The Wounded

The Wounded

Chapter 10

Lupin took a deep breath, then closed the hall door. How's the dog, is he all right? He looked down, but Sev-the-Dog was looking around, unconcerned. So far, so good, Lupin thought, and then, for the hundredth time, I should have him on a leash. But he didn't have a leash, and magic animals weren't kept on leashes. And something in him rebelled at putting the dog on a leash, as if it were too much of an indignity. If anything happens, if he's frightened, if he tries to run away, or, perish the thought, if he attacks anyone, Lupin thought, I'll have to be prepared to stun him.

He should be all right. It's only the fourth day, he's still shaky on his legs. That's a good thing, he'll be easier to control, Lupin told himself, again for the hundredth time. But the truth was, Lupin himself couldn't take another day in the room. Even a homebody like him needed to get out, and he couldn't stand the sight of the beautiful green lawns out his window.

"Stay close by me," he told Sev-the-Dog, and they walked down the corridor. Lupin kept his pace slow and easy, and the dog seemed to have no trouble keeping up. He could walk quite well now, his balance had improved rapidly over the past few days. Lupin hoped to get him running today, outside.

He rubbed Sev-the-Dog's back - he didn't have to reach down at all, the dog was tall enough, on those long, thin legs, to stand nearly as high as Lupin's hip. The hair felt silky under his fingers - the dog had a bath that morning. It had gone much better than Lupin had expected. Sev-the-Dog was perfectly willing to be waited on, even bathed. Childhood instincts there? It would go with being raised in a home with House Elves, being waited on, taken care of, as a young boy.

And now, Lupin had to admit, the dog looked almost handsome, after the bath and a good brushing. The silky, black hair hung smoothly, and covered a lot of the dog's wraith-like thinness. And as he grew stronger, and more used to his body, his movement had an elegance and dignity, much as he had as a man. And, at the moment, he wasn't feeling threatened, and his usual stalking, menacing air hadn't appeared, although that probably wouldn't last.

So far they hadn't run into anyone, the corridors were silent. Lupin glanced into the Great Hall as they passed the entrance, but it was empty. Breakfast was long over, and the students were probably all outside now, or back in their rooms.

There were the great doors, leading outside, just in front of them. They might make it without running into anyone at all. Lupin wanted to expose Sev-the-Dog to more people today, but there was no point in pushing it. Better to wear him out with some outside play first. They just had to cross the entrance hall, and they'd be in the fresh air.

"Remus J. Lupin," called a familiar, stern voice behind him. "Just what is going on?"

Lupin turned to see Professor McGonagall looking at him very suspiciously, arms crossed, and one eyebrow raised.

"Just taking the dog outside, Minerva," he said. "You did hear I was taking care of a dog, didn't you?"

The eyebrow went even higher. "Don't even think of using that innocent look on me, Remus. It didn't work when you were a boy, and it doesn't work now." She glared at him. "And that is no dog." Lupin opened his mouth to protest and she went on, "Don't even think you can fool a Transfiguration master, Remus. That's a transfigured human."

Lupin winced. "Not so loudly, Minerva, it's supposed to be a secret."

She came closer, bending down and looking at the dog, staring into its black eyes. Lupin hovered, worried about the dog's reaction, but Sev-the-Dog merely stared back at McGonagall. She peered, intently. Then her eyes widened, and she looked up at Lupin. "Remus, does he know?"

Lupin sighed. I suppose there was really no chance of fooling her, he thought, and he said, "No, right now, he has no memory. And he won't remember this when he's changed back."

She looked back into the dog's face, and shook her head, then looked thoughtful. She raised her hand slowly and held it for the dog to smell. He placed his nose under her fingers, and she stroked the black head. "It's a good thought," she said. "I hope it helps him."

"We didn't have a lot of time to come up with anything. Albus can tell you the whole story," Lupin said.

She nodded. "I thought he left too quickly, even for him. Not even a good-bye. And that poppycock story about travelling." She breathed in quickly and pursed her lips. Was there a little tremble there, thought Lupin. She held the dog's chin in her hand and looked straight into the black eyes. "Poor thing," she said.

"Obviously, this is not something we want the world to know about."

"No, of course not." She stood up, still keeping a hand on the dog's head. "Who else knows?"

"Albus, Hagrid, Hermione, Poppy, Dobby," Lupin said. "And now you."

Minerva nodded. "Well, if it's any comfort, I doubt there's anyone else who'll figure it out. Though I wouldn't expose him to too many people."

"I'm not planning on taking him to Diagon Alley, or anything like that. No further than Hogsmeade, at most."

She continued looking into the dog's eyes, her hand on his head. He had his head back, looking up at her. Then she sighed, and pulled her hand away. "You go have fun outside then. Merlin knows, he could use it, after all these years."

With that, they parted, and he and Sev-the-Dog went through the great doors and out into the sunlit courtyard. Lupin had to blink, to let his eyes get used to the brightness. He'd been inside far too long.

Sev-the-Dog was still calm and unconcerned. That's right, you know this place, even if you don't remember it, thought Lupin.

It felt so good to be outside. Lupin breathed in the air, and stepped out, stretching his legs. Sev-the-Dog kept up with no trouble, and they walked out to the open spaces of the lawns around Hogwarts.

A little faster now? Lupin moved into a slow jog, watching the dog all the while. Sev-the-Dog moved into an easy trot beside him, legs moving together, on each side. Not too different from walking.

It was only when Lupin broke into a run that the dog had trouble - he tried a faster trot but that wasn't enough, and his legs looked in danger of getting tangled. Lupin slowed down, and let the dog catch up to him. Sev-the-Dog gave him a reproachful look as he came up to Lupin's side.

Hmm. Maybe a little incentive? Lupin pulled his red ball out from his robes. "Here, want to play?" he said, trying to sound enticing, holding the ball as if it were a piece of glittering treasure.

Sev-the-Dog looked completely uninterested.

All right, then

, thought Lupin, we'll see if you can resist it when I throw it. He pulled his arm back, and let the ball fly - not too far, not so far that the dog might think it was too much trouble to go after. But a good twenty feet away.

Sev-the-Dog watched the ball arc overhead, and then land in the grass. He looked at Lupin and sniffed.

"Look, there it is, go get it," Lupin said enthusiastically. Sev-the-Dog yawned, and looked away.

"So, having a little trouble there, are you?" Hagrid's voice sounded behind him.

Lupin turned to see Hagrid standing a few yards away, Fang beside him. Lupin grinned sheepishly. "Well, considering he was barely walking a few days ago, I think he's doing pretty well." A look at Sev-the-Dog here, to see how he'd react to Hagrid, but the dog was as calm as he'd been with Minerva.

Hagrid nodded. "Maybe he could use someone to show him. Give a little demonstration, like."

"Do you think Fang could run and fetch for him?" Lupin asked.

Hagrid barked a laugh. "Fang'd be better at showing him sleeping than fetching, I'd say. No, I was thinking you could show him. I know you've been changing to wolf outside of the full moon, now that you've been on the Wolfsbane Potion."

Lupin frowned. "Only when I was sure there was a qualified wizard around, just in case."

"I'll be here, if you like. And my place is just over there, if you're feeling modest about getting undressed first."

Lupin gulped. It's a good idea, he thought. I've just never done this with anyone but Severus. "You're sure you don't mind?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Hagrid said.

"All right, then." Lupin turned toward Hagrid's hut. Sev-the-Dog walked with him, through the door, and into the warm, dark room inside.

"It's all right," Lupin said. "It'll still be me, you know that." He pulled off his clothing, and laid it neatly on a chair. Sev-the-Dog watched, head cocked. Then Lupin took a deep breath and concentrated. Within a minute, where the man had been, there was a great, grey wolf, taller even than the black dog before him. He didn't have the horrible struggle with the change anymore, now that he'd been on the Wolfsbane Potion for so many years.

Lupin the wolf stepped forward, to where Sev-the-Dog stood, and they looked briefly into each other’s eyes. Then Lupin turned and pushed the door open, and the dog followed him out into the sunlight. Lupin trotted over to Hagrid. Hagrid had picked up the red ball, and he grinned at Lupin.

"First time I've ever had a good look at you when you were like this," Hagrid said. "I did see you when you were a boy, you know, when you and your friends ran wild at night, but that was from a distance. Quite a sight that was, the four of you."

Lupin looked back up at him, shyly. Hagrid grinned. "Nothing to be ashamed of. Right now, with full moon a ways away, it's more like you're an Animagus, isn't it." He held up the ball. "Now, what's say we show this fellow how to have a little fun?"

Lupin jumped up and gave a happy bark. He glanced over at Sev-the-Dog, who stood quietly watching.

Hagrid threw the ball, which soared high up into the air. Lupin leapt after it. How good it felt, to stretch his wolf legs, to watch the ground passing by in a blur below him, to smell the grass. The ball was coming down in front of him and he jumped into the air and caught it before it hit the ground. He fell back to the grass below, and then dashed back to Hagrid, ball firmly in his teeth.

Sev-the-Dog hadn't moved from where he stood. He simply looked at Lupin, with a superior expression on his face.

Lupin raced straight at him, only moving to the side at the last minute, as Sev-the-Dog stepped backwards, glaring at him. Lupin whirled around, circling him, making a great show of holding the ball out. Come get it, come get it! But Sev-the-Dog merely looked at him disdainfully.

"It's no good," Hagrid said. "He's not going for the ball. Maybe you should try to get him to chase you, instead."

Lupin dropped the ball onto the ground, and stood still in front of Sev-the-Dog, thinking. Sev-the-Dog looked back at him. Lupin barked, wagging his tail, and dashed around him, then darted off, stopping after about twenty feet to look behind him. Sev-the-Dog had not moved.

All right then, thought Lupin, and he grinned to himself. He gathered his legs under him, and then he shot forward like a cannonball, heading straight for Sev-the-Dog. Only this time, Lupin did not turn aside, instead he barreled into him, bowling him over, gripping him in his front legs so that the two of them rolled over and over each other on the grass.

Lupin was up on his feet in an instant, barking joyously, and he darted off, not too fast. Sev-the-Dog rose more awkwardly to his feet, annoyance radiating from his face. He stood, frozen, watching Lupin.

And then he shot after him, head down, body stretched out. Lupin let him come closer, then he sped forward, and the two of them ran across the lawns, Lupin twisting and circling, dodging here and there, and Sev-the-Dog close behind him, following his every move. Lupin glanced back every so often, to make sure he was keeping up, and saw on that bony face, not annoyance, nor joy, but fierce concentration. That would have to do for now.

He ran back and circled around Hagrid and Fang (Fang lay on the ground, watching, but showing no interest whatsoever in joining them). Hagrid reached over and picked up the ball, and threw it again. Lupin barked and shot after it, Sev-the-Dog close behind him. Lupin wasn't fast enough to catch the ball in mid-air this time, though, and it hit the ground and bounced and rolled. Lupin darted forward to catch it. Would Sev-the-Dog go for it? But no, the dog held back, watching Lupin grip the ball in his teeth, and following as Lupin raced back to Hagrid.

Hagrid took the ball and threw it again, and again, and the two of them raced after it each time. Sev-the-Dog would not try to catch or carry the ball, but he seemed content to run with Lupin, back and forth across the grass, or to follow Lupin when he varied the route they took, dodging and whirling across the lawns, until they each were worn out completely, and collapsed panting on the ground beside Hagrid.

Hagrid grinned broadly. "Now, that was a beautiful sight." He sat down on the grass beside them, reaching out to pat Lupin on the head, and then Sev-the-Dog, who ducked his head easily under Hagrid's big hand.

They all lay quietly on the grass, the wolf and the dog still catching their breath, when they heard a call from a ways off. All heads turned, to see Harry and Ron, walking towards them across the grass.

Lupin turned towards Sev-the-Dog in alarm. The dog looked wary, and tense, but no more than that. He's too tired, thought Lupin. He got up, shook himself, then lay down beside the dog, between him and the boys. Sev-the-Dog pressed close to him, Lupin could feel how tense he was. Lupin carefully made himself relax; maybe it would transfer over to him. I'm not afraid, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Harry and Ron reached them, though they both held back from the dogs, staying on the other side of Hagrid. They said their hellos, and both grinned broadly at Lupin, who smiled shyly and nodded his head back at them. They've never seen me in wolf form, he thought, not since that terrible night when the full moon caught me.

But neither boy seemed afraid, instead they both looked at him with keen interest. "Is it all right?" Harry asked. "Do you mind?"

Lupin shook his head. I do mind, a little, he thought, but it's good for me, to be with people when I'm like this. And it's good for Sev-the-Dog, too, for me to be here, like this, with them.

"We saw you from across the grounds," Ron said. "You were awesome." He reached over and picked up the red ball, which had rolled across the grass. "Maybe we could have a go? If you feel like it?"

"I think they're a bit tired, now," Hagrid said. "But maybe later." And Lupin barked what he hoped would come across as a "Yes."

The boys talked with Hagrid. Apparently the Quiddich games were off now, something about a tiff between them and some of the other students, but Harry and Ron had been exploring the Hogwarts grounds. Lupin listened lazily, laying his head down in the grass. Sev-the-Dog lay tense beside him, but made no move to jump up, or snarl at the boys.

And then Harry looked their way, and froze, his face startled. Lupin looked at him, but Harry wasn't looking at him, he was looking at the dog. Lupin turned. Sev-the-Dog's face was frozen in a look of absolute hatred, and he was staring straight at Harry, even though he crouched down behind Lupin, leaning against him. He wasn't shaking this time. Lupin sighed. He's behaving the way he did when he was human.

And, Lupin saw, the dog's hair was completely unkempt, lank and shaggy, hanging in clumps, as if he hadn't had a bath in weeks. We did roughhouse in the grass, Lupin thought. Could that have caused it? But he knew this was far worse than a few rolls on the ground could have caused. It was almost as if the human Snape were beside him, in one of his worst moods, greasy hair and hating eyes.

What if I can't get him out of this? Lupin thought. What if he remains stuck this way, just as he was when he was human?

x-x-x

"Can you fix it, Poppy?" Lupin asked.

Madame Pomfrey looked at the dog sitting on the hospital bed in front of her, sighed, and shook her head. "This is an old problem, I'm afraid," she said. "I could do something that would fix it for now, but it would come right back."

"What do you mean?" Lupin asked.

Sev-the-Dog sat quietly. His stance was dignified, the expression on his face was superior, but there was something inside him shaking, Lupin could see.

"It's self-imposed," Madame Pomfrey said. She looked sadly at the dog, and ran a hand along his head. "Not consciously, you understand. It happens a lot in the old Pureblood families. You remember James's hair?"

Lupin nodded. "He was proud of how it always looked like he'd just left the Quiddich field."

"He couldn't have made it different if he'd tried, or at least, not without a lot of spells and potions, and that would only be temporary. He might as well change the color of his eyes with a spell, it would last for a while, but they'd always change back."

"So you're saying that Severus is stuck with this hair, always looking like this?" Poor fellow. And here we always assumed he didn't know anything about personal hygiene.

"It's a little more complicated for him," Madame Pomfrey said. "It reacts to the way he feels about himself, inside."

"Ah," Lupin said. "Yes, he was fine all morning, until Harry showed up. Then it went like this, very suddenly."

Madame Pomfrey nodded. "There's not very much I can do, I'm afraid."

"Can it change back?" Lupin asked. "If he starts to feel better about himself?"

"Well, yes, he should. But he never was one to recover himself, ever." She shook her head. "Once he gets like this, he seems to be stuck. It's a vicious cycle. He feels dirty and insignificant, and he becomes a match to the way he feels, and then he feels like this because he looks like this."

Lupin winced. "What about his teeth, then?" Lupin said. "Can we at least turn them white? And straighten them out?"

"Yes, I can do that," she said. She waved her wand, and sparkling blue-white lights played along the dog's mouth. Sev-the-Dog started in surprise, but the lights were gone as quickly as they came. Lupin held the dog's jaw in one hand and lifted the gums. The teeth that had always been yellow and crooked were now straight and clean, and they glistened as white as porcelain.

"I've been wanting to do that for twenty years," Madame Pomfrey said, with satisfaction.

Lupin gave the dog a pat. Sev-the-Dog glared at him, but he leaned into Lupin's hand just the same.

x-x-x

Lupin took Sev-the-Dog out again that evening, for a quiet walk after dinner. The dog still looked lank and unkempt. Lupin had hoped that, with words of encouragement and praise, the dog might start to look better, but so far, there had been no change.

But it was still pleasant, out in the cool air, watching the sky turn from blue, to fiery red and orange, and then to deeper blues and greys, with points of light as the stars began to shine. The moon was still waning, going towards the new moon. Still over two weeks before full moon, he thought, with a warm feeling of relief.

As he and the dog turned back towards Hogwarts, he saw Harry and Ron, walking along the path towards the gate. Sev-the-Dog immediately started to walk away from them, back towards the school, but Lupin touched his shoulder, and turned him so that they would intercept the boys.

They waved at him as they saw him coming. "Harry's walking me to the gate," Ron grinned, then he rolled his eyes. "In case old Bellatrix is waiting for me outside."

Harry glared at Ron. Ron grinned and said, "As if I couldn't Apparate away faster than anything she could try. I think he just doesn't want to say good-bye."

Harry glared at Ron again. "It's dangerous, you know it is, Ron."

Ron shrugged. "She's had all summer to get me." Lupin gulped. We've been terrified for Harry, all summer, keeping him here at Hogwarts, but the two of them have been walking alone like this, all this time?

"But she's only just been seen recently," Harry said, sounding like he'd said this many times already.

Ron shrugged again. "Whatever. I'm glad of the company, at least."

Lupin tried to smile normally. "Then we'll walk with you, too. As added protection." Sev-the-Dog pressed against him, on the opposite side from the boys. He could almost feel the dog glaring at Harry.

Lupin looked ahead of them, down the path. It was nearly full dark now, and the gate was a huge, shadowy form against the deep blue sky. Outside, Lupin could see the darker masses of bushes along the wall, groves of trees nearby, and forest land beyond. Perfect hiding places for anyone who knew that Harry and Ron would be coming this way.

"Ron," Lupin said, "let me step outside first, and check around."

Ron rolled his eyes, but stood back.

Lupin looked down at Sev-the-Dog. "Watch the boys," he said very softly, so they wouldn't hear. Sev-the-Dog glared, but when Lupin moved through the gate, the dog stepped forward, between the boys and the outside, muscles tense and poised.

Lupin looked around, smelling the air. He couldn't detect anything that shouldn't be there, just the smells of the plants, and earth, and grass, the more distant smell of Hogsmeade further along the pathway. Could Bellatrix hide her scent? Could she make herself invisible?

"Come out and Apparate quickly, Ron," Lupin said.

Ron grinned. "I do appreciate the thought, Professor," he said as he stepped through the gate. He gave a final wave to Lupin, and to Harry, and then vanished.

Lupin watched, feeling a bit sheepish, all that worry for nothing. Well, better to be safe than sorry, he thought, as he walked back through the gate.

The dog was watching Harry, still with that look of hatred, but now also with a fixed intensity that was almost as alarming. He takes guarding Harry seriously, Lupin thought. Just as he always has. But, as Lupin returned, Sev-the-Dog immediately went to his side.

And the three of them returned to Hogwarts, under the now black sky, along the path made bright with stars and moonlight.

TBC