Look Back In Anger

Chapter Two: Worn Thin

~*~

"Luna, I think you've had quite enough..." Ginny said wearily.

"Mm fine," the light-haired girl insisted, waving her friend off as she poured herself another shot of firewhiskey. "Jus' one mo'..." she slurred as she brought the glass to her lips and drained it.

Luna, quite obviously, had not taken the news well at all. Ginny had all but placed the paper on her bed when the tears began to fall. It was almost as if she was expecting it, Ginny thought as her friend stared drunkenly at the fire lit in the room's fireplace. How Luna could possibly have expected something like this, she did not know, and wasn't sure if it was her place to pry into anyway. So she let her cry, and stayed with her until the sobs subsided. The only coherent thing Luna could say after that was "Firewhiskey."

Ginny knew better than to fight with a distraught Luna Lovegood, so she rummaged around until she found an unopened bottle and some shot glasses. She thought Luna would be done after two or three shots and would retire to bed, but here she was, six shots later and drunk off her arse.

"Do ya evah think abou' 'Arry, Gin?" Luna asked unexpectedly, swaying a bit despite the fact that she was sitting on the floor. Ginny turned her head abruptly and looked at Luna, wondering if she had really asked that question. She cringed a little as she mumbled.

"Well... I... sometimes... I guess..."

Luna turned her gaze on her red-haired friend. Ginny could see her eyes glazed over from the effects of the alcohol, but past that, she felt Luna stare at her with such intensity that she almost wanted to look away. The look scared her. It was as if Luna were trying to read her like a book, trying to pear into her very core and see some truth in what she had said.

After what seemed like ages, Luna shifted her gaze back to the fire, the dancing flames reflected on her glassy eyes. She heaved a loud sigh and quietly said, "I worry abou' ya... ya' sad all th' time now..."

Ginny lowered her head, looking down at her hands, which were trembling slightly as her eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry..."

"... don' be. Ya can' blame yaself anymo'... ya jus' can'..."

Ginny knew in her heart that Luna was making sense. But her mind kept making her relive all her fights with Harry, making it harder to believe that she truly had no blame in them. After all, all she ever did was love him, but not even that had been enough to save them...

~*~

"You had another fight with her, didn't you," Hermione said as she sat at the foot of Harry's bed. Harry ran a hand through his trademark unruly hair and squeezed his eyes shut.

"What was the tip-off?" he asked, opening his eyes again to look at her.

She looked a lot older, a lot more tired than he remembered. It was almost as if she'd been living at Grimmauld place for three years instead of three weeks. He wished desperately to turn back the clocks to the time when none of this mattered. A time when Hermione and him were able to joke around and laugh. A time when the two of them and Ron could work on homework and just sit around the common room. A time when he and Ginny were still together...

"Well," Hermione replied, "Ginny was quieter than usual this afternoon. She was really withdrawn, and I know she wouldn't act that way unless something was truly bothering her. And these days, that only means one thing..." She looked at him with concern. "I don't know why you insist on all of this bickering. We're safe for the time being... why can't you cut her a break?"

Harry couldn't seem to find a justified answer to this. He just sighed loudly, kicking a thick text off his bed and onto the floor with a loud thump. If the action bothered Hermione in the least bit, she didn't show it.

She sat for a moment longer, then slowly stood up, feeling defeated. She walked around to the other side of the bed, picked up the discarded text, and made her way to the door. She laid a hand on the doorknob and before she pulled the door open, she quietly said, "I don't think I even know you anymore."

With that, she slipped through the door, snapping it shut behind her.

~*~

How could he? Could he not see how foolish he was acting? And now... he hurt me... Susan sat at the kitchen table, a mug of hot tea settled between her hands. She had yet to take a sip, but she really didn't care. Her mind was reeling with the events that had occurred earlier that day. The paper being delivered by Hedwig... the fight that broke out between Neville and Ron... the blow she had taken...

She stared out the window. Night had already fallen, although it was still relatively early in the evening. The days never seemed to last long anymore. Not since the war had begun...

Neville stood quietly in the doorway, leaning against the frame of it. He watched the shadows being cast upon Susan's face, guilt welling up in his chest as he made out a faint outline of where he had hit her earlier. It all had happened so fast that he couldn't even remember hitting her at all. All he remembered was that frightened look she had given him. And how she had ran away, tears threatening to fall from her hazel eyes.

He hadn't been able to catch her alone since, thanks to a very ticked off Hermione. He had wanted to apologize, but she wouldn't hear it. Now, here she was, sitting by herself in the kitchen, deeply immersed in her thoughts. He toed the ground for a moment then softly said, "Hey."

Susan blinked and glanced over at Neville, showing no sign of surprise. "Hey," she replied in a toneless voice.

Neville walked over to where Susan was sitting and wordlessly pulled her into a tight embrace. She instinctively clinged to him, burying her face in his chest as he whispered into her hair, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Her tears soaked through his shirt and he stroked her hair as she whispered back.

"What has become of us?"

She looked up at him, her eyes bloodshot and the certain liveliness that once lived in her eyes was gone. She bit her lip in an attempt to hold back the rest of her tears, making Neville's heart sink and his eyes brim with unshed tears as well.

"I... I don't know..." he answered, as he held her tighter to him. "I just don't know..."