In the Shadows

Chapter 5

The Kraken Sleepeth

Severus' scowl deepened as Hermione stood before him in silence with the same look on her face. He watched as several emotions seemed to run through her and manifest in her changing facial expressions. Severus felt a burning anger well up in him as she stood gaping at him.

Hermione now understood why no one had seen Severus that day--how did he come to look twenty something again? She knew something must have happened the previous night with Voldemort and now she was battling with herself on whether to ask him about it or just to pretend she didn't notice. She never reached a full decision before Severus abruptly stood from his seat and grabbed her by her arms shaking her slightly as she fell back against the table. His face--mere inches from hers as he hissed to her.

"Miss Granger. Might I ask why you feel it is necessary to gawk at me? Show a diminutive of that insufferable intelligence you so proudly flaunt."

Hermione didn't say anything. With her head turned to the side and her eyes cast down looking at the floor she inhaled deeply to calm herself and closed her eyes as she felt his grip tighten on her.

"Miss Granger..."

She looked up from the floor. Severus expected to see anger swimming in her eyes, but that was not what he saw. Hermione looked up at him with tear filled eyes. He could feel her eyes burning into his own as if she were searching for his soul. Her voice was a soft whisper.

"Please, Professor. You hurt me once. Please don't do it again."

Severus froze...trapped in her gaze...the images of the past flooded him...

~*~*~

"Go."

His mother's voice was anxious and worrisome. Slowly, Severus backed away into the shadows of the ever dark room. He blended well in the dark corners--something he learned at a very early age. He watched as his mother's anxiety became overridden with fear. Severus felt the chill run down his spine as his father approached his mother with such fierce dominance that his very presence evoked fear in them both. His voice was loud, reverberating off the walls filling Severus with the fear he could see on his mother's face. Her face turned to the side, her eyes cast down, and she cowered before the man. He felt an anger raising from deep within...an anger that had been building all his life--thirteen years of anger festering...

Severus watched as his father drew his open hand back.

That's when she ran into him.

The girl was young, about ten years old. Her mother worked as the barmaid without pay--a gift to his father. A muggle woman. The young girl worked around the house and helped her mother out on occasion. The young girl received her Hogwarts letter that summer--she was a mudblood.

She couldn't see Severus in the darkened shadows of the room and on impact she fell back. Severus turned feeling the welling anger beginning to spill out on to the fire. He spun around...anger blazing in his eyes...hand raised to strike...then he saw her. The fear in her eyes was palpable. In her eyes he saw his own reflection with his hand raised in suspended action and the mirror image of his father behind him. The tears welled up in her eyes as he heard his mother's voice and the young girl's echoing each other.

"Please don't hurt me again."

His mother's voice was soft and defeated.

"Please don't hurt me."

The young girl's voice was soft and shaky. Slowly, Severus lowered his hand. Stepping further into the shadows he watched as the girl scrambled to her feet and quickly fled the room with her curly hair flying behind her...

~*~*~

"And thinking of that fit of grief or rage

I look upon one child or t'other there

And wonder if she stood so at that age--

For even daughters of the swan can share

Something of every paddler's heritage--

And had that colour upon cheek or hair,

And thereupon my heart is driven wild:

She stands before me as a living child."

Hermione felt his grip tighten just a bit. She resisted the urge to wince as the words spilled from his lips. She wasn't even sure if he was aware he was speaking them.

"Yeats."

He seemed to snap back to reality as his deep eyes narrowed on her.

"What are you rambling on about Miss Granger?"

"I...um...Yeats...I was just wondering why you were reciting Yeats."

Removing his hands from her arms he turned and began to rub his own head in an attempt to stop the coming headache.

"Get out Miss Granger."

~*~*~

Nobody had seen Hermione since she delivered a tray to Professor Snape's room. Harry and Ron exchanged concerned glances as they waited in the drawing room for Professor Dumbledore to arrive. Draco stood by the windows with the drapes pulled slightly out in order to see outside. With his other hand he had his wand pointing out the window with a smirk on his face, apparently pleased with whatever he was amusing himself with.

Hermione had kept herself in the one place she knew no one would happen into--Sirius' room. The cold emptiness of the room did nothing to improve her mood. Sure, the room was filled with objects...with things...but life had long left the room. She slowly made her way down the stairs to the drawing room before Professor Dumbledore arrived. The room seemed off a bit when she walked in. Harry and Ron stood with their arms crossed over their chests whispering to each other while watching Malfoy through the corner of their eyes. Ginny sat quietly reading. Something just seemed off.

Then her eyes made their way to Draco. She watched him raise his wand and again and again so discretely and the mischievous and evil grin told her all she needed. Her hands immediately went to her waist.

"Draco Malfoy, what exactly are you doing?"

Draco had not heard her or seen her enter the room. The sudden scolding outburst from Hermione startled him causing him to drop his wand...out the window. His mouth gaped open in disbelief that Hermione had caught him so off guard that it caused him to drop his wand. Harry and Ron could be heard snickering, but no one paid them any attention. Draco turned an angry glare to Hermione only to see her standing there now with her arms crossed and tapping her foot. She expected an answer. He would never get a chance to answer.

~*~*~

Severus halted in the hall. Hermione's voice could be heard in all its disapproving glory. He stood in the shadows outside the door and watched Draco drop his wand. He watched the interaction between Hermione and Draco, but it was clouded by the thought of what task had been set for Draco. He watched them with a touch of paranoia gnawing at him and felt his stomach churning. An old hand rested on his shoulder.

"Severus, the boy has not given us any indication that he will follow through with his task."

Severus turned to look at Dumbledore.

"Is this really necessary?"

Chuckling, Dumbledore stepped passed Severus and into the drawing room.

"Accio wand."

At the sound of Dumbledore's voice everyone grew silent and turned to look at the man. Draco's wand shot back up through the window and into Dumbledore's hand.

"Mister Malfoy, I believe Miss Granger has reprimanded you so sufficiently that mine would be ill suited."

Abashed, Draco took his wand from Dumbledore's outstretched hand with a mumbled thank you. That's when the others noticed the younger man behind Dumbledore. Harry watched him with narrowed eyes that shifted to Ron and back again. Both boys were sizing this young man up as if he were some sort of competition is some silly game. Hermione watched this and rolled her eyes. She found the boys' reaction too entertaining not to watch them as Dumbledore explained who the young man was--Professor Snape.

"Now, if you will excuse me. I have an errand to run and I believe Molly is bringing dinner to you now."

With a slight twinkle in his eyes, Dumbledore looked at each student and the professor with a smile and nod. Mrs. Weasley entered with dinner to be served in the drawing room and instructions to go immediately to bed.

With butterflies tickling her stomach, Hermione scurried off to bed like a child waiting for Santa to come. Tomorrow morning they would be on the Hogwarts Express heading to school for the last and final year.

~*~*~

Severus' night remained restless. The thought of standing before the entire student body as he was presently brought about an overwhelming anxiety he thought he was long rid of. He was unaware next to his room sat a young witch suffering the anxieties of the approaching new term.

Excitement bubbled in the pit of her stomach sending her nerves a tingling vibration that just screamed to be moved. Giving up on sleep, she swung her feet off the bed. The coolness of the hard wood floors traveled through her body and she shivered. Grabbing a throw blanket and a book she silently padded out of the room and down the hall to the drawing room. As she drew closer she noticed the flickering reflection on the floor of a fire still going in the fireplace.

Who else is up? I'm the only one who gets this excited about school.

Slowly and quietly peeping into the room she saw a most unusual sight. Her potions professor sat on the sofa. With his head tilted forward, his arms stretched out and up in front of him, held his head as if trying to prevent thoughts from escaping. The shields were down around the professor. He was a strong man, Hermione knew that. He had to be a pillar of strength to carry on right next to Voldemort as a spy...to stand there watching kids he taught stand before Voldemort and make the same mistake Snape did...to have to kill or be killed any time he is called...to have to stand by in silence watching those he taught being murdered...watching parents of children being murdered...She felt the tears welling up again. Hermione watched as this younger looking version took a deep breath. Hermione was frozen to the spot watching him.

As Severus exhaled he heard an intake of breath that was not his own. Slightly lifting his head, his eyes rose up to meet the face of who had disturbed him. Hermione felt ice and warmth at the same time. The cold eyes that belonged to her potions professor held warmth behind the icy shield they held.

"I'm sorry, Professor. I'll return to my room."

She noticed he rolled his eyes as he stood up.

"No, Miss Granger. Far be it from me to prevent the Gryffindor-resident-know-it-all from staying up to all hours of the night reading in a cramped chair till she falls asleep in the most disturbing positions."

As he spoke, Hermione stepped further into the room. She felt the swelling anger engulfing her as Snape stepped by her with those words.

"Better than sitting alone in the dark feeling sorry for myself."

The words escaped her mouth before she could edit them. The moment they left, her hand went up to her mouth and her eyes widened even farther.

"Professor, I am sorry. I do not know what came over me."

Severus turned and eyed the girl up and down with his usual eyebrow raised.

"It would appear quite a lot has over come you as of late, Miss Granger."

He took a step closer to her. Hermione felt her heart pounding and felt her every fiber vibrating with her energy and his, but she refused to back away--she would stand her ground.

"A suggestion, Miss Granger. Take this new found blossoming maturity," She watched as his long slender pale hand moved up and down indicating herself, "and squash it back into that shell of a little girl within you."

He watched as her mouth slowly opened and then closed. He could see it in her eyes--she was processing and analyzing every word he just spoke.

"Trust me, if you don't Miss Granger, its liable to be broken..." His eyes glinted as he stepped forward even closer and whispered, "I dare say, Mr. Malfoy already tried that once."

Severus turned quickly and left the room. Hermione stood in the same spot watching the man or young man leave. Dumbledore had explained that Snape was still the same old Snape...mentally he was the same age--physically he was his twenty-five year old self. Hermione sighed.

Yea, but a much crueler self.

Settling into the chair she sighed again and fought the tears that longed to escape--the tears she refused to let go of--they were hers and hers alone. She felt them welling and threatening to fall.

No.

Hermione opened her book and began to read allowing the words to carry her away, to engulf her in knowledge and the emotion of others, to escape into someone elses madness.

~*~*~

Severus did not return to his room...sleep would not come easily and his mind was a whirlwind of thought.

Did I just threaten a student?

His intentions were not to threaten the girl...only to keep her on guard.

The Dark Lord feeds on her kind of strength.

He left the house and wandered the night. His mind filled with memories and thoughts as he wandered into Diagon Alley. The shivering ice that seemed to creep through his spine coupled with a white hot rage alerted him as to where he stood.

The night was pitch black. The glowing fire light that magically lit the streets of Diagon Alley seemed surreal. Severus stood on a corner. On one side was the dimly glowing Diagon Alley with the last of the night's shoppers scurrying away in a delighted laughter that would seem to light them up in their own internal firelight. On the other side was the damp dark Knockturn Alley. The alley seemed to fall into nothing as nothing was aglow in fire light. To step into that alley was to step into something you knew nothing about--to blindly follow.

Slowly Severus turned to face the building. The fire glow of Diagon Alley now alights behind him. The shrouded Knockturn Alley coupled with the building kept Severus in the dark. He stood in the very spot the light and dark of the two alleys met and faced his demons hiding in those shadows. The Saracen's Head stood before still entertaining dark wizards of all types and above stood a dark broken window of his past...

~*~*~

Hermione had sat and listened as her professor left the house. The words she read continued to engulf her. She allowed the words to incorporate themselves into her very existence. She felt the fear...the love...the hate...the anxiety...the madness fighting to rise above all...

"Below the thunders of the upper deep,

Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,

His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep

The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee

About his shadowy sides; above him swell

Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;

And far away into the sickly light,

From many a wondrous grot and secret cell

Unnumbered and enourmous polypi

Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.

There hath he lain for ages, and will lie

Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,

Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;

Then once by man and angels to be seen,

In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die."