Rating:
PG-13
House:
The Dark Arts
Characters:
Albus Dumbledore Harry Potter Remus Lupin Sirius Black Severus Snape
Genres:
Action Drama
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 01/12/2003
Updated: 05/03/2003
Words: 102,224
Chapters: 28
Hits: 39,099

Death Before Dishonor

RobinLady

Story Summary:
After being rescued from the Dursleys by Sirius, Harry finds that there ``are still plenty of ways for Voldemort to catch him--and that his life ``may have to be bought at a very high price. Set in fifth year and the ``summer before it.

Chapter 08

Chapter Summary:
During the summer after Harry's fourth year, he is again stuck at the Dursleys'. But when Aunt Petunia meets a new friend who claims to be an old friend of James Potter, the Dursleys plan on dumping Harry with him when they go on vacation. There's only one problem. It's Wormtail.
Posted:
02/19/2003
Hits:
1,282

Death Before Dishonor

Chapter Eight: Escape

Apparating wasn´t the best idea he´d ever had. The process itself, of course, worked fine--Snape had plenty of practice Apparating when he was feeling like crap--but it was the standing part that disagreed with him. Immediately after appearing in the Forbidden Forest without Black to support him, he collapsed, letting loose a string of curses that would have made even Lucius Malfoy blush. Snape barely stopped before he howled in pain, but decided that drawing attention to himself wasn´t a good idea, either. He looked around, but saw nothing. Nothing at all: nothing dangerous, nothing alive, and certainly nothing that resembled Sirius Black. Where the hell is he?

Snape growled angrily, but even that seemed to take a lot of energy. He managed to sit up, winching at the pain in his broken ribs, and watched with interest as the forest spun around him. For such a dark place, it was rather colorful... Pretty, he thought stupidly. Looks almost like a rainbow flavored pensive... Suddenly, without knowing how he got there, he was lying on his back again, staring up at what little of the sky he could see through the trees. It, too, was moving, swirling around like a rather ill tempered but slow moving tornado. Odd, he thought. I´ve never seen it do that, before.

"Snape?" a voice called in the distance, and he realized vaguely that it had been shouting that name for some time. Hope they find who they´re looking for... He´d never realized how comfortable the forest floor could be. Too bad there was something underneath the small of his back. Otherwise, he might have been able to fall asleep. "Severus!"

Snape´s head jerked around towards the voice, and he glared angrily at the interruption. Wait a minute... When he took a deep breath, the dizziness retreated. What am I doing? He remembered starting to sit up, and then everything had started to spin... Snap out of it, Severus! Footsteps crashed through the undergrowth, and suddenly Sirius Black was standing over him.

"What are you doing?" Black asked with confusion, and Snape sighed, too angry to even lie.

"My leg´s broken," he snapped.

"Why the hell didn´t you mention that before, you idiot?" Black demanded. Snape glared at him. "Oh, get over it. Ferula."

Trying to ignore the fact that Black had just splinted his leg--something that Snape felt too dizzy to do for himself at the moment--he commented sarcastically, "I didn´t realize you were a purveyor of the healing arts, Black."

"I´m not," the other replied. "In fact, you just tested me up to the limit of my abilities, so don´t expect miracles. Now, what else is wrong with you?"

"Broken ribs, crack in the head, and a few too many Cruciatus curses." There was no point in lying to the man. He felt like hell, but watched suspiciously as Black conjured up a stretcher. "I am not riding on that. I can walk."

Black glared at him. "Don´t be stupid, Snape. I´m sure you can walk, but you´ll make a hell of a racket and slow us down too much. You and I both know that they´re going to be tailing us soon as they notice you´re gone."

"Fine," Snape snapped. The jerk was right, and the professor knew all too well that Dark Magic could track Apparition. They were going to need all the head start they could get, which was the only reason why he allowed himself to be floated onto the stretcher.

With him aboard, the stretcher lifted gently off the ground and followed Black as he set out through the forest. They traveled in silence, with Snape watching the other wizard´s back warily, but Black seemed to know exactly where he was going. Small wonder, he thought irritably. Of course he knows where he´s going. He´s probably been in here a million times with Lupin and their other friends. However, he had to admit that Black´s experience was serving them well now. Snape hadn´t even seen the slightest hint of a path, which meant they were staying the heck away from anywhere the Death Eaters would approach. After all, most Death Eaters had attended Hogwarts, and unlike Black (but like Snape) they had a healthy respect for the forest´s collection of strange creatures and beasts, and wanted to stay as far away from them as possible. He just hoped that would be enough.

Black moved swiftly through the forest, with an easy confidence that Snape could feel envious of when forced to lie flat on his back. From time to time, various creatures cried out in the distance, but none approached, and Black did not seem worried. Snape forced the beasts out of his mind. After all, he was a fully trained wizard, and knew more than a few spells for dealing with hostile creatures. If you can manage to do any of them at the moment, the nasty voice reminded him. You´re awfully weak.

Shut up.

However, Snape knew the voice was right. He wasn´t nearly as dizzy as he had been before, but Apparating had taken all the reserves of strength he had, and an exhausted and dizzy wizard tended to produce uncertain results when casting spells. Not to mention the fact that pain is the easiest way to lose your concentration. Damn Voldemort. I´ve never felt this awful in my life. A thought crossed his mind.

"Why did Dumbledore send you, anyway?" he asked. "And how did he know where I was?"

"Dumbledore didn´t send me."

"What?" Lifting his head, Snape stared at him incredulously. But then he started thinking, and everything started to make sense. "Wait a minute. You were at the Weasleys´. I thought I recognized the signature in those wards. They were yours."

"Mine and Remus´, yes," Black replied, glancing over his shoulder at him. "You are good. We thought we covered that well."

"You did," Snape admitted grudgingly, trying to figure out if Black had just complimented him or not. Pushing that thought aside, he continued. "So you´re the one who Dumbledore sent after Potter. Why didn´t you just so with the Weasleys?" He had to ask, even though it made him slightly uncomfortable. "Why did you come after me?"

Black was silent for a long moment before finally responding, his eyes on the forest once more. "You risked your life to save Harry´s," he said quietly. "I wasn´t going to let you die."

"After the history we´ve had?" Snape scoffed.

"I may not like you, Snape, but that doesn´t mean I feel you deserve to die in Voldemort´s hands," Black replied frankly.

The honest response threw the Death Eater off balance. Searching for a response, he finally settled on sarcasm to cover his discomfort. "So you think we´re even now for that trick you played, I guess? Feel that by saving my life you can erase the fact that you tried to kill me once?"

His words made Black stop and stare at him. The other´s face was unreadable, but Snape had a pretty good idea that he was struggling to hold his temper in check. Good. I owe you enough anxiety to last a lifetime, he thought irritably. I hope you feel guilty about that. Bastard. The other man´s jaw was working furiously, and Snape wished he´d just get it out and start moving again before someone found them. Finally, Black spoke.

"If you haven´t figured out by now that it was a stupid, adolescent trick that wasn´t meant to do anything but scare you, you´re more dense and less mature than I think you are," he responded. "And no, that´s not why I saved you. I saved you because I respect what you´ve done in the fight against Voldemort. You have sacrificed an awful lot, and I respect that, too. And I owe you for saving Harry´s life."

Well, that certainly wasn´t the angry response Snape had expected, and it threw him off-balance enough that he couldn´t reply. He just stared. So did Black, who met his eyes, for once with no arrogance and no condensation. There was no trace of the overconfident boy from Hogwarts in his stance or his face, only a man whom Snape did not recognize at all. They looked at one another for long moments in silence.

"I will probably never like you, Snape," Sirius Black admitted. "But I can respect you and your abilities." Without warning, he held out his right hand.

"Dumbledore asked us to make a truce once, but we both know neither of us really meant it. But he was right. We are on the same side. I propose we make that truce now."

Snape opened his mouth to say no but stopped. That was a knee-jerk reaction, born out of years of hatred--was it really worthy of him? He had changed since his days at Hogwarts in some very important ways; was it impossible to believe that Black might have to? And even if not, did that matter? He´s right, Snape finally admitted to himself. We are on the same side. Dumbledore said that, but I wasn´t really listening. He shot a glance at his rescuer, and felt ironically amused. At least I wasn´t the only one. Reaching up, he took Sirius Black´s hand.

"Truce," Snape replied.

Black smiled ever so slightly. "Truce."

Their handshake was a little longer than the one in the Hospital Wing had been all those months ago, and this time, at least Snape didn´t feel like he was going to get a heavy case of the boils out of touching the other man. Moments later, Black was moving forward once again, and Snape felt the stretcher pick up speed as it followed him. The continued in silence, but this time it wasn´t nearly as uncomfortable as it had been before. Sighing quietly, Snape stared up at the sky and started wondering what new kinds of students he would get in Slytherin this year. It was an old exercise, but not one he´d allowed himself to indulge in before now. Probably because I didn´t think I´d live to see them, he admitted inwardly.

He felt oddly free. Obviously, he could not return to the fold now, and for the first time in many years, he felt that his life was his own. It belonged to him. No one else. It felt very strange, but also very good. Intellectually, of course, he knew that his betrayal of Voldemort made him a target, but he could accept that. He could accept being hunted by Death Eaters everywhere he went, because he knew that Voldemort´s defeat would end it. And now he could act freely against the Dark Lord; he didn´t have creep in shadows or live a lie. Finally, he was free.

"Hey, look, it´s a werewolf," Black suddenly commented, bringing him out of his reverie.

"What? Where?" Snape grabbed for his wand. Even as he got a hold on it, though, he knew he´d been had. Black was laughing.

"Black, you bastard!" He looked around for something to throw at the other man, but couldn´t find anything other than his wand. At that moment, he would have given absolutely anything to be able to strangle the other wizard. Finally, Black looked over his shoulder at him, his eyes dancing, but gaining control of his mirth.

"You need a sense of humor, Severus," he grinned.

"Bastard," Snape hissed, but in the face of the other man´s grin, he sighed. "Fine, you got me. Are you satisfied?"

"Not until you learn how to take a joke," Black called over his shoulder, moving again.

"Never," he growled.

"Don´t challenge me, Snape!"

"Bastard."

They moved along in silence for another ten minutes or so, and Snape estimated that they had to be at least halfway to the school by now. Again, he glanced at the sky, trying to judge the time, but it was hard. I hope we arrive before or after the Sorting Ceremony, he thought to himself. I really don´t want to wander into a gaggle of undisciplined first years on their way to the castle.

"Snape?" Black´s voice interrupted his thought process.

"Hmm?" he grunted.

"Why´d you do it?"

The seriousness in the other´s voice made Snape sigh. There was only one question Black could be asking, and Black was probably the only person stupid enough to ask. No one else ever dared. "Why did I betray Voldemort, you mean?"

"Yes."

He supposed he could refuse to answer, but there seemed to be no point. The man had saved his life, after all, and another argument would do them no good. That would only slow their pace, and in the end, Snape figured that he could survive the question. It wasn´t like he hadn´t asked it of himself a million and one times before. Surprisingly enough, though, Black did not goad him; he only waited until Snape was ready to speak. Despite himself, he sighed again.

"I got tired of pretending that I liked it," he answered quietly. "I realized that I did not enjoy watching people suffer. Power wasn´t all it claimed to be."

"You never did seem the type," Black agreed after a moment.

"What?" Snape stared at his back in confusion.

Black shrugged. "You were a jerk, sure, but you were never, I don´t know...dark enough. You seemed to be trying too hard."

"I´ll take that in the spirit it was intended," Snape snorted, unable to find anything else to say.

They continued in silence for another minute or two, but a question had started to eat at Snape´s mind, and he began wondering if he should ask. It was something he´d always wondered about and had never been able to understand, and since they seemed to be playing the question and answer game (it was amazing what a lonely walk through a dark forest would do), he supposed that he might as well ask.

"My turn," he said suddenly, and almost bit his tongue off. He hadn´t meant to speak yet!

"For what?"

Snape rolled his eyes. Wasn´t it obvious? "To ask a question."

"And?" Black prompted. His voice sounded slightly wary. Good.

"Why didn´t you three ever turn him in?"

He thought he saw Black´s shoulders tense. He asked, "Remus?"

"Yes."

"Because it´s not his fault that he´s a werewolf," Black replied immediately. "And because he´s a good man. People have always ostracized him for what he is without looking beyond that to see who he is. That´s wrong, and it´s not fair to him. Every day except for the full moon, he is a smart and likeable guy, but what happens once a month is enough to make nearly everyone fear him, even people who should know better."

Snape wondered if that last part was aimed at him, but he brushed by it. "He´s dangerous."

"Only once a month."

"You became Animagi for him. All three of you," Snape said incredulously. "You could have gotten yourselves killed doing that. Whatever possessed you to try it?"

"Friendship."

He rolled his eyes. "Nothing´s that simple."

"Isn´t it?"

"Everyone has ulterior motives," Snape replied.

"Then what was yours for betraying Voldemort and turning into a spy?" Sirius countered.

"I wanted out," Snape brushed his piercing words away. "I did that for myself."

"If you just wanted out, you could have run," the other pointed out.

"And died."

"And being a spy held less chance of that? You can´t tell me that. You knew exactly what you were risking, and you chose to do it anyway. You almost paid the price for that tonight." Black looked over his shoulder at him again. "What´s the ulterior motive there?"

Snape looked at him crossly. He growled, "I did it because it was the right thing to do."

"My point exactly. Some things are that simple," Black said softly, and Snape stared at him irritably. Why did the bastard have to be right? The other man smiled slightly. "You should have been a Gryffindor, Snape."

"What?" he gawked, almost choking on his own tongue. Snape felt like his eyes were going to bug out of his head. He´d never been so insulted in his life! It was a long moment before he could manage to speak, and even then, his voice was a low snarl. "I´m sure you meant that as a compliment, Black, but if it´s all the same to you, I´ll stay in Slytherin."

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Author´s Note: I apologize to everyone who tried to read and couldn´t...FFN´s uploader was down. Thanks for your patience. Well, their troubles aren´t over quite yet, but stay tuned for the students´ arrival at Hogwarts...and a few others surprises besides. Thanks for reading, and please review!