Roommate Wanted

Harry awoke with a blinding headache and a can of beer in his hand. He glanced down and saw his rather naked chest. He groaned. Either someone had tried to take advantage of him last night or he had been dancing on the tables topless again. And what was he doing with beer? Ugh, fat in a can, Harry thought, and threw it in the bin. As usual, he got out of bed and felt his way to the kitchen in a haze. Whenever he got very, very drunk, he always went partially blind. Scattered around the house were signs of a very successful party.

Empty plates and glasses were strewn everywhere, the furniture had been moved around and some guests who were too drunk to return home were asleep at various spots around the apartment. Harry spotted Fred snoring under the dining table, Oliver Wood curled up in front of the TV and Luna and Ginny balled up on opposite ends of the couch. Harry stumbled into the kitchen, nearly tripping over Ron, who had managed to conjure up a sleeping bag before falling asleep on top of it on the kitchen floor. He made his way to the cabinet, wrenched open the door and reached out for a Hangover Potion, the same time a pale hand reached out for the same bottle. Harry and Draco had grabbed the last bottle of Hangover Potion at the exact same moment. Hand still on the small glass bottle, Harry whirled around to face Draco...and immediately regretted it when he felt his head pound against his brain.

"Ughhh," he moaned.

"Let go, Harry! Don't let me hex you!" Draco half-whispered, half-hissed. Apparently his hangover was just as bad as Harry's, if not worse.

"No way, Malfoy! I should get it, I bought it!"

"I cooked and mixed cocktails last night!"

"Um, you offered to do that!"

"I need it more than you do!"

"I go blind when I'm hungover, so give it to me!"

"Are you sure it's not because you don't have your glasses on?"

"Argh, you're such a pain in my ass!"

Suddenly the bottle was gone, and Draco and Harry both looked down to see Ron swallowing the potion.

"Ron, I'm gonna murder you..." Harry snarled and pulled Ron up by the neck of his shirt.

"And when he's done that, I'm going to bring you back to life and kill you again!" Draco added.

Fred and Oliver, who had just woken up, came staggering into the kitchen.

"Hangover...potion...dying..." Fred whispered as he held onto the counter for support.

Ron glanced at Harry, who shot him a look that clearly said 'I'm about to send an Avada Kedavra flying your way'.

"Um, I'll run out and buy some," Ron said and ran out of the kitchen.

An hour later, Harry, feeling much better and calmed after a Potion, was restocking the cabinet in the kitchen where he usually kept what he thought was a never-ending supply of Hangover Potions. Draco was out in the living room, casting one clean-up spell after another in every direction. Just as they were finishing up, Hermione dropped by for a visit.

"Come on, Harry, let's go try out that café across the street!" she suggested.

After inviting Draco to come along, which he declined, Harry and Hermione found themselves sitting outside the café, sipping mugs of cappuccinos.

"So, great party last night," Hermione began conversationally. "God, I would kill for another one of those spring rolls. Anyway, Dean and I were wondering if Draco was gay. I say he is, but Dean doesn't think so, so then I said--,"

"Hold up. Draco's gay?" Harry interrupted.

"Um, I'm asking you. Didn't you ask when you interviewed him?" Hermione asked.

"No. It's not something you just blurt out. I always assumed he was straight," Harry shrugged.

"Because last night, I saw him dancing rather, well... sexily, with Jake. And, well, I think we all know very well which side of the team Jake bats for!" Hermione said.

Jake worked with Harry at The Daily Prophet as the fashion editor, and he was as straight as a really, really crooked line.

"Maybe Draco was just really drunk, or something," Harry said.

"And he recognises brands! God, I need new clothes. It hurts when people throw the whole 'last season' thing right in your face," Hermione muttered darkly.

"Mmm. Well, maybe he just likes brands."

"Well, why don't we ask Roland to help? And then, let's go shopping!" Hermione suggested.

Help came in the name of Roland Krance.

Roland was the editor of The Daily Prophet, in other words, Harry's boss, and also one of the few people Harry looked up to - kind of like a father-figure, or a gay role model. He was one of the first people Harry came out to, and being gay himself, Roland was extremely supportive. He also had one of the most finely tuned gay-dar, in Harry's opinion.

So, Harry invited Roland over to sniff out the gay potential in his new roommate. Hermione, having heard this, decided she couldn't miss out on the fun and dragged Ron and Dean along.

Harry had told Draco he was having friends over for dinner, and Draco offered to cook. Harry accepted the offer, and at five pm sharp, his friends arrived.

Harry opened the door and greeted his guests. They settled in the living room for some drinks, and Harry dragged Draco out of the kitchen to meet Roland.

"Draco, this is my boss, Roland Krance. Roland, my new roommate, Draco Malfoy," Harry introduced.

Roland shook hands with Draco, while subtly running an eye over him. Draco was dressed in slim, faded jeans and the same T-shirt he wore to the party. After some small talk, Draco excused himself to return to the cooking and Roland settled back onto the couch.

"Well? What do you think?" Hermione asked eagerly.

"Hmm. It's still pretty early to tell, but so far, my compass needle is pointing to Q," Roland said, sticking his arm straight out, much like a compass needle.

"Q?" Dean and Harry asked together.

"Mmm-hmm. Queer. Tight shirt, can tell he works out, nicely fitted jeans, great hair, obviously spent about two hours working on it, soft, moisturised hands and I smelt the new Gucci fragrance!" Roland exclaimed.

"So because of all that, he's gay?" Ron asked.

"Well, I can't say for sure. You say he's a chef, no? Chefs should have not so touchable hands - coarse from rough work, burns, maybe - but his hands were well taken care of. Obviously uses expensive moisturiser, and I really can't see straight guys spending that much money on skin products," Roland surmised. "But we'll wait and see. I have a few little tests up my sleeve."

And so the first test came. Roland assigned Hermione and Ron to stay near the kitchen, making sure Draco didn't go near his room. Because if he did, he would find Harry, Dean and Roland in his bathroom going through his products.

"Shit...." Harry breathed as he, Dean and Roland stared up at Draco Malfoy's bathroom wall. Now they understood why there was that complicated locking charm on the door. Thankfully Roland managed to unlock it and now, they were faced with what seemed like a year's supply of beauty products for the whole of Britain. Staring down at them was a shelf lined with bottles, containers, sprays, pots and jars of shampoo, conditioner, soaps, gel, wax, hair mousse, moisturisers, lotions, after-shave, cologne and more . That shelf certainly wasn't in there when Harry moved in - Draco must have conjured it up.

"Well, I think this says it! He's soo gay!" Dean exclaimed.

"Or maybe just self-conscious about his image!" Harry added.

"God, Harry. For a gay man, your gay-dar is totally shit!" Dean answered.

"Boys, boys. Patience. I still have one more test..." Roland said.

The final test came just before dinner. The doorbell rang, and Harry got up to answer it, wondering who it was. Roland answered the question for him.

"Oh, that must be Jake," Roland said.

"Jake?" Harry asked, dumbfounded.

"Harry, didn't you remember Roland telling you he invited Jake along tonight?" Hermione asked, cottoning on quickly.

Harry nodded slowly. "Oh, yeah. Forgot, sorry," he said, playing along, assuming this was part of the final test.

Harry made his way to the door and pulled it open, letting Jake in. After greetings all around, Draco emerged from the kitchen and spotted Jake.

"Jake, hi! I didn't know you were coming," Draco exclaimed and reached out to shake Jake's hand.

"Yeah, Harry forgot to remind you," Hermione said with a nervous chuckle.

God, she's such a shit liar, Harry thought, watching his friend with an amused smile.

They got through dinner fairly quickly with easy conversation and a non-stop flow of wine. After eating, Harry and Draco cleared the dishes and started washing up in the kitchen. Just as Harry cast a clean-up spell on the dishes in the sink, Jake appeared in the doorway.

"Hey, Harry, can you give us a minute?" he asked, nodding toward Draco with a suggestive smile.

"Ummm, okay...." Harry said, and exited into the living room, where the rest of his friends were.

"What is your plan, exactly?" Harry shot at Roland.

"Well, right now, Jake is in there asking Draco out. If he says yes, this coin will turn green, and obviously Draco is gay," Roland said, holding a sickle in his palm. "Hermione charmed it for me," he added, winking at Hermione.

"What if he's gay, but he says no?" Dean asked.

"Um, then I'll have to think of a new plan..." Roland said.

"Wait, wait. Let's backtrack a bit. Jake is asking Draco out?" Harry asked, trying to ignore the stab of jealously, or the strong urge to run into the kitchen and punch Jake.

"It's that okay, Harry?" Hermione asked, watching the strange look on Harry's face.

"Uh, yeah, fine! No problem!" Harry said breezily.

God, he's such a shit liar, Hermione thought, watching her friend with narrowed eyes.

"Guys, something's happening!" Ron exclaimed, eyes fixed on the sickle.

They all hurried to look at the coin on Roland's outstretched palm. It started to glow around the edges, and suddenly flashed a bright green.

Dean gasped. "He said yes! He's gay! Hah, told you so," he said to Harry.

"I dunno...it looks a little blue to me..." Harry said and shrugged nonchalantly.

They stopped talking as Jake waltzed out of the kitchen with a smug smile on his face. He glanced at Roland and gave him a tiny wink. Roland answered back with a small nod.

"Jake's just leaving, so I'll see him out," Draco said.

"Okay! Bye, Jake! Good seeing you! Bye-bye! Later, mate!" the rest of them answered back, talking at the same time.

As soon as the door closed behind Jake and Draco, Hermione, Ron and Dean flew towards the door, trying to peek through the peephole to get a glimpse of what Draco defined as 'see him out'.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes, before getting up to pull his friends away from the door.