One Last Day In Paradise

It had all pretty much gone downhill since he'd graduated from Hogwarts. Sure, he was an intelligent, kind, charming guy, but Remus Lupin's life after Hogwarts didn't look very promising. The fact remained that he was still a werewolf, and to everyone werewolf equaled monster which equaled killer which equaled dangerous.

And true, werewolves were dangerous. But that was only once a month, and other than that, Remus was always a sweet guy.

Unfortunately, his sweetness wasn't enough to cover up that he was a werewolf. He had applied for numerous jobs, and had been turned down by all of them for the reason that he was a werewolf. He'd even applied for one job not mentioning that he was a werewolf, but they weren't willing to give him a day or two off every month for reasons that they hadn't and wouldn't be told.

So Remus was left poor and unemployed. He didn't have enough money to buy himself a house, let alone some new robes, so he was living with Sirius. Sirius said it wasn't a problem, but everyday, Remus felt it was.

And it wasn't like Remus had a good love life to take his mind off things. He didn't even have a love life. Well, he sort of had, once, but no one had ever known about it and it had never been anything serious. Lily Evans just didn't seem to care for him anymore. And now she had James as her boyfriend. And while James had been and still was one of Remus' best friends, he still couldn't help but feel jealous and slightly angry when James and Lily were together.

He had been thinking about how they were one morning as he sat in the kitchen when an owl came and delivered The Daily Prophet. Remus found the money for the paper on the counter, paid the owl, and then began to read.

Not long after that, Sirius came in the kitchen with a letter in his hand. "Hey Moony, Prongs and Lily are getting married."

Getting married? They were getting married? Well, Remus should be happy for them, right? No. But it would be so mean for him to be rude. He really should be happy, and overjoyed, he should be-

"No!" Remus burst out.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"Oh...nothing. Just a sad story in The Daily Prophet," Remus lied.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. "Where? Can I see?"

"No...it's too...sad," Remus said, folding up the paper and putting it down. "Now what were you saying?"

"James and Lily are getting married."

"That's great," said Remus, trying to think quickly. "So...when is it?"

"In about a month they hope. They're even planning it so that it doesn't happen around the full moon," said Sirius with a teasing grin on.

"That's even better," said Remus, now kind of wishing the wedding would be on the full moon.

"You wanna see the letter?" Sirius asked, holding it out.

"Yeah...sure." Remus took the letter and started reading as Sirius went about the kitchen making bacon and eggs.

Dear Padfoot and Moony began the letter. It was obviously written by James. Remus had been sort of hoping Lily was the writer.

Hey! How's it going? The greatest thing happened last night. I proposed to Lily, and she said yes! See, I told you she liked me and would eventually marry me. So we're already planning it all out, and the wedding will be in about a month hopefully. You're both invited, of course. Don't worry, Moony. It won't be around the full moon. Oh, and speaking of that, I hope you'll be all right this week since it's the week of the full moon.

Your friend,

Prongs, who will soon make Lily Evans become Lily Potter

Remus frowned at the way James had signed the letter. It had been bad enough, was that really necessary? It technically wasn't James' fault though. He didn't know how angry Remus would feel by reading that letter. He didn't even know that Remus still fancied Lily.

Once upon a year gone by

He saw himself give in

Every time he closed his eyes

He saw what could have been

Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds

When covers tucked in tight

Funny when the bottom drops

How he forgets to fight...to fight

Remus put the letter on the table and sat back down, thinking for a while. Then he stood back up. He wanted to just go...go and be alone.

"Sirius, I'm just going to go lie down...er, I'm feeling sick again, it's the moon, you know..."

Sirius looked up from the bacon he was putting on his own plate. "Sure you'll be okay? Want some bacon?"

"No, I think I'll just go..." and Remus walked off. He reached the door to his own room and went in, closing the door behind him. He then went over to his bed and fell back onto it.

James and Lily...Lily...Potter...Lily Potter...Remus sighed. Well...at least she would be happy he supposed. She was much better off with James than himself. James would be able to give her everything she desired, and that was good, wasn't it? Who would really want to spend their life with a poor old werewolf? It didn't matter anymore...nothing did...there was nothing that would change.

As darkness quickly steals the light

That shined within his eyes

He slowly swallows all his fear

And soothes his mind with lies

Well all he wants and all he needs

Are reasons to survive

A day in which the sun will take

His artificial light...his light

He would just have to live with it and let go...but some things were just...hard...and so different from what they could be but really were.

"Still on about it?"

Remus sat up, startled. He hadn't said those words. It turned out to be Sirius, who was finishing a piece of bacon, daring to bother him while he was in his thoughts.

"Sirius!" Remus gasped, his voice turning stern. "Do not do that again! Knock next time!

"Well, I would have, but I figured that you were in your angsty mood and wouldn't let me in," Sirius said.

"No, I wouldn't have. So what do you want?"

"I was sitting there eating my bacon when the thought occurred to me that you became mad after I told you James and Lily were getting married. And so, I thought about it a bit more, and figured out that it's not the moon that's bothering you. I mean, it probably is, but that's not the only thing."

Don't pretend to hold it in just let it out

"Oh...really..." Remus said. "Well, it's actually nothing."

Don't pretend to hold it in just push it out

"Well then why are you sitting here moping around?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not moping around!" said Remus. "I'm just..."

Don't you try to hold it in just let it out and

"Look, just say it, alright? What you're doing to yourself is worse."

Don't you try to hold it in you hold it in

"Okay! I...love Lily! And I'm not exactly thrilled that they're getting married!" said Remus in a strange and rarely seen yell. "There! Are you satisfied now?"

"I wasn't asking to be satisfied, I was asking you to be open with yourself!" Sirius told him.

"I've opened, then! Now please, Sirius, go, just go..." said Remus in a pained voice. "Go and eat your bacon, taking away the pigs' lives like mine has been taken."

"Remus-"

"Go! Please, leave me alone..."

Sirius walked over to the door, giving a worried look at Remus before he left, closing the door.

Remus lay back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. That was it; there was nothing else to be done for. Lily Evans was gone, and he would just have to get used to Lily...Potter.

One more day in paradise

One more day in paradise

And it's one more day in paradise

One last chance to feel alright

Once upon a year gone by

He saw himself give in

Every time he closed his eyes

He saw what could have been.