I Loved You More

Another Nasty Rumor

Chapter #11

"Good morning," she said sweetly, throwing a loathing glare toward Lily. "Fancy seeing you come out of this particular room...Filch told me to guard it because there were students inside who had spent the night in it and he was going to get them expelled."

"Woke up early to kiss Filch's arse?" asked Sirius heatedly.

"I never expected those students to be you. Of course," she ignored him, still looking at Lily, "I always knew you weren't as innocent as you tried to make everyone believe. And as for you," she actually grimaced at Sirius, "I simply can't believe a relation of mine would stoop to the level of a mudblood."

"How dare you?! You could never compare to her! You're just a slimy, jealous hag!" James raged, looking ready to slap her.

"I must be going now. Filch gave me strict instructions to report back to him immediately after the naughty students came out."

Bellatrix smiled darkly before turning and strutting down the corridor leaving Lily, Summer, James, and Sirius fuming.

"That hateful little beast!" cried Lily after a moment in which she had to collect enough of her composure to speak. "I don't know why she hates me so much! I've never done anything to her!"

"Oh come off it, Evans! You know she doesn't care about what you've done. Just you being a muggleborn is enough for her," Sirius barked.

Yes, Sirius was right. Lily knew perfectly well why Bellatrix Black hated her but Lily, having never been involved with anything of this sort herself, was utterly shocked that anyone could be so malicious.

"She'll do anything to make you look bad," added Summer ruefully.

"Of all the Prefects, why did Filch have to choose her to guard the door? Too bad it hadn't been Moony," said James, raking a hand through his hair.

Lily wasn't sure if she would have preferred Remus to guard the door because then he would know about her nightly expedition with his best friends. Then she realized that it didn't matter after all because he was going to find out from Bellatrix somehow anyway. How could anything go so wrong?

After several more minutes of ranting and raving about Bellatrix as they wandered through the corridors, Sirius suggested they go down to breakfast.

"I'm not hungry," Lily muttered.

"Come on, Lily. Just because Bellatrix is trying to get the better of you doesn't mean you should help her out a bit and starve yourself," Summer reasoned.

"You'll have to face them all sooner or later, so why not sooner with a meal thrown in?" asked James.

"Fine then, let's go," Lily said unwillingly.

When they entered the Great Hall, it became clear that Bellatrix had taken care to tell anyone she passed on her way to find Filch that Lily Evans and Summer Blisse has snuck out last night and slept in an unused classroom with James Potter and Sirius Black. As they walked to the Gryffindor table, judging from the pieces of conversation heard from the other tables, it was obvious that much of the school already knew.

"-Can you believe it?"

"-Yeah, Lily Evans and Summer Blisse..."

"-and she always talks about how much she hates him..."

"-I don't believe it...probably just another nasty rumor..."

"-Isn't she going out with Remus Lupin?"

"-I always knew those two were nothing but little tramps..."

Some were vicious and spiteful, some were triumphant, some were fair, some were shocked, while some were disbelieving. However, when they saw the four subjects of the rumor walk in together, it seemed to confirm what they had heard and more found it easier to believe. Lily tried not to listen or care but inside, she was tearing apart.

As they approached their tables, it seemed that even with Bellatrix Black's amazing rumor-spreading skills, the story had yet to reach the ears of the Gryffindors. Remus was sitting with Peter, beckoning cheerfully for them to join. Guilt burned into Lily as she looked at his face. It wouldn't be long before that friendly smile was wiped off, especially when he realized that James and Sirius hadn't gone to bed last night.

"Hey guys! I've been all over looking for you! Where were you this morning?" he was asking brightly.

They never got a chance to answer. The doors of the Great Hall burst open, causing all heads to turn. Professor McGonagall marched in and headed straight toward them, looking outraged with her lips squeezed so tightly they disappeared altogether.

"You four," she said in a deadly commanding voice. "Follow me."

She led them down the length of the Great Hall and through the tall set of doors as everyone watched with great interest, Remus and Peter with great confusion. It felt longer than any walk Lily had ever known. She stared straight ahead, pretending not to notice all the stares they received though truthfully, she had never been so humiliated.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, they reached McGonagall's office. Here, she bustled around her desk, gesturing impatiently for them to sit in the chairs facing her desk.

As Lily looked up, ashamed, into her professor's stern face, she felt worse than ever. She looked so disappointed. Lily had thrown away the trust her teacher had carefully invested in her and it made it stomach squirm with self-disgust.

McGonagall stared solemnly at them for a moment, letting the suspense grow, before speaking.

"Mr. Filch has just informed me that you four were out of your dormitories past midnight last night. He also told me that you ran from him and locked yourself in a classroom to avoid getting caught! And, that you stayed in there all night!"

The four students looked down at their laps, even James and Sirius, who didn't even try out their famous, smooth-talking tongues to lighten their situation.

"This is serious even by your standards," she rounded on James and Sirius. "And Ms. Blisse, Ms. Evans, I am thoroughly shocked at you both...The two of you being smart, decent, students with a flawless record. I never thought I'd be ashamed of you."

Hearing McGonagall's last sentence was excruciating. Lily's heart was rapidly sinking lower and lower until she was drowning in her own pathetic, guilty, misery. She was incapable of meeting her respected teacher's eyes.

"And two of you being Prefects to top it all off! Why in Merlin's name would you pull a stunt like this?" she continued, bearing down upon them all mercilessly.

"Professor, we never planned to sleep in that room. We-" James attempted bravely, though it was the first time in his life he had ever been meek.

"Just as you didn't plan to get caught?" interrupted McGonagall furiously. "Yes, I suppose that's the story, right? Poor excuse for being out past curfew. I have half a mind to expel you all!"

"You mean you weren't going to?" asked Lily, amazed.

"No, but I will be blunt," said McGonagall, with a piercing stare. "Ms. Evans, I am confident you are well aware that all four of you are among the top students in the school. I would never be able to deny a group of great witches and wizards their education and future because of one mistake. You and Ms. Blisse certainly don't deserve this as you have shown me time and again what intelligent hard workers you are," she said so reproachfully, that Lily didn't even realize she had just received a compliment. "And you two," she turned back to James and Sirius. "You are very capable wizards. Never have I seen such talent in two young boys before, I admit. If you simply focused even a little of it on your studies instead of creating havoc in the school, you could easily be very successful."

James and Sirius seemed a little bored at this point, having heard this lecture from her numerous times before, not to mention James' parents, other teachers, Remus, and it had become quite routine for them.

"No, I cannot expel you. But you must understand the seriousness of what you have done. You will receive a week's worth of detentions and forty-five points each will be taken from Gryffindor. You may also be sure that Professor Dumbledore, along with your parents, will be informed," she declared. "You may go back to breakfast now. I expect you here at five o'clock sharp on Monday evening to serve your first detention.

Once they had closed the door safely behind them, Sirius sighed and said, "A rotten week of detentions...I would have preferred the expulsion."

"Sirius! That's not true!" rebuked Summer.

"Just wait and see what you say after this week...it's no pleasure cruise, believe me," retorted Sirius.

"Just as long as they don't supervise..." said James, grinning mysteriously and Sirius nodded, grinning also.

"I don't want to go to breakfast anymore, how 'bout you?" asked Lily, remembering the whispers and stares.

"Nah, let's go to the dorms and clean up a bit," agreed James.

When they scrambled through the portrait hole, they saw that everyone was either at breakfast or still in bed, enjoying the Saturday morning, except for a group of small first years huddled over a game of Exploding Snap.

Lily and Summer climbed up the stairs to their dormitory as James and Sirius ascended theirs. Tara and Di were in the process of getting up, lazily taking their sweet time. They both looked at Summer and Lily with a mixture of relief and anger. Tara pounced on them immediately.

"Where have you two been?" she exclaimed, striding toward Lily and Summer who were standing awkwardly in front of the door.

Summer shot a look at Lily. Lily agreed. Tara and Di better hear the real story of the previous night's events from them before they hear a nasty rumor from one of the many gossipers of the school. Lily and Summer had grown so accustomed to each other's way of thinking that they could carry a conversation through glances.

"This may shock you a bit," said Summer slowly. She poured out a full account of what had happened to them and she was right; Tara and Di were shocked. Lily and Summer knew they had a right to be so they patiently answered their questions.

"Of course that Bellatrix girl told as many people as she could and now the whole school thinks we're tramps," sighed Lily, deeply depressed.

"Why didn't you tell us where you were going?" asked Di.

"I don't know," admitted Summer truthfully. "It all just sort of happened."

"Who would actually believe you're a tramp?" demanded Tara doubtfully.

"Nearly everyone in the school now," replied Lily dully.

"Well, you did didn't...er...do anything with James and Sirius then?' asked Tara a little hesitantly.

Lily threw her a horrified glare.

"How could you even ask that, Tara?"

"Well, you did go out after hours and stay overnight in the same room with them. I never dreamed you'd do that but you're telling me you did. Who knows what else you'd do?" shrugged Tara.

"How dare you say that?!" Lily snapped; mentally, emotionally, and vocally. "Me...and...and...James Potter?!" she sputtered furiously.

"No, not necessarily James Potter, Lily. Sirius was there too."

A simple reminder, but Tara threw an incredible amount of meaning behind it as she raised her eyebrows and stared shrewdly at Lily.

Lily's temper flared.

"I can't believe this," she muttered audibly and dashed out of the room.

She continued walking straight through the portrait hole, taking no notice of the curious stares that followed her, James and Sirius' included.

Her mind was whirling violently. She was so angry with...everything. Raging thoughts of Tara, gossip, Bellatrix Black, and everybody else stormed restlessly inside of her and she began to walk faster. Her legs broke into a run and she didn't stop until she had reached the lake. There she stopped on the snow-covered bank, looking out onto the wide, frozen water.

Lily heaved a sigh of relief, steam billowing from her mouth. Outside, she could finally breathe and think clearly. Shivering slightly, she tugged her robes tighter around her body, folded her arms across her chest, and leaned against a tree. Then she just relaxed for awhile, enjoying the peace and serenity around her.

"Are you trying to freeze yourself to death?"

Lily grinned at Summer's voice. Now that she was in the freedom of the outdoors, away from everything, she could smile easily.

"How'd you know I'd come out here?" asked Lily, turning around to see her friend wrapped in her cloak and decked with a wooly hat and mittens. She held out Lily's own cloak and gloves.

"Don't you always?" Summer replied.

"Thanks," Lily gratefully took her things and put them on, very thankful for a shield against the chill of the wind. "You know me too well."

"Good thing or you might have stayed out here until you turned into an ice cube," grinned Summer, as she leaned next to Lily against the tree. There was a brief pause before she said, "Tara didn't mean anything. She was just being Tara."

"I know," Lily said ruefully. "I'm not really mad at her...it's just my stupid self that I'm mad at. This entire thing is my fault. It was all for some bloody secret and nobody got anything out of it except five detentions, a new, horrible reputation, and a row with a friend."

"Maybe, but," Summer said. "It was sort of fun. Being adventurous for one night, if nothing else."

Lily thought about this. Then she realized that that night of mischief was the most fun she'd had in a long time and it was the most thrilling thing she'd ever experienced. She remembered the devious feeling that sneaking out and wandering the corridors with all the suspense of dark corners had given her. For the first time, she understood why the Marauders loved getting into trouble. Then she recalled the fit of hysterical laughter that she and James had shared. Just thinking about it made her want to giggle again.

"Yeah," she agreed. "It was very exciting."

"And about the detentions...well, we deserve them. We'll be together, too, so how can they be? Plus, all the pressure of keeping clean record is gone. As for our new reputations, they won't last. Soon people will see how ridiculous the rumors Bellatrix spread are and everyone will forget about it. And Tara- Tara as we all know, will be on her hands and knees begging you to forgive her in about half an hour," Summer said brightly. "So...no worries, right?"

"No worries," repeated Lily, her spirit lightening.

They heard the crunching of icy snow and when they turned around, they saw James running down the hill toward them. He waved cheerfully.

"Hey Evans! The Head Boy and Girl are calling a meeting for all the Prefects in about five minutes," he said when he reached them. "The gits. What a waste of a Saturday."

"Okay, well, I suppose I'll see you later, Sum," said Lily regretfully.

"Is this all frozen?" James asked, looking down at the icy surface of the lake.

"I think so- Potter!"

James had hopped down onto the ice. He turned and looked up at Lily with questioning expectancy on his face.

"What?"

"You don't know if it's safe! What if...it cracks or something and you fall through?" Lily said.

James raised an eyebrow at her then sprinted out toward the middle and slid several feet on his sneakers, pirouetting gleefully.

"What if the earth opens up and swallows me?" he shouted back, lifting both his arms for more effect. He jumped up and stomped hard on the ice. "Seems pretty safe to me."

James began gliding around, spinning and leaping. Summer laughed and dashed out to join him. Lily looked down hesitantly at the motionless water. James and Summer seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely and she really wanted to run wildly on the slippery lake with them but something held her back. Her cautious nature imagined all possible scenarios, making the lake a lot more frightening to her than it was.

"Let's go, Evans," James was suddenly right in front of her, grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the ice before she could protest. Lily tried to step very carefully but James dragged her along too quickly.

Then he stopped abruptly to look behind at her struggle but she slid into him and they both went tumbling onto the cold surface. Summer came and stood over them, helpless with laughter.

"Potter! Look what you made us do!" exclaimed Lily, rubbing her bruising knees.

"It's not my fault you didn't stop in time- Wait! I think I hear...The ice is cracking!" he cried.

Lily gasped and scrambled away, trying to stand up but falling flatly on her back. James and Summer began laughing hysterically. Lily spun around and glared at them, realizing that the ice had never cracked but her twitching lips gave in and a loud, goofy laugh escaped her.

"You bloody prat!" she crawled over to where James was still lying and pounded him in the shoulder.

The three of them fell into a frenzy of breathless laughter and confused tackling and neither one of them noticed when someone emerged from the castle and began heading purposefully toward the lake. It was Remus, having been sent to find James who was late for the Prefect meeting. He stopped short when he was close enough to identify the three figures playing on the frozen water. Without further ado, he turned and strode back up the hill, slamming the doors behind him.

* * *

"Uh oh."

"What's the matter?" Lily asked James quickly, a smile still playing on her face.

"I completely forgot...We're fifteen minutes late for the Prefect meeting!" he groaned.

"The Heads are going to murder us!" Lily said, getting to her feet. "See you later, Summer!"

James and Lily hurried as fast as the ice would allow them to move off the ice and through the crunching snow up to the school to the Prefect lounge where they barged in, panting and flushed.

"We...are...so...sorry!" gasped Lily immediately to the stern-looking Head Boy and Girl. "We were, uh, busy with something and lost track of time!"

"Gee, I wonder what they were so busy with," said Bellatrix loudly from her seat. "You'd think they'd gotten enough last night."

Lily's face burned crimson and even James, who always kept cool, blushed deeply.

The Head Girl, a bossy Ravenclaw, gave them a patronizing look that clearly said, "Just sit down."

James and Lily meekly took an armchair each and looked up attentively, trying to ignore the snide stares directed at them. Lily forced herself to focus on what the Head Boy was saying about keeping an especial watch out for Fanged Frisbees in the corridors so that she wouldn't think about what everyone else was thinking. She was also attempting not to look as completely mortified as she felt. After all her effort and work and dedication she had put into becoming a well-respected student, it was all forgotten as soon as she did anything suspicious. It made her feel sick. How could anyone believe that she would do...anything with Potter? The whole thing was absurd.

The meeting lasted for another half an hour, in which Lily dwelled in these unpleasant thoughts, her blood boiling about what Bellatrix had purposefully started. Everyone was busy exiting the lounge when Remus approached her.

"Lily, we have to talk," he said firmly.

"What about?" asked Lily in a somewhat demanding tone.

Nice way to start a conversation with the girl who may be considered your girlfriend, Lily thought bitterly. No 'How are you?' or 'Sorry about that awful rumor that was spread about you'!

He waited until all the Prefects had cleared out of the room before answering.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Lily stared at him, her frustration quickly growing to a dangerous size. She made an impatient gesture with her hand and said in annoyance, "Elaborate please."

"About you and one of my best friends hooking up," he said angrily. "It would have been-"

But that was as far as he got. Lily had had enough.

"And why is that? Because you have some claim on me?" She was off. "Sorry, but I never heard about that. How was I supposed to know, you hardly talked to me?! I didn't even know if I was your girlfriend or not! So as far as I'm concerned, it's none of your business who I hook up with, Lupin!"

Remus looked shocked. He had never known Lily to be like this.

"You really did then?" he sputtered.

"ARE YOU NOT HEARING ME?" she yelled. "It's not your problem! All you had to do was make it official and ask me to be your girlfriend. But since you were never man enough, what I do with other guys is none of your concern! Understand?"

"It is if it's with my best friend!" retorted Remus.

"How dare you even think that for one second? Do you realize who you're talking to? What kind of girl do you think I am? And can't you at least have more faith in James? Even I admit that he would never do that to you!"

"I did until I saw you two being all cuddly on the lake!" Remus countered.

"What?! You believe I'm a tramp because you see me on a lake with a guy and my best friend? What is wrong with you?"

"All I'm saying is that is looks bad, Lily. You should really care more about what other people will think than having a little fun," he said coldly.

Lily gaped at him in horror. She was speechless for a moment as the full impact of his words hit her.

"Boy, was I fooled about you, Remus Lupin," she said in a deadly calm voice. "You're even worse than James and Sirius. At least they aren't cowards. You're pathetic."

"Yeah, well, you're not the girl I thought you were either," replied Remus and he rushed from the room without another word.

Lily stood rooted to the spot and rubbing her face wearily with shaky hands. She was trembling with fury.

Suddenly James appeared in the doorway.

"Were you eavesdropping?" asked Lily testily.

"I was listening to you, if that's what you mean," explained James matter-of-factly as he strolled into the room. His bluntness irritated her. Why wouldn't he just act normal and start stuttering excuses, cower in the face of her wrath, like everybody else? "I left my cloak here and came to get it but I didn't feel the need to interrupt your, er, conversation. Does this mean you two are done?"

"Do you really expect me to keep hanging around with that...that..." unable to find a satisfactory word in her vocabulary to describe Remus, she ended with a bitter, frustrated groan that sounded more like a roar.

James seemed to bristle slightly. He took a step forward with a rather pleading expression etched on his face.

"I know he said some mean things...but he's going through a lot right now. He's not really himself," he said. "Just try not to murder him."

Under normal circumstances, Lily would have been rationalized but she still reeked with venomous anger and she wasn't in control for she had yet to pass the dangerous stage.

"You're standing up for him? But he even doubted you! Did you hear all those awful things he said?" she snapped. "I can't stand this! And it's all YOUR fault!"

James seemed taken aback. He didn't try to argue but waited to hear her reasoning.

"You got me into this whole mess with your bloody secrets and your mad tours and your...your..."

Lily choked back a sob and swallowed fiercely. "Oh no no no no no..." she muttered under her breath as she began pacing with her fingers dug deeply into her hair. She blinked hard with determined force. She would not cry. Not here. Not in front of anyone...especially not Potter.

"Evans, everything's okay. Don't stress so much," said James gently, gingerly placing a hand on her arm to make her stop pacing.

"No! Remus hates me, Tara's mad at me, and everyone thinks I'm a tramp. I have no idea how I'm going to fit five detentions into my schedule AND I'm getting a huge headache!" she ranted.

"You know very well that you're just having one of those crazy fits and so you're making this out to be way worse than it is," said James, the corner of his mouth inching its way upward.

"I'm not having a fit!" she yelled stubbornly, whipping her arm out of his grasp and stomping her foot childishly.

James grinned and seemed to be trying to restrain a laugh. Lily tried to glare at him but her rage had blown over. She let herself laugh and James freed himself to do the same.

"I'm not having a fit," she persisted, though she said is very quietly and with a smile on her face.

"Course not," scoffed James as though he would never have dreamed of the idea. He looked up to the ceiling and swung around to face the door, wrapping a lanky arm around Lily's shoulders.

He had done this many, many times before, usually preceding him asking her out and Lily pulling away with disgust. For the first time, she didn't pull away.

James grabbed their cloaks and they walked like that all the way to the Fat Lady's portrait. Then Lily turned to face James.

"Thank you," she said.

Then she did something neither of them expected. She gave him a hug.

"Anytime."

Lily promptly gave the password to the Fat Lady, who had been watching with great interest, and climbed through the hole. James stood there with an elated little smile on his face. He seemed to have forgotten where he was until the Fat Lady cleared her throat loudly and said, "Well, are you coming in or aren't you?"

The dreaminess left his eyes and he grinned.

"What's the big rush? Got a hot date tonight?" he asked with an obnoxious smirk before crawling inside.