Russian Roulette

[Chapter Two: The Potential For Disaster]

(Four months earlier...)

"Hermione... what are you doing here?" Harry spat vehemently at his bushy-haired friend as she walked through the doors of the Leaky Cauldron, swiveling in his chair so he could see her.

"Honestly! What kind of greeting is that? I'm looking for you, of course!" she answered, taking the seat beside Harry at the bar.

"Well, I figured that... but how did you find me?"

"I just asked around. People had seen you around here, so I was able to track you down," she said quietly.

"Haven't you figured out that maybe I didn't want to be tracked down? There are some things a guy has to do on his own," Harry said tersely, eying Hermione warily.

"I know, and I respect that. I'll leave, and I won't come looking for you again, if that's what you want. But first you have to let me say my part," Hermione said, an air of confidence about her, as if she had planned out exactly what she was going to say beforehand (which she probably had, Harry thought).

Harry exhaled slowly, trying to calm his nerves, which currently felt as if they were being shredded against a blunt cheese grater. "Fine," he said coldly, settling back in his chair and clutching his glass of fire whiskey so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

Hermione sighed, relieved that Harry was at least going to hear her out. "Thank you," she said curtly, taking a deep breath before going into her persuasive speech. "Look, I remember what you said last month about... having to stay out of school in order to do what you feel you have to. And I still stand by what I said about going anywhere you have to go with you. It's just that... I'm starting to think that it may not be so wise for you to completely abandon your schooling."

"Hermione, there are some things more important than school!" Harry said angrily, glaring at her.

"I know, Harry, I know!" she continued, starting to get upset. "But I still think..." she paused for a moment, getting her bearings. "I still think that you will be able to do all the things you have to while still staying at school. Even though Dumbledore's... well... gone, Hogwarts is still a very safe place. I know that last year, Malfoy proved that there are still ways to get into the school, but that cabinet has since been destroyed, for very good reason." Hermione paused at this point to gauge Harry's reaction.

He was sort of staring off into space, absent-mindedly swirling the liquid in his glass. "Malfoy..." he said wistfully, "I wonder what's become of him? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I sort of feel bad for him, you know? He kind of... didn't have a choice. It's not fair, Hermione. It's not fair for him... or for any of us, for that matter. We're all thrown into this horrible war... and we have no choice but to take sides. Either that, or we die, and that's not much of a choice at all, is it?"

"No... it isn't," Hermione affirmed, looking concerned at the expression on Harry's face. He looked pretty close to tears, but she knew he would never let himself cry in front of her. "But, I suppose we do have somewhat of a choice. It all comes down to whether or not we take the right side, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed after a short silence, "but still... some of us don't even have that choice. Look at Malfoy, for example. He was practically born with the Dark Mark already burned onto his arm. Didn't even question it..." Harry's voice trailed off bitterly at the thought of his rival.

"Actually, Harry, he did," Hermione said quietly.

Harry looked up at her at this. "What?" he said sharply, furrowing his brow.

"I know this sounds... well, unbelievable, but Malfoy came to Professor McGonagall shortly after school ended, and begged for her to let him join the Order, and keep him from Voldemort. Apparently he felt horrible about what happened in June, and decided to take up Professor Dumbledore's offer. She agreed, of course."

Harry was silent for a few minutes, recalling a few of his many encounters with Malfoy from the previous year. There was that time where he found Malfoy crying in the washroom about his mission... hadn't he said something about not being able to do it? And then, of course, was the moment in which he was supposed to carry through with his orders... and he'd been so close to accepting Dumbledore's offer to allow himself to be hidden from Voldemort. Harry remembered his own surprise at the look on Malfoy's face--the boy didn't seem the type to show any remorse at any of his bad deeds, but he truly looked terrified at the prospect of having to kill another human being.

Up until this point, Harry had been really unsure about his feelings regarding Malfoy. He sure as hell didn't suddenly like the boy--there was just too much that he'd have to forget in order to come to that conclusion. But some of his hatred for the other boy had definitely dissipated since the incident in June; for the first time, Harry was able to see Malfoy as an actual human with actual emotions, instead of a horrible little monster. There's just something about seeing someone cry that humanizes him in your eyes.

But then there was the fact that the Slytherin had departed with Snape after he had done the horrible deed--that was just too incriminating, and Harry couldn't bring himself to look past this fact. But now that Hermione was telling him that Malfoy had changed sides...

Hermione finally broke the silence. "Enough about Malfoy, Harry, this is about you. Do you honestly think you'd be better off taking shots in the dark on your own? Why not come back to Hogwarts? They've decided to re-open, because a lot of parents wrote, saying they feel their children would be safer there. You'd be much better off after learning a bit more magic... then you can go off and do what you have to do. You could even start doing it while you're still there! Nobody's stopping you! And it's not like the Prophesy came with an expiration date--you could wait."

"I don't know, Hermione..." Harry responded weakly. His previous anger and frustration towards the young witch had begun to ebb away, and now he was sort of just thankful for some familiar company. "I told you I need to do this. And nothing that I could possibly learn at Hogwarts would help me against Voldemort."

"You're probably right about that last part, Harry. But... his Horcruxes are another story entirely. I have a feeling that you'll find most of the answers you're looking for within Hogwarts itself. Hogwarts was Voldemort's home... I'm sure he's left traces behind."

"You don't know that," Harry said bitterly.

"You're right, I don't. But I do know that if you go off searching for Horcruxes all year, with little to no companions, that you will go into a depression. Maybe even worse than a depression," Hermione stated grimly, shifting nervously in her seat. "I mean, look at you! You look as if you haven't eaten a proper meal in at least three weeks, and you haven't had a full night's sleep in even longer. Come back to Hogwarts, Harry, where you have friends, and mentors, and lots of sources of information."

"It all comes back to the Library with you, doesn't it?" Harry said tonelessly, once again staring blankly ahead.

"Be serious! At least give yourself time to finish your schooling. Harry, you're growing up faster than anyone should have to. Allow yourself a little fun now and then. It'll lift your spirits, and give you confidence. I don't know how you're going to defeat Voldemort if you have no confidence, or will to live."

Harry took a deep breath, shut his eyes, and opened them again. After yet another long period of silence, he finally looked up and met Hermione's eyes. "Alright, you win. I'll go back. But you have to swear that you won't stop me from doing what I have to do while I'm there."

Hermione gave him a broad grin and threw her arms around his neck. Harry smiled into her hair and caressed the small of her back with one of his own hands. "You have no idea how relieved I am," she muttered, and he could tell that she was holding back tears, "I was so worried about you--Ron too. We were afraid that you'd gone off and done something really stupid."

"Me? Do something stupid?" Harry said sarcastically, feeling relieved already. "Now, where'd you get that idea?"

[//]

(Present time)

{To know you is to hate you,

So loving you must be like suicide...}

It had been a week since the fateful party, and it was already all over the school that Harry Potter was dating Draco Malfoy. At first, the two had tried to keep the true nature of their relationship a secret, but because of that damnable Potion coursing through their veins, they always managed to do something incriminating at the exact wrong moment (such as hold hands, or kiss). The reactions of the other students varied--some were charmed, and thought the idea of the two having feelings for each other was adorable. Others weren't so keen on the idea, but didn't really make a big deal out of it. Harry was just thankful that there weren't too many people in the school who had bad cases of homophobia, because had there been, he was certain that he and Draco would be subject to quite a few taunts, if not violent acts. However, Harry considered himself lucky; especially because Ron had taken it far better than he could have ever have hoped for.

Harry's number one fear had been that Ron would be angry that Harry had dumped his sister for Malfoy, but Ron was actually pleased. "Oh, come on, Harry," Ron had said good-naturedly when Harry told him what happened with Ginny, and his concerns. "Did you really think I was jumping for joy at the knowledge that you were dating my sister? It's kind of creepy having your best friend go out with your sister..."

Harry sighed in relief. "Thanks Ron, I was certain you'd be cross with me for at least a week." They both chuckled as Ron shook his head.

"Nah, I think we've had enough stupid fights."

"Right you are. But what about... Draco?" Harry asked nervously, drawing his eyebrows together and taking a defensive stance as he awaited Ron's answer.

"What about him? I'm not exactly thrilled about the whole thing. I mean, he's Malfoy, after all, but... you can't exactly help it, can you? We played that game, and unfortunately, you're the one having to pay for it."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Harry had said, but he couldn't continue the conversation further, for Draco had just walked over, and was currently tugging on his arm.

Yes, things were going well enough for the two of them. Harry actually didn't expect to be having this much fun with a relationship that was supposedly not based on any real emotions. In fact, this was the most fun Harry had ever had, when it came to dating someone. There was something about being with somebody of the same gender that made you a lot more relaxed around them. Harry found that when he was around girls, he often did not know what to say to them, in fear of insulting them and invoking their wrath. However, when he would have a conversation with Draco, he knew exactly what his limits were, as they were around the same as his own. This probably also had something to do with the fact that he and Draco had fought so much in the past--Harry never realized it, but he had gotten to know the other boy quite well from their past fights, and was really comfortable in his presence at the time being.

Not to say that they didn't have their squabbles--they had quite a few of those. Harry guessed that it was just in their nature to clash; they were such polar opposites, yet when in the right mindset, they got on quite well.

They were getting along so well, that even the teachers were noticing. When it came time to choose partners in Potions, Professor Slughorn looked at Harry suspiciously when he carried his stuff over to Draco's cauldron. Slughorn soon approached Harry and Draco, his walrus-like mustache quivering in confusion.

"Harry m'boy," he said in greeting, "would you mind explaining to me this... unlikely choice in partners? I hope you don't mind my saying that you and Mr. Malfoy don't usually get along too agreeably, and I'm not sure if working with him would be such a great idea."

"Oh, it's no problem, sir," Harry said dismissively, "Ron and Hermione are working together, and me and Draco have been getting along better lately."

"Good to hear," Slughorn said, an edge of suspicion in his voice. He then waddled away to inspect another pair's work. Harry turned to Draco and rolled his eyes, but soon realized that Draco was far from amused.

"That old bastard!" Draco proclaimed. "He was just talking about me as if I weren't there! I'm in his house, he's supposed to like me! The audacity!"

Harry rolled his eyes again, this time at Draco's upset, and continued chopping his beetles with an amused smile on his face. He found Draco's remarks quite endearing lately, and he couldn't quite place why.

Anyway, a typical day for Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy started out in the Great Hall, as most typical days do. Draco would be the first to come in, and he would promptly sit down at the Slytherin table, and just as promptly direct his gaze to the Gryffindor one, in search of a certain someone. Upon realizing that said certain someone was not yet present, Draco would then turn his attention to the huge double doors of the Great Hall, awaiting his entrance.

Harry would stumble in late with a look of confusion on his face, and his hair extremely ruffled. Draco would narrow his eyes at the appearance of him, and quickly wonder to himself why he bothered with the sloppy boy. But then, Harry would look at Draco and give him a brief smile, and Draco would return it discreetly, now remembering why it was that he bothered.

Harry would sit down, and begin to eat, and Draco would watch him the whole time, not touching his own food. Harry would occasionally look up from what he was doing in order to cast a compulsive look in Draco's direction, as if to assure himself that the boy was, indeed, still there. On these occasions, Draco would look back down at his plate just in time, so Harry wouldn't realize that he had been examining him. This would continue throughout the meal, until the bell rang.

Then, Harry would slowly get up from the Gryffindor table, and equally slowly make his way to the exit of the Great Hall, every once in a while casting a look over his shoulder to see how far Draco had progressed.

If Harry reached the door before Draco got there, he would wait until the other boy caught up, and they would, without exchanging a word, walk out of the Hall next to one another. Once the crowd thinned and they were alone, or almost alone, Harry would turn to Draco and give him a bright smile, which Draco would try hard to resist returning, at the stake of his reputation. Harry would greet Draco warmly; as if it had been the first time they saw one another all day, even though it wasn't. Draco would return the greeting, but in a slightly less warm manner (again, the reputation). Draco would continue to call Harry by his last name, and Harry would continuously remind him not to, only to have Draco ignore him.

If they had different classes, Harry would walk Draco to his class, even if it meant being late for his own. At the door, as they were saying goodbye and just before Harry walked away, Draco would grab a hold of Harry's hand, and they would exchange a quick kiss, before Harry made his way off to his own class, now trying to hide quite a goofy smile.

If they had the same class, however, they would walk there together, and try to get seats next to one another. The teacher of whatever class they had would always cast them a bewildered look before starting the lesson of the day, and an even more bewildered look at the end of class when they walked out side by side, making friendly conversation.

They would continue this for the rest of the day, never once making plans or discussing what they were doing. It was just instinct; Harry would go, and Draco would follow, or vice versa.

Lunch would be very much like breakfast; with Draco watching Harry, and Harry making sure Draco wasn't going anywhere without him. However, the difference was that they would always try hard to finish lunch early in order to go somewhere together before the start of their next class where they could talk, or kiss, depending upon what kind of mood they were in.

At the end of the day, after dinner, they would go to the Library or some other quiet place, and either have a whispered conversation, do their homework in companionable silence, or just sit there and exchange meaningful glances at one another while they tried to do their homework. When it got late, they would rise from where they sat without discussion, and Harry would walk Draco down to the dungeons (and kiss him goodnight, of course) before making his own way up to Gryffindor Tower on the seventh floor.

Harry was quite content with his relationship with Draco so far--he found that it was much easier to get along with him when they were alone; away from people whose opinion Draco cared about. That way, Draco wouldn't let them sway his behavior. Not only that, but the two of them had managed to get to know each other quite a bit better from all the time they were spending in one another's company. Harry found himself wondering sadly why he had been so pig-headed; if he hadn't, he and Draco could have settled their differences, and they might have started this a long time ago!

But then Harry would remember the Love Potion, and the thought would cause a sickening chill to course through his stomach. If he had indeed taken it, this would all be gone in a little under two months, and he'd have absolutely nothing to show for it. He couldn't help thinking that he'd miss this relationship terribly when it came to its inevitable end.

But then there was another thought that sickened Harry even more; what if he hadn't, in fact, taken the Potion, and Draco had? After the two months ended, Draco would be left with no feelings for Harry, and Harry would still....

But Harry tried not to think about that. In order to help himself stop thinking about it, he took the calendar next to his bed off the wall, turning two months ahead, to February. On the box marked the third (exactly two months after the game), he used his wand to make a red dot appear that would start to flash a week in advance. This eased Harry's mind slightly, as now at least he knew that he wouldn't forget about the day the Potion wore off. Until then, he'd just try to have fun, and not think about the Potion.

But that wasn't the only problem the Potion was causing him. Harry kept feeling little naggings in the back of his mind every time he came within close proximity of Draco, making him want to go farther than just brief kissing (this is, of course, assuming that Harry had taken the Potion, and it wasn't just his hormones going crazy). But Harry was certain Draco wasn't ready for going any farther yet, and he didn't want to scare the other boy away. He was still getting used to the idea himself, and although his body wanted him to take the next step, he wasn't sure if he was mentally prepared for it.

However, contrary to Harry's belief, Draco was just as ready for the next step as he. Draco found himself extremely frustrated every time he left Harry after they kissed, for they hadn't even gotten very far kissing-wise. The farthest they had gotten, in fact, was at the party, and Draco didn't even remember that. Now, their kisses would last all of five seconds, and just as Draco got up the nerve to try and sneak some tongue in, Harry would pull away. Draco thought this meant that Harry wasn't ready for that, but in reality Harry didn't even notice Draco's attempts.

Not only that, but they were hardly spending enough time together for Draco's liking. It's not like they had much of a choice--classes kept them busy during the day, and at night they had loads of homework to get through, as the teachers were piling it high in preparation for NEWTs. A few times, Draco was tempted to try and get into the Gryffindor common room, but he wasn't so sure if he'd be welcomed there, and he felt funny asking Harry if he could come in. They were getting more comfortable with one another, but Draco still wasn't sure where his boundaries were as far as how close he was allowed to get (both literally and figuratively).

The truth was, there were a lot of misunderstandings passing between the two. For example, every once and a while, Draco would say something suggestive, and Harry would blush and turn away. Draco perceived this as Harry being embarrassed at the innuendo, and would immediately stop saying whatever it was he had been saying. However, in reality, Harry had blushed because the idea of what Draco was suggesting was quickly turning him on, and he turned away to hide that fact from Draco.

It was only a matter of time before Draco couldn't take it anymore, and voiced his frustrations to Harry... well, at least some of his frustrations.

[//]

"Potter... we need to talk."

Draco's determined voice broke through the silence of the peaceful Library, making Harry look up from the star chart he had been working on. He started slightly upon seeing the grim look on Draco's face and immediately set down his quill, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, as he knit his brow and narrowed his eyes behind his glasses. Draco didn't move, still leaning on the desk with his elbows, a deadly serious look set into his sharp features.

"About what?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer, but stalling.

"Us," Draco said shortly, his expression not faltering in the slightest.

Harry heaved a long-suffering sigh. "We've only been together a little over a week, and you've already got a problem with me? Please don't tell me you're breaking up with me..." Harry tried to maintain his composure, but he knew (or at least he thought he knew) that the words "we have to talk" could never be followed by good news. Draco was unhappy about something Harry did, obviously.

"No, Potter, I'm not breaking up with you," Draco said, sounding slightly flattered that Harry had been so upset at the prospect of him doing that. "We've just gone so long without actually talking that I thought I should force you."

"What do you mean 'we've gone so long without talking'? We talk every day! We have great conversations!"

"Why are you stalling?" Draco said impatiently, now crossing his own arms. "You know what I mean. Sure, we have nice conversations, but about meaningless things like Quidditch and our friends. I think we need to talk about what's going on here," Draco said, motioning between himself and Harry.

"I didn't think there was anything to talk about," Harry said honestly, "Why? Did I do something to upset you?"

"No... it's more like what you're not doing," Draco said quietly, but loud enough for Harry to hear.

Harry's eyes widened. "Are you...?" but he stopped himself from finishing his sentence, instead asking for Draco to explain himself.

Now it was Draco's turn to sigh. "Listen, Potter. This... thing can't go on forever, as we've already determined, and frankly, I'm not looking forward to the time when it ends. I think we should try to make the best of the time we have together, and spending said time in the fucking Library, doing our homework, is hardly a good use of our time, in my opinion."

"What do you suggest?" Harry said, his voice taking on a defensive tone. "Hiding out in the boy's washroom instead, and staying up until two o'clock in the morning doing our homework?"

"Actually, that sounds like a really good idea to me right about now," Draco said, starting to gather his books and getting out of the chair he had been sitting in.

"What?" said Harry incredulously, but gathering his own books nonetheless.

"Well, we don't exactly have any better place to meet, do we? This school isn't very accommodating when it comes to inter-house relationships," Draco said, now straightening up and brushing his blond hair out of his eyes impatiently. "I feel bad for the heterosexuals, they can't even meet in the bathrooms!"

"Good point," Harry said thoughtfully. "Wait a minute... have you used this strategy before?"

"No, I never had the need to!" Draco said, bristling.

"Oh, why is that?" Harry said, slightly amused.

"Because I've only dated Slytherins until now! We've got a perfectly good common room for that sort of thing!" Draco answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Harry rolled his eyes and followed Draco out of the Library.

Harry was following Draco through the hallways at a leisurely pace--that is, until Draco grabbed a hold of his hand and yanked, causing him to stumble forward slightly.

"What the bloody blazes was that for?" Harry snapped once he regained his balance.

"You're walking too slow!" Draco said briskly, now dragging Harry along at a much faster pace.

"Why are you so eager? We're just going to the bathroom!" Harry said, still annoyed.

"Are you stupid, Potter?" Draco asked, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Er... no, why?"

"Don't you have any idea why I'm taking you to the bathroom? If we were going in there to do our homework, we could have just stayed in the Library!" Draco said incredulously.

Harry flushed red as he realized that his wish was most likely going to come true, and very soon, at that.

Soon, Harry saw that they were nearing the washrooms. Draco quickly walked up to the door that said "boys" on it, and pushed it open hastily, holding the door for Harry as he stepped inside. At first glance, there appeared to be nobody inside it, which was not unusual since it was after dinner, and most people were in their common rooms. Draco then progressed further into the washroom, checking under the stalls to make sure that they were indeed alone. Once that fact was verified, Draco strolled across the room to where the sinks were, and hoisted himself up to sit on a ledge protruding from the wall. Harry just sort of stood across the room from him, watching him awkwardly, his school bag still dangling off his right shoulder.

"What are you just standing there for?" Draco snarled. "You're useless over there, get over here!"

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, inhaled slowly, and walked uneasily towards where Draco sat. He dropped his schoolbag in the corner under the sink, and stood in front of Draco, looking up at him expectantly.

Draco stared back, seemingly thinking about something. When over a minute passed and neither of them said a word, Harry shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot and broke the silence, saying, "Now what?"

That seemed to snap Draco out of his thoughts, for he reached down and grabbed Harry's shoulders, pulling him closer so that his knees were pressing into Harry's stomach slightly. Harry gasped nervously, wanting to look away from Draco's intense stare, but not letting himself.

Without breaking his gaze, Draco reached down and took Harry's hands, threading his own fingers with Harry's. Harry didn't react to this new development, but merely kept staring into Draco's eyes. When Draco began to slowly lean down to kiss Harry, he almost let him, but at the last minute pulled away slightly, and said, "But what if somebody comes in? They'll get freaked out, and--"

"Shhh," Draco said, cutting him off, "who cares? So what if they do? It's not like people haven't seen us kissing before."

Harry blushed. "Well..." Harry couldn't think of another reason why he wouldn't let Draco kiss him, and Draco obviously realized this, because he smiled smugly and leaned down again, this time successfully kissing Harry.

Draco let his hands untangle themselves from Harry's, instead cupping Harry's chin in them. Harry, in turn, rested his own hands on Draco's thighs, as they were at the right level for him to do so. Draco slowly closed his eyes, savoring this moment that he'd been waiting for all day, and he was just about to go that next step and open his mouth when--

"Harry, are you in here? You said you'd be back by nine, and now it's--" Ron froze in the doorway when he saw the compromising position he had found his best friend in.

Harry had hastily broken the kiss he and Draco had been sharing, whipping his head around at the sound of Ron's voice. However, it was too late, and Ron had seen. Harry flushed in embarrassment, taking his hands off Draco's thighs.

"EW! Okay, I don't want to know what you two were doing! I'll just go now, see you later, mate!" And with that, Ron turned on his heel and all but ran out of the room.

"Ron, wait! I'm sorry, it's just--"

"Potter, shut up!" Draco snapped, causing Harry to turn his attention back to the blond.

"But I think he's upset! I'll just go--"

"No, you won't. He's not upset; he just doesn't like seeing boys kiss. Especially you and I, I'd say. I'm not about to let that prat get in the way of what we were doing."

Harry frowned. "Fine, but don't you think the bathroom's a bit public to be making out in?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Oh please, Potter, you didn't even let me get that far."

"WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT?" Harry bellowed, not able to take Draco's use of his last name anymore.

Draco scowled. "We're not on first name basis until I can get my tongue in your mouth. You've made me wait long enough."

Harry thought for a moment, and then spoke up in a rare moment of confidence. "Seems fair to me." And with that, Harry grabbed Draco's arms, hoisting him down from the ledge bodily, only to shove him back up against it the instant his feet hit the floor. Draco's eyes immediately shot open all the way at the abrupt contact, not expecting Harry to be that aggressive.

But that was nothing, because a moment later, Harry had tilted his head to the side and was now pressing his lips to Draco's in a more insistent manner than ever (or at least that Draco could remember). Soon, he had opened his mouth, and his tongue was invading Draco's mouth with fervor, making Draco shudder with need. Draco's hands shot up to Harry's chest, running his fingers up and down his sides as the kiss continued. Harry, meanwhile, let his hands fall down to rest on Draco's hips lightly, beginning to feel up his backside when he was feeling particularly brave. Draco gasped into Harry's mouth at the surprising contact, which just made Harry kiss him harder.

This lasted several minutes, and just when Harry was starting to warm up to the idea of kissing Draco forever, Draco pulled away slowly, and gently pushed Harry back a little so he could see him. They smiled at each other lazily for a moment or two, and then they were kissing again, just as enthusiastically as before.

"Well, Harry," Draco emphasized once the kiss broke, trying to suppress an undignified grin that was trying to surface on his pale face. "It's getting kind of late. Shall we?" Draco walked to the door, holding it open and ushering Harry through with a great sweeping motion. "After you."

Harry inclined his head slightly once he walked through. "Why, thank you." He, too, was trying to hold back a silly smile.

Before Draco could protest, Harry had grabbed his left hand with his own right one, and laced their fingers together. Once he had done this, he looked up at Draco to see if he was going to object. At first, he looked a little uneasy, but then just smiled feebly and started walking, leading Harry by his hand up to Gryffindor Tower, where they kissed goodnight and parted ways.

[//]

It was a little after ten o'clock, and Harry tentatively walked into the Gryffindor common room after whispering the password to the Fat Lady, who had been nodding off in her portrait. Once he crossed the threshold, Ron and Hermione were alerted, and their heads snapped up.

"Finally, you're back," Hermione said sternly, moving over on the sofa to make room for Harry, "we were starting to wonder if you were ever going to return."

Harry looked at Ron guiltily, who flushed red at the memory of where he found Harry. "I'm sorry," Harry said quietly, "I didn't mean to make you worry."

"No problem, mate," Ron said, and Harry was surprised at how well he was taking the whole thing.

"No, I think there is a problem," said Hermione stoutly.

Harry swallowed nervously, closing his eyes and steeling himself for the lecture. "And what would that be?" he asked.

Hermione sighed, resting one of her hands on his arm. She seemed to be fighting an internal battle; should she say it, or should she leave him alone? Harry watched the emotions play across her face, and finally settle into place. Harry knew she had decided to say whatever it was she had been planning to say.

"Harry, are you a virgin?"

Harry just stared at her as his jaw dropped open in shock, quite unattractively I might add. He didn't think Hermione was capable of thinking such thoughts, let alone actually voicing them. Harry gaped at her for a few more moments, his mouth now opening and closing as he floundered for words. "Yes! Wait--no! Why's it matter to you?" Harry said in a rush, as if he couldn't quite make up his mind about which bit to say first.

Hermione just continued to look at him calmly, or as calm as she could look when Harry was staring at her as if she had grown two (severely disfigured) extra heads. "Just answer the question, Harry," she said evenly. "We can go talk about this elsewhere if you don't want anyone else to hear." Ron glared at her angrily, as he was clearly included in 'anyone else.'

"Right," Harry answered after a moment, quickly recovering from the initial shock of realizing what they were going to talk about. "Yes, why don't we go up to the boys' dorm?" He immediately got up, and started walking up the stairs, closely followed by Hermione. Ron made an indignant noise from where he sat on the couch, and Harry turned around in surprise. "Oh, I suppose you can come, too, Ron. I just didn't want the whole common room to listen to this..."

Ron smiled gratefully (although if Harry's answer to the question really had been "no," he wasn't sure he wanted to know) and ran to catch up with Harry and Hermione as they ascended the stairs.

Once they had gotten into the boys' dorm, closed the door behind them, and taken seats, Hermione turned to Harry and voiced her question again. When Harry was still reluctant to answer her, she burst out with, "Honestly, Harry! I'm not trying to embarrass you; I just need to talk to you about something! It's for your own good!"

Harry stared at his feet, and said quietly, "Yes, I am." Even though his head was cast downwards, Hermione didn't miss the red tinge to his cheeks.

"Harry, that's nothing to be embarrassed about," Hermione said comfortingly, yet trying not to patronize him. "From your reaction, I thought you were going to say no."

"Anyway," Harry said pointedly, clearly wanting to get off the subject, "what were you going to talk to me about, and what did... that have to do with it?"

"Right," Hermione said grimly, getting up from her seat on Ron's bed and moving to sit next to Harry on his own. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, since you're clearly having a good time with Malfoy and all, but I'm not sure how wise it would be for you to get too... intimate with him."

Harry's blush promptly deepened, and he heard Ron make a distinct grossed-out sound from where he sat across from Harry and Hermione. "Um, why are you bringing this up now?" Harry asked quietly, still not looking up.

"Because, it's obvious to anyone who pays enough attention that your relationship with Malfoy is quickly progressing, and you most likely had a breakthrough today," she said unabashedly.

Ron snorted knowingly, but remained silent for Harry's sake. "Well... yes," Harry started tentatively, "but we're nowhere near that yet..."

"Harry, you'd be surprised how fast something can develop when teenaged boys are involved," Hermione said bluntly. "I just wanted to make sure I caught you before it was too late."

"Why, though?" Harry said, although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer. He had done a lot of thinking on the subject himself, and had come to the conclusion that he really shouldn't go too far with Draco.

"Isn't it obvious?" Hermione said sadly, biting her lip. "The person you lose your virginity to should be someone who you really care about, and they should care about you. If you were to go that far with Draco, when the Potion wore off, you'd probably be full of regret, or even if you weren't, you'd wind up being hurt because he wouldn't care about you in that way anymore. You're playing with fire, Harry, and someone's bound to get burned. I'm just trying to make sure that someone isn't you."

"I appreciate the sentiment," Harry said, "but I'd prefer if you'd stay out of my personal choices. You've already convinced me to come back to Hogwarts so I could 'have some fun,' as I think you put it, and now you're trying to discourage me from that, too!" Harry said bitterly. He loved Hermione dearly, but sometimes she was such a control freak.

"I understand," she said, unaffected by his words, almost as if she had anticipated them. "I just wanted to bring this to your attention, because I hate to see you upset. I know I can't tell you what to do, and I don't intend to. I'm just advising you not to get too attached to Malfoy, because Merlin knows he won't be there for you forever."

Harry smiled, albeit grudgingly. "Alright, I'll keep that in mind. I just don't like you bossing me around."

"Again, I understand, and I'm glad you at least heard me out. I said that mostly for my own benefit, because I couldn't have you on my conscious like that." She then leaned over to kiss Harry goodnight on his cheek, repeated the action for Ron, and left the room.

The two boys sat there in silence for a moment before Ron spoke up. "She's got a point, mate. You know how much of a bastard Malfoy can be when he's not under the influence of that Potion... I think you should watch your back," he said, in the most concerned voice he could muster. Harry had to give him credit for speaking up, because he had seen how pissed Harry could get when people tried to tell him what to do. But somehow, the fact that Ron wasn't just telling him not to go far with Draco because the thought grossed him out, but because he actually cared about Harry's feelings, made it impossible for Harry to be cross wit him.

"I know. Thanks, Ron," Harry said sincerely.

"No problem. But seriously... you didn't shag Malfoy... did you?"

"No! I said I didn't, and I was telling the truth," Harry said, smirking despite himself.

Again, Harry had thought of this before Hermione had even said anything. Although he was disappointed at the time, Harry was now more relieved than he cared to admit that he and Draco hadn't actually done anything that first night. He knew it would be awfully hard for the two of them to accept what they had done two months after the fact, when the Potion wore off. Or even worse, if it wore off for Draco, but not Harry, because maybe he didn't take it in the first place...

Harry shuddered at the thought. He quickly pushed it out of his mind, reminding himself that he had promised he wouldn't think about that until the time came.

Ron was now getting ready for bed, so Harry decided to do the same, figuring it would do him some good to sleep on the whole thing. Soon, he was lying on his back in his bed, with his eyes closed; his body was still, but his mind was whirring.

[//]

The next day was Thursday, and Harry had quite a lot of work to catch up on because of the unfortunate snogging episode the day before. Still feeling awkward about his whole situation, Harry avoided Draco like the plague. During breakfast, Harry refused to look at him. When they had classes together, Harry was conveniently talking to Ron and Hermione whenever Draco tried to catch his attention. During lunch, Harry finished in five minutes, and rushed out of the room before Draco could corner him. Finally, at dinner, Draco managed to get a hold on Harry, so he could interrogate him.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" he said bluntly, as soon as he had finished dragging Harry out of the Great Hall. "And don't say you weren't, because that's what everyone says after being asked that question."

Harry closed his mouth--he had been about to say that. "Fine. I just had some work to catch up on, all right? You tend to distract me from my studies."

"That can't be the only reason! You could have just told me that, and I would have left you alone."

Draco was right; it wasn't the only reason. Harry had been thinking about what Hermione had said, and what he himself had been thinking on the subject of how fast his and Draco's relationship seemed to be progressing. Harry was very inexperienced, and although to some people it may not look like they had gotten far at all, but to Harry this was moving so fast that he was afraid he'd get caught up in it. He was even starting to have doubts about the whole thing, rushing aside. He really didn't relish the idea of what would happen in two months, and he felt as if his decision to accept Draco's offer might have been a bit brash.

Harry was silent for a long time as he mulled all this over, and tried to decide whether or not to share this all with Draco. Draco's impatient clearing of his throat, however, rapidly brought Harry back to Earth.

"Hm? Oh," he said, a bit disoriented.

"Are you okay?" Draco said suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at Harry's pained expression.

"Yeah, I'm all right. It's just that you and I have been... progressing quickly, and I needed some time to think about it without you... er... distracting me." Harry winced; he wasn't sure of how Draco would take this.

Draco's eyes narrowed. "Is this about what happened last night? Do you not want me to kiss you anymore?" Harry quickly noticed that Draco was becoming livid at the thought. "Why did you agree to this if you were going to back out at the first sign of something exciting? I thought you'd be willing to have some fun, Potter."

"I do want to have fun," Harry retorted, "and what happened last night was fine by me. But I think we should... you know... draw the line somewhere before it gets out of hand."

When comprehension dawned, Draco smiled in an infuriating manner (in Harry's opinion). "This is about sex, isn't it?" he said smugly, keeping his obnoxious smile plastered on his face.

Harry made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, which just made Draco smile wider. "Why are you so amused?" Harry spat, Draco's look making him uncomfortable.

"Potter, you're a seventeen-year-old boy. You're supposed to be begging me to have sex with you, not panicking at the thought that we might get anywhere close to it."

"Yeah, well, I think these circumstances are unusual, don't you?" Harry said, trying in vain to suppress a blush. "Besides, I wasn't the one--" Harry had been about to bring up the fact that Draco had been the one to panic when they had been drunk, but decided to withhold that particular bit of information for later use, as he figured it'd be good blackmail.

"You weren't the one...?" Draco questioned, frowning at Harry suspiciously.

"Er, nothing," Harry said quickly. Draco didn't buy his excuse, but plowed on anyway.

"What makes these circumstances so unusual? We're in a relationship. That is what people in relationships do."

"But we're not in a real relationship," Harry countered.

"It seems pretty real to me," Draco said, prodding Harry as if to make sure he was solid. "See?"

Harry snorted out of amusement. Draco could be pretty funny when he wasn't insulting anyone. "You know that's not what I meant," Harry said, serious suddenly as he stopped his rapidly drifting thoughts and recalled what they had been talking about.

Draco sighed impatiently. "Potter..." Draco started, but Harry cut him off before he could continue.

"Back to 'Potter' already, is it?" he said bitterly, crossing his arms and shooting Draco a glare, intent on reminding him of yesterday's promise.

"Yes, well, I think I have every right, since you've been avoiding me," Draco said stubbornly. "And you're going to run away every time I touch you, now."

"I'm not going to run away every time you touch me, Malfoy," Harry said, starting to get irritated with Draco's attitude.

Draco got a decidedly evil look on his face, and promptly grabbed Harry in a very inappropriate place, making Harry yelp in a very undignified fashion and jump backwards. "See?" Draco said pointedly, gesturing to Harry, who was now several feet away and sporting a deep blush.

"In all fairness, that was very unexpected," Harry said angrily, raking a hand through his hair as a nervous gesture. Draco rolled his eyes, not accepting Harry's excuse.

"Anyway, it's sounding like you're going to start blathering on about 'true love' and how people shouldn't do anything with one another until they're sure the person is 'the one' and all that goody-goody Gryffindor shit. Just because your friends are about as experienced as twelve-year-olds doesn't mean you have to be," Draco said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"That's not my point, Malfoy," Harry said, getting more and more frustrated by the second. "I don't have to put up with your bullshit, you know," he continued, his anger now apparent. "I could dump you right now, and not feel the least bit of remorse, because you can be a real bastard sometimes. There are some things I still haven't gotten over, and you acting like this isn't doing much to ease the feeling, if you know what I mean."

Draco sighed; it seemed as if this was becoming a new habit of his. "Circumstances are different now, Potter. I'm not going to screw you over."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Harry said. "Circumstances are different. Things between us can never be normal, whatever that is. I don't think they ever will be. And how can you confidently say that you won't screw me over? You could very well screw me over, after this whole thing is over with! That's why I don't want to go too far with you!"

"Why do you think I'm going to mess with you? I'm not!" Draco said, a little louder than necessary, throwing his arms up in the air out of exasperation. Gryffindors, honestly...

"Because this whole thing--you and me, it's fake!" Harry all but yelled, gesturing between himself and Draco. "I'm having second thoughts about this whole thing. It seems stupid to go about this when we know it's inevitably going to end!"

"It's just about having fun!" Draco said, for what felt like the millionth time.

"Well, maybe, but I don't want to have to live with the knowledge that I lost my virginity to someone who only cared about me for two months, and then basically went back to how he was before the whole episode!"

Draco sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, desperately trying to be patient. "Potter, I still don't see why that matters. All boys are age are desperately trying to get laid, and what does it matter with us if the attraction is purely physical?"

Harry stared at him in complete disbelief. "I can't believe you just said that," he said, too shocked to even sound hurt. "You can't possibly deny that it's not purely physical! I know it's not for me, at least!"

Draco looked uncertain for a moment. "Alright, fine," he admitted, "I do have some feelings for you, but don't expect a love confession or anything. I may be under the influence of a potion, but it can't possibly mimic love. They just call it that, you know."

Harry seemed satisfied, at least for now. "Glad we're on the same page here. I must admit that I was worried for a moment. And I know you don't really love me. It's such an easy thing to say, but meaning it is another thing entirely. Anyway, can't you see why this would end in disaster?"

Draco nodded reluctantly. "I suppose you do have a point. But let's just see how things go, all right? I can't believe it's been barely over a week, and we've already discussed this."

"At least it's out of the way," Harry muttered grudgingly.

Draco ignored him. "Just for the record, I wasn't planning on rushing you into anything. I myself am not exactly ready for that quite yet. I was just a bit unnerved that you are going to completely deny me any action."

"I didn't say that," Harry said, shocked that Draco thought he was going to be a complete prude. "Just... you know..."

"Honestly, you sound like a pathetic fourteen-year-old girl, you can't even say it!" Draco remarked sharply, rolling his eyes.

"I'm just a bit uncomfortable!" Harry shot back, insulted.

"Right," Draco said, dismissing the side tracking they had done, but slightly happier with the knowledge that Harry wasn't going to run away every time he attempted something. He'd just have to wait awhile, until they got more comfortable with one another. "Anyway, let's just let things happen, and when we get there, we'll see what we're going to do about it. Who knows? By then we might... feel differently." Draco winced as he realized he was getting sentimental.

Harry didn't notice his lapse of bad attitude, but smiled shyly. "Good to hear you understand," he said quietly, stepping closer to Draco subtly. His movement wasn't lost to Draco, however, who mimicked his action, bringing them only inches apart. Harry smiled and placed his hands on Draco's slim waist, pulling him even closer, and beginning to lean down. Draco felt relief flood him as it hit him that he and Harry had just survived their first real fight as a couple. He quickly tilted his head up, and let Harry meet his lips in a gentle kiss.

When they broke apart, Draco smiled at Harry, his eyes sparkling happily. Harry didn't quite know why, but the expression on his face sent a sharp stab to somewhere in his stomach region, but it somehow felt really good. Draco stepped away slightly, and allowed his hand to brush against Harry's. Harry took his prompt, and gently took Draco's hand, lacing their fingers together.

They had been just about to kiss again, when suddenly dinner was over, and everybody was streaming out of the Great Hall into the corridor Harry and Draco were in. Draco turned to Harry, a small (yet pleased) smile still on his face. "Let's go to the bathroom," he said, smirking mischievously.

"But I don't need to," Harry protested. He could be horribly slow sometimes.

Draco rolled his eyes disbelievingly; endlessly amused that Harry didn't get his implications. "Oh believe me, you will when we get there..."

[//]

The next couple of weeks passed similarly, the two of them stealing moments together whenever they got the chance to. However, Harry noticed that Draco was beginning to get somewhat distant with him, as he had been right before the whole bathroom episode. Harry was having a lot of trouble reading Draco, and it unnerved him spectacularly. While Harry could most of the time determine what he was feeling for fairly certain, Draco looked conflicted whenever he and Harry would talk to one another. It seemed as if Draco were struggling against his better reasoning, which was telling him that he really shouldn't be associating with Harry like this. He seemed to be successfully ignoring this instinct, though, and for that Harry was infinitely grateful.

If Harry had thought that he loved Draco when he took the Potion all those weeks ago, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. He came to realize that in being Draco's rival, he had only seen the worst of the other boy, and in turn, Draco had only seen the worst of him. It turned out that Draco could really be a very sweet person if he was in the right mood, and with the right company. Getting to know this side of his rival made Harry wonder how many other people he had perceived wrongly. Because Draco truly wore a mask when in public, and Harry still couldn't tell if he had completely taken it off, really. To his credit, Draco was quite a good actor, and managed to hide most of his more raw emotions from the people around him, so Harry felt quite flattered when Draco had let Harry see him upset.

It was after dinner, and they were going about their usual routine of sitting around in the Library before they ran off to the bathroom for an impromptu snogging session, which always occurred at different times, depending on their mood. Draco was doing his homework, and Harry was pretending to do his, but really just watching Draco. He had noticed something funny about the other boy over the past few days, and it was something more than the usual distantness he had been exhibiting for a week. After about ten minutes of watching Draco, and seeing the obvious torment on his features, Harry's resistance finally broke and he asked Draco what the matter was.

At first, Draco didn't want to answer him, so he quickly put the "indifferent" mask back on, trying in vain to hide the fact that something was bothering him. Harry had caught on to him by now, so he continued to prod.

"Fine," Draco finally said, his resolve weakening. Harry instantly saw the troubled, weary look make its way back onto his face. "I've been having nightmares lately. Stuff about... things that have happened over the past year. And it's scaring me, because they weren't exactly happy memories. Some of them were downright horrifying."

Harry's heart instantly went out to him, because Harry was no stranger to haunting dreams. "About what?" he asked gently. "What sort of things happened over the past year that upset you so much?"

Draco closed is eyes wearily, and seemed to be thinking for a moment. After a pause, he slowly shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it, especially not now. I've got other things to think about, and so do you, so I think I should just try to get over it, and maybe I'll talk to you about it another time."

Harry was going to protest that talking about it would probably make Draco feel better, if anything, but upon seeing the look on Draco's face, he stopped himself and merely nodded. "Thanks for telling me that much, though," Harry said sincerely, "I've been really worried about you."

"You were?" Harry was shocked to hear the surprise in Draco's voice.

"Of course," Harry said earnestly, "shouldn't I be? You are my boyfriend after all... aren't you?"

Draco smiled weakly. "Yeah, I suppose so." Draco was happier than he had been five minutes ago, despite himself. He knew it shouldn't matter to him that Harry cared, because really, he wasn't supposed to feel that way about Harry. Sure, he could accept the lust, and the fascination, and some of the emotional stuff that went along with it, but to this extent? Damn that Love Potion. The fact that Harry was worrying about him made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and that was most definitely a foreign emotion for Draco.

There was a slightly awkward silence for a few moments, when the two just kind of looked at one another. At the same moment, they both decided to look away, Draco's eyes snapping back down to the text he was reading, and Harry's just staring blankly at a piece of parchment covered in his own handwriting. Draco sneaked a look at Harry after a minute or so, and he immediately knew that Harry wasn't really doing his homework--his eyes weren't moving, but rather looked kind of glassy, as if he were so deep in thought that he had forgotten to blink. Draco smirked to himself and turned back to his book, waiting for Harry to say something.

Harry was really pondering what to do next. He didn't know how he got stuck with the role, but suddenly, Draco was relying on him to take things to the next level, if he wanted to. And he definitely wanted to make some sort of change in their routine, because it was starting to get mundane. The snogging was lots of fun, but honestly; they only got to do it for about a half hour each day, and then they'd have to part and go to their own dormitories. And it was a serious downer to have just been making out with your boyfriend, then having to deal with your friends' questions, then just going to bed. Harry absentmindedly stuck his hand in his pocket, fingering his Invisibility Cloak, which he had taken to carrying around lately, in case he happened to be staying out after curfew. He could... but no, honesty was the best policy. It was an idea for sure, but he didn't know if Draco would go for it.

Finally, Harry looked up from the parchment he had been staring at and looked at Draco. Draco saw this motion in his peripheral vision and smiled inwardly at Harry's predictability, and his ability to predict.

"Draco?" Harry finally called tentatively. Draco immediately looked up, locking his eyes with Harry.

"Yes?" he said expectantly, closing his book, for he was sure he wouldn't be reading it anymore tonight.

"How would you feel about coming to Gryffindor Tower with me? Maybe stay the night?" Harry tried to sound confident, but his inability to meet Draco's gaze gave him away.

Draco was slightly taken aback. He knew Harry was going to try something like this, but he hadn't quite expected an invitation of that nature. Not that he wasn't pleased, because he most certainly was. "How would your friends feel about that?" he asked, instead of answering Harry's question right away.

"Yeah, er, about that. I don't know," he said sheepishly. "But I think they'll probably be okay with it. They obviously know about us--I think everyone must by now. Plus, you'd be doing this eventually anyway, so why not find out now?"

Draco raised a skeptical eyebrow. "All right, but they'd better be nice to me," he whined. However, when he got up and started to gather his books with his back to Harry, an uncontained smile spread across his face.

"You'd better be nice to them," Harry countered, he himself smiling.

Draco shrugged one shoulder noncommittally. "We'll see. Let's go."

Draco had brought most of his books to the Library while Harry only had his schoolbag, so Harry helped him carry his books. Draco tried to suppress a giggle; Harry was being such a stereotypical boyfriend, and it was making him strangely happy. Harry noticed his abrupt change in attitude, and now with much more self-confidence, began to lead Draco to the Gryffindor common room.

[End Of Chapter Two]