Rating:
PG-13
House:
The Dark Arts
Characters:
Harry Potter James Potter Ron Weasley Remus Lupin Sirius Black
Genres:
Action Drama
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 02/26/2003
Updated: 11/13/2003
Words: 164,724
Chapters: 41
Hits: 101,291

Promises Unbroken

RobinLady

Story Summary:
Sirius Black remained the Secret Keeper and everything he feared came to pass. Ten years later, James and Lily live, Harry attends Hogwarts, and Voldemort remains…welcome to a darker world.

Chapter 38

Chapter Summary:
Sirius Black remained the Secret Keeper and everything he feared came to pass. Ten years later, James and Lily live, Harry attends Hogwarts, and Voldemort remains…welcome to a different world where nothing is as it seems. {This Chapter: The consequences of the Azkaban raid prove to be more complicated than anyone could have imagine, even Dumbledore.}
Posted:
10/02/2003
Hits:
2,019

Promises Unbroken

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Escaped Innocence

Cold rain was falling, but Sirius didn't care. At the moment, it even felt slightly comforting. The rain and the cold reminded him that he was human, and helped him feel something aside from the awful numbness that he'd been living with for the last two days. He was sitting under a tree in a London park, getting dripped on every few minutes, but it didn't matter. The sky was dark and gray, promising further rain, but the prospect of bad weather didn't bother him nearly as much as it seemed to annoy the fleeing Muggles. Watching them run for cover, Sirius almost cracked a smile. Why did they fear getting wet? Didn't they have ways to dry their clothes, too? In the end, though, he shrugged. Compared to his problems, Muggle concerns seemed really mundane.

Sirius sighed and continued tracing patterns in the mud with his heel. His jeans were going to be filthy, but how often did he wear Muggle clothes, anyway? Kreacher could deal with them. The stupid house elf needed something to occupy his time, anyway.

He looked up at the sky again. The grim gray color of the clouds was a perfect metaphor for his life. Grim, cold, and hopeless. Not to mention unpredictable--as was proved when the sky let loose with a giant torrent of rain. Everything had just happened too dammed fast. His mind still hadn't caught up with his actions, and even then, he wasn't sure that he wanted to. Oh, snap out of it, Sirius, he told himself irritably. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. For once in your life, it's not an impulse that got you in trouble. You knew exactly what you were doing. Finally, Sirius groaned out loud.

"This sucks," he breathed.

"I'd have to agree," a female voice suddenly intruded on this thoughts, making Sirius' head snap up.

She stood shadowed by the giant oak, wet and shivering slightly. Her blond hair was tangled and sticking to her cloak, and the look on her finely boned face looked downright miserable. Shrugging, Julia shook free of her hood, spraying tiny water droplets all over Sirius, who was all ready too wet to care. Her gray eyes, however, were much less casual than her motions could lead someone to believe, and she looked at him levelly, seemingly able to see straight through the walls he'd spent years building and perfecting around himself. The spark in those eyes had surprised him when they had first met, because if one simply looked at her cold and distant exterior, Julia Malfoy was the perfect example of one of the Wizarding world's oldest and purest families. Few ever saw her for what she really was.

"The weather, I mean," Julia clarified with a slight quirk of her lips, plopping down beside him in a decidedly ungraceful fashion. "The company, on the other hand..."

Sirius had to smile despite himself. "It just got better."

"Did it?" But she laid her head against his shoulder and her tone was light, so Sirius knew she was only joking. Mostly.

"You're going to mess up your clothes something awful, you know," he remarked.

"That's what Cleaning Charms are for, Sirius."

"Yeah."

There was a long moment of silence, which Julia finally broke by asking, "So why are you here? Sitting in the rain, and playing with the mud..."

"I'm not playing with the mud," he objected immediately, making her snort.

"Sure, and this little snitch appeared all by itself," Julia retorted. "In a Muggle park."

"Of course it did." He tried a charming smile on for size, but was well aware of how miserably it failed. The amusement faded from Julia's face as she lifted her head off his shoulder, skewering him with a glare.

"Don't change the subject, Sirius."

"Ah." He sighed and glanced at the ground again. "I was hoping you missed that."

"Not likely." Julia's body was still warm next to his own in a very comfortable contrast to the damp air, but her voice had cooled a little bit. "So what are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Thinking."

"Dangerous thing, that," she replied, but he heard the strain in her voice as she struggled to keep her tone light. "Especially when it's you."

"How did you find me, anyway?"

"I stuck my head in the fire and asked Peter where I could find his most idiotic friend. He immediately told me that you were out here, getting yourself all wet and depressed for no apparent reason." Julia gave him a hard look. "He said you were thinking, too."

Sirius sighed quietly, but remained silent. On one hand, he was grateful for Julia's company--he didn't get to see her often enough as it was, and he did miss her--but on the other, he had just been getting into stride for a good session of self-pity, and he hated being interrupted. Even when he knew that it was probably good for him. She must have seen the look on his face, though, because Julia laid a hand on his arm and spoke softly.

"Lucius told me what happened, Sirius," she said when he did not answer. "And I'm not even going to ask you if you're crazy, because I all ready know you are. I'm not even going to ask you what you were thinking, facing up to the Dark Lord like that. Instead, I'll ask how you're feeling about it."

"All right, I guess," he replied after a moment. "I suppose that I ought to be feeling a lot worse than I am, which is really what worries me."

"Why is that?"

"Because I made the choice," Sirius answered quietly. "Sounds stupid, doesn't it, to say that I knew exactly what I was getting myself into? But I did."

She chuckled gently. "Somehow I'm not surprised. No matter how much you try to act like an impulsive idiot, you're actually very smart."

He snorted. "I am an impulsive idiot."

"So what made you do it?" Again, Julia's head came to rest on his shoulder, and Sirius couldn't deny that he liked the feeling of having it there. Slowly, he let out a deep breath and leaned his head back to rest against the wet oak's trunk. He finally gave her the same answer he'd given Harry two days before.

"Because someone had to," Sirius said quietly, then he snorted again, listening to how stupidly noble his words sounded. "Or maybe it wasn't so selfless. Or maybe it was. Selfish, selfless... Ah, Hell, I don't know. I just know that I had to stand up to him, had to prove that I could..." Pausing, he considered the words he'd just said and tried to laugh. "Does that make any sense?"

"Yes," Julia said quietly. "It makes perfect sense."

"Ever since escaping Azkaban, I've felt trapped," he admitted. "I know it sounds weird, but..."

"But you hate being a victim," she finished for him, taking his hand and squeezing it.

"Yeah." His eyes slid shut and something cold rose inside him, making his voice unexpectedly hard. "I'd rather be Voldemort's enemy than his victim."

A long moment passed between them in silence, and Sirius listened half-heartedly as raindrops fell in the tree branches above them. Mostly, though, he concentrated on the sound of Julia's steady breathing at his side. They had been apart for so many years, yet sometimes, like this moment, he could almost feel that no time had passed between them. Julia understood him; there was no denying that. They weren't a perfect match--he wholeheartedly believed that there was no such thing as perfect in the world--but with Julia, he'd never felt the need to hide himself away like he had always done with other women. His relationship with her wasn't like the brotherhood he shared with James, Remus, and Peter, but it was no less powerful for being different. Sitting in cold mud underneath a dripping tree with Julia was peaceful.

It was home.

"You're so cold," she finally whispered. "I've never known you like this."

Sirius blinked. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be."

"I know," she said quickly, and Sirius felt her shake her head. "I don't blame you for it...I can understand why. I just wish that I could say something magical and help you be whole again."

His heart stopped beating for what had to be a full thirty seconds. What did I do to deserve someone like her? He swallowed. "Your being here is enough."

"You're a good liar, Sirius, but not that good." Julia's lips brushed his cheek, and Sirius turned his head to look into her eyes. "But thank you anyway."

"I should be thanking you."

"For what?"

Sirius smiled, and felt this time, that it was real. "Just being you."

"Always." Very slowly, Julia leaned forward to kiss him on the lips, and for that moment in time, Sirius allowed himself to luxuriate in a feeling of peace that he hadn't found in far too long. Kissing Julia was like flying, but better; it was warmer and safer and more exhilarating all at the same time. They might not have been as young as they had once been, but the familiarity in the kiss meant it was no less passionate than their first had been, so many years ago. Love, Sirius had long ago discovered, was one of the few things that improved with age.

With a smile, he pulled back and rose, taking her hands and dragging her up with him. "C'mon. Let's get out of the cold."

"I thought you wanted to be miserable," Julia smiled.

"Not any more."

----------------

"Hello, Severus."

Something in the old voice made Snape falter immediately. After so many years, he was one of the few who could claim to know Albus Dumbledore well, although no living being, witch or wizard, could ever understand everything that went on behind those twinkling blue eyes. However, he'd never heard that weary edge where there should have been triumph, had never known those blue eyes, ever so intelligent, to look so worn. That there was something wrong he recognized right away; if Dumbledore would tell him or not was another question entirely.

"Albus."

Taking the offered hand, Severus could not miss the fact that Dumbledore's palm was somewhat clammy, and he seemed frailer than before. No, he thought behind closed eyes, frail is not the right word. Tired is. He tried to study his old mentor without seeming to, but even given his skills, it was hard. The lines on Dumbledore's face seemed deeper than usual, and he did seem tired. In fact, he seemed exhausted.

"Are you all right?"

Dumbledore smiled. "I'm fine. It has simply been a long...day."

"Might I ask why, then, you are in my dungeon instead of being at home?" Severus asked with a carefully arched eyebrow.

"Because war, Severus, does not wait on an old man's follies."

"I hardly would call anything you do a folly," he replied. "Especially coming here."

"Of course not." Dumbledore half-smiled and took the offered seat in Severus' private quarters. Very few had ever been privileged enough to enter there--half of his colleagues still had bets placed upon how dreary the interior truly was. Of course, Severus hardly cared what they thought, and his chambers had always been his private abode...but Dumbledore was always welcome there.

"Remus does know you are here, of course?" His only answer was a raised pair of silver eyebrows, and was exactly what he deserved. "My apologies."

"None necessary," the old man reassured him after a moment. His expression softened slightly. "As I said, it has been a trying day."

Odd, how you've said that twice, when I don't think you've ever admitted that before to me, Severus couldn't help thinking, but he knew better than to say it. Dumbledore was, if anything, a man of many, many secrets, none of which anyone could hope to know. He felt privileged enough to know the very few that he did. "I see."

"How was the meeting last night?" Dumbledore asked, suddenly down to business. "Remus told me you were summoned."

"It was...interesting." Severus leaned back in his own chair, slowly reflecting over his experiences. "The Dark Lord was not exactly pleased with events, although I managed to avoid repercussions, due to my actions in Azkaban."

"Sirius told me that you saved Voldemort's life." Although there was absolutely no judgment in Dumbledore's voice, Severus could not help bristling.

"I had little choice in the matter, you realize," he snapped.

"Of course you didn't." The old wizard waved off his hurried response. "I understand your reasons, and so does Sirius." A slow smile spread across the aged face, and his eyes suddenly twinkled dangerously. "The fact that Voldemort now owes you a Wizard's debt may indeed come in useful some day."

Snape stared. For a long moment, that was all he could do. Then, after swallowing (hard, and at least twice), he was finally able to form a suitable reply.

"I hardly think that the Dark Lord will feel obligated to uphold a life debt to one of his Death Eaters."

It was, after all, something he hadn't even thought about, and the possibilities were downright frightening. Severus had acted, now without thought but without a care for the consequences--the prisoners and Aurors had been escaping, and odds were that they were too smart to try and take Voldemort, unconscious though he was, along with them. That amount of foresight from Black had surprised Severus, but he supposed that even Gryffindors weren't stupid. The Ministry would never have been able to hold Voldemort without a great deal of preparation that simply hadn't been made; given the circumstances, it was only a question of if they would try or not. Like a good Death Eater, though, Severus had taken that option out of their hands. Doing so was much less complicated than the alternative.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Severus," Dumbledore answered slowly. "Even Lord Voldemort cannot ignore the most ancient of magic." His eyes flashed. "No matter how hard he may try."

A shiver ran down his spine. "What do you know that I don't?" Severus whispered.

"Nothing." Dumbledore shook his head, suddenly seeming far away. His voice dropped slightly, making Severus lean forward in order to hear better. "Nothing at all...or at least nothing concrete. Everything is clouded, but great powers are at work here, my friend...not all of them dark."

The voice was different, then, and nothing like Dumbledore had sounded when he'd first entered Severus' dungeon chambers. There was nothing tired or worn about him now, no hint of frailty. Now there was sudden mystery and strength, and an understanding that Severus recognized but could not identify--he'd seen Dumbledore's eyes drift off into the distance several times before, but rarely like this, and rarely with so much at stake. The Minister of Magic was different, though, that much he knew. He was like no one else Severus had ever met, except... He blinked, suddenly struck by the similarities between Dumbledore's current distance and Remus' recent behavior.

What is this? he wondered breathlessly, but did not ask. He only sat in silence, for how long he did not know, until the old man's eyes slid back into focus and his head came up. Severus pretended not to know that several long minutes had passed while Dumbledore had stared unseeingly at the forest green carpet, but he did notice the abrupt change in the former headmaster when Dumbledore spoke in a suddenly calm and collected voice.

"I assume, then, that he does not suspect you."

"No. I do not believe so." Snape hesitated. "You don't really think...?"

Those blue eyes were now as uncanny as ever. "I do."

"Ah." Uncharacteristically, Severus couldn't even think of a snide remark to make; even if he had, though, he would not have aimed one at Dumbledore. He both respected and owed the old man too much to bother with petty things like his own self-esteem. He absolutely despised feeling helpless or lost, and usually covered any discomfort by being insufferable, but not with Dumbledore. Not now.

"However," the old wizard continued, probably feeling sorry for him, "only time will tell."

Severus snorted.

Dumbledore smiled. "Of course, that is a rather empty platitude, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically. "For now, though, we wait, unless you know anything more of use."

"Not really," he shook his head slightly. "You already know that Azkaban is a mess, and that the Dark Lord is positively furious--although he will bide his time. No matter how angry he is."

"I expected nothing less," was the serene reply.

He rolled his eyes. "Sometimes you worry me."

"And why is that?" the old man chuckled unexpectedly.

"You know too much," Severus said pointedly, hoping for answers. Unfortunately, all he got was more laughter.

"Or too little, my boy," Dumbledore snickered. "Sometimes it is the same thing."

----------------

Molly and Arthur both awoke to screaming. Startled, both Weasleys were out of bed and in motion long before they realized what was the cause of the disturbance; once they had, however, both parents bolted for their oldest son's room. Briefly, it occurred to Molly to be thankful that all their other children were at Hogwarts, save Ginny--but that brought sadness from Charlie's loss, and what might have been, so she pushed the thought away. Arthur narrowly beat her to Bill's door, and she nearly ran up onto his heels when the knob would not turn.

Her husband made a crude remark that threatened to turn Molly's entire face red.

"Arthur!" she snapped.

"Not now, Molly!" The tension they both felt made his voice sharp. Arthur tore his wand out of his robes. "Alohomora!"

Without thinking, they both pushed the door open, only distantly aware of the fact that the screaming had suddenly stopped. There was a shout, and then a red jet of light suddenly hit Arthur full in the chest and sent him flying backwards.

"Arthur!" Molly jumped backwards in surprise, away from the opening, staring at her now-unconscious husband. Unlike Arthur, she hadn't thought to grab her wand on the way out of their room, so she very carefully peered through the doorway, dreading what she would find.

Bill stood next to the bed, his wand still raised. His hair was muddled hopelessly and it was clear that he had been abed, but his face was gaunt and paler than Molly had ever seen it be. A dead and haunted look filled his eyes before he blinked suddenly, and then lowered his wand.

"Sorry, Mum," Bill said quietly. His voice was hoarse. "I guess I forgot to put up Silencing Charms."

"You...what?" she could hardly bring herself to comprehend what he'd just said. Molly started to move forward, noticing that Bill was shaking slightly and his forehead was covered in sweat, but he beat her to it and moved towards the door.

"Is that Dad?" he asked suddenly, slipping past her. "I didn't mean to... Oh, damn."

"Bill!" It was all she could think of to say, but in her confusion, Molly couldn't even take comfort in the old staples of her life.

She made a grab for his arm but missed as her son moved to Arthur's side. "I'll wake him up."

"That's all right, dear, you don't need to--"

"I'm not an invalid, Mum," Bill snapped, glaring at her briefly with those empty eyes. "And I wasn't gone for all that long. I can handle a simple spell."

"I wasn't trying to say that you couldn't," she floundered for the right words. "I was just trying to say..."

"Ennervate."

Arthur's eyes flew open. "Who--what--?" He groped blindly for his wand, which lay only a few feet away but he seemed unable to reach.

"It's all right, Dad," Bill reassured him. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to stun you. I just forgot to put up Silencing Charms, that's all."

"Silencing Charms?" Arthur demanded, his eyes suddenly worried. "Bill, are you--"

"I'm fine," their oldest son cut his father off, standing abruptly. Immediately, Arthur clambered to his feet, exchanging a meaningful glance with Molly as he did so. After so many years of marriage, and so many children, they could read one another without words, and she could plainly see the concern in his eyes. Unsurprisingly, it was a twin for the cold and painful feeling she felt twisting in her own gut.

"Do you need to talk about it, dear?" she asked quietly, placing a gentle hand on her son's shoulder. "It might help."

"No." Bill jerked away from her, shaking his head. The uncertainty in his stance made Molly stare at him; she'd never seen Bill seem so lost or so uncomfortable. Briefly, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, which seemed to help him. He opened his eyes and spoke in a voice that was far too calm for her liking, and did not at all match the dead look in his eyes. "I just need to go to sleep."

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked quietly.

"Yes," their son replied immediately. His voice shook slightly. "I know you want to help, Mum, Dad...just not now. Not yet."

Molly swallowed and traded another glance with her husband. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to reach out to her son, but he'd already pulled away once--and maybe he wasn't ready. Bill was a grown man, and they had to trust his judgment, even when it hurt. "All right," she said softly.

Both she and Arthur stood there for a long moment after Bill had disappeared behind his locked door once more, and they heard the quiet incantation as he cast a Silencing Charm on the door to protect them from his nightmares. She could only begin to imagine the hell that Bill had faced in Azkaban, and Molly had to bite her lip hard to keep tears from rising. Without a word, Arthur took her hand and squeezed it, and she knew that he felt just as terribly as she. It was so wrong, she knew. Parents were supposed to protect their children from such horrors, not the other way around.


----------------

Author's Note: Next Chapter: "The End of a Beginning"--The final chapter of Promises Unbroken. Look for the sequel, Promises Remembered, shortly afterwards.

I have started a Yahoo! Group for the "Unbroken Universe". It's free to join, and I'll post updates plus other tidbits, like the trailer, that way. The address is: www.groups.yahoo.com/group/Unbroken_Universe. Please do not email me to be put on the update list now; joining the list is much easier.