Stupid...

It's time to close the pub now. Thank goodness. I never thought the day would end. What with all the visitors that have been coming in.

I laughed today. That was something I seldom do now that you've gone off into hiding. You know what made me laugh? The Weasley boy. You can always tell a Weasley, with their red hair and freckles... but I'm not a red hair, freckles kind of gal. I fancy the tall dark type.

I'm not stupid, you know. I know that you didn't do it. I know you didn't kill all those people.

What I don't know is why you never came to me. Not once. I would never tell anyone that you were here at Hogwarts. Never.

And I guess that's what makes me stupid. No, selfish. For thinking that you would skip over your godson, just to get a gander at me.

Yes, I am stupid.

Not only am I stupid and selfish, but I'm lonely. What happened? Where did things go so wrong?

One morning I'm enjoying breakfast in bed with you, and the next... you're going into hiding because James and Lily had just been murdered and you were at fault. Things can change in the blink of an eye.

Oh great, there's the thunder. It looks like it will be another lonely, sleepless night. The bed is so cold without you. It's been cold without you for more than twelve years.

That's right, I don't even know how long it's been. After you stop crying yourself to sleep, you give up hope, and then you give up counting. But I'd count until I ran out of numbers to count to spend one more night with you again.

But once again, I'm not counting and you're definitely not here.

It seems like yesterday since you were with me. We had great times. Such great times we had.

But here I am, working at a pub, next to the horrible Shrieking Shack I promised you I would never go into. Even if I did see you around that area a lot with the Marauders.

At least I was lucky enough to learn of the Marauders. And good thing I did or we would never have our own little midnight adventures...

There I go laughing again.

At least you can still bring a little laughter to me.

Oh! There I go...crying. I always do it! Every time I laugh about you, I cry! Sometimes I wish that I'd never fallen in love with you! But I always regret that feeling, because I'm hopeless without you!

And that's what I am now. Hopeless... and stupid.

Maybe if you were here, I'd be at St. Mungo's now. Isn't it funny? The Three Broomsticks was the job that paid for my schooling at St. Mungo's. Somehow though, after James and Lily died, and you were sent to Azkaban, I didn't care anymore.

Funny how things turn out.

And there's that blasted door!

I won't open it! Last time I did, dementors were waiting for me on the other side. It's never anyone I want to see! Last year, in your godson's second year, Lucius Malfoy was on the other side of that door. Demanding more than fire whiskey. I wish you were here! And maybe if I wish hard enough, you'll be on the other side of that door.

Oh, they keep knocking. I have no choice but to answer it. It could be Dumbledore. He's a kind man and is always offering good conversation.

Here I am, wishing it were you...

"Sirius?" I couldn't believe my eyes... I wouldn't.

. . .

"Yes, it's me," Sirius said with a half smile.

Even if he did look his absolute worse, Rosmerta didn't care. Tears lit up in her eyes, and before she knew it, she was sprawled out on the tavern floor.

Later, Sirius woke her up with soft whispers into her ear, and before he fled the next morning while Rosmerta was asleep, they spent the rest of the night embracing each other.

And Rosmerta didn't feel so stupid or selfish after all.