Snape In Love

Chapter 47

A Child Is Born, And Love Is Made Alive

I think the time would have dragged interminably if Severus had not been there. However, as it was, half the morning passed and Hermione, Remus and a much-improved Sirius came back in to see us. Hermione and Remus were going to the Leaky Cauldron to collect our belongings and return them to Hogwarts, and then they would return in the evening and hope for some news.

"Just make sure you don't do anything until I get back!" she warned excitedly. "I can't wait to be an auntie!"

Severus forced out a sickly smile at her, but fortunately she was too busy fussing around me to notice.

I reclined on my side on the bed after they had gone and the nurse had been in to check on me. Severus lay behind me, spooning into me, and I rested my head in the crook of his shoulder as he stroked me. I was very comfortable, safely back in his arms, and in between contractions, which were now every ten minutes, I even managed to doze off. I had had no sleep the previous night, and the pain relief potion administered by the midwife had dulled the labour pains somewhat. Combined with these factors, his rhythmical breathing in my ear as he held me close had a blissfully soporific effect, like waves on the sand.

By two in the afternoon my contractions were only three minutes apart and I knelt on the bed, Severus standing beside it so that I could lean on him while the pain built and built, my stomach hard as rock against him. Or, we would stand up, my arms around his neck, hanging from him with my knees bent so that gravity could help the baby along.

Although I had read all about childbirth in readiness for this day, I had had no idea of how it would really feel. As I went into what Severus helpfully informed me was transition, I began to sweat and shake, with one contraction starting almost as soon as its precursor had finished. I could no longer stand, having no strength to hold on to him any more. The midwife helped him get me back on to the bed, and they propped me up with pillows, so that I could sit with my knees drawn up to my chest. Severus sat facing me, holding my hands, and with each contraction I dug my nails into his palms.

He looked pale and concerned and I knew he was trying to hide his anxiety from me.

"It's - it's - it's all okay, you know!" I gasped, dropping his hand so that I could touch his face.

"What?"

"This. Don't look so worried!"

"I'm not worried!"

"Liar!"

"I don't like to see you in pain. Even when it's a good pain."

"A good pain? There's no... such thing! Typical, only a man could... come out with something like that! Mmmph! Aargh!' I screamed then, and Severus reached into a pocket for his wand, withdrawing it with a shaking hand.

"Let me help - " he started.

"Get away from me! Leave me alone! Put that damned thing away!"

"But Ella, I just want to - "

"This is all your fault! Aargh! Come here! Now, damn it!"

Bewildered at my conflicting instructions, Severus sat beside me helplessly, and I screamed again and grabbed at his shoulders, his wand falling to the floor unheeded as he tried to be of some help. I was beside myself with pain, and my head thrashed from side to side as I tried to cope with the incredibly powerful messages my body was sending me. At last, the nurse said,

"Let's have a look at you...now then, Ella, you're a hand's span open now, you can push whenever you're ready."

"A hand's span? You mean ten centimetres?"

"Er...yes?" she said dubiously.

"Oh! Oh! Mmph! Aah!"

The urge to bear down came out of nowhere, it seemed, and I couldn't not have pushed. I had no control at all over what my body did, and I pushed and pushed as if I was trying to push myself inside out, and when it was over I opened my eyes to see Severus' face, wide-eyed, gaping at me in horrified amazement.

"It's happening, Severus! Stop it hurting!"

"I - I can't, love!"

"Don't - just - sit - there!"

"What can I do?"

"Talk to her, Professor!" scolded the nurse, earning a bewildered look. "Encourage her!"

"Mmph!"

"Er...don't make a noise, Ella! It - it wastes your energy!"

"Aargh! Mmph! Shut up!"

"See? She doesn't want me to talk to her!" he muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous, Professor, of course she does!" the nurse said tartly, his reputation evidently meaning nothing to her.

"What did you say?" he turned to her, his tone like ice.

"Not the time, Severus!" I panted crossly. "Or the - ooh! Place!"

He had the good sense to return his full attention to me, and as I looked into his eyes I saw the ice melt away as quickly as it had formed, and abject terror resume its rightful place there.

"Ella, what do you want?" he pleaded.

"I want it out!"

"Another big push, dear, get ready - here it comes - " said the midwife, briskly efficient with one hand on my stomach as she felt the contraction begin.

"Push now, a nice big one!"

"Mmmph!" I moaned.

"It's coming...your baby will soon be here, dear! Would you like to see your baby's head, Professor Snape?"

He turned round slowly to look at her and nodded mutely, keeping hold of my hand but sliding off the bed and taking a step down it to peer anxiously between my parted legs.

"Oh!" he gasped. "Ella, I can see its head! Can I touch it?"

Hesitantly he reached out and touched me, my skin stretched tight around his child's head. Then another urge to push overwhelmed me and he hurriedly returned to me, standing behind me and putting his arms around my waist, holding me up off the bed a little and firmly against him, his cheek pressed against mine. He whispered in an awestruck voice,

"Our baby has lots of hair, Ella! Lots of black hair! Now come on, you can do this! Push, love! Push!"

I moaned as wave after wave of irresistible urges to bear down overwhelmed me. I pushed and pushed, and then the midwife said,

"Now listen to me, Ella, the next time you have a contraction I don't want you to push. Do you hear me? Don't push! I want you to breathe the baby out. If you push, you might tear and I don't want that to happen. Just breathe. Help her, Professor," she added shortly.

Severus took a determined breath and whispered in my ear,

"Breathe, like before when I was in bed with you, all right? I'll do it with you."

His arms were locked under my armpits and across my chest and I gripped them tightly, pulling on them as I tried not to push. I hardly knew where I was, but we breathed as one, Severus' force of will, always the centre of my universe, seemingly transferring itself to me, helping me. When the contraction was over I fell back against him, drained, the pressure between my legs relieved somewhat.

"Here's the head, Ella, you did very, very well! Come and look, Professor!"

Severus didn't leave my side, he just peered down the bed and his eyes widened in amazement.

"Oh, Ella! Oh, look!"

"I can't!" I moaned as another contraction overcame me. I pushed hard, and with a wet, slithering sensation accompanied by a good deal of water, our baby was born.

"What is it?" I gasped out.

"A girl! We've got a little girl!" Severus replied hoarsely.

The midwife wrapped a blanket around the baby and lifted her on to my chest, and I saw Severus in her face.

"A girl!" I laughed hysterically, "And she's just like you!"

I looked up at Severus and saw tears streaming down his face.

"I love you!" he said, laughing through his tears. "Both of you!"

The midwife left us alone for a few minutes then, and we did all the things that new parents the world over always have and always will do. Our baby watched us carefully as we satisfied ourselves as to the number and appearance of her tiny fingers and toes, and marvelled at the velvety softness of her skin. Each time she made one of those sweet little grunting noises that only tiny newborns make, Severus would laugh and trace her cheek gently with his fingertip.

"She's perfect, Ella! Perfect!"

After the midwife had returned and Severus had cut the umbilical cord, he took the tiny bundle that was his daughter from me, and cradled her in his arms, frowning over her lovingly, while I delivered the placenta. Then the midwife brought me towels and flannels and I was able to freshen up a little.

"Right, I'll leave you three alone for a while so that you can get to know one another!" she smiled brightly, disappearing through the door and closing it firmly behind her.

I looked over to where Severus was standing at the window, holding our baby tenderly in his arms. He walked across to me slowly, smiling down at me.

"You want her back?"

"I want you both back! Look at you, it looks like I've lost you both to each other!" I smiled.

"Here, go back to your mother," he said softly, kissing the baby's forehead gently. He laid her in my arms, and then climbed on to the bed beside me so that he could embrace us both. I snuggled back into his arms and turned my head to look up at him. He held my gaze wonderingly before leaning down and kissing me tenderly.

"You are incredible, Ella. Are you feeling alright?"

"Never better," I replied. I looked down at our daughter, her deep blue eyes unfocussed but responding to the sound of my voice. She had a mass of black hair, still plastered to her head with sticky white vernix and the crimson trauma of her delivery into the world.

"What are we going to call you, little one?" I mused.

"Persephone," murmured Severus against my cheek, punctuating his suggestion with a kiss there.

"Persephone? Yes, I like that! Why, though, love?"

"Because I lay awake thinking about it, when I was - away," he answered. "Have you ever noticed that your surname's an anagram? Of Demeter, a Greek goddess who dictated the seasons? She brought the winter and the spring, like you brought both to me."

"And she had a daughter, Persephone!" I continued.

"Exactly. Persephone married Hades, and spent half of each year in the underworld with him, making Demeter sad, hence the winter, and the other half with her mother, who would rejoice their reunion by bringing the spring!"

"You know your Greek myths, then! I always knew you had hidden depths!" I teased gently, reaching my hand up behind my head to stroke his cheek and his hair.

"So, is she a Persephone?" he asked, placing his little finger in the palm of her hand so that she grasped it reflexively.

"Persephone Snape? Definitely!" I replied emphatically, turning to kiss him once more. We were soon interrupted by another little grunt from Persephone, and Severus' face creased into a smile as we gave her our undivided attention once more. She was rooting so Severus helped me sit up, propping me up with pillows and loosening my shift so that I could attempt to feed her. She seemed to know exactly what to do, and after a few minutes and a couple of false starts, I was able to hold her at my breast. Severus watched in wonderment as she suckled.

"It's amazing, she's figured it all out already!" he marvelled. "Definitely a Snape!"

She soon fell asleep, and as I straightened my clothing there was a knock at the door. The midwife had come back with a tray of food for us both, and a visitor.

Sirius limped into the room slowly, a huge smile on his face.

"Congratulations, you two! Ella, how are you? And how's the proud father?"

"Exceptionally proud, I think!" Severus replied, only slightly stiffly, and I was amazed to watch him take Persephone from me and show her to a delighted Sirius who clapped him on the back heartily. I sighed happily and sank back into the pillows, watching them coo over her as if they had never been sworn enemies. "If this lasts," I thought wryly, "it'll take a lot of getting used to!"

There was another knock at the door shortly after, and Hermione and Remus came in.

"Ella! You had it without me! What is it?"

"A girl! Persephone!"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, she's lovely!" exclaimed Hermione, heading for Severus determinedly as Remus came to my bedside and kissed me warmly.

"May I hold her, Professor?"

"Er...yes, of course, Miss Granger, but be careful with her head."

"I know."

Hermione cooed and gushed over her, taking her over to meet Remus, then across to the window, where she stood rocking her

"Oh, aren't you beautiful? Look at all that hair! Little Seffie, I'm your Auntie 'Mione!"

Severus grimaced sickly, then raised his eyebrows and mouthed at me, aghast,

"Seffie?"

I shrugged, trying not to smile. I held out my hand to him and he came to sit next to me on the bed, slipping his arm around my shoulders so that I could snuggle against him.

"Ella, she called her Seffie!" he muttered into my hair.

"I heard, love."

"Her name is Persephone!"

"So tell her!"

He sighed, disgruntled.

"SeffieSnape?" he hissed at me.

"It has a certain ring to it," I said casually.

"Hermione, we won't be shortening Persephone's name," Severus called imperiously.

"Won't you? Oh, okay," she shrugged, smiling down at her.

Our visitors didn't stay long; Hermione and Remus returned to Hogwarts and Sirius told us that he too would be going back the next day.

"When can we go home?" I asked Severus.

"Well, we can't Apparate, and you don't like Floo...shall we arrange a Portkey?" he said, looking at Sirius.

"Already done it, you can come along too," he replied. "It seemed easier, I still feel a bit sore. I didn't fancy the trek back to the castle after Apparating, and Flooing with broken ribs isn't a good idea!"

Persephone was sleeping when the nurse came in, and she suggested I have a warm bath. We emphatically declined her invitation to take the baby to the nursery, and Severus asked Sirius,

"Will you keep an eye on her for us? I'd like to help Ella in the bathroom..."

"Of course. I'll give you a shout if she wakes up."

Severus nodded, and helped me out of bed solicitously. Once inside the bathroom he filled the huge bathtub with water, adding the contents of a foam bath helpfully provided by the hospital.

"What's in that?" I asked.

"It contains herbs, plant extracts, arnica...it's a mild healing balm," he replied, studying the bottle. He put it down and stepped over to me, lifting my nightdress over my head and helping me into the bath. I winced as I sat down and he frowned sympathetically, pouring water from a sponge over my shoulders, rubbing my back with it.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly. "I could get my wand, make it a little easier...I know you didn't want me to before..."

"I'm fine," I replied, touching his cheek lovingly. "Get in with me?"

"What - do you think I should?"

"I want you to!"

I smiled to myself at his uncertainty. Ever since the last stages of my labour he had seemed so vulnerable, so bewildered, and I knew he was unused to feeling so helpless and unable to control events. He stood up and I leaned back, watching him undress quickly. I felt a tugging in the pit of my stomach as I saw him before me, followed by a sharp pain in my womb as it contracted, and then he was climbing into the bath behind me. I leant back against him, between his long legs, savouring the warmth of his flesh against mine, and the silky smoothness of his skin.

"Oh, this is nice," he murmured.

"You don't like scented baths!" I teased, resting my head on his chest.

"Well, I ache all over, I haven't showered for days, and you feel so good! Oh, I've missed you!"

"Mmm..." I sighed, relaxing, letting him stroke my hair, my stomach, my arms, and my breasts and rejoicing in his touch.

After a few minutes Severus sighed heavily and said,

"Let me get you dry. We can get rid of Black and go to bed."

When we opened the bathroom door and crept back in to the room, we found Sirius asleep in the armchair. Persephone was awake, grizzling to herself, her tiny arms and legs kicking. I picked her up and held her to my shoulder, listening to her little grunts as she moved against my neck. Severus crouched next to Sirius and glanced up at me before saying sarcastically,

"Fine guard dog you turned out to be!"

Sirius awoke with a start, sitting up in confusion as Severus rose to his feet and continued,

"Go to bed, Black!"

"Sorry, I only closed my eyes for a minute!"

Severus shot him a look, unconvinced, as Sirius rose to leave.

"Goodnight, Ella. See you in the morning," he said, kissing my cheek.

"And we can all go home!" I smiled in reply.

Severus watched with interest as I changed Persephone, asking distastefully,

"Why not just do it magically? It'd be far less messy!"

"She needs contact, Severus! She needs to be - well - handled, for want of a better word!"

"You make her sound like a pet rabbit!"

"We all need to be touched, especially when we're babies. Next you'll be suggesting I levitate her out of her cot at night, if she cries!"

"Well, it would save us getting out of bed...especially if I'm touching you at the time!" he smirked suggestively as I glared at him, taking her from me and stroking her head with his fingertips.

After I had fed her once more and she was sleeping in her cot again, I climbed wearily into bed. Severus stripped off his clothing again and climbed into bed beside me, pulling me to him with a contented sigh and tilting my chin up so that my lips met his in a long lingering kiss.

"You look so tired," he murmured, stroking my hair from my face.

"I've just given birth after sixteen hours of labour," I reminded him dryly. "And anyway, you do too!"

He smiled briefly, his eyes travelling all over my face.

Sleep claimed us both quickly and for a few hours we simply clung to one another in our slumber. Usually we would spoon together while we slept, moulding ourselves to the other's back, but not this night. This night we could not bear to turn our backs on each other even in sleep, so that when I awoke several hours later to the sound of Persephone's cries his beloved face, starkly white in the moonlight, was the first thing I saw. His arms were clasped firmly around my back, and as I tried to disentangle myself he gripped more tightly. I leaned forward and kissed him, biting his top lip gently in the hope of rousing him. He simply returned my kiss, still half asleep.

"Severus!" I whispered loudly. His eyes snapped open, two pieces of coal in his white face.

"Persephone's crying!" he said urgently, sitting up.

"Yes I know that, I've been trying to get up!"

He sprang out of bed and strode quickly round to my side of the bed, where Persephone lay in her cot, picking her up gently and rocking her.

"I've never seen you get out of bed so fast!" I said dryly as I sat up and held out my arms for her.

"That's because since I've been with you, it's always been the last thing I've wanted to do!" he retorted, laying the baby gently in my arms and sitting beside us, his arm around my shoulders, stroking my hair and hers as she fed.