The Not-So-Secret Diary of Bethan Black

As Sirius stared at the cover of the book he tried to remember when he had moved permanently back into the family home. He felt certain it had been before the summer, but surely not as early as April. He had flitted between the comfortable familiarity of the house and the privacy of his flat in Manchester, for several weeks before his mother's nagging finally wore him down. He had moved back in for her sake, because, contrary to popular belief, making his mother happy had been important to him. The fact that being back at home meant he had more hanging space for his vast collection of robes and expensive shirts and a leak free place to store the bike were just a few of the added bonuses.

All these questions he had, all these things he couldn't quite remember. He was holding the answers in his hands. Bethan could bring it all back to him. But would she mind? If she were here now, or if she was...wherever she was, looking down on him, would she object?

"Do you mind?" he asked the cracked tiles, but the only answer was the slow, steady drip from the cold tap. Oh what the hell, he thought, after all, in the grand scheme of things reading my sister's diary has got to be the least of my crimes.

Tuesday 4^th March

Mum's really ill. She kept begging me not to, but I just had to owl Dr. Gumby and ask him to come and see her. She seems to have developed a morbid fear of Doctors since Dad died, but what could I do? All she wanted was for me to find that stupid brother of mine. She kept asking for him over and over.

When Gumby showed up (still in his slippers!), I thought I'd better at least try to find Sirius. I tried his flat but he wasn't there so I let myself in with the spare key. (We've only got one so that Mum can send an elf with his ironing) The place was an absolute mess! He is such a filthy pig! How he gets so many girls to go back there with him, I don't know. Luckily, he actually uses the Henderson's Talking Organiser that I bought him for Christmas - it told me he'd gone to his friend's house and then gave me the address. It sounded a bit sarcastic though and actually called me a 'nosy old boot', I think the stupid git has bewitched it. Next year he's getting socks.

Anyway, I digress, I apparated to the friend's house, a quite smallish terrace house, but it looked a lot tidier and better looked after than Sirius's place. (Like that's hard!) So, I knocked and a small, podgy looking guy answered. I asked if the stupid git was here. (Not in so many words, of course - I was very polite)

He looked straight through me, didn't answer, just shouted "Oi Sirius! Girlfriend!"

I began protesting about that, but podgy guy mumbled something like "In here" and walked off. I shut the door and followed him into the living room, which was enveloped in a haze of smoke and beery smells. Very manly - beer bottles and crisp packets everywhere.

Sirius: "You idiot, Podgy, that's my sister" - No, he didn't really call him Podgy - he used the guys name, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.

Podgy: "Well, I didn't know - since when did you have a bloody sister?"

Sirius decided to answer by chucking popcorn at him.

Sirius (to me): "What d'you want?"

Me: "Mum's collapsed. She's not very well. The doctor's with her, but she's been asking for her darling son" End of sentence laced with sarcasm. Nice touch.

Stupid brother git merely nodded and stood up.

That's when I noticed there was someone else in the room. He stood up as well. He was quite nice looking apart from the dark circles under his eyes. He looked really tired, like he hadn't slept for weeks. He smiled at me (nice smile) but he looked concerned as well.

Nice, tired guy: "I'm sorry to hear about your Mother. I hope it's nothing serious" - polite too.

Me: "Oh, no, hopefully not. The doctor's going to do some tests though..."

Nice, tired guy (holding out his hand): "I'm Remus, by the way, Remus Lupin, and my rather uncouth friend here is Percy Petticoat." Was that his name? Something like that. Anyway...

We shook hands.

Me: "Bethan Black" I don't know why I said 'Black' as that was rather obvious - what an idiot.

Remus (smirking): "I never knew Sirius had such a beautiful sister..."

It looks like he's the cheeky one of the bunch. Cheeky but charming, no doubt.

Me (raising an eyebrow in what I hoped was an aloof but sexy way): "I didn't know Sirius had such a smooth talking friend..."

Brother: "Well, Remus, if you've quite finished hitting on my sister...I think we'll go"

And he disapparated. Stupid bloody git.

Few days later (Friday I think):

Not had time to fill you in lately, dear diary, not that I've had anything to relate anyway. Mum's still in a bad way, but her condition hasn't really changed and the doctors aren't much help. All my time's been taken up looking after her. Sirius sat up all Tuesday night with her and then disappeared at sunrise saying he had an 'assignment' that he really couldn't get out of and we haven't seen him since.

I've skipped a few days of work (MM - very understanding, for once) and had to miss Quidditch practice last night. (Coach not so understanding) I told Sirius that he had to be back here by the weekend to take over so I don't miss the match against Scunthorpe Dragons on Saturday. I'd better send an owl over to remind him.

Saturday:

Sirius turned up at breakfast this morning, looking awful. His robes were ripped and he had a dirty, bloody bandage on his arm. I told him to get cleaned up before Mum saw him, otherwise she'd worry herself into a nervous breakdown.

I tried asking him what had happened, but I should have known better. He mumbled on about a 'secret mission' and told me to put the kettle on. Git.

The match went reasonably well. If anything it felt good to be outside again. The Dragons were very good. They scored four times in the first ten minutes so we were behind for the whole game until Malcolm caught the snitch. We really needed that win - at least now we're not bottom of the table.

Mum looked better this evening. She, naturally, attributes it to having Sirius home. He's staying until Wednesday, so I should be able to go back to work on Monday. Oh, joy!

Monday:

Back to work. MM very kind - I think she must be taking something.

Tuesday:

I came home from work to find that Sirius had invited all his friends over. They were all sitting round the dining table like some sort of secret council. They'd obviously been talking, but shut up as soon as I fell out of the fireplace. Merlin, I hate Floo.

Nice, polite Remus Lupin was there and Podgy Petticoat guy, as well as some pretty, young woman I didn't know. James was there too, I haven't seen him for a few years but he hasn't changed.

I checked on Mum (she was fast asleep with a house-elf reading some trashy paperback to her) and then hid myself in the kitchen. Started making a cuppa, but then remembered my manners and thought I'd better offer everyone else one. Sirius grunted "Thought you'd never ask" to me. (Made mental note to spit in his tea.) Pretty lady offered to help, and I was about to protest politely but Remus offered as well, and for some reason I lost the ability to argue.

Pretty lady is called Lily, married to James apparently and currently five months pregnant. Remus introduced us. I'd forgotten James was married. I think I remember her from school - Head girl, maybe?

Lily: "Have they given you some time off school while you're Mum's poorly?"

School? Don't any of them know anything about me?

I took the tea and a plate of biscuits into the dining room before she could start questioning me further. Petticoat guy grabbed a handful and started munching. James was standing by Dad's old bureau holding a picture of me and the team that was taken last year.

James: "Hey, Beth. Still playing?"

Me: "Yeah."

James (looking sympathetic): "Off the bottom of the league yet?"

Sirius snorted.

Remus: "You play Quidditch?"

Me: "Yes. For the 'Hull Hulks'. I'm the Keeper"

Remus: "Wow. Is that a professional team?"

Sirius spluttered into his tea. Git!

Me: "Oh no - no, I'm not that good. It's just for fun really. We're competing in the Saturday League, though." It felt horrible to be the centre of attention like this. I felt like a performing monkey or like an exhibit in the Museum of Magical Anomalies. (Come, marvel at my idiot sister - strangers frighten her, but she does tricks!)

Lily (with her nose in the air): "James could have played professionally, he had plenty of offers. He was a Chaser..."

Me: "Yes, I actually played in James's last school match."

James looked dejected: "Last ever match..." And he shot a glance over to his wife, but she purposefully looked away.

Remus: "You played for Gyffindor?" He looked at me with an odd, sort of puzzled expression and I could tell he was trying to mentally fit me into the team and the numbers weren't adding up.

Stupid brother openly laughed.

Me: "Hufflepuff"

Sirius: "Gyffindor vs. Hufflepuff. That match was an absolute walk over. What was the score? 500 - 20?"

I could feel myself turning bright pink. It was an awful match, but the score hadn't been that bad. We had lost our usual Seeker to flu, our best Chaser broke her leg in the first five minutes and I was so nervous I played like an absolute lemon - I let an awful lot of goals in.

James: "I think you're exaggerating somewhat, Sirius. Besides, Hufflepuff had a few injuries for that match."

James knows his Quidditch. He probably remembers every single game he ever played. At school, when he was made Captain in the fifth year, he made a point of finding out about each and every player on the other teams, researching their Quidditch background - how long they'd played, what broom they had, even if they had Quidditch playing siblings. I guess that's when he'd found out his best 'Gyffindor' mate had a little 'Hufflepuff' sister.

Anyway, after that they went back to their secret discussions, but in hushed tones now, so I couldn't hear. Remus didn't seem interested any more, he sat next to me on the sofa by the window and the others didn't seem to be involving Podgy Percy in their little chat so he kept on stuffing his face with biscuits. (Mercifully, the plate kept refilling)

Remus: "So, you were in Hufflepuff?" I got the impression that he had been desperately trying to find something to start a conversation with and this was the best he could come up with. I nodded.

Remus: "I thought it was a big 'Black' family tradition to be in Gryffindor. What happened to you?"

Me: "I don't know*, just one of those things, I guess. I don't like to conform"

*OK - so I do know why, but it was only a little lie. And strictly speaking the second sentence was true so they sort of cancel each other out, don't they?

He was asking loads of questions about me, hobbies, work and friends. I didn't get the chance to ask any questions of my own. When I told him about working in Madam Malkin's he looked really unimpressed. I don't know why I always feel apologetic and embarrassed about being a seamstress. We can't have everyone in the family running around with interesting and exciting jobs now can we?

Me: "I know it's not very interesting. But, it's a good job. And I get a decent discount on robes for the team. That's probably the only reason they let me play..."

Podgy (with a mouthful of crumbs): "Yeah? P'haps you could get Moony a good discount too - he could do with some new robes..."

Remus: "Thanks, Perce..." And he went off to join the others. Obviously a sore point for him, mind you, his robes do look as if they've seen better days.

I wonder why he called him 'Moony'.