The Wounded

The Wounded

Chapter 2

Lupin turned to inspect his appearance in the bedroom mirror, which was gilt framed, and taller than he was. And therefore, like everything else in the Hogwarts guest rooms, much finer than anything he'd been accustomed to in quite a while. Not since he'd taught here four years ago.

He leaned on his cane, stood up straight, and looked himself over. His hair was still wet from his morning shower. His robes hung neatly, but were on the shabby side, much too shabby for these rooms, with their velvet hangings and old wood.

And his face - he'd been shocked when he'd first seen it, yesterday, his first day out of the hospital wing. Lined and worn, the face of a man twice his age. And people said he was looking better. He must have looked a hundred years old in the hospital.

He turned away from the mirror, and glanced around the bedroom. He'd moved in yesterday, as he was able to walk reasonably well now and could take care of himself, although he wouldn't be doing strenuous exercise anytime soon.

There hadn't been much to move. He was pleased to find most of his (granted, small supply of) clothes and personal articles already here - the House Elves must have gone to his home and packed for him. Even many of his books were here. But his things didn't begin to fill these rooms.

He walked out into the sitting room, across to the window, and pulled open the heavy, green velvet curtains. Outside, the early morning sun shone down onto the emerald lawn. A couple of the summer boarding students were walking toward the building, they'd probably had an early walk before going to breakfast in the Great Hall. He turned away from the window.

And nearly jumped a foot into the air (if he'd been able to jump, in his current condition) when he saw Dobby the House Elf standing behind him.

"Dobby!" he said, heart pounding. "I didn't know you were there."

Dobby looked up at him, wearing a very severe expression. Which didn't fit with the bizarre mish-mash of clothes he wore, ending with two of the most garish, and completely mismatched, socks Lupin had ever seen.

"Harry Potter is being very concerned about Professor Lupin's state," Dobby said, eyes almost accusing. But there was something else there, a twinkle perhaps?

"I know," Lupin said, "and he has so much else to be concerned about right now, doesn't he."

"Oh, Harry Potter is truly wonderful." Dobby's eyes grew wide and rapturous. "He is being such a great hero, he is slaying the terrible He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and yet he is worrying so much about his friends."

"I know," Lupin said.

"Professor Lupin needs to be getting well, so Harry Potter won't be worrying about him anymore." Dobby still looked very seriously at him, but the corner of his mouth twitched a little. "Perhaps Professor Lupin is not walking all the way to the Great Hall for breakfast, perhaps he is staying here, and Dobby is bringing breakfast to him. And Harry Potter is joining him here, and seeing that Professor Lupin is taking care of himself." Was that a wink Lupin saw?

Lupin smiled. "I think that is an excellent idea, Dobby. It would be a very good thing, for me, to see Harry this morning. Very good for my health."

"Then Dobby is seeing Harry Potter now, to be letting him know," Dobby said, and he vanished, silently, before Lupin could thank him.

Lupin smiled, and shook his head. That was actually subtle, for Dobby. He walked over to the hallway door and opened it, so Harry wouldn't have to knock to come in.

And then, suddenly, felt enormously tired - just that little bit of standing, and I'm worn out. He sat down in one of the big, overstuffed chairs by the fireplace, and made himself be still. He looked out the window, breathing slowly and evenly.

And it wasn't too long before he heard footsteps in the hall outside, fast at first, then slowing as they approached his door. And there was Harry, framed in the doorway. For a moment, Lupin was thrown back four years, the last time he'd been living at Hogwarts in a room like this, and Harry had been thirteen, small, quiet, with a shy smile. He blinked, and saw the young man Harry was now, nearly eighteen. Taller than Lupin, he'd finally come into James's height. But he was not James, no matter how much alike they looked at first. Lupin sometimes wondered how he could ever have mistaken Harry for James. If only Sirius had been able to see that, he thought sadly, still feeling an ache in his heart whenever he thought of his old friend. But then, Sirius had needed James so much.

Lupin smiled at Harry, still standing in the doorway. "Come in, Harry," he said, nodding to the chair opposite his in front of the fireplace. Harry smiled, and came inside, flopping down in the chair. He still moved with a trace of adolescent awkwardness, as if he weren't quite used to his arms and legs. Slender, but not skinny. His school uniform had been exchanged for jeans, although he still wore the outer black wizard robes, which draped over the arms of the chair.

"Thank you for joining me, Harry," Lupin said.

"My pleasure," Harry said. "Believe me. The Great Hall is really empty now, especially in the mornings. It's even worse than over Christmas. Even the teachers aren't there, mostly. Dobby says they have breakfast in their rooms a lot, over the summer."

"Well, you're very welcome to come here any time you like, for breakfast," Lupin said. "Are there many other students?"

"A few. Mostly Slytherins." Lupin watched carefully for any sign of distaste at that word, but heard none. Harry went on, "They're fine, the older ones were all part of Dumbledore's Army. It's just . . ."

"It's just that to them, you're the Great Harry Potter, General of the D.A., and slayer of Voldemort," Lupin said.

Harry winced. "Something like that." He looked at Lupin. "It's so weird. It's not like anything I did was that special. I just happened to be in the right place, and got lucky."

"And you did the right things," Lupin said.

"Hermione did so much more. She figured out everything," Harry said, looking into the empty fireplace grate. "But no one's interested in her at all. Or Ron, or Neville, or Luna, or any of the others." He looked up at Lupin. "Or you, either. Or anyone else in the Order of the Phoenix."

Lupin smiled. "For which I am eminently grateful." He tilted his head. "Well, at least no reporters can get at you here, at Hogwarts. Not even that Skeeter woman."

Harry shrugged. "She'll just make something up. I haven't even read the Daily Prophet since it all happened. Hermione has. She says they haven't messed it up too much."

"You don't want to read their accounts of the final battle?" Lupin smiled.

Harry shrugged again. "I was there, I know what happened. And Hermione and Ron told me everything that went on after I passed out." He fell quiet, back to staring at the empty grate. Lupin wondered, What did happen, Harry? What did you see?

"Breakfast is here, Harry Potter, Professor Lupin." Lupin jumped in his chair as Dobby's voice sounded behind them. They turned, to see him standing by their chairs. Dobby snapped his fingers, and a table appeared between them. He snapped them again, and the table was laid for two, with numerous covered dishes in the middle. He nodded his head, and vanished.

Harry turned to the table, and began to help himself. Well, we have the whole summer to talk, Lupin thought. No need to get into the darkness just yet. It'll happen, later on.

"So, what are your plans for the day?" Lupin said, as he started filling his plate. He was suddenly ravenous. A good sign, he guessed.

Harry swallowed his mouthful. "Ron and Hermione are going to meet me in Hogsmeade today. We'll wander around there, maybe go around the grounds. We've practically got the whole place to ourselves." He smiled. "We've got the whole Quiddich field, if we want."

"Sounds like a good plan," Lupin said. "How's Ron doing?" Ron had been hit, like Lupin, on that last day. He wasn't so long in hospital, but, like Lupin, was going to be a long time recuperating before he was fully well. Dark Magic could leave long, lingering damage.

"He's limping, still," Harry said. "He tries to play it down, says it's not bad, but I think it hurts him a lot more than he lets on." He grinned. "Unless Padma's around. Then he plays it up - you know--" Harry struck a pose. "'Oh, don't mind about me, I can bear it.'"

Lupin smiled. "I hope it's working for him."

"Oh yes," Harry said. "She fusses over him, tells him how brave he was. Pretty funny, considering she probably thought she'd never speak to him again, after he totally ignored her at the Yule Ball in fourth year."

"Well, he's not ignoring her now, is he?" Lupin settled back in his chair with a cup of tea. "And Hermione?"

"You know Hermione, she's already looking forward to fall, and everything she thinks she'll be studying." Harry shrugged.

"You'll have to keep her from working too hard. It could be your last summer free for a long time. Enjoy it." Lupin sipped at his tea.

Harry grinned. "Keeping Hermione away from the books may be more than even I can manage," he said before he popped a huge forkful of eggs into his mouth.

Lupin opened his mouth to answer, when he heard soft footsteps in the hall, and looked up to see Snape, stopping in the doorway.

"Severus," Lupin said, smiling, but inwardly wary - not the two of them, Harry and Snape, not yet.

"I had wondered," Snape said. "You weren't in the Great Hall this morning." His face had his usual, unreadable expression. Maybe a little colder, eyes harder. He sees Harry, Lupin thought.

"I decided to dine in," Lupin said, "and Harry was kind enough to join me. Would you like some tea? I think I can find another cup."

"No, thank you," Snape said. "I was just checking. I'll be by later, with your morning potion."

"Thank you, Severus, I'll be waiting." Lupin watched Snape walk away, the last swirl of his robes vanishing behind the door frame.

Lupin turned to Harry. Harry's mouth was set, and he was looking at the grate.

"How can you like him?" Harry said. "You didn't used to."

"I used to think he was a follower of Voldemort," Lupin said. "I was wrong. About him. About a lot of things." He smiled. "And I've gotten to know him better."

Harry did not look at him. "My father hated him. Sirius hated him."

"So I should continue? Because of a stupid, school feud?" Lupin said.

"He hates me," Harry said.

"Maybe we can do something about that, this summer."

Harry didn't answer.

Lupin sighed. "Let's not fight about it, Harry, please? It's too early, and I'm really not up to it, right now." Play up the invalid. If it works for Ron, maybe it will work for me. "I'll envy you, if you go out to the Quiddich field today. Should be a gorgeous day for it." He nodded at the window, at the green lawns, and deep blue sky.

Harry was quiet for a moment longer, then he shrugged, and turned back to Lupin. "Ron says he'll wipe the field with me, even with his bad leg." He smiled. "He probably will, it's been ages since I was on the team, and he's been on it every year since he got on in fifth year."

Lupin kept them on Quiddich until Harry had to leave to keep his appointment with Ron and Hermione.

-

-

-

Snape came by later, with a lidded mug of the latest healing potion they were giving him. Lupin had dozed off in one of the big chairs, but he blinked awake as Severus knocked gently on the door frame.

"How's it going to taste?" Lupin asked as he took the mug, flipped open the lid, and looked dubiously down at the liquid inside.

"Better than Wolfsbane Potion," Snape said.

"Ha, ha," Lupin said. He sighed, took a deep breath, and swallowed. It wasn't too bad, overall, but he was noticing the taste of these things more and more now, as he was getting better.

"How clever of me to have tea ready," Lupin said, as he put the mug down, and turned to a side table, which held a teapot, cups, saucers and other tea paraphernalia. "Want a cup?"

Snape nodded. "Here, I'll get it for you." He fixed two cups, and handed one to Lupin before sitting down with the other.

"How do you feel?" Snape asked.

"Tired," Lupin said. "Delighted to be out of that hospital bed, though." He sipped at his tea. "I look out the window, and I want to run across the lawn, and around the lake." He smiled wryly. "But I'll be satisfied with walking to the Great Hall for lunch and dinner today."

"I'll come by here when it's time," Snape said.

"Thank you. I'd appreciate that." Lupin smiled. "Not that I expect to faint. But this will be the most I've moved around in weeks."

They sipped, and there was a moment of comfortable silence. Then Lupin asked, "So, other than waiting on me, what are you doing today?"

Snape stretched back in the chair. "There's one child still in hospital from a bad curse, I'm doing regular potions for her." And, seeing Lupin's concerned look, he added, "The curse was from a miscast spell - stupidity, not a battle wound. And she'll be up and running around long before you will."

"Other than that," Snape said, "just finishing up everything from last term." He took a sip of tea. "An amazing amount of paperwork always manages to accumulate."

Lupin nodded. "I remember."

"Not to mention my general packing up," Snape said, his voice suddenly careful.

Lupin nodded, but inside, he felt wary.

Snape hesitated, and then said, "I'll be leaving all my potions stores with my successor."

Lupin looked into Snape's face. "That's quite a large stock you're giving up, if I remember correctly."

"Too much to carry with me. Much of it is perishable. And I certainly don't plan on using any of it when I go," Snape said. "Not for a long while, anyway. Better it all goes to someone who will use it."

"And you can always re-stock when you settle yourself again," Lupin said.

"Of course." Snape did not meet Lupin's eyes, he was looking away.

He's telling me this now, Lupin thought, because it's something I'd find out, and would ask him about. So he's telling me on his own terms, giving me an explanation. But the real reason is that that's quite a treasure trove you've accumulated, and you can't bear to see it go to waste.

"What will you do with the rest of your things?" Lupin said. "Put them in storage?" What else does he have that he couldn't bear to see lost or destroyed? "All your books, they'll be a bit much to travel with."

Snape frowned. "I plan to give a number of them to the Hogwarts library."

"Your books?" Lupin asked. He's giving away his books! He didn't want to tell me that, but he can't lie, now that I've asked, because I'd find out the truth.

"I can always go to the library, if I want to read them again," Snape said. "Also, there are some . . . family journals I plan on donating to the Aurors. They would be extremely . . . educational. And I certainly don't plan on reading them again. Ever."

From the stories I've heard of the Snape family, those journals would definitely be enlightening. Lupin was ashamed of himself when he also thought, I bet I could get Moody to let me see them, once the Aurors have them. Probably clear up police cases going back centuries, if they live up to rumor. And another thought - he's diverted the conversation away from the books he's giving to the library.

"I have some other books that you might be interested in," Snape said, "if you wouldn't mind keeping them for me."

"Of course," Lupin said, keeping his voice calm. "I'll be happy to give them a home, until you come back for them." He tried to look directly into Snape's face, but Snape was turned away.

They finished their tea, and Snape left, promising to come back when it was time to go to lunch.

Lupin leaned back in the chair, almost dizzy. He's giving away his books! What else is he taking care of, in all that paperwork he's doing? I bet it's more than school grades and letters to parents.

He tried to think of a way to get into Snape's desk - could he get past his wards? Not in the shape he was in now, and Snape would have damn good wards, he knew that. It would take a clear head, and time, to unravel them, and right now, he had neither. The floo network? His home fireplace should still be attached to Snape's, but no, only Snape could travel back to Hogwarts through it, the way the floo network security spells were set. Get Dobby to look for him? No, Dobby may be well meaning, and was not stupid, but this called for real subtlety. If Snape ever found out he was being spied on, who knows what he would do.

Lupin was still considering the problem when Snape returned for him. Lunch time already? He looked at the clock, and it was, indeed, time. Snape brought him his cane, he stood up, and together, they walked to the Great Hall, Snape staying close, but not too close, beside him. I suppose I can count on you staying, for as long as I need your potions skills. I'm still part of your To Do list, something that has to be taken care of before you can go.

But how much longer is that?

-

-

-

He tried to think, after lunch, once he was back in his rooms. But he kept drifting off, in his chair. He fought against it for an hour, but finally gave in, and stretched out on the sofa. At least I'm not in bed, he told himself. He barely gained consciousness when Snape brought his afternoon potion. Snape supported his shoulders and held the mug to his lips while he swallowed. Lupin mumbled a brief thanks, and was asleep again before Snape had left the room.

It was near dinner time when he woke. He felt much better. Stand up, he thought. I need to clear my head, get my legs moving, it'll help me think.

Then he heard voices, out in the hallway. Distant, but coming this way. As they approached, he could make out Harry and Ron, crowing to each other. Harry sounded much happier than he had this morning. Good for Ron, he won't let Harry stay down. Then Lupin heard Hermione's voice - he couldn't make out her words, but the tone was pure Hermione, the cautioning, you-shouldn't-have-done-that tone. Harry must have pushed the edge today, probably while horsing around with Ron on the Quiddich field, enough to give Hermione a scare. If it were James, Lupin would be concerned, James and Sirius had both gone way beyond the boundaries of good sense. But Harry knew his limits, and Lupin had never seen him do anything stupid.

The merry band burst through his doorway - Harry first, Ron behind him, the tallest in the room now, still on the gangly side, and on his arm, Padma Patil - the pretty girl Lupin remembered had grown into a beautiful young woman, a quieter version of her more outgoing Gryffindor sister. Hermione followed last, looking annoyed, but not too annoyed.

And seeing her, Lupin suddenly knew what he had to do. Not now, though, not with Harry and the others there. Later, he'd arrange to get with her. He'd have to wait. But he suddenly felt a sense of relief. I can take action.

"Hullo, Professor," Ron said, grinning from ear to ear, as he took one of Lupin's arms. "We're here to kidnap you." Harry took the other. "That's right, you're sitting with us tonight. No high table for you." They both looked completely giddy, as if they'd been laughing all afternoon.

"Harry, Ron," Hermione said, "don't be so rough, he's only just out of the hospital."

"It's all right, Hermione," Lupin said, grinning. "I'm not quite that fragile."

"There, you see, Hermione," Ron said. "Honestly, she's been like that all day."

Hermione frowned. Poor Hermione, thought Lupin, forced to be the sensible one, because no one else will take the role. I do sympathize.

Padma found Lupin's cane, and handed it to him, smiling shyly. "Here, Professor." He smiled his thanks and took it from her. Not that he could use it, with Ron and Harry holding him by each arm. And supporting him - for all the show of horseplay, they were each being quite careful, he noted, taking a lot of his weight.

They steered him out the door to the hallway. The whole gaggle of them began to head in the direction of the Great Hall, when Lupin noticed something out of the corner of his eye, and turned to look behind them.

There, at the far end of the hallway, stood Snape. He came to get me. Lupin froze for a moment, not knowing what to do. But Snape gave a nod, as if to say, it's all right, and then disappeared around the corner.

Lupin turned back. Ron and Harry hadn't noticed, they were still pulling him forwards. But Hermione had an odd look on her face, had she seen Snape there?

I'll talk to him later tonight, Lupin promised himself, after dinner. And he let himself be guided by his jolly companions down the hallway, and on to the Great Hall.

He sat at the Gryffindor table for the first time since he was a student himself. They all told him about the day they'd had. A lot of the shops in Hogsmeade were selling things cheaper, now that the students were mostly gone, and they'd all made purchases that had to be described.

Several students from the other tables moved over to join them. Many were familiar faces to Lupin. As Harry had said, most were Slytherins. How many were here over the summer because their parents were dead or in Azkaban? All of the older students, even the Slytherins, seemed happy to see Lupin there - of course, the only reason the Slytherins hadn't liked him before was out of loyalty to Snape.

It seemed a number of other students had joined Ron and Harry in the Quiddich field that afternoon. For many of them, it was the first time they had ever been anything more than spectators there, and Ron and Harry had each captained a team. So, of course, the entire game had to be re-fought, here at the table, a game where rules had been stretched quite a bit, and the final victor was still a hot subject of debate between the two teams.

There had been one moment, looking at Harry's face, eyes sparkling behind his glasses as he described a daring swoop he'd made, when Lupin was suddenly thrown back twenty years, and he found himself looking for Sirius and Peter, and felt a chill when he remembered. But it was only a moment, and he was soon laughing with the rest of them watching Ron re-enact a score he'd made by accident that day.

And then he felt himself being watched, and knew, before he'd even turned to look, that it was Snape, watching him from the High Table. Lupin smiled back at him. Snape nodded, then looked away. Do you still wish you could be here with us, that you could fit in here? The way I know you did when we were boys? I wish I could make that happen, now, but I know it never will. You'll never belong down here again, you never really did. I shouldn't even be down here, not really. It's just because it's summer. The rules don't apply in the summer. And, once again, Lupin thought, I'll go see him tonight, thank him for coming by for me.

That thought made him remember, and he turned to Hermione, who was next to him. The others were still watching Ron. He said, quietly, "I need to talk to you about something, but the others can't be with you. Can you get away, sometime, and come see me?"

She gave him a thoughtful look, with her shrewd eyes. "Tomorrow afternoon, will that do? Ron and Harry are going to play Quiddich again, and I've done my duty watching from the sidelines today. I'll beg off, say I'm going to the library."

Lupin nodded. "Tomorrow afternoon will be fine. Snape comes by with a potion mid-afternoon, but we can talk before or after. I doubt he'll stay if he sees you there." Although I wish he would. Hermione should be more approachable for Snape than most of the other students, and they had a lot in common. He found himself studying her, out of the corner of his eye. An attractive girl, rather than the beauty Padma was, she could look plain or pretty, depending on the expression on her face. I suspect the intelligence and drive in your eyes frightens off too many people, Hermione, particularly young men your age.

They were all still talking when they got up from the table. And they talked all the way back to Lupin's rooms, their voices echoing off the stone walls. Several of the students who'd joined them at dinner went with them. And when they reached his rooms, they still weren't finished, and they all found places to sit, all over the room - chairs, sofa, floor. Harry was on the floor by Lupin, who'd taken one of the chairs, and who sat quietly, mostly just listening by now.

They might have been there all night, but when Ron suggested running out to the kitchens to bring back butterbeer, Hermione, who'd been hinting for the previous half hour, stood up, and pointed out that Lupin was still recovering and needed his rest. Padma quietly seconded her, and the two of them managed to usher Harry, Ron, and the other students out of the room - and probably on up to Gryffindor Tower, where Harry was still sleeping in his old dormitory room. Harry called out that he'd be over for breakfast in the morning, if Lupin was awake - Dobby would check - and the noisy group went off down the hallway, their voices gradually growing softer, until Lupin couldn't hear them anymore.

Lupin looked around the now very empty, very quiet room. And felt absolutely exhausted. I should go see Severus now, he thought. It's not that late. But I'm too tired to move. I'll see him in the morning. Not for breakfast, Harry's coming for breakfast. But afterwards, when he brings my potion by, I'll see him then.

And, repeating that promise to himself, he undressed, and slid into the big, soft, four poster bed, and fell almost instantly asleep.

-

TBC