Broken

Memories on Hold
Chapter 12

The sun broke through the window of the library of the Malfoy Manor. Harry had mixed emotions where Lucius Malfoy was concerned. On one hand, Lucius had been a murderous Death Eater. There was no telling what kind of crimes this man had committed that Harry didn't know about. He had been in Voldemort's circle since his own childhood. He was the man who threatened the life of Harry's mother, albeit through Severus. In many ways, Lucius Malfoy helped change the course of Harry's life.

Lucius was the man who had given the diary to Ginny when she was just a small girl. Ginny had almost died in the Chamber of Secrets. She could have caused the deaths of others because of that diary.

Lucius had raped his best friend and left her for dead. She now carried his child. Would that child become as vile as Lucius Malfoy? Draco wasn't. At least Lucius wouldn't be around to shape Hermione's baby into what he was. Not that I would let him, thought Harry.

On the other hand, if it weren't for Lucius, Harry would surely have perished in the final battle with Lord Voldemort. What had happened? Harry stood staring at the body of Lucius as if he'd find certain answers. There seemed to be so much more to the dead man, but one thing Harry could be sure of was that in the end, Lucius did save him. But was that enough to change all of the horrific things that the man had done in the past? Was one moment of change enough to save Lucius' soul?

Harry thought about Ginny and what she would say. It's enough, Harry, because he saved you. Let it go. Harry snorted at that. Ginny would say those things because she loved him so much, she'd forgive Voldemort himself if it meant she could have Harry back in one piece. But Harry couldn't forget the little girl sprawled out on the Chamber's floor. That little girl would become the mother of his child. In Harry's nightmares, he no longer heard his mother's scream, nor did he see the face of Voldemort. His nightmares now held the image of a grown Ginny lying on the Chamber's floor. And Harry blamed Lucius for that. He reckoned he always would.

Harry's silent reverie was broken by the sound of his newfound comrade clearing his throat. Harry realized that Severus must have just come out of his own memories as well.

"I guess we need to call someone from the Ministry. Someone will need to contact Mrs. Malfoy so that she can make funeral arrangements and such," Harry said mechanically.

Severus gave him a stern look. "What are you talking about?"

Harry shrugged. "I remember when Uncle Vernon died, my aunt had to contact all his family." Receiving a strange look from his former professor, he added, "Mrs. Figg told me. I didn't even know he'd died until Mrs. Figg told me." Harry remembered how sad he had felt upon hearing the news of his hated uncle. He wasn't sad for the man who'd made his life miserable. His heart had broken for his aunt. She had been no better, but she was his family - his blood. Regardless of the way he was treated, he had been kept safe. It was a sacrifice on her part as much as it was his mother's. Harry knew that now.

"Well, I think we definitely need to contact the Ministry. I will ask Draco to contact Narcissa." Severus gave a slight smirk. "They are free now. With Lucius gone, Draco and Hermione are free."

Harry looked hard at Severus. "Yes, they are. Just like you."

Severus regarded him and repeated, "Just like me."

A moment later, Harry was on the terrace sending his Patronus up for the Ministry while Severus was conjuring a blanket to put over Lucius' body. After stepping back into the library, he noticed Severus' hesitation to cover Lucius up. Finally, with a deep sigh, Severus whispered, "Goodbye, old friend. I hope you find peace." Severus used his fingers to close Lucius' eyes and then covered him with the blanket.

Harry couldn't help but feel bad for the man. It was a side he'd never seen of Severus and hoped he would never have to see again. Harry rather preferred the grouchy Snape over the sensitive Severus, for the sensitive one was rather scary and unpredictable.

Severus stood and grabbed the Pensieve and the two phials. He handed the phials go Harry, which Harry stowed in the pocket of his robes. Severus said, pointedly, "You need to take this with you to Hogwarts. I will wait here for Ministry officials. I don't want them to see what is in this Pensieve. I'm afraid there wouldn't be anything left for Draco if they plundered through it. No matter what Lucius Malfoy was, he was Draco's father. Take this to him, Harry. He deserves to know. You will also have to tell him that his father is gone."

Harry nodded and took the Pensieve. "And, Harry, tell them you have the phials that hold their memories. However, suggest that they shouldn't see them until the baby is born. I'm afraid that whatever secret is in those memories could destroy them. The baby is already at risk with Hermione's recent health issues."

Harry nodded and started toward the door. When he reached the handle, he turned back to Severus. Harry noticed that Severus was staring at the body of Lucius as if to make sure it didn't disappear. Harry felt the urge to say something. "Sir, I-I'm sorry for your loss. I know that he was your friend." Severus didn't turn, but said, "The man that was my friend died a long time ago. I have already mourned his passing, but I appreciate your words nonetheless."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, and then he left.

When Harry reached the castle, he was in a quandary. He had no idea how to break the news to Draco that his father had killed himself. He also had no idea how he was going to tell them he had their memories, but couldn't give it to them until the baby was born. Hermione was quite the force to be reckoned with.

Harry took a deep breath and opened the door to the infirmary. Hermione was sitting up in her bed with Draco sitting on the edge. She was telling him a story that was obviously very funny to Draco. When Harry got closer, he heard Draco say, "You turned into a cat? Oh... that's funny." They were both laughing so hard, they didn't even notice Harry come into the room. Harry swallowed hard. He really hated to break up such happiness with the news he had to give. Harry plastered a grin on his face and moved on. "I don't think I've ever heard Hermione laugh at herself before, good show."

"Hi, Harry," Hermione said through giggles. "I was telling Draco about our experience with the Polyjuice Potion."

Harry bent down and kissed Hermione on the forehead. "You must be running fever or something, Hermione. You shouldn't be telling him those stories." Then in a mock whisper, Harry added, "He's the enemy."

Hermione grinned. Harry felt another pang. "Well, you look like you're feeling much better, anyway."

"Yeah," Draco said. "Madam Pomfrey said she could leave after lunch. I promised her I'd teach her how to play chess so she can beat Ron."

"Good on you, mate. Ron needs some decent competition."

Hermione laughed along with Harry and Draco at that remark, and then her giddiness subsided. "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry looked at her, smiling weakly. "What do you mean, Hermione?"

"Harry Potter, you've been one of my best friends since we were in Hogwarts' nappies. You can not tell me that there's nothing wrong. I know your eyes, Harry, like I know my own. When you're really happy, you get a little crinkle in the corner, and right now you don't have a crinkle. Come on, spill."

Harry took a deep breath. "Gods, Hermione, you don't even need Legilimency."

"It has something to do with Lucius, doesn't it? You were going after him. Did you find him?"

"Yes, I did. I don't know how to say this, but Lucius is gone."

Draco frowned. "What do you mean? Where did he go?"

"No, I mean gone as in... Draco, I'm sorry, mate, but your father is dead. He took his own life right in front of us. We couldn't stop him. However, before he died, he wanted me to give you something. It's his Pensieve. It's currently in Professor Dumbledore's office for you to view whenever you're ready, mate."

Draco just stared at Harry as if he didn't even hear him. "I don't want that Pensieve. Whatever he had to say to me, he could have said it while he was still alive."

Harry sighed. "Listen, Draco, I know you don't want to hear it now, but someday you might regret it if you don't. I would give anything to have a Pensieve with my dad's last words."

"But your dad wasn't cruel like mine, Harry. From what everyone says, he was a good man that sacrificed himself so you and your mum could make it to safety. My father never would have done that. He only sacrificed himself so he wouldn't have to go to prison. He was a coward. And look at what he's done to me and Hermione."

Harry thought for a moment and then shrugged. "My dad wasn't good to everyone. Just ask your godfather. My dad and his friends did some pretty nasty things to him."

"Yeah," said Draco. "But your dad just did the same things to Severus that I did to you and your friends while we were in school. That was just rivalry. I know all about it. Just leave it, Harry. I don't want to look at it."

"Okay, I'll leave it. But, you know, if you're looking for answers, you might find them in that Pensieve. They may not be the answers you want to hear, but it would be something."

Draco looked at Harry angrily. "Why are you pushing this, Potter?"

"Because, Malfoy, I think the man deserves to be heard. We haven't told anyone this, but it was your dad that helped us kill Voldemort. He said something to the respect of Voldemort turning him into a monster, and then he turned on him. Just think about it, okay. He's dead now, Draco. He can't hurt either of you ever again.

Slowly, Draco nodded his head at this revelation. Hermione grabbed his hand. "Harry's right, Draco; you should at least think about it. Regardless of what he did, he was still your father." He looked down, sadly, at their grasped hands.

"I'm sorry about your father, Draco," Hermione said, noticing his sadness.

Draco realized that Hermione had mistaken his emotions regarding the news of his father's death. "Hermione, he stopped being my father the day he raped you. What I'm more concerned about is the fact that he can't undo the bond. I'm sorry, love, but you're stuck with me."

Hermione felt a swell of emotion at Draco's endearment. Without taking her eyes off of Draco, she said, "Harry, can you give us a few moments?"

Harry smiled. "I have to go anyway. I have some catching up to do with a couple of gorgeous witches. By the way, do either of you know where my aunt went? I wanted to tell her goodbye before she goes home."

"I believe she went to your house with your mother. She wanted to get in some Abigail time before she left," Hermione said.

"Oh, I almost forgot; wait until you see who the new Ancient Runes teacher is. I'll have Ron bring her down here; you're going to love it."

Seeing Hermione's confusion, Harry answered the unasked question. "Professor Vector retired."

"Oh, that's right; I forgot," Hermione said.

"Well, I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Sure, Harry. Wait, Harry, did you have any luck with getting our memories from Lucius?"

Harry looked sadly into Hermione's eyes. "I've got them, Hermione. However, Professor Snape asked me not to give them to you until after your baby is born. He's afraid that you'll cause more damage to yourself, which in turn could cause damage to the baby. I'm sorry, Hermione, but I agree with him. We're just afraid of what you will see."

Hermione sighed. "I understand, Harry. I can wait. Go and enjoy your family; you deserve it."

After Harry left, silence once again filled the room. Hermione was chewing on her bottom lip and finally said, "Draco, do you still want to make it official? Do you still want to marry me?"

Draco looked at her in surprise. "Yeah, I mean, only if you want to."

Hermione sighed and stood. She walked over to the window and looked out onto the grounds. "When I was a little girl, I used to dream of what my wedding would be like. It would either be in a church filled with my family, or it would be in the garden of my parents' back yard. I would do it in the spring when the flowers are in full bloom. I dreamed I would fall in love, and my prince would carry me off into the sunset where we would live happily ever after." Hermione finished with a bitter laugh.

"Of course, that was all before I knew I was a witch. Never in all my fantasies was I forced into a bond by the Death Eater father of my bond mate."

Draco looked at his hands sadly. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I know this isn't easy for you. I'm sure we can work something out. Maybe you can marry someone you love in a Muggle ceremony."

Hermione walked toward Draco and laid a hand on his shoulder. "You haven't let me finish." She knelt down so that she was eye level with him. He looked into her russet eyes and waited for her to continue.

"Draco, all of my childhood fantasies were just that, only fantasies. This is reality. I honestly believe I could be happy with you, regardless of the circumstances. If I let this curse take over my life, then Lucius will continue to torture me from the grave. I will not let that happen. We don't have a choice with our bond. But we do have a choice in what we do with it." She cupped his cheek and said, "Draco, I think you are a wonderful man. The changes you've made in your life were not easy. I would be proud to be your wife."

Draco smiled and pulled Hermione into a hug. "Hermione, I will do everything I can to make you happy. I will raise this baby as if it were my own. After all, he or she is my family. You don't have to change your name if you don't want. I will understand if you don't want to be a Malfoy." Draco pulled back from her and looked into her teary eyes. "But, Hermione, if you do take my name, I promise I will make you proud to have it. It was strong and good at one time. I will do everything I can to put the Malfoy name back to where it used to be."

When Draco ceased his babbling, Hermione chuckled and said, "Draco, I will take your name. Not because it belonged to Lucius, but because it belongs to you."

Before Draco could respond, the door to the hospital wing opened, and a familiar voice said, "There you are, Dra--"

Draco looked up from Hermione to see Pansy Parkinson standing with her hand on her mouth and eyes wide in surprise.

Draco smirked at Hermione. "Hello, Pansy, have you met my future wife?"

Pansy fell backwards in a dead faint. Luckily Ron was behind her and caught her before she hit the ground.

He looked at the other two and said, "That went well."