The Petals of the Moon

Remus was interrupted from his reflections when there was a knock at the door, and he heard Sirius' voice. "Hey, Remus, are you in there?"

Remus gave no reply. He went over to the door, locked it, and returned to his spot.

"Remus?" asked Sirius. Remus hoped that Sirius wouldn't use the Alohamora charm and open the door.

But Sirius had given up. He walked away, saying, "Maybe he went outside..."

After Sirius left, Remus' thoughts went right back to his memories. His sixth year. The year that it all began, the year Lily found out that he was a werewolf....

It was after dinner one night and Remus was in the library, doing his studying. Suddenly, James, Sirius and Peter bounded in, shouting, "Hey! Moony!"

Madam Pince shoved them out of the library, telling them off for disturbing the quiet.

Laughing to himself, Remus picked up his books, put them back in his bag, and left the library to see his friends. "You were shouting?" Remus laughed.

"Moony, you'll never guess what we're going to do!" said James.

"I can't imagine, Prongs. Why don't you just tell me?"

"We're going to sneak into Hogsmeade tonight!" said Sirius. "And we'll go to the Hog's Head and get some Firewhiskey. That bartender wouldn't care at all."

"And then, we're going to go streak across the grounds!" said Peter.

James stared at him. "We are?"

Sirius began talking to cover up for the awkward silence. "So, Moony, are you coming?"

"I think I'll pass," said Remus. "I've got some studying to do."

"Come on, you can study later!" James pleaded.

"No, I really should be doing it now. I'll see you all later."

"Well, alright then. Miss all the fun," said Sirius. "We're leaving now."

"See you."

So Remus went back in the library and studied for a few more hours. When he left the library, it was almost past the sixth year curfew. He didn't see his friends rushing into the castle, and he wondered what they could be up to. He hoped they really weren't going to do Peter's idea. If they did, it would surely be a riot.

When Remus entered the Gryffindor Common Room, it was oddly deserted, except for one person. Lily was asleep on the couch. He figured he might as well wake her and tell her that everyone had gone up, and if she stayed sleeping any longer she might be blown awake by a loud commotion from his friends. After all, Remus was a gentleman. Or rather, a gentlewerewolf.

"Lily?" he said softly, moving her long, dark red hair off her shoulder and tapping her.

Lily's stirred and slowly her eyes opened. "Oh! Hi Remus."

"Er, well, everyone's gone up, and I just came to tell you that," said Remus.

"Oh, thanks," said Lily, sitting up.

"Your welcome. It's just that if you stay here much longer, you might be rudely woken up by my friends."

"They're not here?" Lily asked. "Don't tell them, I said this, but that's nice. I could do with some peace and quiet. They should do this more often. Your usually the one disappearing every month."

"Oh...well...you know. I can't really control the times that I have to leave," said Remus.

"In fact," said Lily, peering at his ill and tired face. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, I am," Remus said quickly, replying automatically to the commonly asked question.

"Really? You just always seem so..."

"I seem so what?"

"Ill."

Remus blushed a little, and tried to change the subject. "Yeah. Well, I suggest you get off to bed now. I would hate to see you have your peace and quiet disturbed."

Lily laughed. "You're just so caring. That's what I like about you."

Remus blushed a little more. "Oh, well, really. There's not that much to like about me."

"Yes there is," Lily protested. "You're kind, and thoughtful. You're never making trouble. You're the top in all of our classes. You're considerate."

"It really ends there though. No one really likes a..." he trailed off, in fear of saying too much.

"Yes?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Remus, is there anything you want to tell me?"

"No, there's nothing. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because-"

"I'm fine!" Remus shouted suddenly. He looked over at Lily's started face, and sighed. He bent over and put his face in his hands. "Oh, no. I'm really sorry Lily," came his muffled voice.

"That's alright," said Lily. "I'm sure you didn't mean it."

"No, I didn't. I didn't mean for any of this to happen at all." Remus took his hands out of his face, and began to think. "Lily," he said slowly. "If, and that is if, I tell you, would you promise not to.... not to scream and run off and tell anyone?"

"Of course," said Lily, wondering what on Earth it could be.

Remus looked her in the eye. "Lily...I..." he found himself saying it to the wall behind her. "I'm a werewolf."

Lily clasped her hands to her mouth, and then let them down slowly. "No...no..." she said as if she didn't believe him. "No, it can't be true."

"It is," said Remus miserably to the wall.

Lily slowly began to stand up, inching away.

"You promised," Remus mumbled.

"Oh, that's right, I did," said Lily, hesitantly inching back.

"No, no. Go ahead and get as far away as you can from me. No one keeps a promise to a werewolf. They never trust them."

Lily looked at him sympathetically. "Remus," she finally said, sitting back down next to him. "I trust you. You're everything a werewolf isn't. Yes, I.... I guess you do turn into a wolf every month. But when you're not, you're not a monster at all. You're just amazing. That's why I..." she trailed off too.

"Yes?" he asked her, politely imitating how she asked him.

She looked at him. "That's why I like you."

"Yes, I know, you said so," said Remus.

"No," Lily said. "I know that James fancies me, but with all that hexing and bullying, I just don't like him. It's you." She smiled at him, and the smile slowly faded.

"You're thinking what's going to happen if you like a werewolf, aren't you? I know you are. Everyone's so prejudiced. You see?"

"I see you," said Lily, her smiled returning.

Remus grinned at her. "See only me."

Lily sang. "Only you, you're the only thing I'll see

Forever

In my eyes, in my words, and in everything I do

Nothing else but you

Ever!"

Remus could have kissed her for not minding his condition, and also loving him. The girl he had been silently admiring for six years.

"And there's nothing for me but Lillian

Every sight that I see is Lillian"

"Remus, Remus..."

"Only you, every thought I'll ever know

Everywhere I go

You'll be!"

"All the world is only you and me!" Lily looked deeply into his eyes.

"Tonight, tonight

It all began tonight

I saw you and the world went away

Tonight, tonight

There's only you tonight

What you are, what you do, what you say!"

Remus took her hand.

"Today

All day I had the feeling

A miracle would happen

I know now I was right

For here you are

And what was just the world is a star!

Tonight!"

Remus and Lily stood up off the couch, and they had wrapped their arms around each other without even noticing it.

"Tonight, tonight

The world is full of light

With suns and moons all over the place

Tonight, tonight

The world is wild and bright

Going mad

Shooting sparks into space

Today

The world was just an address

A place for me to live in

No better than alright

But here you are

And what was just the world is a star!

Tonight!"

"I suppose I should get up to bed now," Lily said after a long silence of just looking at Remus. She did not break the eye contact.

"Yeah, I suppose I should to," said Remus.

"Before those maniacs come in and disturb our peace and quiet," Lily laughed.

Remus laughed with here. "Exactly."

Lily turned around and started walking up the staircase to her dormitory as Remus went over to retrieve his bag.

About halfway up the stairs, Lily turned around. "Remus!"

Remus turned around and looked at her. "Yes?"

"I promise that even if you are a werewolf, I'll always love you."

"I'll love you too."

They went back to their current tasks, and then Lily called his name again.

"Yes, Lily?"

"When...well, if you don't mind my asking....when were you...when did you..."

"When did I get the bite?" Remus suggested.

Lily nodded.

"I was five," he said. "My parents took me to St. Mungo's, but they couldn't do anything about it...it had already spread..."

"Oh..." Lily said.

Then were silent some more, and it wasn't until Lily reached the top of the stairs and Remus was about to walk up them that Lily spoke.

"Remus?"

Remus stepped back from the stairs so he could look up at Lily. He smiled at her.

Lily smiled back. "Goodnight, Remus."

"Good night, Lily."

They looked deeply at each other again.

"Goodnight, goodnight

Sleep well and when you dream

Dream of me

Tonight..."

It had been one of the happiest moments of Remus' life.

The night after Remus had told Lily, they suppressed smiles at each other during the day. Remus absolutely refused to tell James what had gone on, and he wasn't planning on telling anyone at all. It would be kept secret.

So both Remus and Lily acted like nothing had happened. James and Sirius would go and bully Snape, Peter would watch with anticipation, Remus would remain silent, and Lily would go over and tell him off. James would ask Lily out, and she would reply, like she had always, 'No'.

They couldn't exactly do much with their secret romance. With it being secret, there was simply nothing that could really be done. James or Sirius or Peter or someone would always be around, making it impossible for them to just freely talk with one another.

Until one day, Remus finally worked it out.

"Er...Lily?" he said as he and the rest of the Marauders passed Lily in the hall.

"Yes?" she asked, acting as if there was nothing that was going on between them.

"I didn't exactly understand the Charms homework," he made up. "I was wondering if you could meet me in the library tonight and help me with it?"

"Sure, Re-"

"What? You didn't understand it!" interrupted Sirius. "We three don't understand it either! And because you're supposed to understand it, how are we going to do the assignment now?"

"Hey, why don't we all come?" suggested James. "And then we all can understand it.

"Yeah," said Peter.

Lily did some quick thinking. "But...don't you guys have...detention or something?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right, Prongs," said Sirius. "We'll have to copy off Moony's paper later."

"I s'pose so," said James, looking back at Lily.

"We kind of do deserve it though, don't we?" said Peter.

"Yeah...." said Sirius. "But you have to admit, gluing Mrs. Norris to the ceiling was a good one."

"Yeah!" said James. "She's nearly bald now! We'll be in detention for weeks."

"You really did miss out on a good one," Sirius said to Remus. "It's too bad you were in the..." He glanced at Lily quickly, and then back to Remus. "Er...library."

"Maybe I'll see it next time, then," said Remus, trying to restrain a laugh. "Come on, we're going to be late."

Eventually, all the classes of that day were over, and there was a while until dinner. Remus was up in his dormitory sitting on his bed when the thought occurred to him. He would need James' Invisibility Cloak for what he was really planning.

"Prongs?" he asked, turning over to face him. "Can I borrow your Invisibility Cloak?"

"Why?" asked James, stunned.

"Because I...want to go down to the kitchens and ask the house-elves if I can have some chocolate," Remus made up. I certainly am doing a lot of lying for this, he thought to himself. "Because you know...the full moon will be coming in about a week...and I just fancied some chocolate..."

"Alright," said James. He opened his trunk and carefully lifted out the soft, silky cloak. "You can have it before I go to detention. I just want to poke Snivellus in the back at dinner..."

Later, Lily sat in the library with her Charms homework and book, waiting for Remus to come in the library. Soon after she wondered where he was, he appeared walking over to her table, crossing his arms as he walked, appearing as if he was trying to hide something down the front of his robes.

"What are you trying to hide?" Lily asked. "And where are your books?"

Remus smiled at her embarrassedly. "We're not really studying, I actually do understand the Charms homework. It was just a secret code to get you to meet me tonight."

"Well then," said Lily, putting her book back into her bag. "Where are we going, Mr. Lupin?"

Remus looked around the library to make sure that nobody was watching, then pulled out the Invisibility Cloak. "Come on, under here!"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see, just come on!"

Lily went under the Invisibility Cloak as well, and Remus led her out of the library, down the hall, out of the castle, and across the grounds.

"You don't let anything get to you, do you?" Lily giggled as the walked.

"Well, I try not to."

Lily's giggles began to slow down when she saw that he was taking her to the Whomping Willow. "Remus, what are you doing?"

"It'll be alright, we'll be fine," Remus comforted her.

"No, Remus, that is a really violent tree, what are you going to do?"

"Stay there," Remus told her. He came out of the Invisibility Cloak, picked up a long stick on the ground, then went over to the willow and used the stick to press the knot on the trunk.

The Whomping Willow froze.

"Wow, Remus, what did you do?" she asked curiously.

"Come on, over here," he said, putting the stick on the knot of the trunk. Lily crossed over and sat down next to him, then looked at the willow. "What's all this about?"

Remus took a deep breath. "Lily. This is...well...when I transform, I go through the tunnel that's under this tree to the Shrieking Shack. And all that noise in there...it's me. And the reason this willow is here and acts so violently...it's me. And...and I just wanted to tell you that."

Lily smiled at him. "I didn't know. It's just amazing. So everything that's been going on here every month has always been you?"

"Yeah," he said. He leaned back on the trunk and looked toward the sky. The dark night sky, the stars, the moon. A half-moon. "And this is what I see all of those nights. Well, the moon is full, of course, but..."

Lily looked at it too. They just sat there looking at the sky for a while, until Remus remembered something and pulled something out of the pocket of his robes. "Here," he said, handing it to Lily.

Lily took it, and it turned out to be a box.

"Open it," he said.

Lily did open it, and inside it turned out to be a beautiful emerald bracelet. The stones glimmered in the moonlight.

"Remus...I...I don't know what to say. Thank you!" she said.

"Your welcome," he said. He took the bracelet out of the box and then slipped it on her wrist. "Beautiful."

As was the moment. If only it could have last forever.