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She can't hide no matter how hard she tries

Her secret disguise behind her lies

And at night she cries away her pride

With eyes shut tight, staring at her inside

All her friends know why she can't sleep at night

All her family asking if she's all right

All she wants to do is get rid of this hell

But all she's gotta do is stop kidding herself

I don't understand why they can't tell. Or why they didn't consider it in the first place. Did they expect me to come out of all of it unscathed? I didn't. I truly believe it killed me. I'm just solid. Like he became. The nightmares won't stop. They got worse when he came back. I cry myself back to sleep, knowing sleep will only make it worse. Every time I close my eyes I see him. His face, his hair, his eyes. All of it. Playing back in my mind over and over. The darkness is my refuge. Only the darkness knows what happened. Only the darkness can feel my pain. They have all these assumptions. They think I'm just sad. As if that was even half of it. I am sad. I'm sad that they think everything's OK. That they think they can help. They care. Oh yes, everybody cares. But they just want to help so they can say they tried. So their conciseness will be clear. To be the good person. They might as well not even do anything. What difference would it make? I know who I am. I know what I am. But I also know that he's a part of me. I can't hide anymore. He wanted to kill me. I think he succeeded. I walk. I talk. But I don't live. I don't think I ever did. I was this floating bubble for so long. Now I'm just a shadow. The only way out is clear. I know what I have to do. I've been staring at the knife for a long time, just trying to build up the courage. Some Gryffindor huh? One day I'll do it. Maybe then they'll know. Maybe then they'll see what became of their little angel. They'll know what the monster did to their baby. They'll cry and hurt. But I'll be free.

She can only fool herself for so long

I wish Harry and Ron had been too late to save me.

When it comes to how to live his life He can't be told

Says he's got it all under control

An addict and he can't hold the reigns

The pain is worse 'cause his friends have it the same

Tries to slow down the problem he's got

But can't get off the carousel until he makes it stop

He can only fool himself for so long

Who do they think they are? Judging me like this? Are they there every day? Do they hear him yell? Do they see everything? I didn't think so. They can't possibly understand. I say and do what I want. No one controls me but me...and him.

I can handle it, really. I've lived with it for fifteen years. If I couldn't handle it I'd be dead by now. Well... more dead than I am now. That's what he wanted all along. To kill me, but keep me alive. So I would become a mindless puppet like him. News Flash Lucius: No one. Not even Voldemort himself. Could ever be as bad as you.

I just have to keep going. Stay alive. I don't have anyone to talk to. Sure it's the same for Greg and Vince and Blaise. But they don't truly care. Their sculls are thick but they're controlled already. An intelligent conversation with the people I'm forced to be around is not all that common. I talk to myself because I'm the only one who listens. Some things never change. This can't go on forever. On of these days he's going to kill me. That day may be sooner than I ever thought. I don't want to choose sides in this war. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of doing what I'm told to do. If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna die for what I want. Not what anyone else forces me to want. To Hell with the rest of them. Dieing may be the only way to get out of this. But I'm no Gryffindor. I'm so afraid to commit suicide. Oh but that would be wonderful. To take my life before he could. To have one up on him. I could leave. But that would be pointless. They would find me. The pain would be worse after that. I can imagine myself. Going to some muggle's house or begging on the street like some pauper. I don't know who that would hurt more. Me, or my father. Well. All I can do is stay. And wait my turn. Tonight. All fate is decided. Voldemort wants me to join. To become a full Death Eater. Tacky tattoo and all. If I refuse? My father will kill me himself. If I accept? The damn Order of the Phoenix that nobody's supposed to know about will kill me with the other Death Eaters when this whole thing is over. Choices, choices. Well, I'm off to Hell. Wish me luck.

He can only fool himself for so long

The entire world is Hell. It just keeps spinning. No one is really alive. Especially if they don't want to be.

Try to fly with the wings I gave you

Try to do what you believe and I'll save you