shake with sobs as she sank down against the cold, stone wall, she felt so alone.

As her tears started to slow she heard footsteps coming up the dark corridor. She quickly stood and began to frantically wipe all traces of tears from her face.

She had barely composed herself when she heard, "Professor McGonagall?"

"Oh, Hermione, it's you," Minerva replied, her voice hoarse from crying.

"I thought I heard crying but I must have been mistaken. Was I?"

Minerva shook her head, no, Hermione wasn't mistaken. Minerva knew form the tone in Hermione's voice that she knew about Minerva's tears and wanted an answer. Minerva saw no reason for her not to know.

"Are you almost finished with your rounds, Hermione?"

"I have five minutes left, enough to get to your study."

Minerva nodded and together they walked, not speaking, to her study on the first floor. Once inside Minerva gestured for Hermione to take a seat while she took one opposite her. She quickly conjured tea and offered Hermione a ginger newt before speaking.

"I had a . . . rough conversation with Professor Dumbledore," she started. Suddenly Hermione saw a flash of the stern, formidable Professor McGonagall. "I trust you won't repeat any of this."

"Of course not Professor, you have my word," Hermione assured her.

Minerva nodded before continuing. "I have had feelings for him for many years and, I decided that tonight would be the night that I told him. I never, ever expected him to return my feelings but the way he reacted when I told him! He just looked so stunned. I had to tell him but now . . . now I almost wish I hadn't. Its going to ruin our friendship!

Having told her side of the story, Minerva stared into her lap, hiding her tears. She was also embarrassed at being so open and emotional. Especially since she did it in front of a student, even if it was her apprentice.

She was jumped as she felt two small hands envelope hers. She looked up and found two chocolate brown eyes staring back at her.

"I'm sorry Professor. You deserve to be happy with the one you love," Hermione told her, her sincerity obvious.

As Minerva was about to thank Hermione there was a knock at the door. Minerva felt the blood drain form her face, it would be Albus.

"Minerva, it's me, Albus. I need to talk to you, please," Albus called through the door. Confirming Minerva's fears.

Minerva stood and motioned for Hermione to do the same. She then moved to the door and opened it, motioning for Albus to come in. When he saw Hermione there was a small look of surprise on his face. However she left before he could comment, squeezing Minerva's hand as she left.

Once the door was shut Minerva sat and stared at the floor, feeling very much like an embarrassed school girl. Albus continued to stand and when Minerva did not speak he moved until he stood in front of her, towering over her.

"Minerva, I am the one who should apologise. I am also the one who should have told you years ago that I love you."

Minerva looked up, amazement, shock and fear in her eyes.

"I could hardly believe it when you confessed your feelings for me. But then you were gone before I had a chance to tell you of mine."

Albus tilted Minerva's chin upwards and whispered softly, lovingly, "I love you too."

Minerva could hardly believe what was happening. He loved her! She was so happy that tears of happiness began to slide down her cheeks, as if cleaning away the sadness of her last tears.

Seeing the smile that appeared on her face, and even though she was crying Albus leant down and caught her mouth in a gentle, loving kiss. Minerva responded quickly and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding his head close to hers, so he would never leave her.

To be continued...