How Things Change

How Things Change

So a student had a crush on him. But the funniest thing - the gosh darnedest, piss your pants, kick you in the balls, funniest thing was that the student in question was Draco Malfoy, and he, Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and Head of Slytherin house, had harboured feelings for Draco Malfoy for a number of years. Originally, Snape had thought he just cared for the boy in a paternal fashion, as Draco was of course the son of his good friend Lucius Malfoy, but as time went by, those feelings grew stronger, and when Draco was in his fourth year at the school, at the stage in his life where he was somewhere beyond childhood but not yet a man, at that stage many people called adolescence, although Snape did not like to think of it that way, and it was when Draco was at said stage in his life that Snape had his first erotic dream starring Draco Malfoy, of house Slytherin.

Having this thought, Snape believed it important to note that this was not his first erotic dream, but that it was the first to involve Draco. He also believed it vital to maintain that the dream was not - could not be - where his feelings for Draco had suddenly changed. Indeed, Snape realised such feelings had instead gradually developed, and that the dream was his minds way - and, yes, his body's way too, there was no denying that - of actually pointing the development out. But Snape by no means thought that the transference of being the boy's mentor to having such deep affection for him - of even possibly loving him - had come of just one dream.

Now of course Severus Snape was left with a dilemma: let Draco know of his realisation and tell him that he knows the boy feels the same; or wait for Draco to come to him, as Snape was sure he would, knowing him so well and having taught and mentored him for so many years. Snape was not one to make such decisions lightly, and thus he spent many sleepless nights agonising over the problem, until Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, had informed him that he needed to rest because in the state he was currently in he was not doing students any good at all and that Dumbledore was actually considering a temporary suspension or - and Snape knew Dumbledore knew perfectly well how much he was against this idea - Dumbledore would have Snape admitted to the hospital wing until his body caught up on the lack of sleep. This ultimatum caused Snape to make a decision, and make it he did, in the middle of a sixth-year Gryffindor/Slytherin Potions lesson. And so for the next two years, Severus Snape did nothing. He taught his lessons as usual, became slightly more bad-tempered, and waited for Draco to come to him.

As it was that never happened. But Snape still had possession of a note found on his classroom floor after a Potions lesson in fourth year.

Malfoy, everyone's saying you like Snape! True? Write back. Harry.

Potter, so what if I do? What do you care? Draco.

Malfoy, of course I care. It's not like we're enemies anymore. But, seriously, Snape? Why? Harry.

Potter, I just do. He's... well, I can't explain it, but he's amazing. And shut up. Draco.

Malfoy, fine, whatever. (Tell me if anything happens between you - as if!). Harry.

Potter, will do. Don't reply because I'm not writing back. Draco.

And that was that. Snape knew Draco liked him, and he had finally decided to do something about it. At the end of his sixth-year Gryffindor/Slytherin Potions lesson, he muttered to Draco that he should stay behind. Snape thought he was speaking quietly, discreetly, inconspicuously, but as a combination of luck and Sod's Law would have it, everyone else in the room chose exactly that moment to fall silent, and Snape's words were audible to the entire class.

Draco flushed quickly and then paled, actually reaching a shade considerably whiter than normal. He looked down, under the pretence of packing his bag, and then regained his usual calm and arrogance. Draco looked up, met Snape's eyes, and said, "Sure, Professor. No problem." He then turned around and scanned the class, not avoiding anyone's eyes, but perhaps holding on to Harry's a moment longer than the others; then Draco flashed them all his customary sneer-like grin.

"See something you like?" he asked.

Gradually, everyone left - Harry being the last one out - and Snape leant back against his desk, regarding Draco admiringly. Draco sat atop his regular desk, stretched out and swinging his legs gently.

"Like I said," Draco began. "See something you like?"

"I don't see anything I don't like," replied Snape.

"You really should work on being more suave, you know," Draco grinned.

Snape managed a slight smile, then swept forward and kissed Draco in one movement. The kiss was slow at first, and then grew hungrier, tentative tongues darting out to explore mouths, soft lips pressing against each other, teeth gently grazing lips. Draco moaned softly into the older man's mouth and in response Snape pulled him closer, pressing his own body firmly against the blonde's. Snape's hands began to move over Draco's body, exploring the boy's chest and back, becoming more and more daring, until Draco pushed him away without warning.

"What's wrong?" asked Snape, frowning. "I thought..."

"You thought wrong," Draco replied. "Besides, I've got my reputation to uphold."

"If Potter's anything to go by, the whole school knows you have feelings for me already, and has done for the past two years."

"Harry? What's he said to you?"

"Not to me, Draco - to you. The two of you should know better than to write notes in my class."

"So, is there a point to this?"

"My point is that, if everybody already knows, your 'reputation' has nothing to fear."

Draco fancied he could practically hear the quotation marks surrounding that word. Maybe he could.

"So what's stopping you?" Snape finished.

"It's nothing personal... you just don't do it for me anymore. Maybe when I was a kid, but now... not so much. I'm sorry."

"You're sleeping with Potter."

"A little bit," Draco admitted. "Although it's not so much 'sleeping with' him as having raw, animalistic, passionate sex. It's really quite good. You should try it sometime. With someone else. Someone that isn't me."

Swinging his bag over his shoulder, Draco turned and walked slowly from the room, wiggling his hips ever so slightly to further antagonise the now blushing Potions master.

Harry was waiting about four metres along the corridor, partially obscured by the shadow of a statue. As Draco approached, he stepped out and faced the boy who had once been his sworn enemy.

"Bloody hell, Potter, what are doing loitering around down here?" Draco asked, slightly taken aback but trying not to show it.

"Please," said Harry in a disgusted tone. "I'm not loitering, I'm casually standing."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Why?"

"Wanted to know what Snape wanted. And whether you gave it to him."

"You're jealous!" exclaimed Draco with sudden realisation.

"Curious," replied Harry.

"Stop being semantic, Potter, you're a bugger for that."

"Well?"

"Well...?"

"Snape?" Harry prompted.

"He kissed me. A lot. He wanted more, understandably, since I'm so erotically delectable and all, but I left the room," Draco replied in a matter-of-fact, blasé manner.

"Right, and you just let him kiss you then?"

"I kinda like it when you're jealous, you know, Potter. Don't worry, we can have a lot of rough, passionate sex tonight to make up for it."

Harry thought about this for a moment, kissed Draco on the lips once, turned and left.

Draco sighed and shook his head. "Sometimes it's hard being so damn irresistible."

That evening, Severus Snape, dejected and feeling the effects of low self esteem, did something very, very stupid. Now at the time this idea seemed very good, as all inherently bad ideas are wont to do. It is not until much later that we realise the full extent of our stupidity. Being a wizard, however, does enable one to make much bigger mistakes than the average Muggle, who obviously cannot blow up their aunt in a fit of rage or release the soul of a murderer from a diary accidentally. In comparison to these examples, Snape's mistake was rather more serious.

That evening Snape enchanted a handheld mirror to record a certain event. The event in question took place in the Slytherin sixth-year dormitory and, more prominently, in the four-poster bed of Draco Malfoy, which now not only contained the aforementioned boy but also Harry Potter, of house Gryffindor. The two boys had cast an impervious charm around the bed, and were currently kissing rather energetically, Draco's hand having slipped down into Harry's trousers, whilst Harry seemed to be enjoying divesting Draco of his shirt. These activities continued in a similar manner until both boys were fully naked on top of the sheets, both sexually spent - for the time being at least.

All of this Snape caught and stored in the confines of the mirror, ideas already forming in his head. Placing the mirror in a cupboard, under a pile of clothes, Snape rolled up the left sleeve of his robes and pressed two fingers over the mark that disfigured his forearm, murmuring the incantation he hadn't uttered for around fifteen years. The burning pain was instantaneous, but he had expected that and had the mental capacity to deal with it; the feeling that always came with Occlumency, that sensation of cold, dead fingers prying through the mind, was likewise anticipated; but the inability to hide any thoughts was horrific. After a moment, however, all feelings past, and Snape settled into a cold blankness, pure neutrality, as the voice of Lord Voldemort resounded through his mind.

Severus.

My Lord, I felt it necessary to contact you as I have recently come into possession of a certain set of evidence, which would allow me to convince Draco Malfoy to kill Albus Dumbledore for you.

Why wait so long for this? You could have removed Dumbledore for me long ago yourself.

Yes, my Lord, but this way I will not come under suspicion, and can therefore remain a loyal servant to you.

Do not lie to me Severus. What you mean is that you will escape punishment for your actions among other wizards, but will gain credit from me.

That is true, Lord, but that was not my main intention. What is your wish on this matter?

Do it.

And all at once everything was gone. Snape was bent over the ebony desk in his chambers with a throbbing headache. Things were beginning to change. Snape had made his mistake.

One week later, two days before Christmas break, Snape approached Draco in the Great Hall, took him by the shoulder and roughly guided him into a nearby empty classroom.

"The Dark Lord has a job for you."

Draco's jaw dropped. "What?" he managed.

"You are to kill Albus Dumbledore, as a young Death Eater."

"What if I refuse?"

"You won't. I have footage of you and Harry Potter together, which I'm certain you won't want your father seeing. That evidence gets destroyed once Dumbledore dies."

Draco swallowed noticeably. "Does my father know what the Dark Lord wants me to do?"

"You can tell him over Winter break."

With that said, Snape turned, cloak swirling around him, and stalked from the room. Draco remained in the room, sitting on a desk in contemplative silence, for some time, until Harry walked in.

"I've been looking for you everywhere. What's going on?"

"What, not with Mudblood and Weasel for a change?" Draco spat.

Harry looked hurt. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Joined at the hip, aren't you? Makes sense, I suppose, you're all Gryffindor scum after all. Pathetic, really."

"What the hell is wrong with you Malfoy?"

"You, Potter, you're bloody well wrong with me. Everywhere I look you're there, it's driving me crazy. It's like you're under the impression that we're in a... a relationship or something. Well, let's get this straight, Potter, it was just sex, and now it's over. Deal with it."

Harry looked at the ground for a long time, angry, upset. There was obviously something bothering Draco, but nothing Harry said now would do anything to help. Harry knew that Draco imploded when something upset him, looking cool on the outside, saving his so-called reputation, but in doing so he often hurt and distanced himself from everyone that cared about him. So without another look at Draco Malfoy, Harry walked away.

It wasn't much later in the year that Albus Dumbledore was killed by Severus Snape, when Draco found he couldn't go through with his task, however much he'd previously thought he had convinced himself it would be easy. Draco was forced to remain with Snape, who took great delight in forcing sexual favours from the younger boy. After that, everything changed.