Sustenence and Poison Of The Dragon

Sustenance and poison of the Dragon- Chapter Four- New Beginnings

~"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"~

-Semisonic

"Hermione! Wait up!" Draco shouted down the long corridor. She stopped and waited for him to catch up.

"What did Ron want to talk to you about?" she asked him when he had caught up.

"Oh, nothing much. Just something about the living arrangement, nothing to worry about," Draco told her, reassuringly, though it hurt him to lie to her.

"I'm sorry about him, Draco, how he's been giving you so many problems," she said to him.

"Don't be, it's not your fault. I don't blame him," Draco began, but Hermione continued, now meeting his eyes.

"He's always so protective of me, I don't like it. He's grown to think I belong to him or something. Like I'm his girlfriend," she told him, wincing at the thought. "He isn't like he used to be," she continued, staring ahead of her, crossing her arms as she walked, "he used to be so fun, so caring, so loving. But now he's just so...I don't even know how to describe it. He's so...cold," she said, a little sadness in her voice.

"Ah, here we are," Draco said, breaking the awkward silence as they approached the front desk of the ministry. That was the only place you could apparate in the Ministry. They did that during the first rise of the dark lord so that random Death Eaters couldn't just pop out of nowhere into top secret meetings.

They waited a moment until Ron came jogging behind them. They arrived at the Leaky Cauldron without a problem and the ride to their new home went by in silence.

*************

"Alright, looks like we're here. Out ya go," came the voice of the cab driver from the front seat.

"How much do I owe you?" asked Draco, pulling out his wallet.

"It's already taken care of by the ministry," the cab driver told him as he jumped out of the car to help unload some of their belongings.

After he had pulled away, they all picked up their things, Hermione and Ron walking up to Hermione's door, Draco walking in the direction of the bed and breakfast.

"Draco, where are you going?" Hermione asked him.

"Umm...to my room, I really do need a little sleep," he said informed her, a sigh of relief coming from Ron.

"Nonsense, you're coming with us for a little while. You can meet my family," she told him with a warm smile.

"Are...are you sure?" he asked her.

"Of course I am!" she said to him.

When the three of them reached the porch, Hermione's parents were already waiting for them. They both looked very much like her. He knew right away where she had gotten her hair, her mother had the same mass brown curls on her head, but Hermione had her father's deep brown eyes. Ron and Hermione embraced her parents while Draco stood off to the side, feeling a bit awkward about the whole situation.

"Who is that, sweetheart?" Mr. Granger whispered to his daughter, not knowing Draco was hearing every of it.

"That's my friend Draco, the one who saved me. I've invited him to the house," she answered him.

"Dr...Draco Malfoy?" he asked in disbelief, "the same boy who threatened you and put you through hell every year of Hogwarts?"

"He's changed, daddy, really he has," she informed him, still in the same hushed tone.

"Sir," Draco spoke up, stepping forward," it's alright, I'll leave if that is what you wish," he told Mr. Granger.

"No, Draco, you don't have to, really," Hermione said to him, her eyes still pleading with her father's.

"I think I'm the one who should decide that, Hermione. I don't want his kind in my house," he said with a bitter edge in his voice.

"Well his kind saved your little girl's life tonight, father!" Hermione angrily retorted.

"Hermione, get inside the house, or I'll bloody well make you!" her father shouted at her.

"Yes father," Hermione practically whispered, "I'm sorry Draco," she said before turning and going into the house, followed by Ron who was snickering at Draco's expense.

"Don't come near my daughter. Do you hear me? I never trusted your kind and some lie of heroic acts is not going to change that," he said to Draco.

"Sir, I would never hurt your daughter," Draco said to Mr. Granger, suddenly feeling bolder than before.

"How can I believe that Malfoy? I've seen what your family can do to a person. Your father nearly killed Ron's poor father in that bookstore in the second year! How do I know you wont hurt one of us like that?"

"I don't know, Mr. Granger. I honestly don't know how I can prove it to you. All I can ask of you is to take my honest word for it," Draco told him, pleadingly.

"Just get out, Mr. Malfoy. You are no longer welcome here, This conversation is over," he told him ,turning to go back into the house.

Draco now knew where he stood with Hermione; He simply didn't stand.

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Draco slumped down on his bed, looking around the room he would be living in for the next moth or so. It was really pretty nice, and very large. It was more like his own, very small, personal apartment. It had two rooms. There was a comfortable sitting room with a small but full bookshelf, a mushy sofa, and two end tables. Everything in the room was either a dark wood stain or black. Just the way he liked it, gloomy. The bedroom was very much the same, but with a bed rather than a sofa. The bathroom was down the hall, and the kitchen was downstairs. both these were meant to be shared by all the guests. even Ron. That brought his mind back to Hermione.

He felt so worthless. For all he knew, he would never be allowed to see her again. He knew what Hermione's parents thought of him. The same Hermione herself had thought of him until less than 24 hours before. What time was it anyway?

"5:10. I had better get some sleep," Draco said to himself, but he couldn't imagine getting any sleep at the moment. All he could think about was Hermione. And that kiss. That damn kiss! It had been so brief, and he knew it didn't mean anything. Or had it? He thought about how Hermione had stuck up for him with Ron and her family.

She was just returning the favor,

he thought bitterly to himself, She doesn't love me, at least not the way I love her. She's too good for me. I could never have her. Look at what she's got. Her loving family, her great friends, a future. Me, none of the above. The only thing I have in the world right now is a few spare changes of clothes, that bloody money I got for the defeat of Voldemort, and hope; Hope that Hermione might return my feelings someday. The chances of that are pretty slim, though. I really don't have anything. Thinking of it now, I never really had much to begin with. I'll find her tomorrow and get the answers I need to hear.

With that thought, Draco fell asleep, just as the sky was turning a gloomy blue, the first light of day showing.

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You'll never be anything! You are as worthless as your mother, Draco! Nobody will ever love you! You will die alone. You will die tragically, and alone! You will never be worth anything, you're scum. You thought you would break away from the name, didn't you Draco. Worthless Draco. Insolate Draco. Foolish little shadow in daddy's limelight. Well you were very much mistaken, you will never be freed," Luscious Malfoy stood before him, towering over him, spitting these venomous words at him.

"Stop it. No, I'm stronger than you. Stop it! I hate you! You cannot control me like this!" Draco shouted at his father.

"She will never love you! Hermione will never love you! Nothing will ever be the way you want it to be. you'll live an unhappy life. And who could love you, anyway? You are your father. You are me. No escape, Draco. No escape," Luscious said to him, Draco kneeling before him, his head hung, crying, "She will never love you. She will never love you. She will never love you. She will never love you. She will never love you,"

"I will always love you," Draco's head shot up, no longer hearing or seeing his father. It was Hermione kneeling before him, meeting his eyes with her own, warm, brown orbs, "I will always love you, Draco Malfoy. Forever," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him.

Draco sat bolt upright in bed, startled by the sudden noise of the alarm clock. It was noon. Turning it off, Draco lay back down, trying to remember the dream. It had seemed so real. Hermione had seemed so real...and so had the image of his father. All those hateful words. Even in death, his father would come back to taunt him. But he believed the words. He knew they were true, whether he wanted to accept it or not. But then the memory of what Hermione had told him in the dream came back to him as well. Could it have been true? Did Hermione really feel that way?

"It was just a fucking dream, get a hold of yourself Draco. She doesn't love you, live with it," he said out loud to himself, getting out of bed. He was extremely hungry, he hadn't eaten in over a day. He walked to the bathroom down the hall, knocked on the door, and opened it. It was quaint, but comfortable. He showered for about five minutes, washing off all the blood from the previous night. He was so tired he hadn't even changed his disgusting clothes. He would make sure to throw these garments out of set them ablaze or something later on. He got out of the shower, got changed into the clothes he had brought down to the bathroom with him, and went downstairs for some lunch. He decided to just have a sandwich and some salad. It really wasn't bad food, but when he was halfway through his small meal, Ron walked into the dinning area, spotting Draco right away. Draco sighed as he walked over to where he sat, prepared for Ron's 'told you so' speech.

"Sleep well Malfoy?" Ron asked him, a sarcastic smile on his face.

"Like a dream," Draco answered dully.

"That was a nice little show you put on with Hermione last night, by the way. I don't know what you're up to, but if you try anything with her again, Mr. Granger will really put it to you,"

"Thank you for the warning, Weasley, but I think I can take care of myself, thank you," Draco said so him, getting very aggravated with him.

"And you had better not even think of going to Harry's memorial. You just don't belong with us, OK? We don't want you around us. Hermione was just being nice, with all she did for you. That's the kind of person she is. But don't go expecting this wonderful friendship with her, she's mine. She doesn't need you at all,"

"Yes, you keep reminding me of that. Why don't you let Hermione speak for herself, though?" asked Draco.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Malfoy. Just stay away or I'll have to make you. I know neither of us want that, am I right?" Ron asked him, and evil grin gracing his freckled, yet chiseled face.

"Sure," Malfoy said after a moment, as Ron got up and left. Was he right? Was Hermione really just being nice? There was only one person who could answer that for him, Hermione.

He went back to his room only to find a small, black owl lightly tapping at his window. Hw walked over to the frame, and opened the window to let the tiny animal in. Draco picked up the letter that it was dropped before flying back out the window. It was from Hermione.

Dear Draco,

I'm sorry about last night and the way my father treated you. He is never that way, really. He is truly a kind man, he just doesn't understand us. I'm sorry, Draco, but I don't think I will be able to see you again, as much as I want to. I'm so sorry. My father gave me strict orders to never see you again. We cannot be romantically involved, it is too dangerous, we are too vastly different. In another time, another place, maybe, but not now. Not here. This pains me more than you know. I know so little about the real Draco Malfoy, the Draco Malfoy I saw last night, and I long to know so much more. You are a wonderful person, Draco.

I do care about you very much, and I want you to know that. I meant it when I kissed you last night, with all my heart. But it was just a thing of the moment. If it weren't for my parent's arrogance, I would be with you. My mother and father do not know I am sending this to you. God help us if they find out. My parents are set on keeping me away from you, they do not want me to 'mingle with your kind,' as they put it. They don't trust you, despite all I have told them. I know I will see you again, there is no doubt in my mind. But no words can be spoken. But like you said, we shouldn't focus on what could be, the what ifs. I have to go back to my way of life, I have to pick up where I left off. It could not work between us. Your a Malfoy, I'm a Mudblood. Right? Thank you for all you did for me, and I'm sorry all this had to be said in a letter and not in person. I will try my hardest to get to see you sometime, since you're so close, but I don't think it will be easy. So I'll say goodbye now. Good luck, Draco Malfoy.

Love Always,

Hermione Granger

Draco stared at the letter for a moment before balling it up and throwing it across the room, tears in his eyes. He loved her so much, but now he knew for sure that it would never work. The same line ran through his head over and over, It could not work between us. Your a Malfoy, I'm a Mudblood. Right? Hadn't she seen he had changed? He though Hermione, of all people would understand. He felt so worthless. He had nobody left. He had only himself, and he didn't even like him.

"I hate myself. Then again, who doesn't? I remember when I was younger, my father told me to destroy any different ones. Now I am the different one. I'm the lonely one. Nobody would know if I was gone, nobody would have cared. If what had happened to Potter had happened to me, how would people have reacted? What would they say? Good riddance, that's what. I hate myself, I hate who I am. I hate what I have become. the only time I love myself is when I'm with her. I'm nothing without her. At least the hope I had kept me hanging. Well, with that all gone, what do I have? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm wasting away, slowly, day by day. What will become of my decomposed soul when I'm gone? What does it feel like to die? Is it really as bad as everybody says? Well, it can't be much worse than this...nothingness. Guess there is only one way to find out,"

Draco thought to himself as he stood there in the bathroom, the razor blade to his wrist, "It's now or never," Draco said quietly to himself.

With those words, Draco sunk the blade into his right wrist. The effect was instant, he watched as the blood poured from his wrist. The pain was blinding, but it helped him escape. A little while longer and he would be dead. His head began to feel heavy, he fell to the blood stained floor, "This is for you Hermione. I love you Hermione. I love you..."

"I love you too," said a voice from the doorway, you could tell the person had been crying.

Draco looked up, weakly and muttered a last word before he passed out, bleeding of the white tile floor, "Hermione?"

Hermione Granger stood before him with a tear stained face.