The Petals of the Moon

As Remus sat in the room, he tried to forget it. He tried to ignore it. He tried to remember it as one of the worst things that had ever happened to him in the entirety of his life, like becoming a werewolf.

But the fact was, no matter how hard he tried, he could not forget how much he loved Lily Evans.

He sighed. He just kept on forgetting. Not Lily Evans anymore. Lily Potter.

James had married Lily a little over a week ago, and James had immediately invited Remus, Sirius, and Peter to stay at he and Lily's new house so they could have some sort of celebration.

So here Remus was, sitting in the room that was his. He didn't have a clue where anyone else was, but he didn't care because he wanted to be alone, and he didn't want anyone to disturb him. Well, actually, he wouldn't mind it if Lily disturbed him...

Remus sighed again. He had to stop thinking like this. Lily was married now, and that was that. He wished had never learned how to love and have that love returned in the first place.

It had all begun back at Hogwarts....

Remus was in his first year at Hogwarts. He was always rather quiet and nervous, because now that he had gotten some friends, he didn't want to give them any reason to leave him, especially with his condition.

James was like a born leader. Sirius was too, but James basically owned the group. So when James had decided that Lily was the girl for him even though she had showed no interest, there was no arguing with him. James was convinced that Lily would turn onto him eventually.

The first time Remus had seen Lily, he thought she was very pretty. He admired how she would always stick up for people. She seemed very down to Earth, and she, like Remus, enjoyed reading and her classes. James was different as can be.

As the years at Hogwarts went by, James would continue to unintentionally pester Lily, and she would be annoyed at him. Remus never spoke a word of his own affection for Lily, though he was a little more talkative and easygoing now that his friends had found out he was a werewolf and didn't really care.

The fifth year at Hogwarts came, and he was very grateful that James, Sirius and Peter had become Animagi and accompanied him on every full moon. James and Sirius had become very advanced in hexes, and went around hexing everyone, especially Snape. If Lily was around, she would come and tell them off. Remus never did a thing, because really, he didn't want to do something wrong. So he would just watch.

Countless times that year, James would ask out Lily, and just as many countless times, she would say no and sometimes slap him. Remus just didn't see any hope for the two, and it seemed Sirius eventually agreed.

"Bad luck, Prongs. How many times have you been turned down by her?" he would say.

When the sixth year came, James didn't speak about Lily at all during the beginning of the year. He talked about how cool it was that Sirius had moved in with him. Remus dared to hope that James had forgotten about Lily. But he knew he was clearly wrong when he heard James singing in the hallway about Lily.

"Lily..." Remus heard James say.

The most beautiful sound I ever heard

Lillian, Lillian, Lillian, Lillian...

All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word:

Lillian, Lillian, Lillian, Lillian...

Lillian, Lillian...

Lillian!

I just love a girl named Lillian

And I just know that name

Will never be the same

To me

Lillian!

Wished to kiss a girl named Lillian

And suddenly I've found

How wonderful a sound

Can be!

Lillian!

Say it loud and there's music playing
Say it soft and it's almost like praying
Lillian!
I'll never stop saying Lillian!

Lillian!

I just love a girl named Lillian

And I just know that name

Will never be the same

To me

Lillian!

Wished to kiss a girl named Lillian

And suddenly I've found

How wonderful a sound

Can be!

Lillian!

Say it loud and there's music playing
Say it soft and it's almost like praying
Lillian!
I'll never stop saying Lillian!

The most beautiful sound I ever heard
Lillian..."

When James wandered off dreamily, Remus walked off in the other direction. James still loved Lily. And therefore, Lily was off limits. Forever.

It was just a far off dream that would never come true.