Easier To Run

A/N : All the lyrics in this chapter are from Linkin Park's "Breaking The Habit", unless stated otherwise. This is an extended version of my LJ entry.

****

Katie stared at the glass curiously, before picking it and the note up gingerly. She hadn't opened the drawer since the night that she tried to kill herself. She shut the drawer and set the glass down on her bed. She turned the note over in her hands and noticed that her hands were shaking. The handwriting was unfamiliar, but the signature made her blood run cold.

Sweet dreams, Katie.

Paris Wheeler

With tears in her eyes, she tore the parchment into tiny pieces. She fell in a sobbing heap to the cold stone floor. Hekate hooted at her from her cage and more tears flowed from Katie's eyes. 'My day has been bad enough, this is just the perfect ending,' Katie thought, wiping her cheeks angrily.

"I hate my life!" she screamed, and it echoed in the round room.

The tears came full force again as she voiced her afflictions to the empty room.

"I'm marked. I'm probably going to be killed now, because of my coward parents. I hope Voldemort tortures them so badly that they beg for death! And Severus," she said pausing, "I'm sure he hates me now. I was such a bitch earlier! What is wrong with me?" she said slamming her fist on the stone floor beneath her, "He's only trying to help. And I'm wasting his time," she said, looking up at her ceiling, "I'm wasting everyone's time. They try to help, and I push them away. I find things out and now I'm in danger for my life. And I'm endangering Severus' life even more so."

**

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
(Unless I try to start again)

**

She stood shakily on her feet and looked down at the piece of glass lying so innocently on her bedspread. Hekate ruffled her feathers from inside her cage as if understanding Katie's decided posture. Katie ignored the owl and picked up the shard of glass.

"Well, I'll just solve everyone's problem. If I'm gone, there will be no more problems. And by the time they find me, I'll be long past any chance of help."

Taking the shard, she turned and walked into the bathroom adjacent to her bed. She shut the door and locked it. Sitting on the floor, she began to cry again.

"No!" she yelled angrily, "This is right! I'm right!" she said and pushed up her robe sleeves.

She took the shard of glass and made her first cut. The pain was unbearable, and she cried out in pain. She looked at her unmarred arm and made a cut there. That one hurt her worse than the other, and she dropped the shard from her shaking, bloody hands. She looked down at her wrists and the blood pooling there. Her arms were throbbing in pain and her vision became blurry from her tears.

"Why?' Katie whispered, hearing her voice shake as well, "It never hurt before."

**

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
**

Looking down at her hands, her blood-stained hands, she noticed her ring glowing violently. The ring made her think of Oliver. Oh, Oliver!

"I have to heal these," she said grabbing the shard and stumbling to the bathroom door under the immense pain.

She unlocked it with some difficulty and made it to her bed, grabbing her wand from her bedside table. She racked her panicked mind for a spell, and found she knew none. She ran from her dormitory, shoving the glass into her robe pocket. Once in the common room, she decided to go to Madam Pomfrey. But as she exited the common room, she found she didn't want to wake the school nurse. She made her way down into the entrance hall, letting her feet and intuition guide her.

Her mind was only processing pain at the moment, and before she knew it, her feet had taken her to the "door" marking Snape's quarters. Truth be told, it was a door that pretended to be a wall, but Katie knew where she was. She lifted her hand to knock and barely felt her hand touch the "door" before her knees gave out. She knew he wouldn't have heard it, so she pulled her socked foot toward her and kicked out at the "door". Yelping in pain, she pulled her foot back toward her and aimed another kick at the "door". She heard a crack, and knew she had probably just broken one of her toes. So, she switched to her other foot. After two more well aimed kicks, the door opened, revealing a disheveled looking Snape. He took one look at her pained form, before reaching down and lifting her easily. He carried her into his quarters and set her down on a couch in the front room. Katie immediately sat up and grabbed at her right, socked foot. Pulling off the sock, she saw her big toe bent at an unnatural angle and the swelling that had begun. Snape was kneeling beside the couch and automatically muttered a spell that righted her broken bone with a small flash of light. Katie gingerly slipped her sock back on.

"How long were you kicking at my door, Miss. Bell?"

"Not long," she said pausing to sniff and hiccough, "I just kicked too hard."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the shard of glass. She held it out to Snape, who took it, a curious expression on his face.

"Take it. Hide it, destroy it. Something. Paris somehow put it back in my drawer, and I found it," she said, tears blurring her vision as she rolled her robe sleeves, "I couldn't help it. Today was a really bad day," she got out before dissolving into tears.

Snape stood in a swift motion and sat on the edge of the couch before pulling Katie to him.

**

I'll paint it on the walls

Cause I'm the one at fault

I'll never fight again

And this is how it ends

**

He shushed her gently, but Katie's tears kept coming. After a few long moments, Snape pulled away from Katie, and took her arms in his hands. He muttered a healing spell on each of the cuts and Katie watched as they cleared from her arms, along with the blood. He turned over her right arm and noticed Katie's still glowing ring.

"Katie, where did you get this?" he asked softly.

"Oliver. Why is it- Why is it glowing like that?" she said hiccoughing.

"It has a Phoenix Tear in it. I'm surprised Mr. Wood isn't breaking down the doors to the school right now," he mused, giving Katie a genuine smile.

Katie looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. "Why would he?"

"A Phoenix Tear, when imbedded in a piece of jewelry, acts as an indicator if the wearer is in pain or danger."

Katie's eyes widened slightly. So that's what the big deal was! She looked down at the ring once more before clutching her hand to her chest.

"Why are you here, Katie?"

"I don't know. My feet brought me here," she said in a small voice.

"What with your speech earlier and not showing up at dinner, I assumed I wouldn't be seeing you for another few weeks like before," he said, a teasing quality to his words.

Katie sighed. "Severus, I'm sorry. I keep doing that to you. I'm being ungrateful," she said, her voice still small.

"No you're not. You're being a teenager with convictions," he said, reaching out and patting her shoulder, "I know that you're right. It doesn't hurt my feelings any."

Katie blinked a few tears from her eyes and wiped them away quickly.

**

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know its not alright

So I'm

Breaking The Habit

I'm

Breaking The Habit

Tonight

**

"I'm still sorry," she said softly.

"Katie, things will be ok. Don't let days like this get to you. You have to be strong and everything that comes with being a bloody Gryffindor," he said and Katie glowered at him, "That being said, please don't let the current developments make you weak. You may be in danger, but as long you're within these walls, you're protected from anyone who would want to do you harm," he said, but his eyes bellied him.

Katie looked up at him, searching his face for what was really going on. She felt as if she could read his mind. "One of them is coming to Hogwarts, aren't they?" she asked and from the look on Snape's face, she knew he didn't have to ask who.

He nodded reluctantly. "Igor Karkaroff. He ratted out most of the Death Eaters during the trails to keep himself out of Azkaban. He and some of his students are coming to Hogwarts this year. He is the Headmaster at Durmstrang."

"Why is he-"

"I can't tell you that. You'll find out, once term starts, with everyone else," he said curtly, before he turned to Katie, his expression softening, "He's a coward. He won't be able to lay a finger on you without my knowledge."

Katie nodded slightly and before she knew what she was doing, she latched onto Snape, more tears coming to her eyes. "What if He comes back and you have to be a spy again? You'll be found out because of me! I know it! You can't leave me like everyone else!"

**

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm
Breaking the Habit
I'm Breaking the Habit
I'm Breaking the Habit
Tonight

**

She felt Snape wrap his arms around her a try to shush her again. But Katie was beyond help. The fear of someone else being taken from her was overwhelming.

"No one, is going to take me from you. I will die fighting, you can be sure of that," Snape said soothingly and Katie laughed.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she said, her voice coming out muffled.

"Well, I haven't really had much practice at being sympathetic toward another person. I'm better at being honest," he said smiling down at her.

Katie pulled away from him and laughed again, while wiping her cheeks. "Well, you better stay that way. If you get too good at being sensitive, I'm going to get suspicious."

Snape just smiled and patted her on the head. Katie's brows furrowed and she finally asked the question.

"Why do people do that to me? Do I look like a dog?" she said, honestly curious.

Snape let out a laugh, and Katie looked at him shocked. 'Completely delusional,' she thought to herself.

"No, you most certainly do not. You're just, little," he said, as if that explained it.

"Ok, nutter," Katie muttered, smiling.

"Come on, I'll walk you up to Gryffindor Tower. You need your rest," he said standing.

Katie followed as they walked in silence up to Gryffindor Tower. As they approached, they noticed a figure standing before The Fat Lady. Snape and Katie both pulled out their wands at the same time, but Snape stood in front of Katie, shielding her as they walked closer. Katie peered at the figure as they got closer and her breath hitched in her throat. Snape looked down at her as the figure turned around.

"Kate? Are you ok?" the figure said rushing forward.

Snape put his wand away and stepped aside and Oliver Wood came bounding toward Katie. He embraced Katie so tightly that Katie felt as if she couldn't breath,

"I'm alright now," she said softly, feeling Oliver relinquish his grip on her.

"But the ring-"

"It's fine. I'm fine now," she said smiling at Oliver's concerned face.

"Where were you? I tried bribing The Fat Lady, but she said that you left the Tower. And why is he here?"

Snape cleared his throat indignantly, and Katie pushed Oliver lightly. "Hey! Don't talk to him like that," she said crossing her arms across her chest.

Snape placed a hand on her shoulder. "Well, now that I know you're here safely, I'll go. See you at breakfast, Miss. Bell."

He had turned and left before Katie could thank him for everything. Katie turned her gaze back to Oliver.

"Can you please be more nice?" she said, looking at him with an arched eyebrow.

Oliver waved a hand between them. "That's the last thing on my mind. What happened? Why was alerted?"

Katie took a deep breath. "Come with me," she said grabbing his hand and dragging him to The Fat Lady.

"Why, hello dear. That young man was trying to intrude," she said eyeing Oliver suspiciously.

"I know," she said and leaned forward to whisper the password to The Fat Lady, "He was just worried about me."

The Fat Lady swung open and Katie pulled Oliver in the common room and up into her dorm. She walked over to her bed and looked down at the bits of paper mournfully.

"Well, that was a note from Paris, accompanied by the piece of glass I used to try and kill myself with," she said softly, "And I found it today. Today just happened to be a very bad day."

Oliver spun her around and pulled her to him possessively. "Katie, please tell me you didn't," he said, kissing her hair.

"I did. But it's ok now. I'm better now. I gave the glass to Snape to dispose of for me, because I don't trust myself to do it."

Oliver placed another kiss on the top of her head before pulling back and pressing a kiss to her lips. He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

"I was scared to death, Kate."

"I'm sorry," Katie said, hugging him around the middle.

"Don't be sorry," he said softly, "Just don't do it again, please."

"Promise," Katie said smiling.

****

Katie woke to the feeling of someone tracing lines on her arms. She opened her eyes to see Oliver laying beside her, brows furrowed, and tracing the scars on her arms.

**

And scars are souvenirs you never lose

The past is never far

Goo Goo Dolls - "Name"

**

"I thought you said you would leave after I fell asleep," Katie mumbled sleepily, ceasing the motion of his hand.

"Couldn't make myself leave," he said sheepishly, looking at Katie.

"Why were you-"

"Couldn't help it," he said looking back down at her arm, "Your poor arm."

Katie had to grin at that. "Well, I think they're safe now."

"Good," Oliver said kissing her softly.

Katie ignored the fact that they both had morning breath and kissed him back passionately. She was lucky to have Oliver. How many girls would kill to be her right at that moment?

Oliver pulled away and brushed Katie's hair behind her ear. "I love you."

"I love you too, Ol."

****

Katie snuck Oliver out before the sun came up completely before going back up to Gryffindor Tower to shower and change for breakfast. Even though nothing had occurred between her and Oliver, she couldn't help feeling like what had transpired was a little dangerous. And as The Fat Lady admonished her with a wink, Katie knew that today would be a good day.