The Wounded

Title: The Wounded

Chapter Three

Lupin was still exhausted the next morning, when he woke, but he rose and bathed and dressed. Harry would be by for breakfast, and Lupin had most of the day to sleep if he wanted to.

Harry did not stay long - he was going to see Hagrid that morning. So he wolfed down the eggs and sausage that Dobby brought them, and was out the door again. Lupin had mixed feelings as he watched him leave. He'd enjoyed Harry's company again, as he had the day before, and it was good for Harry to see Hagrid. But it seemed as if Harry was trying a little too hard to keep himself busy.

Lupin let himself doze, afterwards, but made sure he was awake in time to lay the tea things out on the table, to start the kettle boiling, and the tea brewing. And when Snape appeared at his door, he was already pouring out. He held up a second cup, looked at Snape, and Snape nodded and said, "Thank you, yes."

Lupin gulped down the potion Snape gave him, then the two of them settled down with tea.

"I want to thank you, for coming by last night," Lupin said.

Snape nodded. "I know that I am not the only person you spend time with," he said stiffly, as if it were difficult. "And it's on my way. If I see you have gone on without me, I won't concern myself."

"Well, I do appreciate it. I wanted you to know that."

Snape frowned, but nodded. Enough of that subject, thought Lupin, on to something else.

"In two weeks, it'll be full moon," Lupin said. "Is that going to be handled any differently?" He cocked his head, "Of course, I don't know how you handled it last time, when I was unconscious in the hospital."

"We fed you the Wolfsbane Potion while you slept," Snape said. "We took you out of the hospital, though, and put you in another room. The strain of changing set you back, at first, but you seemed to recover even more quickly afterwards."

"So I'll just get the potion, like normal, " Lupin said, nodding. "I'll have you know, I plan to be much better by then. And I notice the red ball made it here with the rest of my things."

Snape gave him a completely blank look. Snape's version of looking innocent, Lupin thought.

"Although I notice that the Frisbee did not arrive along with it," Lupin said.

"Oh," said Snape. "What a shame."

"Funny how the house elves knew to bring the ball," Lupin said. "You'd think they'd’ve left something like that behind."

"House elves can be quite uncanny," Snape said, "the way they know just what to bring for someone. Clearly they recognized the ball as something that was important to you."

"And yet they missed the Frisbee."

"And yet they did."

"Oh well," Lupin settled back in the chair, and grinned at Snape. "I'll ask Dobby to get it for me." Did Snape grimace at that? Of course, the whole thing was such a game between them now.

Lupin finished his tea, and set the cup down on the table. "Do you think I'll be well enough to go back to the beach? It's summer, it'll be warm. And I promise not to run around too much."

"Perhaps. We'll have to see."

"I'd like to go. Even for a little while. If you don't mind, that is."

"If Poppy gives her permission, we'll go."

Lupin smiled. "I can't ask for more than that."

-

-

-

Lupin slept for the rest of the morning, out on the sofa. He awoke only when Snape knocked on the doorframe to take him to lunch. Lupin turned his head, and said, "I think I'll pass, today."

Snape knelt down beside him and looked him over. "You should at least eat something," he said. "I'll send a house elf by with some soup."

"Thanks," Lupin said, lying back down. "Funny how it hits me. I'll feel wide awake, and then, bang, I'm asleep."

"You shouldn't push things, when you feel better," Snape said, tone slightly accusing. Chiding me for last night, Lupin thought. But he smiled back at Snape and said, "You're right, I'll try to remember."

Snape left him, and it wasn't very long before Dobby popped into the room, with a tray.

"Professor Snape said you would be wanting some soup, Professor Lupin," Dobby said, placing the tray on a side table next to the sofa.

"Yes, thank you, Dobby," Lupin said, sitting up. Dobby popped out again, and Lupin slowly drank the soup. There was some bread and milk as well, and he wound up eating it all.

He dozed a little after that, but felt much better and awake when Hermione appeared in the doorway.

He smiled and waved her inside. "I'd have you close the door," he said, "but I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

"What?" Hermione said, as she sat down in one of the chairs. "A lady alone in a gentleman's chambers?" She grinned. "Don't tell me you're that old-fashioned?"

He flushed. "Well, there's that, too. But no, if we leave the door closed, we look like we're talking about things we don't want anyone to hear. Which we are, of course, but I don't want anyone to think that." He paused, and gave a weak grin. "I'm sorry, did that make any sense? I've been asleep all day."

She smiled. "I suppose it did make sense. We'll just have to sound like we're having a quiet chat." She sat easily in the chair. She'd relaxed a lot, from the overly prim girl she'd once been, but she still didn't have the ease of a normal teen-ager. But she'd been like an adult, even when he knew her as a thirteen-year-old, way older than her years. "So, Professor," she said, "what did you want to see me about?"

He paused. "I'm not quite sure how to begin." He looked down, and frowned. "This is based on hunches, I don't have any serious evidence, I could be completely wrong--" he looked at her, "--I hope I am. But . . ." How to say it? He took a deep breath. "It's about Professor Snape."

Hermione frowned, and almost rolled her eyes. "Not you, too, you're not going to tell me he's not to be trusted, or any of that nonsense, like Ron and Harry."

"No, no," Lupin said, quickly. "Nothing like that."

She was quiet, but she was still frowning.

"Look," Lupin said, and then stopped again. He settled himself back in the cushions on the sofa, and drew his knees up. Not the way a professor should sit, but he didn't care.

"Two years ago," Lupin said, "Severus told me something. About himself." He looked up at her. "You have to promise me that this goes no further. You can't tell anyone, not Harry, not Ron, not anyone."

"Not Professor Dumbledore?" Hermione asked.

"Dumbledore already knows. But no one else. Promise?"

Hermione frowned, but nodded.

"I don't like making you keep secrets from Harry," Lupin said. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't think it was necessary." Hermione looked directly at him, and he took another deep breath, "Okay then."

"You know the story," Lupin said. "That Snape became a follower of Voldemort's, but turned away, and became a spy for our side." Hermione nodded.

"Well," Lupin said, "one night, he told me a little more about it." He looked down. "It was one of those times when a whole lot of things came out. And he told me that, when he realized just what Voldemort was, and just how hopeless his own situation was, he decided to kill himself." He looked into her face. "He even told me how he was going to do it. He decided to Apparate into a mountain. Instant death, no one would be able to find him, no one would ever know. He would just disappear." Lupin paused. "He was around your age now, I think, when this happened."

Hermione said nothing, but her face looked stricken.

Lupin went on. "He said he was there, at the spot, when he realized he had to let someone know about Voldemort. He thought he'd go to Dumbledore, tell all, and then he'd, well, go on with it." He shrugged. "Of course, you know what happened after that. Dumbledore convinced him to help, to spy against Voldemort. So he didn't. Go through with it, I mean."

Hermione nodded. "Did Dumbledore know? What Professor Snape had planned to do?"

"I don't think Severus told him, but I'm sure Dumbledore knew, just the same."

They were both quiet, for just a moment. Then Lupin said, "Severus told me, that same night, that all he had keeping him alive was his purpose. He had this task to do, and no one else could do it. And it was only that purpose that kept him going through a life that was otherwise unbearable."

Hermione was quiet. Then she said, "But Voldemort is dead now. He doesn't have to pretend to be a Death Eater anymore."

Lupin nodded. "Yes." He hesitated. "And, I think . . ." He hesitated again, it sounded completely implausible, when he tried to say it baldly like this. "I think, he may be getting ready to go through with his original plans, now."

"And Apparate into a mountain?" Hermione asked, frowning.

"Yes."

Hermione was still frowning. "That's ridiculous."

"He's packing up, wrapping up his personal affairs."

"Well, he would be, wouldn't he, he's leaving Hogwarts."

"He's leaving all his potions stocks here, for the new professor."

"He's going to be traveling, it'd all be too much to carry around with him." She was still frowning.

"He's giving away all his books."

She went quiet. Hermione was probably just as much a book-lover as Snape. Or Lupin. "That's still not proof," she said. But she didn't sound so convinced as before.

"No, it isn't. And maybe I'm wrong. I hope that I am."

She looked at him, waiting.

"So, I thought, just in case he leaves Hogwarts suddenly, if I had a way to know, and to follow him, just to see that he's all right." He looked at Hermione. "And then, when you came by yesterday, I remembered--"

"The tracking spell I developed, when we wanted to keep an eye on Draco last year."

Lupin nodded. "I could get something official out of Moody to do it, but then I'd have to explain why, and I don't want anyone to know about this. And I don't have time to develop something on my own."

Hermione nodded. "I'll do it for you, that won't be a problem." She considered. "I could have it ready for you in a few days, if I can get the time to work on it - it won't take as long as last time, now that I've already done it." She looked down. "Harry and Ron will probably be playing Quiddich again tomorrow, so I should be able to get away." She looked a little melancholy, as she said that. It's a part of Harry's world where she doesn't really belong, Lupin thought, except as a spectator, and who could blame her for not wanting to be Harry's constant, adoring audience? But I bet Padma is there watching Ron, a sneaky voice in Lupin's head said.

Hermione shook her head a little, and stood up. "I'll get on it right away, Professor." She smiled, and left the room. Lupin watched her go, and then settled back down on the sofa. It was in Hermione's hands, for now. He had to concentrate on getting better.

-

-

-

It was three days before Lupin saw Hermione again. It was mid morning, and Snape had brought Lupin's potion, and the two were drinking tea, when Hermione appeared in the open doorway.

"Professor Lupin," she said, smiling. "I'm escaping, can you provide me with a refuge?"

"Of course," Lupin said, ignoring Snape's glare. "Quiddich again, this early?"

"They're completely obsessed," Hermione said, as she crossed the room, and pulled a side chair up next to them, setting a largish bag down at her feet.

"Well, he probably needs it, just now," Lupin said. "Want some tea?"

"Yes, please," Hermione said. "Don't bother, I'll get it myself." She stood up and helped herself at the side table. Lupin glanced over at Snape, who sat stiff in his chair, annoyance glinting in his eyes.

"I'm getting a bit worried," Hermione said as she sat back down in her chair. "Harry seems driven about it. I know Ron's just trying to get him out of himself, but I'm not sure this is much better."

"It won't last," Lupin said, sipping his tea. "He'll burn out on it."

"That's what I'm worried about," Hermione said. "Him burning out. And crashing."

Lupin considered. "That might not be such a bad thing. As long as there are people there to catch him. And to listen to him when he's ready to talk. It takes something like that, for some people." Lupin carefully did not look at Snape as he said that.

Snape stood up. "I'll be going now," he said, coldly. "I have other things to take care of."

"Oh, Professor," Hermione said, standing up also. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to chase you away--" She stumbled, and spilled her tea all over Snape's front; Lupin could see brown liquid dripping off his hand. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Professor!" Hermione said.

"Stupid girl!" Snape said, drawing up to his full height and glaring down at her, in a fury.

"Severus," Lupin said quickly, reaching for a napkin, and handing it to him.

Snape wiped the worst of it off, but was still glaring. "I'll see you later today," he said to Lupin, and stalked out of the room.

Lupin looked over at Hermione, who looked sheepish, but then she turned to him and grinned. "Sorry about that," she said, "but it was the quickest way I could think of to touch him with the potion."

She reached down into her bag, and pulled out something wrapped in a cloth. She unwrapped it, and held up a small, round, pocket mirror, about as big as the palm of her hand. "There, Professor, you'll be able to see him, wherever he is. And it will guide you to him, if you need to find him - you can even Apparate to him." She handed it to Lupin. "Brush your hand across it," she said, "and it will be keyed to you. I've added a spell so that it will alert you if Professor Snape ever leaves Hogwarts.

Lupin brushed his hand across the mirror, and then looked into it. He saw a tiny figure of Snape walking furiously down the corridor that led to his chambers. Too distant a view for him to see what Snape might be working at among his papers, he thought, with some disappointment. But he could feel, almost a warmth, a secure feeling - he could feel that Snape was close by. He watched as the figure reached the entrance to Snape's quarters, and opened the door. Lupin quickly put the mirror down. He felt a little guilty. I'll have to be careful how I use this, he thought. Snape would be absolutely furious if he discovered that someone was watching him.

Hermione handed him the cloth she'd wrapped the mirror in. "Here, you'll probably want to keep it in this."

Lupin took the cloth from her, and wrapped the mirror back up. "I'll keep it hidden." He placed it inside his robes, in an inner pocket. As he pulled his robes straight, he could still feel the mirror, even through all those layers of cloth, and again, felt that, yes, Snape was here, safe, still at Hogwarts.

He looked back at Hermione. "I don't know how to thank you."

She smiled and shook her head. "No thanks necessary, Professor." And then she looked serious. "You've got me worried, too. Please let me know, if there's anything more I can do to help."

He nodded. "Thanks, I will. But I'm counting on you to help Harry, you know."

She gave a little smile. "Right now, I think Ron's helping him more than I can." Her eyes looked wistful. Lupin was struck by her expression, and he realized, at that moment, she loves him. It wasn't even a surprise. Of course she loves him. Oh, poor Hermione, he thought, because Harry doesn't love you, does he? Not as anything more than a dear friend. Have you settled for that?

"Quiddich won't help him forever," Lupin said, gently. "And when Harry needs more, it won't be Ron he'll turn to. Ron won't be able to help him then."

She smiled again, but her eyes were still sad.

"If nothing else," Lupin said, "he's got to settle down in the fall, when you and he are back studying again. He'll need you then."

She smiled back at him. "I know, Professor." She stood up, and picked up her bag. "I'll be off, now. I said I was going to be looking some things up in the library today, so I'd better show up with something."

And he watched her go, swinging her bag up against her shoulder as she left the room. Poor Hermione, he thought again.

He wondered, did Harry want a girl who would watch him adoringly while he practiced Quiddich? Who would lean on his arm and look up at him with big eyes? Who would fuss over his injuries and tell him how brave he was? Hermione would never be that, not even to win him.

He poured himself another cup of tea, and breathed in the fragrance. At least Ron seems to have pulled a happy ending out of all this, he thought.

And he felt the mirror, wrapped up tightly in his pocket. And felt again, that, yes, Severus is here, and is safe. And took comfort in that.

-

TBC