Snape In Love

Chapter 57

From Impossibility To The Only Way

With a casual sweep of his hand and the word "Lumos!" the lamps flickered into life, bathing parts of the room in warm pools of light while leaving tenebrous its farthest corners.

"Wine?" asked Severus, making his way into one of those corners so that his form was half lost in the darkness. Following, I slipped my arms around his waist, nuzzling the heavy brocaded fabric of his frock coat. Tiny electrical charges prickled my cheek as I rubbed it against his warm, broad back, and I loosened my grip reluctantly in order that he could turn to face me. The lamplight danced in his eyes as he handed me my wine, and after a silent toast we each raised our goblets to our lips. The wine, my favourite Merlot, was full bodied and mellow, sliding smoothly down my throat, and Severus smiled at me as I closed my eyes in appreciation of his choice.

Taking my hand, he led me over to a sofa and sat down, pulling me down next to him. I curled my legs underneath me and sat sideways facing him, studying him closely. Half his face was in shadow, but as he turned to look at me it all came into view and I almost gasped in awe of his beauty. I knew he had never thought of himself as a handsome man, certainly not in the way that Sirius and Caius were handsome, but to me he was the pinnacle of maleness, of power and of passion. The strength of his commanding nose, and the firm set of his jaw, combined with the sensuality of the curve of his lips and his expressively arching brows, all framed with his gloriously black hair, never failed to take my breath away. Even the lines etched into his face, into pale skin which had long since lost the elasticity of youth, told their own story, and it was one that I was happy to read over and over.

He was still buttoned up all the way to his neck, and I took another sip of wine before setting it down on the table and leaning over him slightly so that I could begin to unfasten the numerous serpentine buttons. He leaned his head back and said softly, amusement in his tone,

"What are you doing?"

"You gave yourself to me today," I reminded him, eliciting a contented sigh from him, "As a gift. And now I'm unwrapping you!"

He laughed and his chest rose and fell beneath my fingers.

"You're being uncharacteristically painstaking!" he teased, tracing my cheek with his fingers. "You weren't this patient last Christmas!"

"Well, maybe your way of doing things is rubbing off on me," I replied, halfway down now, glancing up at him as he watched me through half closed eyes, a faint smile playing around his slightly parted lips.

"Having said that, a little help wouldn't go amiss," I continued dryly.

"Ah, but you're doing so well!"

At last his coat was open, and I turned my attention to his shirt, which shone silver like liquid mercury and felt just as smooth as I ran my hands up it, over his chest to his shoulders and back down again. I could feel heat emanating from him and the hairs on my forearms stood on end from the magical static charge between us. I sat up a little, to run my eyes all over him. Now that his frock coat fell open either side of him, I could see his long legs, the black trousers close fitting against his thighs, and I shivered as I remembered the last time they had been wrapped around me in passion, and anticipated the next.

As if reading my thoughts, he sat forward then and reached for me, putting one hand around my neck and one around my waist, pulling me on to his lap. His legs were apart so that I sat in the hollow between them and his right thigh provided a rest for my back. I was deliciously aware of his heavily buttoned trousers against my hip, and he sighed softly when my body shifted closer to his as I snaked my arm around his neck and began to run my fingers through his hair.

He stroked my back with his long fingers, then my waist, up to my shoulder blades, down to the curve of my hips, and at last, just at the point where I could endure no more, the delicious tickle in the small of my back making me squirm uncontrollably, his fingers stroked their way round to the swell of my breast, and my eyes closed as his thumb brushed across my nipple.

"Ella..."

I opened my eyes again as he spoke, feeling his hot breath caress my cheek. His eyes, so full of passion, of fire, of longing, stopped my breath. Slowly he raised his hand to my hair and echoed the action of my hand on his, stroking my curls tenderly before reaching up and removing the golden circlet from my head. He placed it next to his wine and moved his hand back to my hair once more, picking out the jewels and the flowers one at a time. He did it with an unerring sense of where they were, as his eyes never left mine. His fingers made my scalp tingle and I leaned my head into his hand, craving his touch. He was mesmerising me, holding me in his thrall, and a small part of my mind, very small, protested that I had to keep my passion in check, that I should not surrender myself to his will just yet, lest I lose myself completely in him. I quieted that voice, telling myself that the whole night was ahead of us, and I tangled my hands in his long, silky black hair, pulling his head down to mine, moaning as I pressed myself to him.

Blue light sparked from my lips to his, and I felt him smile as they met in a delicate kiss.

"It tickles!" he murmured as the gentle purples and blues illuminated his face and mine, tiny lightning bolts that they were.

"My whole body's on fire, Severus!" I gasped breathlessly as his hands returned to my back and my breasts.

"Mmm, good..." he growled, leaning to his right and moving his leg so that I was soon lying on the settee with his body stretched over me, half covering me. I could feel his weight and the heat radiating from him, and wanted more, always more. I shivered and pulled him closer to me as our kisses deepened. I opened my mouth wider and welcomed him inside, and his restless tongue embraced and explored me with a fervour that consumed me.
Wrapped around one another now, time seemed to stop. I could kiss him for all eternity and still be left craving more, I thought, as I ran my hand down his back and tugged at his shirt until I had released it from his trousers. Pushing my hand underneath it so that I could stroke his bare flesh, I felt him shudder and shift his weight so that his groin pressed into my thigh. I lifted it as far as I could into him, feeling his arousal straining against his trousers, and he groaned into my mouth. Heat was growing between my legs to an almost unbearable degree, and I wound my right leg around his left, grinding my pelvis into him wantonly, unable to control my responses to his closeness.

His hand travelled down my body, as far down my leg as he could, and he began to pull up the fabric of my dress. I cried out against him as he slid his hand up underneath it, up the back of my thigh until he reached the curve of my buttocks. His long, delicate fingers probed the burning moistness through my briefs, and he sighed appreciatively as he slid them underneath, where they curled round and began to stroke in tiny circles around my desperately sensitive centre.

"Ah, Severus!" I moaned, and bunched up my fists in frustration as he withdrew his hand in order to unfasten his trousers. I helped him to shrug them down a little, blood rushing through my ears, deafening me to all reason, as I grasped his hardness in my hand. It twitched and he grunted,

"Bedroom!" sliding off me on to all fours on the floor. He hung his head, panting, for a moment or two, long locks of black hair obscuring his face. When he lifted it to mine, the need in his eyes and his voice knocked all breath from my lungs.

"I...love...you!"

I reached out and stroked his cheek by way of a reply, and, trembling, rose to my feet to lead him through to the bedroom.

We stood at the foot of our bed, and I lifted my hair so that Severus, behind me, could unfasten my dress. Every button unfastened was punctuated by a feather-light kiss at the nape of my neck, sending tiny shockwaves of pleasure through me. As he slid my gown from my shoulders it seemed as if a million thoughts were careening through my mind. Regret, at the symbolic removal of my dress which signified the end of the most important day of my life; passion, incontrovertible evidence of which was flooding from my body and setting all my nerves on edge, screaming for the tall, potent man behind me; fear and concern about the momentous task I was soon to attempt.

I tried to steel my resolve, and make myself equal to my mission, but he was there, behind me, his ardour fanning the flames of my own, as if any help were needed, a physical presence that I could not bear to resist. I turned to face him, and put my hands on his shoulders. I gazed up into his endlessly expressive eyes. They blazed into mine, and he swallowed, saying carefully, as if he could not find the right words,

"Ella...my wife...hah! Ella, the residual magic...when we make love, it'll be - "

"I know," I reassured. "It'll be - different."

"Mind-blowing," he agreed faintly.

I was counting on it.

We helped one another remove the rest of our clothing while blue sparks crackled from our fingers. After several hours of them we no longer found them disconcerting, and indeed I was glad of them, since they provided me with much needed visual reassurance that there was still a good deal of residual magic in the air. I tried at the same time to complete a mental checklist of items that needed to be in place before I began the incantations.

With a jolt of horror I realised I had no idea where his wand was. Since he was now standing before me, glorious in his nakedness and thereby doing immense damage to my powers of concentration, I panicked and blurted out,

"Where's your wand?"

"Pardon?"

"Where is it?"

He ran his hands up and down over my shoulders and let the palms fall to cover my breasts.

"I think it's out there," he nodded back towards the next room. "On the table. Why?"

His hands were under my breasts now, holding their weight, kneading them gently so that white droplets pearled on my nipples. Trying not to sink into his arms I stammered,

"I don't - I don't think you should leave it out there - and - and I don't think you locked the door properly!"

He raised an eyebrow, and frowned.

"I think you're right," he mused. "I don't remember locking it. You're making me let down my guard!" he complained, slipping his arms round my neck and then nipping my shoulder gently before letting go of me reluctantly and striding out into the living room. I breathed a sigh of relief and retrieved my own wand from the folds of my wedding gown, which I tossed on to the back of a chair before placing my wand on the bedside cabinet, beside the black lacquered box. Since I never took the emerald off, this had had no purpose in recent months other than to be decorative, but now within it was concealed a shallow bowl containing Gruber's modified healing balm mixed with a Phoenix tear, a square of linen cloth, one of Fawkes' iridescent tail feathers and the vial of unicorn's blood.

I wracked my brains trying frantically to remember the first incantation I had to make after I restrained him, and my mind drew a complete blank. Then Severus walked back into the room and the sight of him jolted the words back into my head.

"Heart speaks to heart!"

"What, love?" Severus asked, resplendent before me once more, running a finger along my cheek. I leaned into his touch, unable and unwilling to do otherwise.

"Nothing," I breathed as he closed the distance between us by putting his hands on my hips and covering my mouth with his. I wound my arms around his neck and was instantly crushed to him, pressing his proud manhood between our two stomachs as we both groaned with pleasure. I pulled back from him and searched his eyes, needing the love and desire that radiated from them to give me courage.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked gently.

"Yes," I answered, running my hands over his shoulders and down his chest as I took a step back from him and climbed on to our bed.

I lay back, with my arms above my head, my breathing shallow. He watched me from the foot of the bed for a moment, then climbed on and crawled his way up until he was lying stretched out over me. His skin burned into mine and the air around us was heavy with the almost palpable weight of residual magic; but his body was heavier still as its weight bore down on mine. I welcomed it, since it made me feel as though I was moulding to his shape, one united melding of flesh, so that if I ever was able to let him go again the shape of his body would be forever imprinted on to mine. I clung to him, my arms around his shoulders and my splayed fingers digging into his back.

I was dizzied by him, the feel of him and the love blazing from his eyes affecting me beyond all reason. My need for him was exquisite in its agony and for one wild moment I was sure I could hear celestial music. His breathing was ragged, and then his mouth was on mine, licking gently then sucking hungrily, his face illuminated by a blue flickering light as lightning passed from his mouth to mine and then back again, while his thigh pressed insistently between my legs.

"Oh, Severus, please!" I begged, desperate for him to invade me so that I could surrender to him. He stopped kissing me and began to move back down the bed until he was between my thighs. He stared between them, seemingly entranced, blowing cool air on to it and looking up curiously for my reaction, his eyes hooded with desire and flashing fever. I moaned, wanting him to relieve the unbearable ache in my groin, but instead he ran his tongue over his lower lip and then pressed it into my navel, circling it round and round until I began to whimper with need. At last he took pity on me and bent down to me, and his miraculous tongue began teasing and tasting. I entangled my fingers into his dark locks as he tormented me by drawing back and blowing again.

"Ah! Don't stop!" I cried, blue flashes from my mouth exploding like sparkling fireworks before my eyes.

"I want to make it last for you," he murmured, a passionate inferno glittering blue in his black eyes.

"No! No! Do it!"

He laughed, a deep, low laugh filled with passion and power, and my body leapt with joy as he moaned with pleasure at the taste of me and his tongue resumed its maddening, delightful exploration. One of his fingers found the most secret, most intensely sensitive place in my body, and then it was as if molten lava boiled inside me and when the eruption came I screamed his name, spasms convulsing me, making my head reel and my body tremble uncontrollably. Quickly he moved back up the bed and completed my bliss, clasping me tightly to him, making me scream all the louder for his strength, his power and his passion.

This was true magic, I thought in my rapture, never mind the blue crackles of magical energy and the incantations. This surpassed anything I had ever felt before, and it was Severus, my world, my whole life, my beloved, no-one but Severus. Waves of blue light were rolling over us now, starting at our conjoined centres and breaking and crashing over our bodies as they reached our fingertips and toes and dissipated into the air around us, hissing and steaming with power.

He controlled his own passion, keeping himself in check, gritting his teeth as he gazed down at me. I cupped his face in my hands, smoothing his hair back from his face, and kissed him, tasting myself on his cheek and lips and in his mouth. I gripped him tightly with my legs as he began to rock his hips, very gently, and I thought my delirium would never end, but then I realised I would have to take control of the situation. It went against all my animal instincts to do so, since right at that moment all I wanted to do was feel overcome by him, smothered by him, totally subjugated to his will and his alone, to his strength and his need for me. Struggling with myself, I forced myself to put my hands on his shoulders and gasp,

"No! No, not like this!"

Puzzled, he stopped and I pushed his shoulder. Realising what I wanted, he put his arms around me and rolled over, holding me firmly and pulling me on top of him in one fluid, elegant movement without sliding from me. As we completed the manoeuvre he closed his eyes and gasped,

"Oh, my love..." blue fire licking around his lips this time, and I held still until he could regain control of himself. At last he opened his eyes and raised his hands to my breasts, which leaked copiously under his insistent caresses. He gazed at them as if hypnotised and I leaned forward until I was positioned over his face.

"Severus..." I whispered, staring deep into his eyes. Again, so attuned were we that he understood my meaning and a guttural growl issued from his throat as he lifted his head to run his tongue across first one of my aching nipples then the other. I threw back my head with pleasure and encouraged him on. He took one in his mouth then and sucked, hesitantly at first and then, when my milk began to flow he slipped his arms around my waist and began to drink more greedily. I was beside myself with lust. The sensation was incredible, the very idea of what he was doing had always aroused me, even more so since the first time he had done it a few days before, but now I was transported completely by his love, his lust, his eagerness, and I exulted that the first part of my plan had been so easily and so wonderfully achieved. As he took my other nipple in his mouth while caressing my breast with both hands, I began to move rhythmically above him, and he tensed under me rapturously.

Subjugating my own excitement, which threatened to engulf me once more, I watched his beautiful face until he fell back against the pillow, his mouth open, and his lips white with my milk, and I waited for the moment of his climax.

His eyes locked into mine and he gripped my hips, and cried out my name resoundingly in a flash of azure lightning, arching his back and surrendering to his crisis at last. The expression on his face was of pure, sweet bliss and I was overwhelmed with love for him. Now he was at his most vulnerable and susceptible to my power, and I pressed home my advantage even as his cries still echoed in my ears.

"Accio wand!" I said firmly, holding out my hand. As soon as I had grasped it I continued, "Corpus in dulce manaculo!" and green velvet cords soon tethered his arms and legs to the posts at each of the four corners of our bed. Contentedly Severus smiled,

"Isn't it a little late for these, love? I need to recoup my strength, you haven't married a young man, you know!"

I ignored him and instead drew myself up, still straddling him, and I repeated,

"Accio wand!" while pointing my own at Severus'. It flew into my left hand and I pointed both at the black lacquered box. The languidly amused expression of Severus' love-drunk face soon faded as he began to realise I was 'up to something', and turned to alarm as the lid of the box flew off violently and landed with a clatter in a corner of the room and the poultice inside the box began to steam.

"Cor ad cor loquitur. Ubi amor, ibi Fata viam invenient!"

Returned now to his senses, Severus frowned, asking,

"The Fates will find a way to what?"

Then, as I felt myself open up to and be filled by the magic all around us, his eyes widened in horrified wonder.

"What are you doing, Ella?"

My scalp had begun to prickle, and I realised my hair was no longer falling over my shoulders and down my back, but was standing on end, and I felt a sudden surge of thrumming blue power that made my whole body burn as I continued,

"Accio aquila! Accio poultice!"

The feather and the soaked cloth flew to me and I used my wand to direct them both in turn on to Severus' exposed forearm. He flinched as the scalding hot linen covered the soft flesh of his arm, and his eyes flicked to mine, to his arm and back again, almost fearfully.

"Relegato labes tenebricosus, magnum malus est!"

"Banish the Dark Mark? What are you doing? It won't work, nothing ever does!"

He pulled at his restraints impatiently, muttering "Finite Incantatem!" and succeeded in counteracting my restraining charm. His first reaction, fortunately, was not to try to remove the poultice from his arm; rather, he tried to take my hand and retrieve his wand.

"Noli me tangere!" I shouted forcefully, tearing my gaze from the steaming poultice and blazing into him.

My eyes were itchy and burning, and I could tell by the look of terrified awe in his face that there was something in them that he had not seen before. He shrank from me, not daring to move.

"Vinculum unitatis malum bono evincerat!"

I felt weightless, incorporeal, goddesslike in my omnipotence and filled with absolute certainty that my will would prevail. I threw back my head and laughed exultantly, seeing my reflection in the highly polished wood of the tall headboard and realising why my gaze had filled him with such astonishment. My body was glowing from within now, with a delicate blue light, but my eyes were like two bright rays of sapphire sun, their beams radiating from my sockets. I turned their full force on Severus and he screwed shut his eyes reflexively, but reopened them almost immediately, his brow smoothing in dawning comprehension as he began to feel what I felt, and to understand.

"Non est te similis," I told him gently, and a wave of trusting love washed across his features. It was true, no-one was like him. He was everything to me, and I was about to reaffirm it once more.

I pointed both wands at the poultice covering the Dark Mark and I felt all the energy in the room, now in me, channel itself down my arms and into those wands as I began again.

"Purgato animus!"

Severus roared out in agony, his teeth gritted in a rictus of pain while his body bucked underneath me, yet he showed his trust in me and managed to hold his arm still even in his extremity.

"Consanesco animus! Redempto animus! Imperato semper abesse in nomine amor aeternalis!"

With a flick of my wrist I removed the poultice from his arm. It flew across the room and landed beside the lid of the black lacquered box. The phoenix feather fell from Severus' arm on to the bed, a shadow now of its former self, its iridescence transferred on to his forearm, which shimmered for a moment and then paled.

Paled, until there was nothing there. Nothing. The Dark Mark was gone.

"Post tenebras lux. Omnia vincit amor, et nos cedamus amori."

With my wand I then unstoppered the vial of unicorn's blood and summoned it to pour on to a wondering Severus' arm as I felt the burning of my eyes abate and cool. Goosebumps swept all over my skin in waves as the glow dissipated. My hair fell slowly to my shoulders and I finished in a whisper,

"Esto perpetua." Drained of energy, I hung my head, dropping a wand to either side of me.

There was silence for a long time. When I looked up, Severus was staring at his arm in astonishment. Dumbfounded, he raised his scarcely comprehending eyes to look at me, and I sank forward, falling on to his chest where I could curl into a fervent embrace. Mere words could not express how I felt. It had worked. I had healed him. Our shared love had redeemed him, and now I allowed my tears of relief to soak his chest.

At last I got up and climbed off him, and we sat side by side and silently on the edge of the bed. I took his left hand, and turned it over so that I could run my fingers along the underside of his forearm. It was smooth, cool and unblemished. It was as if the Dark Mark had never been.

In profile, I could not see his face. Only his nose protruded from the dark locks that obscured it from my view. His shoulders were slumped, as if he had sunk so far inside himself that he could barely sit upright. Anxious now, I clasped his hand in both of mine and squeezed it. His voice, when at last he spoke, was low and hesitant.

"Gruber?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You hadn't to know. The instructions were very clear."

He nodded slowly, and a deep, shuddering sigh wracked his body. That was all the explanation he needed from me for now. Later I would share everything with him, but for the moment he accepted what I said without question.

"The feather...Albus knew about this?"

"I had to tell him. I needed Fawkes. But he knew anyway. He knew long before I did."

"You should speak to him now."

"Are you sure, love?"

"I'd like him to know."

I reached for Severus' chin, tilting his head up slightly so that I could turn his face to me and search his eyes. They were filled with a quiet wonder, and I kissed him tenderly. There were no blue sparks this time. There was no celestial music. It was just we two, now, and his lips tasted sweeter to me than they had ever been.

I was reluctant to leave his side, but I did as he asked and went over to the wardrobe, taking out his dressing gown and fastening it tightly around my waist before scooping a small handful of Floo powder from the jar on the mantelpiece. I threw it into the fire and called out,

"Albus Dumbledore!" as I sat on the edge of the armchair with my hands on my knees. In an instant the Headmaster's head was spinning in the flames and soon he was watching me carefully.

"Ella. Are you both...well?"

"Professor Dumbledore - Albus - I - hah! - I did it! It's gone!"

He smiled beatifically, and I covered my mouth with my hands as I half laughed, half cried.

"You lived up to your name, Ella Redemte. As I knew you would. Both you and Severus have found, ah, redemption. Redemption through love. Indeed. And, ah, how is my dear old friend?"

I turned to look over to Severus, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed, with a sheet wrapped around his waist now. He held his left arm with his right hand, and his thumb rubbed absently over where the mark had been, Once more, his head was bent, his long, dark hair hiding his face.

"He's...withdrawn. But fine. He will be fine. He's in shock, I think."

"He will need you all the more, Ella, these next weeks. There will be much he might now be ready to tell you, about his past."

"And I'm ready to hear it," I vowed. The Headmaster nodded, and said,

"Until tomorrow, then?"

"Yes. Goodnight - Albus. And thanks."

I turned from the fire and sank back into the armchair, watching carefully as Severus stood and shuffled across the room, the sheet trailing out behind him. Gathering it up in his hand, he sat at my feet in the same way that I had so often sat at his, and rested his arm across my knees. I reached out to stroke his hair and asked anxiously,

"You will be fine, won't you?"

"I feel...I feel...clean!"

He buried his face in my lap and a long, shuddering sob rose from the depths of him, a sound the like of which I had never heard before, least of all from a man as strong as Severus. It was a low, keening wail that grew steadily in pitch and volume, and it seemed to contain all the grief, all the bitterness and all the rage that had been trapped inside him for so many long years. Emotions that even my love had not been able to expunge, and as his tears fell on to the green satin of his robe they were soaked into the fabric and the heat from my body dried them all away. I leaned over him, held him close and murmured into his hair, stroking his shoulders, rocking him as if he were a child in need of my comfort. And in a way, I supposed that he was. He would not change, and nor would I want him to; but now, at last, he could find peace within himself that came from himself, and was not reliant on the love he would always share with me.

His catharsis had been a long time coming, and was a long time in its execution, flushing out as it did all those bitter, twisted years and painful memories. I had removed the Dark Mark from his arm, and now together we would both endeavour to remove its poisoned legacy from his soul. At length his sobbing ceased, and he became calmer. I retrieved my wand from the bed, surprised that I still retained sufficient magical strength to perform the Accio charm, even more surprised that it seemed to take merely an instant's thought before there it was in my hand, and I was able to enlarge the armchair and pull him up to sit beside me. We melded together then, curled around each other, unable to get close enough, and we spoke of all that we were and would be to each other, and as the night drew to a close we rejoiced in the dawning of the new day.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Please review! (That little button just down there...)

And don't forget to go to the epilogue, Chapter 58!

Latin phrases used as incantations translate as follows;

Cor ad cor loquitur; Heart speaks to heart.

Ubi amor, ibi Fata viam invenient; Where there is love, the Fates will find a way.

Relegato labes tenebricosus, magnum malus est; I banish the dark mark, a great evil

Noli me tangere; Don't touch me.

Vinculum unitatis malum bono evincerat; The bond of unity prevails over evil with good.

Non est te similes; No-one is like you.

Purgato animus; I purge the soul.

Consanesco animus; I cleanse the soul.

Redempto animus; I redeem the soul.

Imperato semper abesse in nomine amor aeternalis; Be gone in the name of eternal love.

Post tenebras lux; After the darkness comes light.

Omnia vincit amor, et nos cedamus amori; Love conquers all, and let us yield to it.

Esto perpetua; Let it be forever.