For Every Action...

Sirius and Remus, in an attempt to put inevitable events out of their minds, spent the evening with Harry. Unfortunately, their time with Harry, a baby version of James, was not as comforting as it could have been. Harry basked in their attention, but he was crankier than Sirius remembered. His cries were petulant; contrived laughter echoed infrequently through the hospital wing. Its awkwardness was off-putting for Harry, and he grew disinterested in play. Sirius and Remus longed for the time when they could cast aside their cement smiles for dull eyes and frowns.

Madam Pomfrey brought a bottle for Harry, and while Sirius fed him, a concerned look played across her features.

"You know, I could help you learn to care for him. Just simple child care, in case you were interested." Sirius put up his guard, scorning himself at the same time for his wariness. Reading the look on his face, she tried not to take offense. "Don't worry about deciding now, dear; I can wait until the morning if you'd like. Although, tomorrow...." She trailed off to avert the direction in which the conversation was heading. Harry had drained his bottle by then, so Madam Pomfrey beckoned for Sirius to follow her back to the nursery. Remus shifted, debated whether or not to go with Sirius, and hastily followed.

When he arrived, Harry was already on his back, gazing up at Sirius.

"Good night, Harry. I'll be seeing you in the morning." He tried to flatten Harry's fringe, but they were still perpendicular to his forehead. "Ah, well, I'll bet that never goes away." His black hair barely obscured the lightning bolt-shaped cut. Harry's breaths became deeper, but he struggled to stay awake. "It's all right, go to sleep. We'll have plenty of time together later." Sirius glanced around before leaning into the crib. "I-I love you, Harry. Goodnight." Sirius moved to the side to give Remus room.

"We'll see you tomorrow. Pleasant dreams." Checking that Harry was indeed asleep, Madam Pomfrey nodded and retired to a chair in the corner. "He's a nice baby," Remus said mildly as they stepped from the nursery. "He doesn't deserve this fate. Oh, I'm not trying to offend you, Sirius, stop that, I'm talking about Lily and James."

Sirius turned away from Remus and went over to the window he'd visited the night before. Remus joined him, but wondered if this would lead to more voiding silence like it had before. As much as he knew that they had to finish their conversation, he was too tired. The moon had taken its toll as usual, and he was drained of all his remaining energy. Stealing a glance at Sirius, he felt such an immense pain that is threatened to consume him. Not only did he look physically exhausted, but like he could never again feel emotions like love or joy. This was his last hope, his last friend. Remus didn't even feel comfortable telling him it would be okay, for he doubted the truth in those words. His gaze remained longer on Sirius, and he studied the physical changes of the past day. Sirius's fingers had grated across his scalp, causing tracks of hair to stick straight up. His blue eyes lacked their usual pale fire. For once they were just blue, a simple, unremarkable blue that tried desperately to mask his conflict. There would be no further discussion tonight.

Remus wouldn't let Madam Pomfrey near enough to mend the scratches on his hands. A fingernail was completely torn off, a mottled purple and black nail bed in its place. All Remus wanted was to be able to comfort Sirius, but he could barely console himself. Their friendship was a constantly evolving form. In the years leading up to the near-fatal prank against Snape, Remus was almost as close to Sirius as James and Sirius were for ages. So much had changed that night, and in the following years they had grappled with regaining what had been lost that May night. Now it seemed it was just easier to ignore it all, rather than reexamine motives or face the truth.

The sun was descending towards the horizon, which meant the moon would soon return. Remus would have to go back to sleep then. Even though the waning full moon wouldn't make him transform, he was weak enough to succumb to bouts of uncontrolled emotion. Sirius wasn't watching the moon, or the first star, the brightest star. His eyes were fixed on the sinking sun as it cast the last beams of the day over Hogwarts. Remus had to go.

"Goodnight, Sirius." The other man jumped and focused on Remus.

"Oh, sorry. Good night." Remus went to his bed to lie flat on his back. He didn't know when he finally fell asleep, or what time it was when Madam Pomfrey discovered Sirius at the window and ordered him to bed. Neither man had pleasant dreams.

*****

The next morning dawned a brilliant blue, dotted with tufts of cotton clouds. The sky seemed to be mocking them; such a day should have appropriately gloomy weather. By the time he emerged from his bed, Remus was seated with a glass of pumpkin juice and the morning's Daily Prophet. Sirius grumbled what was possibly a "good bloody morning," but Remus was not quite sure. He had risen early after little sleep and was already wearing simple black robes. Sirius wore a pair of Black Watch plaid pajama pants that were ridiculously short on him. His legs poking from a pair of too-short pajamas would have earned a smart comment from Remus over a month ago, but he forced a smile and sipped his juice. Neither spoke. The understanding silence was beginning to be comfortable, and that bothered Remus.

Most of the plates of eggs and bowls of porridge, provided by the house-elves, went untouched. Sirius nibbled on a strip of bacon, but ingested very little. He picked lint from his pajama pants. Neither companion knew a way to pass the morning. Lily and James's memorial ceremony was at four in the afternoon, eight hours away.

As per wizarding tradition, Lily and James would be cremated. Fire was significant to their world and, like the phoenix, it was hoped that they would one day rise from their ashes.

"I'm going to go see Harry," Sirius said.

Remus looked up and gave a slight nod.

"Er, you could come, too, if you wanted to." Sirius cracked his knuckles nervously.

"Oh, right, I might join you in a bit. Why don't I leave you two alone for now?" Remus returned to his paper and picked up halfway through a front-page article. For a few moments, Sirius waited before turning and leaving Remus's sight. The Daily Prophet's front-page picture twisted his stomach, and yet he couldn't tear his eyes away. The photograph was as close as Remus would ever be to that night's events. A skeleton of what had once been a beautiful home smoldered, the smoke visibly rising from the ground. Ministry wizards stood along the property's outskirts, wands drawn and ready. The headline read:

"Ministry Still Searches For You-Know-Who; Potters Remembered"

"If I see anyone there who isn't supposed to be, didn't love Lily and James, I swear I'll just-" he broke off as his shaking hands tore an edge of the paper. He smoothed the mussed parchment and continued with the article.

"Although Ministry wizards are combing the British Isles, they have yet to find He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, who vanished on Halloween. His location is still unknown, but Ministry workers continue to work tirelessly in the quest for answers. Shoppers in Diagon Alley shared their opinions on this topic: "He's gone! Who cares where the hell He went as long as He's not here?" This quote from Gladius Glibney illustrates many wizards' thoughts. Diagon Alley was busier than ever, and profits at the Leaky Cauldron have reportedly increased threefold. The article continued, but Remus turned the page. He could not bear to read about his friends' deaths having a positive effect on a pub's business. The next page bore a full-page editorial.

"One can never complain when it comes to the topic of increased business in our stores, especially when the reason is the fall of a terrifying power, but is our approach unwise? Is this celebration premature, or should the wizarding world rejoice at the end of years of terror? What was once regarded as Halloween could soon become Harry Potter Day, but where is the Boy Who Lived? It seems that he is in the care of Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, but Harry Potter's exact whereabouts are unknown. However, this reporter has it on good information that Sirius Black, friend to Lily and James Potter parents, was taken by Ministry officials for questioning under Veritaserum."

Remus scoffed and threw the paper down on the table. "Can't even let us mourn in peace, what's the use? Well, Remus, don't read the paper, then. That's a solution."

"Talking to ourselves?"

"Sirius! You startled me."

Sirius ignored the last statement and glanced at the article, Harry cradled in his arms.

"Don't read that. You know it's just the Ministry's mouthpiece, independent publication my arse."

"They're not being very careful now, are they? I read people've been spotted in robes and such in the middle of Muggle streets! Just when you think we've escaped the terror, we'll have ourselves some witch hunts."

"You've become quite the cynic." Sirius's tone was mild, but he was worried for his friend.

"Hmm. After years of second-guessing the motives of strangers, we fall to those we trust. I don't know what to make of this." Harry squirmed in Sirius's arms. "I think he wants to get down."

Sirius set Harry on the floor, and Harry proceeded to toddle over to Remus and tug at Remus's robes.

"Pay?" Harry marched in place anxiously.

"Sure, Harry. Can Sirius join us?" Remus gave his first smile of the day. Harry giggled.

"Paff pay." While Harry knew Sirius as Padfoot, his parents had thought it too risky to have Remus referred to as Moony. Instead, Harry called him Re-ma, which was very slowly developing an 's' on the end. "Pay Quid."

"All right, Harry, you make the rules." Remus laughed and followed after the boy. "Paff, you have to come, too." He inwardly praised Harry for providing a distraction, anything to keep them from engaging in serious discussion.

Sirius and Remus followed Harry, who moved quickly for having such short legs, to the nursery. Upon entering the room, they found a short rug mimicking a Quidditch pitch and seven cloth players. Had their robes been Gryffindor red, it would have been an exact replica of the set Harry had received on his birthday.

"So, Harry, how exactly do we play 'Quid'?" Sirius asked the question with a smile, one that radiated to his tired eyes.

Responding to the inquiry, Harry promptly picked up on of the players and swung it through the air, making sputtering noises the whole time.

"Well, that's an interesting sound. I don't recall ever making that noise while I played Quidditch, although you never know with some of us, we're all mad."

Remus snorted and picked up his own figure. "I'm glad you've come to that realization, Sirius. Please refrain from passing your special trait on to Harry. He's impressionable."

Sirius tossed a figure at Remus, hitting him square between the eyes. Remus almost retaliated, but lowered his arm. Harry looked very serious and did what reminded Sirius of a mini-McGonagall impression.

"No. Pay."

"All right Harry, I'm sorry. Don't you think Sirius should apologize as well?"

The boy looked slightly confused.

"Sorry, Young Master Harry. I didn't mean to disturb this match you've got here."

"Quid."

"Right, Harry, but can you say Quidditch? Quid-ditch. Can you say that?"

"Remus, he doesn't need a teacher right now. I think Quid is perfectly acceptable."

"Yes, well, all that taken into account, when did you begin to speak actual words, hmm?"

"You're just lucky Harry's here. He's very serious about the game, see? Brilliant strategist, he is, wow, that was quite the sharp drop. I'm sure that Beater's lost his lunch. Speaking of food, I'm starving. Harry, are you ready to eat?"

Harry whimpered and started to fuss.

"Exactly. Let's go find Madam Pomfrey." Sirius scooped Harry up and carried him on his shoulders.

Luckily, she was just entering the nursery and they were departing.

"Hullo, Madam, we were just looking for you. Is there any way Sirius, Harry, and I could get lunch?"

"Oh, of course! Right. Just a snack and then food for the boy? That should do it; take a seat, the kitchen will have it ready in a minute." She summoned two chairs, a high chair, and a table before hurrying off to the fireplace. Her pale robes fluttered behind her and Sirius watched her depart.

"Hasn't changed, has she?"

"Not in the slightest. Possibly less stressed, now that she's had a few years off from us." Remus absentmindedly ruffled Harry's hair.

"Here it is! Sirius, I'm going to show you how to feed Harry, is that okay?" She set down a tray of corned beef and ham sandwiches. "I'm sure you've been around him enough times to know, but just for the long run, basic idea of how to avoid choking and the like." Sirius nodded. "All right, then. Here we are- applesauce, sweet potatoes, biscuits. He has enough teeth to chew, but sometimes they get a little flustered or excited and forget, so you have to watch him. He really shouldn't be taking a bottle so much, but after...everything, he's having problems sleeping, poor dear. And the semi-solids, they're easy enough to figure out. You're a smart boy, although raising a child, that's just learning as you go along. Here, you try." She handed the spoon over to Sirius.

"Thank goodness this isn't green beans. He didn't seem to like them, and it was the first time I ever got to feed him. Splattered all over the place. Had to borrow a shirt from James." His small smile was bittersweet. Remus placed his partially eaten sandwich on his plate, mirroring Sirius's expression.

"It's all right. We can smile, Sirius. He wouldn't want us to frown at his memory."

"So I just keep feeding him until he won't eat anymore?" Sirius had turned back to Harry and Madam Pomfrey, leaving Remus alone with his food. Surely Sirius understood Remus's sentiment, but didn't want to hear a lecture about mourning. He would deal with that in his own time.

"Here's some apple juice for him, pumpkin for the two of you. Do you need anything else? No, then enjoy your lunch. He'll probably need a nap after this. You know where to go. I'll be in the greenhouses if you need me."

Sirius thanked her as she shook Harry's pudgy hand.

Remus chewed pensively on his sandwich. "Hmm."

"Hmm what?"

"Does there have to be a what?"

"No, but it just seems odd to say something if there wasn't a point to it."

"Hmm."

"What. Would you stop that?"

"Yes, I'll stop this. You just- bugger, what am I saying? We should be supporting each other, but the way you're dealing with this...I don't know, we're being so stupid about it. Should be supporting each other, and we're not. It's just you and me now. Can't exactly bear to lose another friend, Sirius, okay?"

"Well then don't alienate me. You always do that, you shut yourself off from everyone, act all aloof, like this doesn't affect you. It does, I know it does! Knock it off, Remus, I'm not going to attack you, you prat."

Harry banged his fists against the tray of his highchair.

"Yes, I am being neglectful. See what you have to look forward to?"

"Mo'!"

Sirius promptly delivered more applesauce. A few minutes passed, and Harry pushed the spoon away. Sirius gave Harry his juice and started on his own food. Harry was calmer than before, but didn't look like a nap was impending.

"All right, Harry, let's play some Quid-ditch. Tire you out, it had better." Sirius carried him to the nursery. Harry chewed on the Keeper and tried to fight off sleep. He was losing the battle, and slid onto his side. He yawned, exposing several tiny white teeth. Sirius mimicked him.

"Those things really are contagious." He lay down alongside his godson and joined him in his nap. A few minutes later, Remus arrived and saw that Quidditch had indeed brought about the toddler's sleep, as well as Sirius's. He took a seat and slowly came to rest his head on his shoulder. They slept uninterrupted for a few hours before Dumbledore entered the room, waking them for the memorial.