I Only Wanted

****

She woke up the next morning at seven o'clock. She cursed her internal alarm clock and rolled out of bed. She was showered and ready by eight.

"Huh, world record," she mused, as she pulled her hair back in a high ponytail.

She headed downstairs and right away noticed Harry sitting in a table off to the side. Away from the chatter of the locals. She gave a small wave to Tom and headed over to Harry's table.

"Mind if I sit down?" she asked, enjoying the fact that she had scared him witless.

"Katie?" he said, looking up at her from his seat, "What are you doing here?"

"Long story. I heard you blew up your aunt," Katie said, sitting across from him.

"Long story," Harry countered smiling.

Katie laughed. "Don't worry, I don't want to know."

Harry happily went back to eating his breakfast between bouts of stories from his summer with the Dursley's. She couldn't imagine living with people that didn't even want you around. The thought swirled around before she realized that she could imagine. Her own parents didn't want her. She shook the thought from her head and forced a smile as Harry told her all about his cousin Dudley. Before she knew it, an hour had flown by, and Harry was looking at her with something like concern in his eyes.

"Are you sure you're ok, Katie?" he asked.

"Fine. Just fine," she said looking out a nearby window, "I really need to go to Gringotts so I can get my supplies for this year. Snape's got some horrid ingredients on the advanced Potions list."

"You take advanced Potions?" Harry asked interestedly.

"Yeah, Snape recommended that I take that this year. I had top marks in my class," she said shrugging, "Potions isn't that hard anyway."

"Well, I'm going to Diagon Alley as well. Can't go anywhere else. Ministry's orders. I still need to finish some essays," he said holding up several bits of parchment.

They walked out into the backyard of The Leaky Cauldron and Harry tapped the appropriate brick to open the entrance. They parted ways at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, and Katie continued on to Gringotts. Leaving with her pockets jingling with Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts, she pulled out her book list for the year. She made her way over to Flourish and Blotts and walked inside. The manager, looking unarguably defeated, came up to her.

"Hogwarts?"

"Yes."

"Electives?" he said, a look of hope on his face.

"Muggle Studies, Arithmancy, and Care of Magical Creatures," Katie said looking at him oddly.

The man sighed. "Stand back."

He approached a cage Katie had only just noticed and proceeded to put thick gloves on. The objects inside the cage seemed to be flying around. She realized, to her surprise, that they appeared to be books. Green books. Biting books. The man opened the cage and snatched one hastily, shutting the cage again. He took a length of rope from the table beside it and tied the book shut as it tried to bite his fingers. Katie watched in awe and blinked as he handed her the book. He sighed once more, looking more professional now.

"Now, let me see your list, so we can get you some normal books."

Katie handed him the list and followed him around the shop as he handed her book after book. She paid him and made her way back to The Leaky Cauldron to drop the books off in her room before attempting to buy anything else. Tom helped her to her room, taking half the books she was carrying. She thanked him and left once more for the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley. She pulled the attached sheet of parchment that Professor Snape had sent her with the list of ingredients. She made her way to the Apothecary, parchment in hand.

"How may I help you today?" a tired wizard asked.

"I'm taking Advanced Potions this year. Here's my list of all the things I'll need," Katie said handing the wizard her list.

"I'll be right back," he said disappearing into the back of the store.

Katie stood at the counter and waited for the man to return. She heard the bell jingle above the door, but couldn't be bothered to see who entered, as the tired wizard re-appeared at the counter. He began to ring up her ingredients, when he stopped and walked around to the front of the counter.

"Master Malfoy. And young Master Draco. I'll just be a moment. And then I'll help you with whatever you need," he said bowing his miserable head.

Katie rolled her eyes at the display. The smug look on Mr. Malfoy's face. The same look duplicated on his son Draco's face. And the tired wizard acting as if they were Gods. Katie turned to face the counter once more, tapping her foot with impatience. The tired wizard scowled at her as he made his way back behind the counter.

"Don't you tap your foot at me, girl."

"Please finish ringing up my things so I can go."

The tired wizard mumbled something as he rang up her things. The word "ungrateful" stood out and Katie scowled at the man. She scooped out the appropriate amount of wizard money and placed it on the counter. She grabbed the bag of ingredients and left the store. Draco sneered at her.

"Bell," he said simply.

"Malfoy," she said in the same tone, walking past him and out of the store.

She walked down Diagon Alley and walked into Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions. She needed to replace her Quidditch robes for the new year. Her old ones had seen better days. As she was being fitted, her mind wandered right back to the fact that her mum was usually here with her. But her mum had never wanted her. Never. Madam Malkin was handing her the robes before she knew it and she scooped out the appropriate amount of money to pay her. As she walked back up Diagon Alley, she noticed a large crowd outside of Quality Quidditch Supplies. She juggled with her robes until she had them draped comfortably over her arm. The crowd was ogling something. Something Katie had to stand on her tiptoes to see. And when she did, she was dumbfounded as well.

The sign read, "Firebolt". It was the new racing broom. A World Cup affiliated racing broom. Ireland had supposedly bought a bunch for their team that year. The sign also read, "Price on request". She didn't even want to think about how much that broom cost. Slightly disappointed, she started to head back toward The Leaky Cauldron, when a voice caught her attention.

"Oy! Katie! Wait up!"

She turned around to see Oliver Wood pushing through the crowd at Quality Quidditch Supplies and jogging up to her.

"Hey Oliver."

"Hey. Did you see it?" he asked, his eyes dancing.

"See what?"

"The Firebolt. Beautiful, eh?" he said turning his head to look at the display once more.

Katie found herself holding back a laugh at his enthusiasm. She had never gotten used to his Quidditch obsession, so to say.

"Yeah. Ruddy expensive though, don't you reckon?"

"Hell. I give up all my gold in Gringotts to play on one. Its fantastic. Speaking of, I've got loads of new strategies for this year."

"No more charts Oliver," Katie moaned.

The charts. Those bloody charts. He had woken the team up before daybreak last year to look at those bloody charts. She swore to destroy them next time.

"Hey! I worked hard on those charts. And its my last year as Captain. My last chance to win the Cup. Besides, I just bought something I think the team will like," he said pulling something out of the bag he was holding.

When he held it up, she had to hand it to him. She liked it already. It was a mini-pitch. With half-foot high goal posts, little stands and everything.

Katie smiled in spite of herself. "Much better. Now we can actually understand what you're talking about."

Oliver looked at her with a hurt expression. "I thought you did understand."

"Oh I did," Katie said quickly, "But you have to spell it out for Fred and George, and I have to speak on behalf of my teammates Ol."

Oliver's face split into a grin. "Brilliant. I'll work on transferring everything to this and have it ready in time for our first practice."

"You do that. See you on the train," Katie said, turning to leave, trying to escape that smile.

"Hey Katie?" Oliver called.

Katie turned. "Yeah?"

"Where's your mum and dad?"

Katie sighed. "I don't want to talk about it Oliver. I'll see you on the train."

And she walked. She walked as fast as her legs would carry her. Inside The Leaky Cauldron, up the stairs, and into her room. She dropped her stuff into her trunk and collapsed onto the bed. She sat up and crawled to the end of her bed. She reached inside her trunk and pulled out her most prized possession. Something that got her through so many hard days at Hogwarts.

A muggle CD player. Only with it a muggle CD holder, filled with so many CD's she had picked up on her many trips to Muggle London. She had a small jar of muggle money that she had transferred from her wizard money some years ago. She flipped to her Mariah Carey CD. A very popular Muggle recording artist, according to the owner of the store she had bought it from. She put it into her CD player, placed the headphones in her ears and pressed play. She skipped to the sixth track, and laid back on her bed.

****

"I Only Wanted"

written by : Mariah Carey & Lionel Cole

Doesn't it ever stay

Must it always fade away

Couldn't love ever be

Something tangible and real

Farewell, fairweather friend

Abandonment returns to taunt me again

I only wanted you to stay

Linger and mean the words you said

Foolishly I romanticized

Someone was saving

my life for the first time

I only wanted you to be there when I

Opened up my eyes

I was caught in your masquerade

Wish I'd stayed beneath my veil

But it just seemed so easy to

Open up myself to you

Once more into the wind

The embers scatter

And the chill settles in

I only wanted you to stay

Linger and mean the words you said

Foolishly I romanticized

Someone was saving

my life for the first time

I only wanted you to be there when I

Opened up my eyes

*guitar solo*

Oh,

I only wanted you to stay

Linger and mean

the words you said

Foolishly I romanticized

Someone was saving

my life for the first time

I only wanted you to be

The one to get me through that night

I only wanted you

To be there when I

Opened up my eyes

Doesn't it ever stay

I only wanted you to stay

****

She wiped at a stray tear that fell from her eye. She sat up and threw her CD player back into her trunk, as the tears fell freely from her eyes. She didn't cry. She didn't sob. She just allowed the unshed tears to fall, silently.

Reaching into her trunk once more, she pulled out a good-size piece of broken mirror. She walked into the bathroom and sat herself on the floor. Pulling up her sleeves, she looked at her arms thoughtfully. There wasn't many open spaces left. She made a conscious decision and pushed the glass into her arm. She pushed until she felt the skin break. Katie closed her eyes as she pulled the glass sharply across her arm. The pain that came with it was excruciating, but Katie didn't notice. She repeated the process on her other arm. She sat there and watched the blood slowly pool, before it ran, in tiny rivers, down her arm and onto her open palm.

Katie found herself falling asleep soon after that. She woke up briefly, realized it was well after midnight, and crawled to her bed. She was asleep, in the clothes she had worn all day, before her head hit the pillow.