To Be The Moon

To Be the Moon

His footsteps echoed through the vacant halls that had earlier been filled with hundreds of students. Now, there was only the steady rhythm of his feet on the cold, stone floor to keep him company. He hated it. It was altogether too big, too much...his parents had been wrong, he wasn't ready for this. And when the other students found out... he shook his head violently. He'd be long gone before that.

The boy came to an abrupt halt as the corridor spread into two diverging paths, each nearly identical to the hallway he'd chosen minutes earlier. Struggling to recall something as familiar, he found, to his dismay, he couldn't recognize anything in the area. He was lost. So much for superior instinct, he thought angrily, and then turned to the left, following the darker corridor where several of the torches had burnt out. It seemed appropriate.

He'd not gotten more than half way through when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dark shape come hurtling towards him, knocking him to the ground with a strength that forced all the air from him. Spots danced before his eyes, and he gasped for breath, only vaguely aware of the pressure on his chest, and a voice shouting, "give over Malfoy!" Startled to find a wand mere inches from his nose, the boy instinctively covered his face with his hands and waited for his assailant to finish the attack. It did not come.

Instead, an odd thing happened. The darkness around him dissipated, and was replaced with a dusty pale luminescence, supplied by the one thing he both feared and hated to his very bones. The clouds had parted, and chance had had him fall beneath an open window, where the waxing moon glared down in malevolent glory. But it was by this light that he was able to make out who had attacked him, as the other boy was still sitting on his chest, panting slightly.

"Who-?" The other boy's finger pressed against his lips silenced him, and he waited in confusion until he too heard the footsteps not far from them. He should have heard them earlier, but realized that the sound of his heart drowned out nearly everything...except that there were two racing heartbeats instead of one, in perfect synchronicity to his ears.

The other boy looked down at him as the footsteps receded in the opposite direction, evidently choosing the corridor leading to the right. Black hair fell over his eyes, touching the tip of his nose, but not managing to conceal how the moonlight touched his cheeks, accentuating the determined glow of his dark eyes and the soft curve of his mouth into an apologetic grimace.

"Sorry," he said softly, keeping his voice low. "Thought you were someone else. Heard he'd be out causing trouble tonight, and thought I might try to catch the slime in the act." Instantly he was on his feet, offering a hand to the boy still lying, slightly stunned, on the floor. His eyes narrowed. "He didn't send you did he? As a decoy?" The other boy shook his head quickly. "I got lost," he whispered back. The dark haired boy studied him for a moment and then nodded, pocketing his wand. "We'd better get out of here, then. I don't think either of us wants to be expelled before the first month is through. The second month of term...that's a different story." His face spread into a mischievous grin.

"Sirius Black," the dark haired boy said, as the other grasped his outstretched hand and was pulled up to his feet. "Remus Lupin," the other answered, brushing off his robes. Sirius took a step closer, recognition dawning in his eyes. "You're in Gryffindor, aren't you? You're the one who got called to the Headmaster's office twice already!" His eyes, so open and expressive, held genuine excitement, and awe. Remus stared at him for a moment, almost about to correct his clear misconception as to the reasons why he'd been speaking with Albus Dumbledore, "the full moon is coming, Remus, we must be prepared," but closed his mouth and attempted to shrug nonchalantly.

"Well come on then, mate," Sirius said jovially, placing an arm around Remus and leading him away from the window, "I'll show you where to go...but on the condition that you'll teach me some of your tricks. Twice in two weeks, and not expelled! And no points taken off, either. You must be brilliant!"

Remus was content to leave Sirius to his speculating, offering only yes or no, which only further piqued the dark haired boy's interest. "What? Modest! You could be the greatest prankster Hogwarts has ever known! You'd be legend!" By the time they reached the tower, Remus couldn't help but return Sirius' grin before saying goodnight. A strong sense of belonging had settled over him, and even with the challenges he knew he'd be forced to face, he felt he could make it.

That night, Remus Lupin was awake a long time in the Gryffindor tower, even as the night grew old and black faded to purple and orange on the horizon. He stood at the window, and for the first time felt neither hatred, nor anger, nor fear when he stared at the snowy white orb suspended from the sky. He felt he might even come to appreciate it, in the way so many authors used it to conjure up an atmosphere of romance or mystery; all clearly just attempts to fabricate it's coldness. He could not understand their fascination; there was nothing more to the moon itself. It was still a frozen mass, emanating stolen light, serving as a constant reminder of his deviance. He'd often wished to make it disappear forever. Tonight had changed that.

He'd seen its other side, when for so long had believed it had only one facet - a face that turned him into a monster. But he'd learned that night that there was another, just as he was not the monster every day of his life. He sighed and closed his eyes. He could recall the faint aura of silver just above Sirius' head, dancing amongst the long strands of raven hair. He could see it light his eyes and touch his face in a delicate caress, creating a stunning contrast between the pale glow and the darkly beautiful boy beneath it. For the first time, Remus Lupin was envious of the moon.

He would have given anything to do the very same.