Slytherin Study Group #2.5: Ramifications

Canon characters and places are all, of course, JKR's. Please don't sue us. We spent all our money on chocolate chip cookies.

Have you tried those new chocolate chip cookies with the thick layer of vanilla crème layered between each pair? We have. The following is a direct result.

~v~ Jinx ~v~ and rabbit

*******

After dinner, and homework in the library, the four disgraced but sleepy Slytherins headed for their dorm room.

As they reached the door, Lucius suddenly held up a warning hand. "Wait."

"Whyever for?" Crabbe whined. "I'm done in, Luke."

"You don't think they've done anything to our room, do you?" Goyle asked. "They wouldn't dare. I mean, Luke's father and all that."

Snape sighed and drew his wand. "Which House are we in?" he asked flatly.

Crabbe sighed and drew his own. "Must be restful, being a Hufflepuff."

Lucius clapped Goyle on the back. "Since you're so sure it's safe, you go first."

The Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Years had been there, probably let in by the Prefects, who had all heard more than enough about Mr. Malfoy's wealth and power and how Lucius would escape the usual punishments.

The quartet of Fourth Years gazed around them with dismay.

All of the fabrics in the room - bedcurtains, blankets and tapestries alike - had been changed into cheery childish prints of fluffy, smiling sheep. The pillows had been turned into overstuffed sheep dolls, and were leaping happily from bed to bed. All but one, which was contentedly eating a scarf.

"Hey, that's mine!" Goyle hurried over to his retrieve his garment, and almost immediately lost a tug of war as the scarf vanished inside his opponent. "Give it back!"

Malfoy stalked to his bed and shoved a sheep off of it, flipping back the blankets to survey the pyjamas which had been neatly stored beneath where his pillow usually rested. The pyjamas were now sunshine yellow, and printed with the same chubby cheery sheep as the room's décor.

"That's torn it," growled Lucius. "My best silk pyjamas."

"They're not torn," encouraged Crabbe, looking a bit bewildered as he approached his own bed. "And they're still silk. They're just... yellow... and they've got sheep on, now."

Crabbe turned away from Malfoy's anger, and rummaged about to produce his own pyjamas, now bright red and covered with happy sheep. "Well, at least you're not alone, Luke," he ventured, gaping at his sleepwear.

Goyle's pyjamas were sky blue and heavily clouded with sheep.

"I don't even want to know," growled Snape, flinging himself into his favorite chair.

Goyle grinned and turned to Snape's bed, rummaging under the blankets. He pulled forth a woolly button-up sleeper complete with a hood with pink-lined ears, and a bright blue ribbon reading "First Prize" sewn round the collar.

Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle burst into howls of laughter, collapsing onto their respective beds.

"Oh, that'll look precious on you, Sev!" chortled Crabbe gleefully, clutching his own sheepwear.

"Oh, absolutely," intoned Lucius, tears trailing down his face. "Severus Snape, bellwether of the ball!"

"Hey, look! It has got a little bell, as well!" Goyle tinged the tiny golden bell, making it jingle merrily.

Snape flew at him, screeching, to snatch at the offending garment. He tripped over a gamboling pillow, and sprawled beside the bed, hands catching only blanket hems as he went down. He abruptly scrambled to regain his feet, jumping up onto the bed just before a small stampede of crudely transfigured slippers came charging out from under the bed, across the rug, and out the door, bleating, "Caaaan't caaatch meeee! Caaan't caaaatch meeee!"

"Those were our slippers," Crabbe said with dismay, looking out into the stairwell. Peals of laughter drifted up from the common room below, and he shut the door hastily.

"Which were also hand-embroidered silk," Malfoy seethed. "They've bespelled everything."

Snape collected himself, and his dignity, hopped off the bed and stalked over to the fifth bed, which had once belonged to chatty little Hugh Fortinbras. Hugh had managed to offend Malfoy before they'd even put the sorting hat on; after a very long first semester, Fortinbras had scurried home for Christmas Break and had mysteriously failed to return. Now his bed served as the repository for all the other boys' oddments. Snape pushed back the hideous purple be-sheeped bedcurtains and pulled out his cauldron, inspecting it carefully. It did not seem to be a sheep. It did not seem to have any inclinations to become a sheep. He didn't trust it. With a sigh, he collected an armful of books instead. "Good evening, gentlemen," he bade his comrades. "I'll be in the dungeons, doing extra credit work. Don't call me. See you at seven tomorrow."

Kicking a frolicking pillow out of the way, Snape hauled open the door, sidestepped the returning flock of bedslippers, and left his fellows to a long night's work of shepherding.

***

They had to improvise pillows, using their second-best school cloaks. Whatever enchantments held the pillows in sheep form, they were too strong for even very determined Fourth Years to break, and the sheep got very cranky about their attempts. Simply blasting away left the boys with a pile of scorched feathers, a charred pillowcase, and Goyle's somewhat lacier scarf. They put the ruined pillow bits under Snape's blankets, as a sort of thank-you for his support.

Trying to improve matters by changing the various colors of the fabrics only made them more garish, and the trio gave up when Goyle's pyjamas achieved a nice shade of maroon with aquamarine sheep. In a strange way, they looked rather well on him.

The only thing that really improved the colors was dousing the lights, which mercifully also made most of the sheep settle down, bleating softly for a while before subsiding into relative silence.

"What's that sort of ... chewing sound?" asked Crabbe into the darkness.

"The sheep are eating the carpet," answered Malfoy. "Let them. It's hideous, and they're almost quiet."

"You don't think they'll try to eat us?" worried Goyle, pulling his bedcurtains tight.

"Sheep aren't carnivorous. They don't eat meat," Malfoy assured him.

"I've been bit twice now!" Goyle protested.

"Yes, but they didn't tear off chunks and swallow, did they?" Malfoy pointed out.

"Well... no..."

"Stop worrying," Malfoy commanded. "And go to sheep... sleep!"

Crabbe and Goyle obeyed as usual; Malfoy stared into the darkness for awhile longer, contemplating revenge until he drifted off with visions of thumbscrews dancing in his head....

****

They were woken a while later by the conveniently-numbered sheep.

The creatures were little, but they were loud.

And nimble.

Each sheep was about the size of a Bludger, and bore a glowing number on each flank. The fluffy things moved in a determined line, leaping and scrambling up the side of a bed so that each sheep could bleat its assigned number repeatedly as it hopped onto and over a sleepless student, before jumping off that bed and racing to another.

Presumably, the spell's authors had run out of ingredients, time or interest, for the sheep stopped at seventy-three and the lot of them began to repeat their path precisely, starting with Sheep One, which, when finally caught, was discovered to have a little blue collar and a bell. Malfoy used the tiny bellwether to lead the lot into Goyle's trunk and slammed the lid on them.

After that, the soft scattered baaing and quiet munching could well be ignored by three exhausted boys who had been up most of the previous night.

******

Promptly at midnight, Snape's cauldron turned into a bewildered ram with magnificently curled horns, which began a low, loud, insistent bellowing.

Ignoring school policy, the beset boys had been sleeping with wands held ready, and they startled out of sleep and beds, already uttering defensive spells against whatever was making the horrible loud noise.

Several of their spells actually hit the ram.  Some of the hexes bounced, and most of them failed.  They did, however, succeed in changing the noisy ram into an angry ram.

"I can't see it!"

"Lumos!" Malfoy cried, and then, "Look out, you're -- " as he was hit by a Petrificus Curse of such desperate force that it blew the illuminated wand right out of his hand in the instant before he toppled over like a felled tree.

The ram, now able to see its tormentors, lowered its horns and charged.

Crabbe, who was now glowing a particularly bright shade of blue, showed great initiative in a crisis, grabbing his fallen captain and using Malfoy as a barrier against the ram as he and Goyle slid hastily under Goyle's bed.

There was a thud, and an ovine moan, and the ram retreated in stunned confusion, shaking its head to clear it.

Goyle and Crabbe looked in utter dismay at their inert and fortunately quite petrified leader.  There was only one thing for it, now.

"Sev!" Crabbe shouted in a cracked soprano as he threw an unaimed levitation charm over Malfoy's elbow. "Sev! Help!"

"He's not here!" Goyle reminded him, half an octave higher, working up his nerve to peek out into the room.

Silence met his plea, punctuated ominously by the ram's angry huffing, which seemed to come from everywhere.

"He left us! He left us!" Crabbe hyperventilated.

"Wait! Where's the goat? What happened to the goat?" Goyle shrilled, then screamed when the ram slammed back to the floor in a clatter of hoofs, its beady eyes glowing with fury, its snorting nose not six inches from Goyle's.

Crabbe yelled and flattened himself behind Malfoy, throwing another levitation spell that sent the ram sailing upwards long enough for him to grab Goyle and retreat with him to the farthest corner beneath the bed, awkwardly wrestling Lucius along in tow.

They huddled together, catching their breaths.

And then shrieked as what felt like a thousand caterpillars ran all over them, and it was not for a long minute that they realized that the dustbunnies had been transformed into teeny sheep, which now were running riot because of all the fuss.

"It never ends," moaned Crabbe, watching them with a stunned expression. It was getting harder to see them, as his blue glow was fading.

Out in the middle of the room, shadows moved curiously around Malfoy's illuminated wand; the bedslipper sheep had come to investigate this new apparition in their grazing pasture.

"Do sheep eat wood?"

"Goats do," Goyle said unhappily.

"What goat?" asked Crabbe, peering about nervously.

BLAM! The ram hit the floor again. It wasn't pleased.

"That one!" Goyle crammed himself backwards as the angry ram slammed against the side of the bed, shifting it all the way to the wall. The boys retreated, Crabbe hauling Malfoy.

Goyle was more concerned with the large, unfriendly ram.  He pulled at Crabbe's sleeve, earning a yelp from the other boy.  "Wait, look, Vince," he said happily, "it can't fit beneath!"  He pointed to the encouraging sight of the ram, unable  to wedge its huge horns under the bed and come after them.  "It's all right!  We're saved!"

Crabbe returned his smile, nervously.  The dustbunny sheep tickled, but were not a threat.  The ram was bollixed.

But...

Lucius was still petrified.

And the sheep might be eating his wand.

Uneasily, Crabbe looked into his captain's unnaturally still face. He tapped Goyle's shoulder and asked quietly, "D'you remember what happened, when you come out of a Petrificus curse? I mean, to put you in it?"

"I didn't, the last time," Goyle answered, frowning. "But then, I hit my head on all those stairs.... "

"Well... I mean... if you do remember... " Crabbe swallowed drily. "He'll be that angry -- "

Goyle paled.

"Wait, wait," Crabbe fumbled for salvation, "maybe we can blame it on the Sixth Years! Titus! He's always making trouble!"  Titus had actually once called Lucius a Pompous Git, and survived, although Lucius swore it was only due to the excruciatingly slow action of the poison.

"That might work! Worth a try," offered Goyle. "Anyway, we've got to do something... we can't just leave him like that 'til morning! We probably wouldn't last the night, and if Professor Keele has to come in here and un-hex him -- "

"And sees the room," moaned Crabbe.

That would be Bad.

They thought of Fortinbras. They didn't want to go the same way as their ex-roommate. They'd always figured Sev would be the next to disappear for Irritating Lucius.

Crabbe aimed a hasty spell.  Malfoy's pyjamas turned chartreuse.

Flustered, he bit his lip and tried again.  The muffled incantation turned the sheep on Lucius's pyjamas puce.

"Oh, give over! Let me show you how," blustered Goyle, aiming his wand and successfully turning Malfoy puce. He stared at this result, and desperately hoped it was a trick of the light from Crabbe's fading glow. "Well, they match... "

"Remind me to beat Sev up, will you?" growled Crabbe, pushing Goyle aside. He managed to turn Malfoy back to his usual color, except for the hair.

"Right, now I've got it," insisted Goyle, aiming round Crabbe and determinedly casting another countercharm onto Malfoy, whose pyjamas turned yellow, with hand-embroidered black sheep.

"Better," murmured Crabbe. "Keep at it!"

Four aggressive spells later, Lucius jerked alert, shouting, "going to hit me!" He banged his head on the bedslats and curled up, cursing volubly but emptily.

The ram charged the new strange noise, rocking the bed up slightly as Malfoy flipped over to find himself staring at a furious animal bent on his destruction. The bed slammed back down.

Crabbe and Goyle grabbed the bedslats and hung on, counterweighting the bed. Malfoy backed into them, clutching his head. "What happened? What happened to me?"

"Titus Maingauche," said Goyle and Crabbe, too quickly.  "One of his specials," added Crabbe, figuring he might as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb.  "Really obnoxious curse, just froze you right up... we've got the  ice off you, now....  "

"Where's my wand?" demanded Lucius.

Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other, and then across the room to where Malfoy's wand lay mostly unattended. One of the bedslipper sheep was mouthing it thoughtfully.

"That thing is not eating my wand," growled Lucius, snatching Crabbe's wand from his hand.  "Accio wand!"

Malfoy's wand leapt from the carpet and hummed through the air, fetching the ram a sharp crack just behind the ear as it dove towards its owner's hand.

Chaos ensued.

Even Lucius's spells couldn't stick to the ram for more than a minute. They had to give up and concentrate on not letting the creature knock the bed out of the corner.

Eventually it gave up. With a disdainful snort, it jumped up onto the wreckage of Snape's bed and settled down for a nap, just where it had the best view of every possible escape route.

The slipper sheep, which had been disturbed by the fray, settled back down to demolishing the carpet, with only an occasional nervous "baa," coming as counterpoint to the ram's snores.

After awhile, Malfoy crawled forward and glared from under the bedskirt at the dozing ram, trying to ignore the shrill bleating of the tiny dustbunny sheep that refused to be shooed out from under the bed and had taken to gamboling lightly over the rolling hills which had come to their underbed pasture. With a grimace, he plucked two of the things out of his sleeve and softly ordered, "Crabbe, see if you can't sneak out, very quietly, and get the door open without waking it up. We can go sleep in the Common Room."

"What, with Titus and everybody?"

"They'll laugh themselves sick!" whispered Goyle, dismayed.

"Would you rather be out there, or in here, amid the fall of Rome?"

"What?"

"Do it!" Malfoy hissed, shoving his lieutenant forward.

The ram was a very light sleeper.

After the third attempt to sneak out from under the bed, they gave up and dragged Goyle's blankets down, to make nests where they might be able to snatch a few hours of sleep.

The dustbunny sheep were delighted, and got absolutely everywhere. Crabbe got one lodged in his ear.

The bedslipper sheep discovered that they liked to eat pyjamas.

The irritable ram didn't change back until dawn.