The Man You Truly Are

The afternoon was upon Hogwarts School and most students were taking advantage of a trip to Hogsmeade. While some teachers stayed at the school, some teachers went to Hogsmeade as well, but Professor Remus Lupin was going to his office. And for the last time, he thought. He had resigned not long ago, he had to. Nobody's parents would want someone like him teaching. And the students probably wouldn't want him teaching either.

And they had good reason. After all, Remus had transformed last night, and he hadn't become the harmless wolf he normally turned into. He had forgotten his potion and had actually become quite vicious. He had thrown Sirius down the hill, for God's sake. What would have happened if he had done something to Harry, Ron, or Hermione?

Come to think of it, he thought as he stepped into his office, he nearly had. As he began packing his things, he recalled last night, though he could only remember bits and pieces of what happened after he transformed.

It was late that night, and as Remus came out of the tunnel, he had a brief glance of Sirius and Harry talking. Ron and Hermione were also talking, and as Peter came out of the tunnel, he threw himself at them.

"Kind master, wasn't I a good rat? Sweet girl, clever girl, you won't let this happen, will you? Please, don't!"

"Oh, get up Peter," said Remus, pulling him up and dragging him away from Ron and Hermione. His wand was still pointed at Peter, who was still being very fidgety.

"Remus, no! You wouldn't do this to your friend, would you? I didn't mean to!" Peter complained.

"Peter, if it wasn't for Harry, Sirius and I would have killed you, and you know it. And there you were deciding that being handed to the dementors was a much better thing for you," Remus said.

"But I don't deserve either of these!" Peter whined. "It wasn't my fault! He made me!"

"That's enough excuses. You know what you did, and you know that-"

"Harry!" came Hermione's voice sounding shrill and panicky.

Remus turned to look at her. There was a frightened expression on her face and she was pointing to something beyond Peter and himself. Harry, Ron, Peter, and Sirius were now looking as well.

Remus turned to look, and saw the moon, the bright, silver, full moon, emerging from behind a cloud.

And it began.

His pupils were dilating, and the only thing he could feel was extreme pain. It was torture. He could vaguely hear Sirius saying, "Remus, my dear friend, did you take your potion tonight?"

No, he hadn't, how could he have forgotten? There was so much going on in the day, but still...He dropped his wand, he was becoming less and less aware of what was going on and whom he was.

He felt like just falling apart and dying, it had to be better than this. Remus grabbed the nearest thing to him, which turned out to be Sirius, and held him for support.

And just when he thought the pain couldn't get worse, it did. The back of his shirt was ripping open and his claws were forming, and Sirius had started banging on his heart, yelling, "You live in this heart, Remus, this heart! You know the man you truly are!"

Man he truly was...what was that? It did numb the pain, but only a little, he was still losing himself, fading...

And finally, he was fully transformed. He staggered a bit, his mind was spinning, the words, "You know the man you truly are!" echoing around his head as a girl stepped toward him.

"Professor? Professor Lupin?" the girl said uncertainly.

Professor Lupin. The man he truly was.

But that was his last relatively human thought. He saw the moon again, and howled, the wolf taking over.

Remus ran his hand through his graying hair, and then walked over to his record player, which he had not yet put away. He turned on a jazz song. Jazz always helped him clear his mind a little.

What had Sirius been doing last night? It was a very stupid thing to do, but yet Remus liked it all the same. It had helped him. It had almost been as if he wasn't cursed to this forever at all.

He walked over to his desk to stack some of his books, and glanced at the Marauder's Map. Harry was coming. Probably coming to see why I resigned, he thought. Well really, this can never happen again.

Remus went back to clearing his shelf. The night really could have been much worse, but thanks to Sirius, he luckily hadn't attacked anyone. Thanks to Sirius, he had finally worked out the truth of what really happened thirteen years ago.

And thanks to Sirius, he had remembered for a moment who he truly was.

Remus John Lupin.