Hermione's Diary

Chapter 5

Seventh Year Easter Holidays

Thursday April 13

I've just come back from spending a few days at home with Mum and Dad. Term ended last weekend and on Saturday morning I had to leave on the train with everyone else, and not spend any time with Remus first! Mum and Dad were going to a conference in Prague today, for a week, so if I hadn't gone when I did I wouldn't have been able to see them. I got back late last night, only to find that Remus was still transformed so I can't see him until tonight!

He knows what I want, now that it's the holidays. Normal school rules don't apply until next weekend! I reminded him of that after the end-of-term feast on Friday and his ears went bright red! I know him well enough to know exactly what that means now!

I'm going to have a long soak in a bubbly bath now, and then I won't need to leave Remus's bed for at least two days!

I must get some more studying done this holiday, though, but I've scheduled it all into my revision planner. I was a bit generous with the time I've allotted for 'recreation', but I decided I deserved it! Oh, just thinking about making love to him again is making me tingle! It's been such a long time!

*************

I've just had the most wonderful surprise visitor, and he caught me in the bath!

I was lying up to my neck in bubbles, thinking of him - well, doing a lot more than just thinking about him, actually, and I'd just got to the stage where I had to whisper out his name when he answered me with mine! The shock of someone getting in to my bathroom, let alone bursting in on me at a crucial moment, made me jump so high I splashed water everywhere, and then he was kneeling at the side of the bath, reaching into the water to hold me, and kissing me so passionately I could hardly breathe! His sleeves were soaked, and as he kissed me he half stood up and actually climbed into the bath fully clothed, saying my name over and over. It's the most erotic experience I have ever had. Somehow or other, I managed to undo his trousers and take him in my hand, and he was so hard and hot and I wanted him so much and he was shuddering and he felt so wonderful! It was fast and furious and desperate at first, but then he suddenly stopped and we gazed deep into each other's eyes, and I nearly cried because he was panting and almost sobbing with need and I love him so much! After a while we started again, more slowly, and it was sheer bliss. And when we came, we held each other so tight, tighter than ever before.

It's a good job the walls are thick and the school's nearly empty because neither of us remembered to do a Silencing charm until much later on, when we were in my bed.

I may have to schedule in a lot more recreation time into my revision planner.

Friday April 14

I'm taking a fifteen minute break from my Arithmancy revision to write this. Oh, I'm in heaven! Remus and I have made love so much since yesterday that I feel sore all the time and I can hardly walk! And sitting down for long periods of time isn't that comfortable either at the moment! And I know I could make the discomfort go away, and maybe tonight I will, but for now I'm on my own, in the library, and I don't want to. I like the constant reminder of him, and how he felt. Gods, he's a wonderful lover! And he's insatiable, and he can keep going for ages. Such amazing self control, not like me, who's all over the place, screaming in abandon at what he does to me, coming at the slightest touch of his lips on my - yes, well, I can't write about that. Not here in the library. I know there's no-one here but me, but even so...Anyway, he's fantastic at it. What more can I say? And he adores me, he really really does! I don't think I could possibly be any happier.

Remus came to find me just as the dinner bell sounded. He came loping over to my table with his hands in his pockets and a huge smile on his face, and when he kissed me...ohhh! His hair was damp and flopping over his face, and I grumbled at him for having a shower without me! He laughed and said he thought I preferred baths! I told him we'll have to try out the shower together again before I can make up my mind. He kissed all the way down my neck and then he told me I tasted good enough to eat, and he was starving! We went to the Great Hall anyway...I've seen what he can put away at mealtimes, and I wouldn't want to deprive him of a square meal!

We tried to 'exercise a little decorum' (his words!) during dinner, so there was no canoodling or innuendo. But I did whisper to him at one point that I wanted him so much I had to keep clenching my thighs together. I couldn't resist, I just love to make him go all pink-eared and squirmy!

Snape was there. He didn't sit near us, and he didn't speak to anybody at all, not even Professor McGonagall. Actually, the two of them were two very good reasons for Remus and me to be discreet. Professor McGonagall would disapprove, I'm sure, and poor Professor Snape doesn't need to have his nose rubbed in it. Oops. That sounds awful, I didn't mean to mention his nose.

Talking about his nose, however, and the uses to which noses, in general but I imagine large ones in particular, can be put...reminds me that I wanted to write about what Remus did to me today. I love Remus's nose. I love everything about him. This morning when I woke up, he wasn't with me. I remembered waking up a few times in the night and his arm was always draped over me, and his legs wound around mine, so I knew he'd stayed. I called to him, and he came out from the bathroom wearing nothing but a smile and....!!!!. He stretched himself out alongside me and ran his hand along my jaw and under my hair as he kissed me, then he ran his tongue down to my breasts and licked hard. I asked what he was doing and he smiled and said he was saying good morning to every little bit of me, and to lie still so that he didn't miss any of me out! So of course, after that comment I couldn't stop wriggling. He drove me wild, kissing and licking all the way down past my thighs, and then back up again until he reached the tops of my legs. He parted them, and kissed inside my thighs...and then nearly sent me through the ceiling.

I've read all about cunnilingus, of course, and I've always wondered what it could feel like, but books don't give you the vaguest clue as to what it's really like....I was a quivering wreck by the time he'd finished with me. I was sobbing and shaking, I'd wanted it never to end and yet at the same time I couldn't stand the ecstasy he was making me feel! I was crying out his name and the tears wouldn't stop. I couldn't help it. He crawled back up the bed and pulled me to him, and he rocked me and shushed me and comforted me, and he was just so incredibly loving and gentle, which just made me worse!

He ended up leaning against the headboard with all my pillows behind him (he used a charm so they arranged themselves, it's a really good one so I've memorised it) and I lay in his arms, snuggling into his chest. He has a very hairy chest. I asked if it was always that hairy, or was it just because he'd only just transformed. He seemed to think that was really funny, but he said no, it's always that hairy. The hairs are all grey, and very soft. I could quite happily bury my face in there and never come out. I told him that, and he squeezed me and said that twenty minutes before, he'd felt exactly the same about me! I blushed then. And decided I wanted to see if fellatio was as much fun as cunnilingus. I strongly suspected that it would be, with him, and I was right.

Tuesday April 19

I've just re-read my last diary entry, about what Remus did, and what I did after. I've sort of been putting off writing about it, because it feels weird to, but I keep telling myself that it's one of those things I'll want to remember. I suppose a pensieve would be even better, but I don't have one, and they're very expensive. It's not as if I can ask Remus to buy me one, it isn't even my birthday or Christmas. I can't just say,

"Oh, Remus, please could you spend this month's wages on a pensieve for me? I want to use it to remember the first blow job I ever gave you!"

Hardly. I'll just have to put aside my misgivings about writing down something so explicitly, and give a blow by blow account. Har har har. Ron and Harry would have such a laugh at that comment. Not that I'm ever going to tell them! Good grief, what an embarrassment if they found out!

I almost wish I'd never done it. It's just left me feeling there's more about him to want, now, because I miss the way he tastes now, along with everything else...the way he feels inside me, his kisses - everywhere - his hairy chest, his musky scent, his strength...just everything.

He was just...wonderful. He lay back on all the pillows and I knelt between his legs and put my hands on his shoulders and then just stroked him, along his collarbone and over his shoulders, then around his neck and under his hair, and he lay there and just smiled contentedly, with his fringe flopping over onto his forehead (gods I love the way it does that!). Then I started to kiss the places I was stroking, and his arms came up to stroke my hair. I kissed all over his chest and ran my hands up and down his sides. He really liked that, because he kept sighing, and I could feel something happening further down too. By the time I'd reached his belly button I think he'd realised what I wanted to do because he started to whisper my name and arch his back. I ran my hands along the outside of his thighs, which are far less hairy than his shins, and then moved around to stroke the softer skin of his inner thigh.

I could smell him now, because I was getting pretty close to where I wanted to be, and I think he was giving off pheromones or something because he wasn't the only one who was really turned on by this point. I kissed his thighs and let my hair fall all over him and brush across him. He loved that, and he groaned. I kissed my way up to the hollow of his hip, and gradually round to the thick hair of his groin, then I nuzzled into it and breathed him in. He smelt of sex, and musk, and animal lust. I felt his erection twitch against the side of my head, and so I stopped what I was doing so that I could have a nice, long, close-up look at it. I never really had before, so I was curious. It's lovely. Long and straight, not all short and stubby like Viktor's was....

It was very salty, but not unpleasant. I remember reading somewhere that it can taste a little different according to the type of food the man eats. Remus eats everything he can get his hands on so I don't know how he'd feel about experimenting with different food groups. I think I'll ask him anyway, it would be an interesting experiment and I think he'd enjoy my doing the field tests!

How can someone so strong be so gentle? He is wonderful. And what I was doing felt wonderful too, and not just for him. I hope he comes back soon then I can do it again. He's gone off into the forest on his broomstick with Madam Hooch, scanning the perimeter to check all the wards. Dumbledore says we can never be too careful these days.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I felt so powerful! To have a man like Remus writhing around underneath me, calling out my name, helplessly under my control was amazingly erotic... But oh, the way he looked at me when I climbed back up to lean on his chest! He made me feel like a goddess...

I made sure I caressed his balls all the time, too. He really liked that. I don't think all men do, though, although I'm hardly experienced in the matter. I wish Ella was still here to ask. OK, scrub that thought. I'd rather not know!

Speaking of Snape...he's not doing too well. I think he spends every evening drinking himself into oblivion, because no-one even sees him prowling the corridors at night any more, and he's always extra foul in lessons. To give him his due, though, it hasn't affected his teaching. Since we're all used to him being a complete bastard anyway. He misses Ella so much, it's written all over him. I feel so sorry for him. Remus has tried to get through to him but his efforts just get thrown back in his face. He asked Snape why he didn't go after her, everybody knows she's at Beauxbatons, but he won't go. Seems to think he doesn't deserve her anyway. I thought when Sirius went, he'd follow out of jealousy but he didn't.

Remus has been gone for about two hours now. He said he'd be back in time for dinner, of course. We haven't been apart since last week. I've even been revising in bed, snuggled up to him. It's been blissful. I don't know how I'll cope without him next week when term starts again, but I suppose we don't have that much longer to wait. Besides, I am a firm believer in the importance of clandestine assignations. And if he tries to argue, I'll remind him of how persuasive I can be.

Poor Remus, he really doesn't stand a chance!

Wednesday April 27

It's been three days and I'm climbing the walls. I hate this dorm, I hate my room, and I hate sleeping alone. I've only seen Remus at meal times and my tutorial isn't until tomorrow, Lavender and Seamus are snogging in the corner of the common room and I feel like just hitting them both, and all Harry and Ron can do is pester me for help with their revision. And to cap it all, my period started today so even when I do see Remus tomorrow I can't even try to get him to make love to me.

If anyone dares talk to me I think I'll scream.