If I Lighten Up A Little Bit

Before, it felt like she didn't have enough time on her hands. But now that she had more time, it felt like she had no time at all.

It was a weekend afternoon, and for thirteen-year-old Hermione Granger, that meant one thing: hours in the library doing homework, reading textbooks, and studying. She would sit in a corner of the library, surrounded by piles of parchment and stacks of books. Hermione knew she was exhausted with all the work, but it had all seemed a lot easier when she had Harry and Ron as friends.

But now Ron had to start acting stupid and accuse Crookshanks of eating Scabbers. And Harry, being Ron's best friend, had agreed with him. Of course he would agree, they just made everything out to be her fault, didn't they?

Concentrate, Hermione told herself, focus on your schoolwork. Even so, Hermione hadn't been raising her hand in class as often as she used to. Sometimes she found her attention slipping away from her during class...

"Oh no," Hermione moaned, pushing and moving books and papers. "Where's my Ancient Ruins book gone off to?"

I must have forgotten it in the dormitory, she thought. Great. Now she would have to go all the way back and get it. Being that she was done with nearly everything else, Hermione decided that she would return her other books and homework when she got her book so she wouldn't have as much to carry.

So, Hermione crammed all of her books and homework into her large book bag. Even with it being so big, she could barely fit her things in it; the bag wouldn't close. Heaving it over her shoulder, she slumped out of the library and down the hall.

It was not long after that her book bag broke, and everything came spilling out, and one book fell on her foot.

"Oh, great!" she muttered hysterically, and began scrambling around on the ground for everything.

"Hermione?" someone asked.

Hermione looked up into the tired and very ill face of her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin. "Oh, hi, Professor." She turned back to her things and began trying to stack up some things and carry them.

"Here, let me help you with that," said Lupin, bending down and picking up several of her things.

"Thanks," said Hermione. "My bad just broke now."

"I'm not surprised," Lupin smiled. "You've got an excessive amount of books there."

"I've got more up in my dormitory," said Hermione, sounding close to hysterics again. "And I've still got to do Ancient Ruins, read a book for Muggle studies, and I've just go so much to do!"

"I thought so," said Lupin. "You really haven't been answering many questions in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"I know, I know," said Hermione apologetically.

"It's nothing to be sorry about. I see you've got enough to be getting on with," he said, nodding at the books. "Would you like to take a brief break from your work and just come to my office and talk?"

"Uh, sure," said Hermione.

"Come on, I'll carry these for you," said Lupin, and he set off for his office with half of Hermione's things, Hermione at his side. She smiled to herself. Lupin just had a way of knowing when a person most needed to sit down and talk. And she was sure it would comfort her, as Lupin was the most understanding teacher in the school.

How could you know

That behind my eyes a sad girl cried

And how could you know

That I hurt so much inside

How could you know

That I'm not the average girl

I'm carrying the weight of the world, yeah

So can you get me out of here

Lupin opened the door of his office and set Hermione's books on a table. "You can put your things here if you like. Tea?"

"Sure," said Hermione, leaving her things on the table. "Er, Professor, I wasn't interrupting you in the middle of anything, was I?"

"No," said Lupin. "I was just on my way to get a potion to help me feel better, but that can wait."

"Thanks again, then," Hermione said. She sat down in a chair and began thinking as Lupin made tea. She had a feeling she knew what that potion was for. Not long ago, she had figured out that he was a werewolf, but she hadn't told him, of course. There were times when she felt kind of scared of him, but then she would see again what a kind man he was. Hermione wondered if Lupin ever felt as stressed as she did, but if so, he never let it show. She was sure he must, and wondered if he sometimes wanted to get away from everything like she did.

Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive 'til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So I can forget about this mess

If I lighten up a little bit

Then I will be

Over it

"So, what's on your mind?" Lupin asked, handing her a chipped mug of tea and also sitting down.

"Well, Professor, first there's Harry and Ron. They won't speak to me anymore because they think my cat, Crookshanks, ate Ron's rat, Scabbers. Actually, Harry still talks to me, but he still sides with Ron. They're always saying things are my fault. They both thought it was my fault when the Firebolt got taken away to be checked for possible jinxes from Sirius Black."

There was a soft clunk as Lupin slightly dropped his mug at Hermione's last few words.

"Hermione, being that they're both boys they're more likely to side with each other than with you. Why are they convinced Crookshanks ate Scabbers?"

"Because Ron found blood on his sheets and some of Crookshanks' fur on the floor. And Crookshanks has always been chasing Scabbers, but all cats chase rats."

"True," said Lupin. "But if Ron is wrong, he might never admit it, especially if he has a high male ego. In time you might sort this one out."

"And then," Hermione continued, "there's my schedule. Everyday I have so much work. That's all I ever do. In the morning I wake up early and go to the library, and at night I stay up late doing work in the Gryffindor Common Room."

"Perhaps you should just give up one of your extra subjects," said Lupin simply.

"Professor, I couldn't do that!"

"But, if you're struggling to keep up with everything, you should. It's not worth being overworked this year and the next for as well. I know you like to do so much, Hermione, but one person can't do everything."

"I guess I see what you mean," said Hermione.

I'm playing the role

Of the happy girl

But no one knows

Inside I'm alone

But I would never let it show

I get everyday

Too much work and not enough play

Over and over

It's always the same

Yeah

But you can make everything okay

"Professor," said Hermione, after taking another sip of tea. "Did you...did you ever feel really stressed at school? You know, sort of like I am?"

"Yes," said Lupin. "Most everyone goes through a hard time, unless they're very lucky. It may take a while, but eventually it will pass."

"Did you ever just want to run away from everything?"

"There were a few times," said Lupin, and his eyes were no longer looking at Hermione, but looking as if he was reflecting back into an old memory. "And running away seemed just the thing to do. But I didn't, because I enjoyed Hogwarts so much."

Hermione guesses that he wasn't talking about being stressed over homework if he said he still enjoyed Hogwarts. She wondered what he was thinking about, but knew it wouldn't be very polite to ask. But it was comforting knowing that someone else had felt like her and wanted an escape.

Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive 'til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So I can forget about this mess

If I lighten up a little bit

Then I will be

Over it

Over it...

"You weren't personally thinking of running away, were you?" Lupin asked.

Hermione felt herself blush. "Um...yeah. Sometimes I do. It all seems like a lot."

"And life will," Lupin said. "But running away would only complicate your problems. Not to mention, I don't think the teachers would want their top student to leave." He smiled.

"Thanks, Professor," Hermione said, and smiled too. "I guess I really better get back to my work. But this is what I really needed, someone to talk to, so thanks."

"Not at all. If you ever need to talk to me again, you're welcome to it," Lupin said. "And I'll carry some of that load of yours for you back to Gryffindor Tower."

A minute later, Hermione and Lupin were walking back to Gryffindor Tower, both with arms clutching to many books. Hermione felt a lot better and less hysterical after talking with him. And best of all, Lupin had said that if she ever need to talk to him again, she could.

And when the world is closing in

I can leave it all and just walk away

I can always start all over again

I am closer to a better day

They had soon reached the Tower. Hermione said the password, then said, "hold on" to Lupin, and went inside and put the things she was carrying on a table, and then came back out.

"I really appreciated this," said Hermione, taking her other things from Lupin.

"No trouble at all, and good luck with that homework," he added.

"Oh, I'll finish it in a few hours."

"Well, I'll see you in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hermione."

"Bye, Professor Lupin," said Hermione, and he strode off down the hall and out of sight.

Hermione reentered the common room, put her things on her table, then went to get her Ancient Ruins book and came back, feeling relieved. She realized that what she had wanted was an escape from her life, and Lupin had just given it to her. For a while, she had felt free, like Lupin had taken away her worries.

Take me away

Take me away

Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive 'til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So I can forget about this mess

If I lighten up a little bit

Then I will be

It was now seemingly less of a load, and now more time. Refreshed, Hermione began her work again.

If I lighten up a little bit

Then I will be

Over it

Over it

I am over it.