Rating:
PG-13
House:
The Dark Arts
Characters:
Harry Potter James Potter Ron Weasley Remus Lupin Sirius Black
Genres:
Action Drama
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 02/26/2003
Updated: 11/13/2003
Words: 164,724
Chapters: 41
Hits: 101,291

Promises Unbroken

RobinLady

Story Summary:
Sirius Black remained the Secret Keeper and everything he feared came to pass. Ten years later, James and Lily live, Harry attends Hogwarts, and Voldemort remains…welcome to a darker world.

Chapter 31

Chapter Summary:
Sirius Black remained the Secret Keeper and everything he feared came to pass. Ten years later, James and Lily live, Harry attends Hogwarts, and Voldemort remains…welcome to a different world where nothing is as it seems. {This Chapter: Origins and answers}
Posted:
08/29/2003
Hits:
1,912

Promises Unbroken

Chapter Thirty-One: Origins and Answers

The first good sign was the fact that the door didn't screech loudly in protest when Peter opened it. The second was the absence of the marvelous smell of decay that had characterized Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place the last time they had visited.

"Seems to have improved," Peter remarked as a long line of packages drifted into the house before them. Sirius had recently indulged in a much-needed shopping spree, buying everything from new robes to household items, and under his direction, the packages deposited themselves just inside the door. He'd deal with them later.

Sirius grunted in response to Peter's question. "We'll see."

But stepping into the front hall was like walking into the past. The gloomy and smelly corridor had been transformed. Once moldy walls were covered in new paint and wallpaper, and the old threadbare carpet had been either replaced with an identical copy or repaired so well that it looked brand new. The pure silver chandelier was free of both cobwebs and grime now, and the gas lamps had been refurbished so that they didn't smell or hiss anymore. Most importantly, though, almost all of the old portraits were gone. In two days, the Hogwarts house elves had done miracles.

Grinning, Sirius cast a triumphant glance at where his mother's old portrait had once hung behind absent moldy curtains; she, of course, was gone, thanks to a great deal of work done by the Marauders. The Permanent Sticking Charm had been almost impossible to defeat, but Lily, the Curse-breaking extraordinaire, had finally done so, which meant the obnoxious and bigoted painting was no more. It was a hell of a relief to not have to walk into the hallway accompanied by her screeching.

"Quiet," Peter commented.

"Refreshing," Sirius corrected him with a grin. "I could almost like this place, now. It doesn't feel nearly as dark."

"No kidding."

"There is one thing that the house elves overlooked, though..." Sirius mused, reaching out to tapping his wand against the hanging chandelier. Suddenly, the serpent shape wavered, and after a moment, transformed into a lion's head. He grinned.

"Oh, my parents would hate me now."

Peter laughed. "Shall we transfigure the rest of the snakes now, or do you want to examine the rest of the house first?"

"Let's explore."

Their journey throughout the rest of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place revealed the rest of the house to be equally transformed. Once dilapidated and dark, the work of the Hogwarts house elves had returned the Black house to the childhood home that Sirius remembered in some of his happier memories. When he was being honest with himself, too, he could recall happier times before Voldemort's rise--times when differences hadn't irrevocably split him from his parents and his brother. As a child, he remembered, he had once been happy here.

They were busy exploring the main bedroom when Peter turned to face him.

"Can I ask you something, Sirius?"

"Sure." He poked curiously at the bed, wondering if it would bite, but then he noticed the silence as his friend tried to put thought into word. Realizing that this had to be important, Sirius turned to face Peter. It took a long moment before the shorter man spoke.

"I was wondering..." Peter took a deep breath. "You don't have to answer this if you don't want to--but I was wondering why you forgave me so quickly. When you learned that I was a Death Eater, that is. You have the most reason to hate me."

Sirius blinked. Although only just over two weeks had passed since his arrival at Hogwarts, it seemed as if a lifetime had gone by. There were two sections to his life: before and after Voldemort, and the second seemed to have taken over with a vengeance now. In truth, he hadn't put much thought into Peter's choice since that moment in the Hospital Ward--or not, at least, a conscious decision about hatred or forgiveness. Not since then. He sighed and sank onto the bed, suddenly feeling very tired.

"I didn't, really," Sirius said quietly. "Not right away, anyway." As Peter stared at him in confusion, he continued. "Remus told me why you changed sides, but I still wasn't sure what to believe...but seeing you there, with James and Remus--" he took a deep breath "--I just couldn't not forgive you. I knew you meant it, and God, Peter, with your reasons...any of us would be dumb enough to do it for those. For each other. And seeing you there, seeing us all together for the first time in ten years...who was I to break that?

"And I needed it, too," Sirius concluded quietly, "our friendship. After all, three Marauders aren't worth much without the fourth."

"Thanks," Peter said very quietly.

Sirius shrugged and tried to smile. "Hell, Wormtail, you deserved the chance. Everyone makes bad choices."

"Some make worse ones than others, Sirius," his friend replied seriously.

"Yeah, but you're forgetting that I know how persuasive Voldemort can be."

"But you didn't break," Peter objected.

"I'm too stupid to break," Sirius replied lightly. "Too damn stubborn for my own good."

"You're not stupid."

"Stupid, brave, same difference in case like that." He shrugged again.

But Peter didn't laugh. Instead, he sat down heavily on the bed next to Sirius. "I wish I could have done what you did," he admitted quietly. "I wish I had the courage to say no, to resist just because it was the right thing to do."

"Peter, do you think I resisted so long out of principle?" Sirius asked, looking at his friend, who met his eyes timidly. He reached out and squeezed Peter's shoulder. "Hardly. I did it for my friends, because that's what we are. We're brothers and loyal no matter what. I did it for friends who I knew would do the same for me. Just like you did--you made the wrong choice, true, but you did it for the right reasons. There's nothing for me to hate in that."

"But--"

"But what? You can't say you don't have courage. Not after what you did the other day, publicly defying him."

"I did it because I was scared to stay a Death Eater," Peter said in a small voice.

Sirius snorted. "So? And I ran from Azkaban because I didn't want to die. People keep telling me that was a courageous thing to do, but I don't really think so."

"It is," his friend objected.

"There can be no courage unless you're scared," he said quietly. "Some Muggle said that, once, and it's very true."

"But you don't fear him. V-Voldemort, I mean."

"He scared the hell out of me, Peter," Sirius admitted quietly, shivering and glancing away. "More for what he has done than for what he is. I have nightmares every night, too."

"You never seem afraid."

"Because he can't do any worse to me than he's already done, and I lived through that," he replied. "Voldemort wants to break me, and I don't know why. He's obsessive over it. That means if I let myself fear him now, I'll be paralyzed and unable to act when I have to. Sooner or later, I know I'm going to have to face him."

"Why do you think that?" Peter asked quietly.

"I don't know. Just a feeling I have."

----------------

"He's got no control."

"No?" James asked, feeling his eyebrows--and his heckles--rise. He shoved both down by force, reminding himself that now was a time to be professional and not simply one to defend his friend.

"None whatsoever," Hestia Jones confirmed with a grimace. "I don't deny he's got power, but he doesn't have any control. He does things and doesn't know why. He's no better than a first year Hogwarts student in that respect."

"He did just get out of prison, Hestia," the senior Auror pointed out mildly, partially surprised at his own control. "You have to remember that Sirius hasn't used magic in ten years. He's bound to make mistakes."

"I understand that completely," she replied. "And that is why I recommended a gradual re-orientation program, designed to allow Black to get his bearings at a natural rate..."

"Which I overruled," James put in, saying it before she had to.

Hestia shrugged unhappily. "You're the boss."

"I am, but I didn't do that because he's my friend." Although he doubted she believed that. In her place, James probably wouldn't have either. "You might not agree with me, but I know Sirius Black. You were still at Hogwarts when he entered the Aurors, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I was playing Quidditch for Puddlemere United at the time, but even I saw the waves he made in the division. Alastor Moody called Sirius the best he'd ever taught, and if you had known Moody, you'd realize that he didn't hand out compliments lightly." James looked her in the eye. "By the time I entered the Aurors in 1979, he was already considered one of the best."

"With all due respect, sir, I wasn't arguing about his talents then," she replied stiffly. "I'm simply worried about his control now."

"One of our professors at Hogwarts used to say that Sirius had no brakes. Are you sure that isn't what you're seeing? And don't call me sir, Hestia. We've gone through this before."

"Fine. James, he's a danger to himself and to others."

"Describe how."

"He's easily distracted," Hestia responded immediately. "When practice dueling, I caught him completely unaware at least twice, and managed to hit him with both the Imperius Curse and the Cruciatus Curse."

"How did he deal with those?" James cut in.

"Well enough," she replied grudgingly. "But in standard spell work he tends to do the unexpected, coming up with complicated solutions to simple problems--"

James had tried not to laugh, but a little snort broke through his control.

"What?" Hestia demanded.

"That's just Sirius," he replied, struggling to contain the urge to laugh out loud. The problem, James was rapidly realizing, was more of a personality conflict than anything else. "He's been doing that since we were kids. It means he's bored."

"Bored or not, he doesn't have the patience to be an Auror," she replied darkly. "Half of what we do is routine and straightforward."

"But he's got the power and he's got the skill," James pointed out conclusively. "Two out of three isn't bad, especially when it's those two." He stood up. "Keep working with him, though, and see what comes up. I know you two don't exactly get along, but you might just learn something from him."

"I doubt it," she replied sourly.

James smiled serenely. "We'll see."

----------------

That evening, Sirius and Julia wandered Diagon Alley side by side. The beauty of their situation was completely ironical: few knew Julia was a Death Eater, and those who did thought she was simply luring Sirius into a trap. Therefore, it became not only safe, but also essential, for them to be seen together. It was an awkward arrangement, but also a necessary one.

As the hours passed, they became more and more comfortable together; oftentimes, the years apart seemed to melt away. There were uneasy moments, of course, due to both of them having grown and changed, but those were few, and well worth the trouble.

"You really ought to come to South America with me sometime," Julia was saying with a smile. "When this is all over, I mean. You'd find the Aztecs' temples fascinating, I think."

"Why's that?"

"Places to explore and get yourself in trouble," she replied, making Sirius chuckle.

"You're probably right, then. But only if you'll play hide and seek."

"I'll have an advantage, you know," she laughed. Her blond ponytail whipped around as she shook her head.

"I don't care," Sirius replied with a grin. "I'll find you eventually."

"You think so, do you?"

He just kept smiling. "Yep."

"And why is that?" Julia demanded lightly.

"Because I know you. You'll get sick of hiding and come look for me."

She started to object and then stopped with the strangest look on her face. "You know," Julia said quietly, "you're probably right."

Sirius looked at her strangely. "That's the first time I've ever known you to give in without a fight," he commented.

"I just don't want to lose you again." Her eyes met his, and they were level, but Sirius saw the pain behind the control. He wrapped an arm around her as they walked.

"You won't," he said quietly. "I promise."

Julia laughed humorlessly. "For once, I wish I was one of those silly little girls who believe every word you say," she replied. "But you and I both know there are no promises in this war."

"I know," he admitted. "But I'm not dying."

"Sirius..."

"Hush." He turned his head to kiss her on the forehead; as short as Julia was, she was of a perfect height for that. "I'm not, so don't argue with me."

"How can you be sure?" she whispered.

"Because I've come close enough, and I'm not going back," Sirius replied grimly. "Not until I'm old and toothless and ready to go." He smiled playfully, looking in her eyes. "And by then, I'll be so ugly that you don't want anything to do with me."

"Not likely." She smiled in return.

"What, me growing old and ugly, or you not wanting to stick around?"

Her eyes sparkled. "Both."

----------------

He Apparated almost on top of Julia in her room at the Leaky Cauldron just as she was getting ready to turn in for the night. She jumped, startled, then tripped and collapsed onto the bed. Angrily, she snapped, "Well, hello!"

"I'm glad to see you're alone," Severus Snape snarled.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Julia demanded.

"It means that the entire world knows you're cavorting around with Sirius Black!" her best friend retorted. He looked at her crossly. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"The sitting on the bed part or the Sirius part?" Julia met his eyes with an equally furious glare. Of all people, Severus should have known better than not to knock. He knew how much that ticked her off.

"The goddamn Black part!"

"Oh, that part," she replied sweetly, enjoying watching his face go red in frustration. "Is it so complicated for you to understand that I have gotten back together with the man I love after ten years apart? I know this is a difficult subject for you, Severus, but even you should have seen it coming."

"I'm not talking about that," he snapped.

"Then what are you talking about?" Julia stood, wishing she was taller so that she could look him in the eye without having to crane her neck upwards.

"I'm simply wondering if you have gone insane," Severus growled.

"And why is that?"

He reached out and grabbed her arm so roughly that it hurt, and didn't let her pull away when she tried. "Do you think the Dark Lord will allow you to publicly slap him in the face this way? Do you think he will allow you to wander at will by the side of a man who has become a symbol of resistance? For Merlin's sake, Julia, you couldn't have done worse if you'd chosen Dumbledore or Potter to fall in love with!"

Julia stared for a moment, startled by his outburst--it was so unlike Severus to shout--and then she began to laugh.

"What?" he demanded hotly. "Will you please tell me what's so damn funny about all of this?"

"Severus..." She laid her free hand on his shoulder and gained control of her relief-filled laughter. "I am touched by your concern, but do you think I'm stupid?"

His dark eyes searched her face suspiciously. "At the moment, either stupid or insane, yes."

"I hate to disappoint you, but I am in full possession of my wits at this moment," Julia responded dryly. "And actually, I do believe that the Dark Lord will indeed allow me to do exactly as I please."

"What are you playing at, Julia?" Severus asked worriedly.

"Nothing at all," she answered truthfully. "I'm a Slytherin, remember? No unnecessary risks. But actually, I have been given the task of renewing my relationship with Sirius." She finally grimaced, not wanting to say the distasteful part.

Realization dawned on her old friend's face. "He wants you to deliver Black."

"Yes. Which I won't, of course, but I'll deal with that when it comes."

"Does he know this?" Severus suddenly asked, finally releasing her arm from the death grip he'd had it in.

"Sirius? Yes." Julia smiled slightly. "He's got more courage than you give him credit for, Severus. He understands the risks."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Foolish Gryffindor. He's enough of a target as it is, without adding you to the list."

"You've never been in love," she replied quietly.

"And I hope I never am, judging from what it does to you," he retorted.

"Sure you do," Julia said tolerantly. "You can fool your students, but I know you're an old softie at heart."

Severus snorted.

----------------

Remus sat quietly under the beech tree by the lake, letting his mind wander. It was night, now, and the moon was very nearly full, but not quite--he had three weeks still before he would transform. For many years after he'd received the bite, Remus had been uneasy under any moon, but now he'd come to appreciate its beauty, and the peace he could find alone in the darkness. Few would expect to find Hogwarts' headmaster out alone this late in the evening, staring up at the moon, but that was his reason for coming. In the bustle of the castle, it was hard for even Remus to find solitude, and right now he needed it very much.

His feet were bare, and every so often he wiggled his toes, enjoying the feel of the damp grass between them. He sat with his back against the old beech's trunk, uncaring if he stained his robes or not. Gone were the days when he counted every penny and conserved his money carefully; back when he'd first graduated from Hogwarts, Remus had never been sure how long the time between jobs would stretch. But now, after having been teaching for eight years, he was secure in his position--both financially and materially. He'd never be a rich man, but Hogwarts paid well enough. He was comfortable.

Out of habit, his eyes drifted over the castle, carefully examining each line and curve, looking for problems or dangers. He didn't expect to find any because the enchantments around his school were too strong for that, but he always looked, knowing that the children inside were his to protect. Even unknowingly, they depended upon his strength to shield them from the monster that lurked just outside the gates.

Sooner or later, Voldemort would come.

He'd gathered that much from talking to Dumbledore three days before. Because of that, there were reasons other than the need for solitude that brought Remus outside tonight. He was still adjusting to his newfound powers, but he had already learned how to see the castle in a different light. Now, he didn't just judge Hogwarts through physical eyes; he saw deeper, delved into the old and ancient power that kept the wards strong and the castle whole. He could see strengths and weakness without even concentrating, and could direct the castle itself on how to heal its wounds. But there weren't any, of course. Dumbledore had taken care of Hogwarts too well for that to happen.

Still, though, Voldemort would come. At the very least, he would have to test Remus again, because the attack by the giants (which seemed to have been a lifetime ago) had been very minor in the grand scope of the war. The Dark Lord needed to know if Remus could stand against him in the same way Dumbledore had, if he could seal the school against all comers and still fight on.

A shiver snuck its way down Remus' spine. He did not relish the idea of standing against Lord Voldemort, but he'd do so if he had to. He had a responsibility to his students and to his teachers... He had to keep them safe, no matter what the cost. In some ways, that duty hardly seemed fair; Remus had always considered himself only slightly above average for a wizard. He certainly had never possessed James or Sirius' casual power or undeniable brilliance. Intelligence, yes, he had, and he'd learned his lessons well throughout life, but he wasn't Dumbledore, either. He'd never have that kind of earth-shattering power. But he'd known what the risks were when he'd taken the job. Although it had seemed unlikely that Voldemort would try for Hogwarts at the time, Remus had always known that the possibility existed.

Now, though, it was more a probability than anything else.

"Nice mess you've gotten yourself in here, Moony," he whispered to himself, smiling slightly.

But he wasn't afraid. Not for himself, anyway. He only feared failure. He feared failure, and what it represented.

The face of every student he passed in the halls reminded him of how high the cost could be.

He would not fail them.

He could not.

----------------

The clock on the wall to his right read, "Go to Bed," and it probably had the right idea.

Instead, Sirius sighed and opened another book. A Muggle clock would have simply told him that it was past two o' clock in the morning, but he could hardly care. He'd woken from a nightmare that had been all to clear for his tastes, shaken and needing to get out. Surprisingly enough, his walk had led him straight to the Ministry, even though he hadn't meant to go there. But Sirius wasn't one to discount coincidences, and his nightmare had given him another clue in the mystery he was struggling to solve. Accordingly, he made his way down the to the division's library and started pulling out books he'd never find at Hogwarts.

He swiped a hand at his tired eyes and kept skimming through the index of Dark Magic in Ancient Times. As tired as he was, Sirius' fingers flew over the pages, searching for the one incantation that would answer all his questions. Almost a dozen different volumes had failed to yield up answers, but he was certain that it had to exist somewhere. He wasn't hallucinating, and he wasn't insane. The damn thing had to be somewhere. With exasperation, he flipped the page past the D's, but turned back quickly as something caught his eye. Maybe, he thought, looking carefully at the entry. Page 269.

Quickly, Sirius turned to the correct page. Halfway down the right hand side of the page, he read:

Distance Seeing Enchantment, the (incantation: Mandatus Prospicio

Subigum): A very complicated spell which creates the ability for the

caster to see through the eyes of another. Ancient Dark Magic, with first

recorded use in the Roman province of Hispania in 117 AD. [Root form:

"Mandatum," to command; "Prospicio," to see from a distance; "Subigo,"

to conquer or compel.] Counter Curse: None.

A chill ran down his spine, and Sirius had to let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His first thought was relief--I'm not imagining things. The second, though, was fear. What if it worked? Immediately, he racked his mind for answers, actively searching his memories for the first time, but he found nothing. As far as Sirius remembered, Voldemort had never succeeded. He remembered passing out more than once from the pain, but didn't recall giving in.

He closed his eyes, thinking, remembering--

Dementors holding him down.

Pain.

The words he'd heard too many times, knew far too well--"Mandatus Prospicio Subigum!"

Agony.

They were trying to grind his resistance down, attempting in every way they knew to break him. Sirius struggled against the horrors rising in his own mind, desperately trying to differentiate between the past and the present and fight against the cold magic tearing through his body. He was screaming and his mind was a mess of memories and pain, unable to tell what was then and what was now.

But he had to fight. That was the one constant he both knew and understood. Fight, or betray his friends. Sirius didn't know how he knew that was true; he just did.

Pain.

Someone cast the Cruciatus Curse, still trying to grind him down. He was screaming so loudly that his throat burned. Sirius gave up on trying to cling to consciousness. He simply fought for control of his heart and mind. They were all that mattered. The body was secondary, now. He was in a war for his soul.

Pain.

Coldness.

Dark.

Sirius snapped out of the memory with a start. Breathing hard, he forced himself to blink rapidly and focus on the room he was in. Not Azkaban, he told himself sternly. Not Casa Serpente. After a long moment, he was able to bring his racing heart under control and think. He had to analyze what he remembered, had to understand what it meant. Had he broken? Could Voldemort use him?

No. And it wasn't stubbornness or denial speaking. Sirius knew it was true. If he had cracked, Voldemort would never be searching for him in this way... So he hadn't broken. But then why did Voldemort want him so?

Every instinct he had told Sirius that the answer laid within that failed spell. He looked at the book again, but there was nothing else. No Counter Curse. No consequences. No other information. He frowned. Maybe his instincts were wrong, but Sirius had learned to listen to them a long time ago. In the Aurors, his instincts had kept him alive more than once, and they had helped him escape from Azkaban, too. But if the reason had something to do with the spell, what was it? Did Voldemort need him because the spell had failed?

He yawned and glanced at the clock again. It was now emitting a faint snoring sound, and read, "Far Too Late to be Looking At A Clock." Sirius groaned aloud. It was probably right.

Armed with answers (and still more questions), Sirius rose and headed home.


----------------

Author's Note: Next Chapter: "The Inner Circle"--the Order of the Phoenix begins to change, and desperation forces Dumbledore to act sooner than expected.

Bad News--The update list has been axed, due to my email program's inability to work with all the addresses that I had added.

Good News--I have started a Yahoo! Group for the "Unbroken Universe". It's free to join, and I'll post updates plus other tidbits, like the trailer, that way. The address is: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unbroken_Universe/.

Other Good News--The next update should be much faster now that my university has gotten rid of the Blaster Worm. Sorry I haven't updated lately, but there's the reason--our entire network was fried.