Snape In Love

Chapter 21

You´re The Blue In My Black

I feel so lucky loving her
Tell me what else is magic for
She thinks it's better left unsaid

She makes her mind up at a glance
It really made a difference
I seem to be unconditionally hers

She's like a new girl every day
And all the rest don't bother me
I'm far too busy lovin' her

I'll never be lonely now I know her
She fills my heart with joy
She makes my day
She just has to smile to blow my cares away
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

She's all good lovin' at once

Our love was unintentional
She says we're not responsible
She thinks with her chin up

She always makes uncommon sense
Always knows just what to say
She always takes me unawares

In less time than it takes to fall I´m here
And there you are
We never fought it anyway

I'll never be lonely now I know her
She fills my heart with joy
She makes my day
She just has to smile to blow my cares away
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

(Robert Palmer, "She Makes My Day")

A few days later it was Christmas morning and when I awoke Severus was, as usual, still sleeping. I headed straight for the bathroom, slipping out from under his arm as stealthily as I could, and closed the bathroom door silently behind me. I ran to the toilet, heaving, and spent several minutes on the floor beside it until the nausea passed. Afterwards I leaned against the bath, sweating, until I had recovered enough to stand at the sink and splash my face with cold water.

"Merry Christmas, Ella!" I said to my reflection in the bevelled mirror, with a wry smile. I put on Severus´ green silk dressing gown and then crept back out into the bedroom, checking on Severus.

He was lying on his back now, one arm thrown above his head, snoring softly, lips slightly parted. His hair was spread over the pillow and he´d tangled the sheets around his legs. His chest was bare, and as I looked at him he stirred, moving the sheets further down his prone body so that I could see the path of dark hair that led down past his navel. Tempted as I was to have my tongue take a slow, sensual journey along that path to its end, I knew that I had work to do. I found my wand, and began to whisper some simple charms. After a few minutes, I stopped to survey my handiwork.

The room looked lovely. I had festooned the walls and ceiling with hundreds of small white lights, which twinkled like stars. In the corner by the door stood a huge Christmas tree decorated all in blue velvet, and crystal (silver brought to mind the flame from Voldemort´s wand, so I made a silent apology to Severus for using my own Ravenclaw colours instead). The fireplace was decorated with holly and ivy, and, as a finishing touch, I had placed a huge garland of mistletoe above the bed. I took out my gifts for him, purchased a few weeks before, from their hiding place and placed them under the tree.

Then I climbed back into bed beside him and snuggled up to him happily.

The arm which had been flung over his head instinctively moved to snake around my shoulders, and he pulled me close in his sleep, sighing. Idly I stroked the black hairs on his chest with my fingers, and I smiled as I remembered what I had been so tempted to do just a few minutes before. I began to trail wet kisses down his chest, kissing and licking alternately until I reached his navel.

I heard him waken with an

"Mmph? Aah, mmm," and I smiled to myself as I moved lower. Long fingers stroked my hair, and he gasped as I reached my goal. A few minutes later he moaned, his hand clenching around my hair as he climaxed, and I didn´t stop until he was spent. I kissed my way back up to his mouth, lying on top of him as he held me.

"Merry Christmas, Severus" I said, and he smiled softly.

"Why, was that my present?"

"No! But look around you."

His eyes widened in surprise as he took it all in.

"It´s very...festive," he said uncertainly. "Er...I never usually bother."

"Well, I´d sort of guessed that!" I said with a wry smile. "But do you approve?"

"On the whole...yes. The mistletoe´s a nice touch, but not really necessary..." he added, kissing me once more. "I got you a present!" he added, frowning at me. "I hope you like it."

I slid off him so that he could get up, and he crossed the room to his dresser, opening the top drawer and taking out a small package. I watched him appreciatively, noticing how his muscles rippled as he walked, and enjoying the slow smile that spread across his face when he realised I was watching him. Passing the tree, he noticed the colour of its decorations and raised an eyebrow at me, but said nothing.

He jumped back into bed and gave me the package hesitantly, saying,

"I enchanted it myself."

Intrigued, I tore open the wrapping to reveal a small black lacquered box, enamelled with a snake and a bird intertwined.

"It´s beautiful!"

"Open it!" he urged.

Inside was a large emerald, the size of a small egg, on a thick chain of solid gold.

"Oh, Severus!" I breathed.

"Look more closely," he urged, and as I did I saw grey dancing shadows swirling around deep within the stone. "Mirror mirabilis!" he said as he passed his hand over it, and when I looked again I had a bird´s eye view of the two of us, sitting on the bed poring over the emerald.

"What is this?" I asked, amazed.

"It´s- well, it´s like a magic mirror," he explained. "I know how fond you are of Muggle literature, and I thought you´d be able to relate to that fairy story about the girl who for some inconceivable reason falls in love with a beast and saves him from himself. He gave her a magic mirror too."

"You aren´t a beast, Severus. You never were."

"That´s a moot point, Ella. Anyway, whenever you pass your hand on it and say the correct incantation, you´ll be able to see me. Wherever I am, whatever I´m doing."

"You mean I´ll be able to spy on you?" I teased.

"I prefer to think of it as watching over me," he replied seriously, and my heart lurched. With a lump in my throat, I put my hand at the back of his neck and drew him to me. As our lips touched, I said "Thank you..." and we kissed.

"I have something for you too," I said as we broke apart. "It´s under the tree."

"Ah yes, the Ravenclaw themed tree!" he said acerbically. "Oh well, at least the tree itself is green!"

I kissed him again, and then went to fetch his gift. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, he began to unwrap it very slowly, methodically, so unhurried that I began to bounce up and down in my impatience.

"Come on, Severus, it´ll soon be next Christmas!"

"I want to savour this," he said, teasing gently. "A gift from the woman I love is something to be treasured, right from the outset. And that includes unwrapping it!"

He continued as before, stealing glances at me with rare laughter in his eyes, and so much love.

When the wrapping finally fell off to reveal the sculpture inside, he said nothing. He simply looked at it, ran his long fingers over it, turned it this way and that, and then set it down on the bed. I waited with bated breath, unable to gauge his reaction. Then he turned his gaze on me, and I knew. His coal black eyes were ablaze with love for me, and the fire burned all the brighter for the unexpected tears in his eyes.

"It´s beautiful," he whispered huskily, and he enfolded me in his arms, kissing me deeply, holding me so closely, so tenderly, that I melted against him instantly, breathless as we kissed. And he hadn´t even seen what the sculpture truly was yet, I marvelled. Framing his face in my hands, I broke our kiss and said,

"Severus, I need to show you something. Come on over to the fire, I´ll put it on the table."

Wrapping himself around the waist in a sheet from the bed, he followed me curiously as I carried the sculpture and set it down on the low table by the fire. He sat in the old leather chair, and I knelt at his feet on the rug, one hand on each of the two figurines that made up the piece.

"Vivat!" I said, and looked at Severus. His eyes widened in amazement as he watched.

The sculpture was of two figures standing face to face, the taller of the two standing about twelve inches high. It was carved all in black marble, its smaller female partner of deep blue lapis lazuli. As I had cast the spell to reveal its secret, colour had flooded through both figures until it was clear that they were Severus and me, in perfect miniature, kissing, embracing, dancing, moving around one another with a fluid grace that was almost like music.

"Do you like it?" I asked, as he gazed at it, open-mouthed.

"Beyond words," was all the reply he could make.

After a few minutes, the charm wore off and the two figures, the blue and the black, were still once more, locked in a close embrace. Severus sat back in his chair with a sigh, looking at me in wonderment.

"Where on earth did you find it? I´ve never seen anything like it before."

"It was from an old friend. I owled him to tell him what I wanted, and when I got it, I enchanted it myself."

"An old friend?"

"Yes, a Muggle, but a very talented one. I met him in Italy, years ago."

"Hmph."

"What?"

Severus gave me a sideways glance, and frowned,

"Is he an ex?"

"No! Good grief, he must be ninety by now! I was working for a gallery, saw some of his work. It was beautiful. Haunting. I asked to meet him, and he told me his life story! We became great friends, and

he told me the most romantic story I´d ever heard. Till ours, of course!"

I smiled as he looked at me doubtfully.

"He married young, and he and his wife were everything to each other. He was your typical struggling artist type, they were penniless, but it didn´t matter. He would sculpt her, all the time, nothing but her. Then she became ill, and there was no cure. When she died, he was lost. Helpless. He was surrounded by memories of her and he threw himself into creating a life-sized sculpture of her, the ultimate celebration of their love. It was his greatest ever work, and he described what happened as a miracle. Well, I suppose it was."

"Why, what happened?"

"The stone came to life one day, he said. He had his love back, for a little while. Now, I don´t know if it was some latent magical ability he had, which his grief tapped into, or even whether it was her ghost, or just his imagination, but he swears it happened. And it gave him the strength to carry on. So," I continued as I climbed into his lap, "when I wanted a symbol of our love, I couldn´t think of a better person to go to."

"I just don´t know what to say," he murmured.

His arms encircled my waist, pulling me close so that he could bury his face between my breasts. I kissed the top of his head, stroking his hair, feeling his breath hot on my skin.

I think I could have told him anything then. I could have told him all about the baby, about what Voldemort had done to me, about how desperately I wanted his child. I could have told him even though I was concerned he might not feel the same, might not want the responsibility. I could have told him because I loved him, more than anything, and because I knew he loved me.

But I didn´t, because at that moment another uncontrollable urge to be sick overtook me, and I had to scramble to my feet and run to the bathroom. He followed me, worried, and held my shoulders as I leaned over the sink, my body racked by dry heaves.

"Ella, what on earth...are you alright?"

"Mmph- fine- I´m fine. Water."

He poured me a glass and hovered at my side uncertainly while I wondered what on earth to say.

"I was just- nervous. Nervous about my present to you," I said.

"And you made yourself feel sick? Good grief, what sort of an ogre do you take me for? As if I could be anything less than entranced...Ella, it´s wonderful, it really is! Wait here!" he finished, and strode out of the bathroom purposefully, calling back to me, "I have a potion that should settle your stomach."

"Great," I thought. "The perfect opportunity for him to cotton on to the truth all on his own, and I have to make some lame excuse! And he actually falls for it! And now I have to take one of his wretched potions and it´s bound to taste foul, I´m sure he could make them taste better if he wanted to..."

I shook my head wryly and sat down on the toilet seat, wiping my face with a damp facecloth. "He´ll soon guess, if I keep this up every morning. Oh, why am I such a coward?"

A few minutes later he came back in, with a vial of clear liquid, which he told me to take. It tasted vile, but I drank it dutifully while he stood over me. Shortly after, the sickness wore off, and we set about opening our other presents, and breakfasting on smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, brought by the house elves, on the rug in front of the fire.

"We should get dressed," Severus murmured, as we lay on our stomachs side by side by side by side on the rug, poring over a new spell book together and feeding one another Honeyduke´s Best Chocolates.

"And why is that?" I enquired, staring at his mouth, which was inches away from mine. His lips curled in a slow smile.

"Because we ought to show our faces to our...friends...and wish them a merry Christmas. And because snowballing on the front lawn is an old Hogwarts tradition."

"Well, I didn´t think you admitted to having any friends, and I certainly didn´t think that you ever did something because it was the sociable thing to do!"

I rolled over on to my back, my hair spread across the book, and continued wantonly,

"Besides, you haven´t been sociable enough with me yet!" as I undid the tie on my dressing gown. He looked down at my body then stared hungrily into my eyes, and his hair fell over my face and tickled my cheeks as he bent lower to kiss me. I flicked my tongue into his mouth, savouring the way he tasted both of chocolate and of himself, intermingled, and he groaned softly, sucking it gently and licking it with his own. As our kiss deepened the fire within me grew, so responsive to his touch, so deliciously needy. His hand stroked and cupped my breasts, brushing across my hardened, sensitive nipples, making me moan softly, before travelling down to where my legs were parted, ready to receive him. He sighed and breathed my name as he discovered my wetness, and I tugged at the sheet around his waist until it fell away and I saw the shadows dance and flicker over all his body in the firelight.

His right hand travelled down my side to my left hip, and slid round until it was stroking my thigh, pulling me gently on to my side. I moved closer to him, winding my leg round his thigh, and he groaned as the tip of his erection brushed against my stomach. He shifted slightly so that his hips were pressed more firmly against mine, and then he inserted himself into my waiting folds. I arched my back, wanting to be even closer, if that were possible, and he held me tightly, reflected flames from the fire dancing in his eyes as he gazed at me, his lips slightly parted now, full and swollen from our passion. I wanted those lips again, so I claimed them hungrily, sucking first the top, then the bottom, while he answered me in kind. Passion drove us now, and we ground against one another while our hands commenced a feverish exploration of hair, necks, chests, shoulders and thighs. We were mindless now, given over to our lust, and Severus moved over until he was on top of me, thrusting into me with abandon. I panted his name, over and over as if it was a mantra, and I believe it was. I climbed steadily higher and higher and at last my love for him exploded into pure bliss, and I screamed, digging my nails into his back, feeling him gush into me with white hot power, searing my flesh, making me climb higher still.

A long time later, he slid off me and we lay together side by side, looking up at the fairy lights twinkling around the vaulted ceiling. I turned to watch him in profile. He seemed miles away, deep in thought, and I wondered what demons he still fought.

"What is it, Severus?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Trying to remember another Christmas when I felt happy. I have to go back a long way."

I felt a pang then as my mind went back to that last Christmas with Phoebe and my parents. I reached for his hand and squeezed it. He smiled tightly, then broke the newly sombre mood, saying,

"Come on, I feel the need to injure someone! I think a few well-aimed snowballs in the direction of Lupin and Black might do the trick!"

I gave him a dark look, and he sniggered.

"You´d better leave your wand here, if you´re in that sort of mood! No magic, Severus! It´s all meant to be in fun!"

"Well, it´s only fun if I win," he said, matter-of-factly. Despairing of him, I groaned and let him pull me to my feet.