Journey to Passion

Chapter Three - The First Kiss

It wasn't easy for Snape to put Jessica out of his mind. It was as if an image of her innocent, blissful face had been tattooed to the back of his eyelids. Every time he closed his eyes he would see her there in front of him wearing the most inconsolable look he had ever seen. His harsh words had truly hurt her, partly because she didn't deserve the slander, and partly because she was only trying to befriend him. It was foolish for him to have blown her off so insensitively. Perhaps he would have taken pleasure in having her company for part of the day. At least then he wouldn't have had to sit there alone all afternoon and all evening.

For the simple purpose of avoiding Dumbledore and his impeccable sense of the all-knowing, Snape remained down in the dungeons for the rest of the day. If truth be told, Snape was feeling unusually guilty for the way he had treated the Headmaster's grandniece. He had no intention to allow Dumbledore the opportunity to confront him about the incident until after he'd had a chance to put it straight.

So instead of joining the rest of the professors for an appetizing meal in the Great Hall, Snape sat behind his desk in the Potions classroom trying to think of an appropriate way he could give Jessica the apology she deserved. It had been ages since Snape had apologized to anyone for anything and the task therefore came as a great challenge. It was just something he never felt was necessary before. His angry words were always in order... or at least he thought they were.

This time, however, Snape knew his words were inexcusable. Whatever had gotten into him back in the Slytherin corridor, Snape knew he had to make up for. He couldn't let Jessica go on thinking he believed all of those things about her.

Sure she was sarcastic, but her puns were never meant to offend him. She was a sweet girl and Snape knew it. She was perhaps one of the sweetest young women he had met in a long time, and not to mention the most attractive one, too. Snape remembered how enthralled he was when he first laid eyes on her. His mind was blown away and he felt his jaw nearly dropped to the floor. And when he saw her smile and speak those first words to him, he could have sworn he felt himself float a couple of inches off the floor.

For the first time that evening, Snape found himself wanting to see that image of Jessica when he closed his eyes. With a long sigh, he leisurely fell back into the discomfort of his wooden chair and crossed his arms over his chest before closing his eyes.

Immediately he could see Jessica, and sure enough, she was wearing that broken-hearted look he last saw before driving her off. Even his stone heart shattered at the image. Snape would have done anything to touch his hands to her face and turn that frown into a beautiful smile. As much as he hated to admit it, he enjoyed seeing her smile. Jessica had a beautiful smile to go with a beautiful face. Everything about her was perfect, right down to the fine dimples in her cheeks.

Somewhere in the middle of a dream, Snape imagined all of the things he could have said to Jessica back in the corridor. Instead of being the epitome of abysmal as she had put it, he could have been the gentleman he scarcely opted to be. He could have shown Jessica the way back to the Hospital Wing, or he could have invited her to his quarters for a little while. They could have shared a drink or two and he would have asked to hear more about her life. Besides Dumbledore, there wasn't a single soul living at Hogwarts whose past had ever intrigued Snape. Now Jessica had Snape curiously wanting to know everything about her. Where had she come from? If she wasn't a Muggle, but rather the heir of the greatest wizarding family in the history of wizards, why didn't she know any magic? And why did she have to be so damned beautiful?

Maybe if he had been kind, or at least tolerable, Jessica would have given him an opportunity to get a closer look at those charming green eyes or permission to touch her creamy, ivory skin. There was no fooling; he knew his body was aching to caress his hands all down her body. He'd give his wand if it meant he could have a single moment to hold her warm flesh against his. He'd pamper her face in his hands and smooth his lips across her own.

Although many found it hard to believe, Severus Snape was capable of feeling affection for others just as any other living, breathing man. He certainly didn't feel affection as often as other people, but once in his lifetime was quite enough.

Jessica knew he had red, hot blood flowing through his veins. She'd seen it the first time they'd met. He had his share of masculine need, too. His desire to have a woman by his side or in his bed wasn't exactly a priority, but he was just as hot-blooded as any other man on the grounds of Hogwarts. Perhaps right now he was becoming even more hot-blooded than the rest. He had a fixed vision of himself with Jessica exploring the many fascinating destinations just one warm and passionate kiss could take them.

The image seemed so real it had his blood soaring through his veins at top speed. Every time he pictured Jessica lips gliding over his own, Snape's body temperature kicked up a notch. He could feel his body starting to sweat. The beads of perspiration tickled his skin as they slowly trickled down his forehead.

Snape imagined he could feel Jessica brushing her fingers along his brow and then gazing into his eyes with a look of sheer delight. Her lips curved into a smile and she began to speak.

"I love you, Severus," she whispered to him as she pulled his body even closer to her own. "Hold me, Severus. Hold me close."

"I will," Snape spoke aloud.

Still unwilling to wake from his trace-type fantasy, Snape held his eyes shut and continued to imagine himself beginning to make love to Jessica. Being with her was a wonderful feeling. Being able to touch her and kiss her was a far greater feeling. Nothing Snape had ever experienced before felt this wonderful. It had been a long time since he'd last held a woman, and none of those women held a candle to Jessica.

The gentle touch of her fingers on his burning skin and the sweet nectar of her lips was nothing to be compared to the tainted intimacies of his past. The memories of all the other women were left behind along with the memories of his past life. They were all like that; just Death Eaters, or women who were only in love with the fact that he was a Death Eater. Snape knew Jessica was more than that. She had to be. Her kiss was too pure to be a simple feeling of lust. He could almost hear her soft voice gasping in his ear as he pleased her. The intimacy of their nude flesh rocking against each other in the most sensual embrace felt so right, Snape was certain she was meant to be his.

It all felt so real right up until the moment Snape felt a firm hand tap against his shoulder a couple of times. Snape's head bobbed up immediately and he opened his eyes. All images of Jessica shattered and Snape realized it was all just a dream. He was still at his desk in the Potions classroom and Argus Filch was standing there to his right.

"Excuse me, Professor," the caretaker began, ignoring the stunned look on Snape's face. "The room's due for a cleaning."

Snape wiped the sweat from his forehead and then looked around the classroom. He saw the assembly of cleaning supplies behind Filch and then looked back at the caretaker. He nodded his head and then stood up from his desk. "It's midnight already?" Snape asked, knowing that was the time Filch arrived to clean the Potions classroom.

"Aye," Filch confirmed. "A wee bit after."

Snape nodded and then politely left the classroom to go to bed. It was too late to do anything else. Jessica was probably already asleep. If Snape wanted to apologize to her, it would have to wait until morning.

* * *

The next morning Jessica was up bright and early again. She spent a couple of hours in the Hospital Wing looking after a couple of students until Madam Pomfrey arrived. They ate their breakfast together and then Jessica left to do some more exploring of Hogwarts... far away from where her curiosity had taken her the day before. If Jessica never saw the dungeons of Slytherin again, it was all peaches and cream to her.

After walking through the gardens for a few minutes, Jessica found herself a bench and took a moment to sit and relax. She nestled her back up against the arm of the bench and lifted her feet up onto the opposite end. She picked the bottom of her robes up to cover her legs and then crossed her ankles over each other. She took one long deep breath and then closed her eyes as she sighed.

Jessica kept her eyes closed for a moment and took the time to listen to everything that was happening around her. The birds were chirping, the breeze was blowing and the gentle flow of a stream ran quietly beside her into a small pond. It was a bit lonely, but at the same time Jessica felt more at peace than she had in a long time.

Jessica knew her uncle was right in suggesting she try to make some friends among the staff, but Severus Snape certainly wasn't going to be worth another attempt. He had already made it perfectly clear that she'd only be wasting her time. It may simply have been due to the fact that Snape was prejudice against the way Jessica was raised, or perhaps it was just because she was the Headmaster's grandniece. Either way, Jessica was certain Snape had no interest in befriending her.

Dumbledore may have been one of the most intellectual wizards of all time, but this time Jessica knew he was wrong. He had to be! There was no magnificent man lying beneath that hideous shroud of black who called himself Severus Snape.

Even if such a man did exist, it wasn't worth the time it would take to find the friendlier side of him. In fact, Jessica thought it was a waste of time just thinking about him. He wasn't worth a fraction of her thoughts. Jessica didn't think she needed to worry about what had happened with him yesterday. He was just a miserable man who lived a miserable life devoted to making everyone else feel like they should be miserable, too. What he said to her was just a routine act. Jessica had a way of knowing it was nothing to take personally. So why did she still feel so hurt and disappointed?

"Good morning, Jessica."

She jumped at the shock of hearing her name being called from thin air. Jessica quickly turned her body around and then saw him standing there a couple of feet behind her. She groaned quietly and then rolled her eyes away from him.

It was Snape, and as usual, he was dressed in black from neck to toe. Jessica looked down at his overcoat and noticed that the hole he had burned into it yesterday was gone. Such a thing didn't surprise her though. She wouldn't have even been surprised to discover that the pants he was wearing were the same pair she had torn on Halloween night.

"What brings you out here?" Jessica finally asked. She saw Snape taking a couple of steps closer to her and instantly took her feet off of the bench.

"You did," he said and went around to sit next to her. He folded his arms over his chest and stretched his legs out in front of him. A couple of ebony strands of hair fell from behind his ear and covered most of the side of his face. Although he didn't look at her, Snape continued speaking to Jessica in a moderate tone. "Madam Pomfrey told me I would find you here."

Jessica raised her eyebrows like she didn't care and then crossed her legs away from him. She gently began to bounce her foot up and down. "Then I presume you were up at the Hospital Wing looking for me?" Jessica asked, even though she thought the answer was quite obvious.

"I was there," Snape assured, still refusing to look her in the eye.

"Why did you bother?" Jessica asked. "We've got nothing to say to each other."

Snape began to nod and then tucked his hair back behind his ear before finally turning his head her way. "You are quite mistaken," he said. "I do need to speak to you."

"About what?" Jessica asked.

"About what happened yesterday." The look in Snape's eyes was cold and serious, but at the same time seemed remorseful. Jessica looked back at him and gave him a very curious look. For a few moments their gaze remained fixed. Snape made sure he had Jessica's full attention before he spoke again. "I want to tell you that some of the things I said to you were untrue and uncalled for." Although Jessica swiftly turned her head away from him, Snape kept his eyes fixed on the back of her head, tempted to reach his hand under her chin and turn her back to him. After a moment of her silence, Snape tilted forward slightly until he could see her face again.

The array of emotions he saw flash across Jessica's face made him unsure of whether or not his apology had been accepted or if it had just angered her further. She crossed her hands over her shoulders and then blinked her eyes as if she were expecting a couple of tears to be there to blink away.

"Only some of the things?" she finally asked and looked back at him.

Snape nodded his head and turned his body to face her. The corner of his mouth turned up into a smile again. "Right," he told her. "I do find you annoying, and even you cannot deny that you are sarcastic and meddlesome."

"I'm not angry with you because of the things you called me," Jessica said. "I know I tend to be sarcastic at times, but I'm not arrogant and I'm not spoiled. I don't even know how you found out Albus is my uncle, but if I ever did decided to mention it, it wouldn't have been in order to gain advantage over you or anybody else."

Snape nodded in agreement. "I know," he said. "I don't believe you are spoiled like I once thought. I should not have said anything of the sort." His eyes finally turned away from hers. Snape thought of all the things he still wanted to tell her but now that she was really here in front of him, Snape found himself lacking the courage to voice the words he had been rehearsing in the silence of his mind all morning. He'd thought of everything he needed to tell her earlier that morning, only now his mind was left blank.

"Is that all you have to say to me?" Jessica asked, knowing that he needed the encouragement to continue with his apology.

"No," Snape began. "I would like to take back what I said about not liking you. When I told you up at the Hospital Wing that you're all right, I meant it." His sentences were spoken slowly and in an almost broken pattern. Jessica watched him carefully knowing that his struggle to speak was completely due to the fact that everything he was telling her was coming from the bottom of his heart. Although he couldn't quite look her in the eye, Jessica knew Snape was telling her the truth. He did like her.

"You had no right to say those things about my family," Jessica continued, remembering that those were the words that had truly hurt her. "You don't know anything about my parents nor anything about how I was raised."

"No, I don't," Snape agreed and turned his head to look at her again. "But I would like to know. If you want, I am willing to listen. We can trade stories with each other like we would have yesterday if I hadn't gone off on you."

"What makes you think I want to tell you anything about myself?" Jessica asked crudely. "You're a perfect stranger, and you haven't quite given me a good enough reason to forgive you for all that was said yesterday. A simple apology isn't going to cut it."

"Then what will cut it?" Snape asked decisively. He bent his arm over the back of then bench and leaned himself closer to Jessica so that his face was only a couple of feet away from hers. The closeness forced Jessica to look him in the eye and answer his question.

"Well," she began. "Maybe you could..."

His face was very still. All of a sudden she couldn't think of anything more she wanted him to do to make up for what he said yesterday. Jessica saw it in his eyes that he truly wanted her to accept his apology. Although she couldn't explain why, Jessica knew she had to forgive him and honour her uncle's request to search for the real Severus Snape.

Something in his gaze had a way of drawing her attention to him like a magnet. She suddenly began to sense some peculiar emotions and then forgot about how much he had hurt her. No further apologizes were necessary. After all, Jessica knew right from the start that he didn't really mean those things he said. He deserved to be forgiven without further ado. Something forced Jessica to put a hint of a smile on her face and then she started to feel strange, as if she was now seeing him through someone else's eyes.

Snape's gaze remained fixed on hers. He moved his hand over to touch the soft, velvet sleeve of her dress and slowly began to caress the purple material between his fingers. At that same instant, Snape noticed that Jessica was slowly moving towards him, closing the small gap between them.

Other than the sudden fierce pounding of his heart, Snape's entire body stopped moving when he realized exactly how close she was going to come to him. He watched Jessica close her eyes and then gently tilt her head to the side before she touched her warm lips to his.

At first, he met the beckoning of her lips with hesitation - hesitation that quickly turned to ecstasy after he took a half second to realize that she was kissing him!

Jessica held still for a moment and then smoothly stroked her lips once over his. Her lips were softer than he ever could have imagined. And when she reached her fingers up to touch his face, Snape could feel his entire cheek numb and tingle with pleasure. It was all too perfect. Jessica's kiss was nothing like he had imagined last night. This kiss was real! Jessica's touch of warmth and feeling was nothing to be compared to the weary imagination of Severus Snape.