Promises Unbroken

Promises Unbroken

Chapter Five: Bonds That Won't Break

It was nearly three in the morning before Remus headed for his own quarters, listening to his footsteps ring in the ancient halls as he walked. Even in moments like this, when he was so tired that his eyelids threatened to stick shut, he loved Hogwarts. To him, it had become a symbol of the very thing they were fighting for--freedom, happiness, and of course, friendship. Almost everything that mattered in his life had its roots at the school; first, the best friends he'd ever been privileged enough to have, and now, the wonderful students whom Albus Dumbledore had bequeathed to him. The memories of past and present could mix together at times, and there were moments where he felt he could close his eyes and be eighteen again...

"You know," Peter said, "We really should be asleep. Tomorrow is only slightly important."

Sirius laughed. "It's only graduation, Wormtail. And who wants to stay awake for James' speech, anyway?"

"Hey!" The comment earned him an immediate elbow in the ribs, and they all laughed. Remus, however, turned to his friend, the Head Boy and Quidditch captain.

"Speaking of speeches, where's our Head Girl?" he asked. The sight of James without Lily was a rare one.

"She's asleep," James replied with a slight (yet completely besotted) smile. Even though they were used to their friend's obsession with his fiancée, no one could resist the urge to get a final barb in. Anyone of them would have done it; they always did. Wormtail, however, got his mouth open the fastest.

"Awh... Prongsie didn't want to wake his sleeping angel, did he?" Peter snickered.

James shot him a look that tried to be cross, but failed miserably. He shrugged. "No... I just wanted tonight to be us--the Marauders. Together, at Hogwarts, just like we started. One last time."

"Tomorrow changes everything," Sirius agreed quietly, more solemn than he usually was. Of course, Remus knew his friend well enough to know that Sirius could be serious (the pun from which had gotten old when they were still on the Hogwarts Express for the first time and had only known each other for an hour or two). It was just a rare occurrence. Tonight, though, deep in the passageway behind the mirror on the fourth floor, it seemed right.

A sudden emotion settled over their small group as all four boys thought of Sirius' words. Graduation was tomorrow, and Sirius was right. Graduation would change everything. Their friendship would last, of course, but it would be more like a never-ending summer holiday--they'd all go home to their families, or perhaps they'd move away, but they'd never be together in the same way again. Never again would the four of them share a room and live every waking moment together. Never again would they share every meal, getting in food fights just to see how Professor McGonagall would react. Never again would they have to use James' invisibility cloak to sneak out at night, because they'd be adults...and they wouldn't be at Hogwarts anymore. They'd be free.

That freedom, however, seemed slightly frightening at the moment.

"We know, no matter where we are, there is one thing we will always be," James continued. "We will always be friends."

"Brothers," Peter supplied immediately.

"No matter what," Remus agreed.

"No matter what," James repeated. "We'll always be here for each other."

"Even at three in the morning," Sirius grinned. He always hated to be woken up, even for mischief making--unless, of course, he was the lucky bastard who got to wake the others up, then he was positively gleeful about it. James, however, was continuing, although he seemed a little uneasy.

"I know that what we are can't really be put into words...but I thought I'd try. So please don't laugh at me." He smiled nervously. " I just wanted a way to try and let you know what you mean to me...so I wrote something."

They all stared at him. For a moment, it seemed certain that someone would pipe up with the inevitable wisecrack ("James, I didn't even know you were literate!" popped immediately to mind), but there was only silence. Somehow, in this moment, their customary banter and joking didn't seem to fit. This was a moment of friendship, of love, even--and to cheapen it with a joke wouldn't have been worthy of all they had gone through over the years. Never before had the four boys tried to put their relationship into words, but this was the last moment--tomorrow would change everything.

"Let's hear it, James," Remus said gently.

James shrugged again. "I don't really want to read it out loud," he admitted with a sheepish smiled. He held a piece of paper out for Remus to take. His movements were quick, as if he was afraid he'd lose the guts to carry then out. "Here. Just read it."

With a smile, Remus did, and as his mind registered the words written on the page in James' unruly scrawl, he felt a tingle run down his spine. For a moment, the world went absolutely still. Their friendship had always been beyond definition, until now. James had somehow managed to put the essence of what they were into words, and had somehow made those beautiful words stick to the paper. Perhaps another wouldn't have understood the meaning behind the short poem, but Remus did. He could feel the pure emotion running between the lines.

He read it twice, and then passed it to Peter with a deep breath. Remus watched as Peter's face changed from slightly skeptical to understanding, and watched his blonde friend's eyes sweep over the page again, and again. Slowly, a smile dawned on Peter's face, and he passed the paper to Sirius, who took it with an almost unsettlingly intense look in his blue eyes. Sirius was a faster reader than Peter, and his eyes flew over the page. If Remus hadn't known him so well, he would have suspected that Sirius already knew what lay on the paper--but the nervous look on James' face killed that notion before it was even born. No, this was simply a product of James' hard work, and Remus knew that his friend had poured his heart into the work. It was perfect.

"It's perfect," Sirius whispered as he finished, unconsciously echoing Remus' thoughts.

"It's us," Peter agreed.

Remus nodded. "You did great, James."

"You really like it?" James asked quietly. It had been years since Remus had seen him so nervous (he had in fact only seen it once, back in their fifth year, when James had finally screwed up the courage to ask Lily Evans out for a picnic), and it might have been funny if the moment hadn't meant so much to all of them. But for once in his life, words failed the normally eloquent Remus Lupin as he tried to describe what he felt.

"It's perfect, James," Sirius replied for him, handing the paper back to their friend. His smile was soft. "Really, it is. I've never been able to figure out how to describe what we are--'friends' just isn't a strong enough word. We're brothers, really, because like you said, it's not blood that matters. But I'm not poetic enough, or good enough with words to work out how to say that. You did, and I can't thank you enough for it."

James stared; so did Remus and Peter, for that matter. They were so used to Sirius laughing and goofing off that even they sometimes forgot that he could be the most loyal of friends--of brothers. Slowly, James smiled.

"Speaking of thanks," Peter said quietly, "I don't think I've ever thanked you guys enough for helping me all these years...I don't want to imagine where I'd be if I'd been in any other House. You guys showed me that I can be more than I ever even dreamed of being."

There was another silence; this wasn't really an uncomfortable one, but it was slightly awkward all the same. No matter how close the four of them were, they weren't accustomed to throwing caution to the wind and letting emotions run free. They were more used to the subtleties of their communication, used to knowing what the others felt without having to say it. They were teenaged boys, too "tough" to let the emotions run wild--but at the moment, that did not seem to matter. What mattered was the moment, this last one, and they were together. Even then, this openness did feel strange, no matter how right it was. James, however, was always great at solving problems. He grinned lightly. "That's what friends are for, Wormtail."

Remus, however, swallowed. There was something else that had never quite been left unsaid, but all the same, he had to share it. Feeling his heart pound in his chest, he decided that he'd better speak before he lost the courage to. "And speaking of friends..." he said softly, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "I wanted to thank you, too. Thanks for being my friends. Most people wouldn't, you know."

He didn't have to say why.

"But that's what we are, Moony," Sirius said softly. He held a hand out to Remus, who took it. "Friends."

"Brothers." James laid his hand on top of theirs'.

Peter's hand joined the other three. "Faithful until the end."

"Until the end," they chorused.

Again, there was silence, and Remus felt tears almost prick in his eyes. This was the end of something magical--and while, true, it was another beginning, as well, tomorrow would change everything. The carefree days of childhood and Hogwarts were over. They were moving on in the world, and the roads they took would indeed lead them separate ways. There was no way to tell what the future would bring, and after this moment, there would be no guarantees. But no matter what happened, they would always be friends, brothers, until the end.

Remus felt a lump form in his throat as they sat in comfortable stillness, each thinking of the past. Sometimes, it felt like he'd known the others forever, but there were moments he could remember like yesterday--the fateful meetings on the Hogwarts Express or the moment when Sirius, James, and Peter had confronted him with the fact that they knew he was a werewolf...and that they didn't care. He remembered the first night, fifth year, when his friends had become Animagi for him, the wonderful feeling of being understood, and of having friends who knew him for what he truly was. He could remember the successful pranks and the disasters like when Filch had confiscated the Marauder's Map...and he knew that no matter where his future roads led, he would always remember this moment, sitting silently in the fourth floor secret passageway, grasping hands with the friends he would never forget.

He never knew how long was before they rose and silently turned to leave through mutual agreement. Just as Peter reached to open the passageway, though, Sirius held a hand out to stop them.

"I have an idea," he said impulsively, his blue eyes shining. Before anyone could react, he reached out and took the paper from James' hand, raising his wand. Moments later, James' poem was engraved into the wall for all eternity. Sirius turned back to the friends and returned the paper. He smiled solemnly.

"In case we ever forget."

Remus stopped cold. His heart contracted. He hadn't forgotten, but he wanted to remember... Without even making a conscious decision, the headmaster backtracked and strode quickly up a flight of stairs that was polite enough to stop moving to give him passage. There were advantages to being the headmaster, after all--the castle tended to be more accommodating for its head. A short and brisk walk brought him to the mirror on the fourth floor, erasing all the fatigue he'd felt earlier. Every step brought back another memory, but finally he turned down a familiar corridor and reached his destination. He stood before the mirror for a moment, remembering all the times when he, James, Peter, and Sirius dove into this passage to avoid Filch or his bothersome cat, or to sneak into Hogsmeade when they should have been doing homework. Once, he thought to himself, we had everything.

Raising his wand, the headmaster spoke the password. "Abscondum."

The mirror swung aside, and Remus stepped into the passageway. It had been years since he'd been down here--but from the look of the tunnel, someone else had. Probably, he knew, the Weasley twins--he wouldn't put anything past them; they were always getting into trouble--but he wasn't there as their headmaster. Pranks and rule breaking did not matter at the moment. He was there, for tonight only, as Moony. Just once more.

He ignored the soft click of the mirror sliding shut behind him, instead turning to face the far right hand wall. For a moment, his heart caught in his chest and he feared that it might be gone, but as Remus squinted in the darkness, he could make out something. Raising his wand and mumbling a spell for light, he moved closer, until he stood right in front of James' poem. He hadn't been there since that night, so long ago, right before graduation, but now the emotions rolled back on him. Swallowing hard, he read the words:

True friendships never really die

And family isn't defined by blood

It's made strong by bonds that won't break

Tempered and tested by trials and pain

What we are is brothers, and as such we remain

Loyal to one another until the end

And no matter what happens between this moment and then

I shall be always thankful to have had such friends.

James had repeated those words at Sirius' funeral, and later, he would at every anniversary of Sirius' disappearance, when the three remaining Marauders came together, no matter where their futures had taken them. When James had composed the poem, Remus knew that he'd never dreamed one of their number might be so cruelly taken from them--but he had. Sirius had. Remus tried to take a deep breath, but it rattled oddly in his chest. Remembering was still torture. The loss and pain could still burn. He bit his lip briefly in regret, and then found a slight smile forming. Beneath James' work was Sirius' only addition.

MOONY WORMTAIL PADFOOT PRONGS

Blinking back sudden tears, Remus knelt next to the inscription. Without thinking, he switched his wand to his left hand, and reached up with trembling fingers to touch the third name. The werewolf took a deep breath.

"I won't forget, Padfoot," he whispered. "None of us will."