The Wounded

The Wounded

Chapter 6

Hermione knelt beside Lupin, as he lay on the ground, still paralyzed. He heard her say the counter curse softly, and his muscles relaxed, his arms fell gently against the ground, and his head sank into the rolled up cloak that Snape had placed beneath it.

He took a deep breath, then sat up.

"Once again, you saved the day, Hermione," he said, shaking his head and stretching out the stiffness in his muscles.

"Have I?" she said.

They both looked over at Snape, where he lay, stretched out on the ground.

"I almost let him go," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Lupin closed his eyes. "I know," he said, "but you did the right thing. You know you did."

Hermione was quiet. Then she said, "What do we do now?"

Lupin shrugged. "Get him back to Hogwarts."

"And then what?"

"I don't know," Lupin said. Snape's words "Are you going to lock me up at St. Mungo's?" rang uncomfortably in his head. No, he thought, not that, never that. "Dumbledore," Lupin said, "we'll get Dumbledore. I sent him a message last night."

Hermione looked back at him, then nodded.

Lupin paused to gather his strength, then stood up. He pointed his wand at Snape, and said, "Mobilocorpus." Snape's form rose gently from the ground. Lupin gestured with his wand until Snape was upright, his toes hanging inches above the grass.

"I'll get his trunk and cloak," Hermione said as she stood up beside him.

Lupin nodded, then he stepped forward, and took hold of Snape's arm. "I'll see you back at the gates," he said. Then he and Snape vanished, with a pop of air.

Lupin reappeared with Snape just outside the Hogwarts gates. He heard a pop as Hermione Apparated just behind him, her arm over the trunk. Lupin nodded at Hermione to go ahead of him, then he followed, guiding Snape's body through the gates. Then they started the long walk across the lawns.

This isn't good

, he thought. I can't take him into the building like this, he'll be seen, even if it is still early morning. I couldn't do that to him. Lupin stopped, trying to think, and Hermione almost bumped into him.

"What is it?" she asked.

Lupin shook his head at her, trying to think of something. Then his eye caught movement ahead of them. Oh no, he thought. Someone's seen us. Then he recognized Hagrid's huge shape, heading towards them across the lawn, and he said, out loud, "Ah, thank Merlin! Come on!" He walked quickly forwards, wand guiding the floating form of Snape.

"And just what might you all be up to?" Hagrid asked as Lupin reached him.

"Hagrid!" Lupin said. "It's a long story, but we need your help. Can we take Severus to your cottage, just for a little while, until we can get hold of Dumbledore and figure out what to do?"

Hagrid looked at Snape, floating unconscious, head lolling forward, then he looked back at Lupin, and raised a hairy eyebrow.

"Hagrid, please," Hermione said. "We can't let him be seen like this."

Hagrid nodded. "Tell you what. You two get him back to my place, and I'll see about getting hold of Dumbledore for you. He came back here this morning, early."

"Thank you, Hagrid," Lupin said. Hagrid strode off toward Hogwarts, while Lupin and Hermione made their way as quickly as possible to Hagrid's cottage. The door wasn't locked, it opened as soon as Hermione touched it. Fang, Hagrid's huge boarhound, looked up as they entered, but thumped his tail in recognition, and put his head back down.

Lupin guided Snape inside, and laid him gently down on Hagrid's bed. He pulled Snape's robes straight, and covered him with his cloak, the same cloak Snape had laid under Lupin's head, back in the clearing.

"We'll have to make sure he doesn't regain consciousness," Lupin said. He held his wand near Snape's head and whispered a Sleep Spell.

"We can't keep him asleep forever," Hermione said.

"Just until we decide what to do," Lupin said. "And no, I don't know what that is, right now. We need time to think."

Hermione nodded. They both pulled chairs over close to the bed, and sat down.

"I heard what he said, back there," Hermione said. "He's right. What else can we do but lock him up?"

"I'd let him go before I'd do that," Lupin said. Hermione nodded.

"It's just not fair," Hermione said. "He did so much, he's suffered so much, all these years. And no one cares."

Lupin smiled. "That's not entirely true. You care. And I care. And I don't think he was in this for accolades from the crowds."

"Harry doesn't care," Hermione said. "Even though Professor Snape has saved his life so many times."

"Severus went out of his way to make Harry hate him." Lupin looked over at Snape. "And Severus hates Harry. Harry represents everything that Severus wants, but believes he can never have."

"Harry doesn't even want to be Harry," Hermione said. "But, I suppose, Professor Snape sees Harry's father still, when he looks at Harry, doesn't he."

Lupin nodded, "Yes." He shrugged, and stood up. "I don't know about you, but I dashed out without any breakfast, and I could kill for a cup of tea." He set the tea kettle over the fire - it was still warm, and wouldn't take long to heat up.

The kettle was just starting to steam when he looked out the window and saw Hagrid striding back toward the cottage. And his heart soared as he recognized the tall figure of Albus Dumbledore, walking beside him.

Hagrid took over the tea-making from Lupin, while Dumbledore drew a chair over to where Lupin and Hermione were sitting, by Snape. "I see you were not able to persuade him, Remus," he said, looking over at the long, black form on the bed.

"No," Lupin said. "He left this morning. I tried to talk to him, but he . . ." Lupin shrugged. "If Hermione hadn't been there, he'd be gone."

Dumbledore did not look away from Snape. He seemed very old and frail.

Lupin went on. "He sees no hope of any kind of future, or happiness. The things he's lived through are not things he can simply put behind him. He doesn't see himself fitting in anywhere. And he doesn't believe that can change."

Dumbledore still looked at Snape. "I know," he said, softly, barely more than a whisper. "He has endured--" Dumbledore shook his head "--unspeakable horrors." Dumbledore took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, then looked back at Snape.

"I needed a weapon," Dumbledore said, his voice thin, and distant. "I knew we would need someone who could get close to Voldemort. It had to be someone very intelligent. And very brave."

Lupin and Hermione watched him, in stunned silence. By the fireplace, Hagrid, too, was very still.

Dumbledore sighed. "I started looking at children before they even came to Hogwarts. I had many possibilities, at first, in the classes around yours, Remus. I thought, for a while, it might be Sirius, you know. But he was too volatile. He would never have survived. There were others, but in the end, I knew it would be Severus.

"I helped shape the man he became. I left him alone, at times when I knew he needed help desperately. There was a time when I thought he was lost altogether. But he did not fail me. He became what we so greatly needed. But, by shaping him, I failed him."

Lupin looked down. "He said, that what you would feel, mostly, if you found out he were dead, was guilt. And pity."

"Oh, much more than that," Dumbledore said. "I followed his life as closely as I followed Harry's. In his way, he was nearly as important."

"But now, the war is over, and the weapon is no longer needed," Lupin said. "Can the weapon be reshaped?"

"I do not know," Dumbledore said. "The damage in him is so deep, and it goes back so far."

All of them were silent.

"What can we do for him?" said Hermione. "I know that, in the Muggle world, he'd go to a therapist, a special healer, who'd help him work through everything. And there are drugs he might take, for a while."

"Much the same, in the wizard world," Dumbledore said. "There are healers, who deal with wounds of the spirit. Potions to temporarily ease the heartache."

"He won't talk to one," Lupin said. "He'd rather die, he's made that plain. And it's not something we can force him to do -- it's not like a wound of the body, where we could tie him down and force healing potions into him. He has to cooperate. And he cannot bear the thought of being that vulnerable to anyone." He looked at Dumbledore. "Not even you, I think."

Dumbledore nodded. "He cannot bear the thought that I, or you, would turn from him in disgust. No matter how much we may assure him that we would not."

Lupin looked again at Snape, under the black cloak on the bed. The long face was blank now, even peaceful, for Snape. "I don't think it's the memories of being a Death Eater that are really the problem, for him," he said. "It's something deeper, and older. I think he believes, in his heart, that he is vile, and worthless. And yet he wants so much to be accepted, admired, liked." He looked at Dumbledore. "Loved."

"It is what made him vulnerable to Voldemort," Dumbledore said. "His hunger for love and acceptance."

"So that's where the problem really lies, isn't it," Lupin said. "Cure that, and he could deal with the rest, I think."

Hermione looked very thoughtful. "Could we make him a child again? That's where the damage is, isn't it? Could we work with him, at that level? Sort of overlay the things that were done wrong, the things that hurt him."

Dumbledore shook his head. "No. It is a good idea, but no. Taking a human body back to an earlier age is very complicated, and very, very dangerous. There are often terrible consequences, even when it is done for a short time. And for him, for what we would need to do, it would not be a short time, it could be years."

Lupin nodded, and said, "That's why you don't see witches and wizards performing youth spells on themselves."

"Of course," Hermione said, shaking her head. "I forgot, I wasn't thinking of it as a youth spell."

Hagrid came over from the fireplace with the tea kettle. "People are so complicated," he said, as he poured out cups of tea for each of them. "If we were talkin' about a dog, you know, one that's been hurt, so that it's lost its trust in people, you just give it a lot of love and kindness and it'll come back to you. Just takes time, and patience, that's all."

Lupin froze, tea cup inches from his lips.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, "if it were only that easy. But, as you say, people are much more complicated. Severus more than most."

"But a dog is not," Lupin said. "Albus, I agree, a child would be too dangerous. But what about a dog? What if we turned him into a dog?"

Everyone turned to look at him.

"Think for a minute," Lupin went on. "We turn him into a dog, just for a while, maybe only a month or so. We take away his memories of being human, while he's a dog. When we turn him back, we take away all his memories of being a dog. But, during that time, we can try to heal him, as a dog. Like you said, Hagrid, give him the love and kindness he never got, at that level, the level of a dog, that deep down part of his mind. As a man, he would never accept it. But as a dog, with a dog's nature, he just might."

The other three all looked thoughtful.

"A dog would need no memories," Lupin said. "A dog has instincts - the instincts of the dog's body. And he'd have those behaviors and feelings that have become instinctive to him as a man. That's the level we'd be working at, with him."

"The idea has possibilities," Dumbledore said. And he seemed to nod his head, just a little.

"It's a terrible thing to do to someone, force it on them," Hermione said. "But it's better than locking him up. We'd just have to make sure he never found out that this was done to him."

"Would you volunteer to take care of this dog, Remus?" Dumbledore said.

"Of course," Lupin said.

"I can think of no one better," Dumbledore said. "I think between you, Remus, Hermione, you have hit on a very novel and workable way of handling this problem." He looked over at Snape. "Although I do believe Severus is more of a cat, don't you think?"

"I am NOT dealing with that man as a cat," Lupin said. "Hermione," he added quickly as she was about to protest, "you know I think the world of Crookshanks. But you know the kind of cat Severus would turn out to be. Wandering out at all hours, only showing up at mealtimes. And he'd scratch and bite, we'd be covered in bandages." He looked at Snape. "We need a dog's nature for him, to help him. A dog's instincts."

"I think you are right," Dumbledore said. He put down his tea cup, and stood up. "I don't think I need to tell you all that you must agree to keep this completely secret." Lupin, Hermione and Hagrid all nodded. "Good. Madame Pomfrey will have to know as well, since she'll need to know this is not a real dog, but a transfigured human if anything happens to him. But no one else will know."

Dumbledore walked to the bedside, by Snape, and pulled the black cloak that was covering him to one side. "So I will change him into a dog. I will let his own nature choose the breed and appearance."

He raised his hands, and held them over Snape's body. He spoke no words, merely closed his eyes. And Snape's form seemed to melt and flow like water, quickly, drawing into itself, losing all resemblance to a human, or to anything. And then, just as quickly, it drew out again, forming into long legs, a face that lengthened out to a muzzle.

All of them were standing, watching. Lupin held his breath, and stepped closer to the bed, feeling Hermione step beside him, Hagrid close behind, looking over them all.

Within only a few seconds, where the man had been, there was a large, black dog. But nothing like the large, black dog Sirius had been. Sirius had been a great, bulky creature, almost more bear than dog.

What lay on the bed now was completely different. This creature was thin, skeletally thin. All bones and whipcord muscles under long, lank, black hair. Long thin legs, a long thin body, a long, bony head with a great Roman nose, like a borzoi. It was ugly, it had an evil look about it. Lupin glanced over at Hermione, and she, too, was clearly taken aback by the dog's appearance.

Hagrid sucked in his breath. "That's a Spectral Hound," he said, amazement in his voice. "I've only seen one or two, they're that rare. They're the special guard dogs of the Dark Wizarding families."

"Can't we make him look a little more . . . I mean, not so . . ." Hermione said.

"Ugly," Lupin finished for her. "He's been cursed with bad looks as a human--"

"He's not ugly," Hagrid said, leaning closer. "He's beautiful. You just have to learn to look at him the right way."

Lupin and Hermione looked at each other. "Of course," Lupin said, "it's not so important, for a dog. Ugly -- I mean, dogs that aren't conventionally attractive," he said, with a glance at Hagrid, "can still be endearing, after all. Maybe it's better that he be like that. And learn to be content with it."

"You and he will return to Hogwarts now, Remus," Dumbledore said, turning to them. "I'll take you back, so you won't be seen. I'll let everyone know at breakfast that Severus is gone. And that you'll be taking care of this dog. I'll tell them that I have given you a project, that you're fostering the dog, and rehabilitating it, so that it can be placed with a permanent family later. It is not far from the actual truth."

Dumbledore held up a hand, and the dog that had been Snape floated up off the bed. He nodded at Lupin.

And suddenly, the three of them were back in Lupin's rooms. It didn't feel like Apparating, but then, it couldn't be, could it, it was something else, that only Dumbledore knew how to do. Lupin shook his head, still feeling a little dizzy, while Dumbledore floated the big dog over to the sofa, and let it down gently. Its long legs hung over the sides, and the bony head lolled flat. Lupin knelt down beside the sofa.

"He'll be unconscious for a while yet," Dumbledore said. "And I've put an additional spell on him so that he'll be very groggy and weak for several days afterwards. This is an enormous shock to his body, and he'll need to recover from it."

"And it's not a bad thing for him to be dependent on me for a while," Lupin said, feeling a little guilty.

"I'll arrange for your meals to be sent in for the next few days."

Lupin nodded, staring at the black creature on his sofa.

"Remember, he isn't really a dog," Dumbledore said, quietly. "He's a transfigured human. He may not have his memories, and the dog's brain will cloud his thinking somewhat, but he is still a man, in that dog's body. But you know what that feels like yourself."

Lupin nodded. "I'll treat him with respect." He smiled. "I suspect he'll demand it."

Dumbledore smiled, a little sadly. "Then I leave him with you, Remus. I know he's in the best care he could ever have."

"Thank you, sir. I'll do my best."

And Dumbledore was gone. Just like that.

Lupin sighed, and sat down on the sofa, by the dog's head. "Poor Sev--" He stopped himself. I can't call him that. I need to give him a name, I'll have to think of a name for him, that I can call him in front of people. An evil part of his mind said, Mr. Fluffy, and he couldn't help smiling. "No, I wouldn't do that to you," he said.

The dog gave a whimper, though still asleep. Lupin's hand automatically rose, and touched the bony head, and began to gently rub behind the ears. "It's a rotten trick we're playing on you, my friend," he said softly. "I promise, we won't let you remember any of it, and I'll never, ever tell you about it."

The dog whimpered again, and pushed its head against his hand, nosing into his lap. Lupin settled deep into the sofa cushions, and let the dog's head lay against his stomach, all the while keeping his hand rubbing softly against its head, stroking around the eye ridges and along the long, bony nose, moving back behind the ears, rubbing against the lank, black hair. The dog's chest rose and fell in easy breathing, and it pressed against him.

"Good boy," Lupin said, softly. "You're a good boy."

-

TBC