- Rating:
- G
- House:
- Riddikulus
- Characters:
- James Potter Peter Pettigrew Remus Lupin Sirius Black
- Genres:
- Humor
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Stats:
-
Published: 06/18/2002Updated: 06/18/2002Words: 1,006Chapters: 1Hits: 723
It's Time For A Change!
polarqueen
- Story Summary:
- Sirius, James, and Peter find out Remus's secret...just NOT the one they are going for. You see, Remus has this strange new obsession with...Quakers.
- Chapter Summary:
- Sirius, James, and Peter find out Remus's secret...just NOT the one they are going for. You see, Remus has this strange new obsession with...Quakers.
- Posted:
- 06/18/2002
- Hits:
- 723
- Author's Note:
- Quakers are fun, no? I am so converting! Maybe not...hey I live in Pennsylvania doesn't that make me an automatic Quaker?
James, Sirius, and Peter noticed that Remus was acting strange lately. He kept hiding in the corner...staring at something - at least once a night...for about fifteen minutes a night or so. Yup, he definitely was hiding something. James gathered his two friends and decided to have a little discussion with them.
James: You guys remember how we had that discussion about how we think he's a werewolf right...monthly absences on the full moon -
Sirius: Yeah, uh-huh, you told us that like six times already.
Peter: What we oughta do? I say we oughta eat some chicken enchiladas. Remember last time we discussed this? Really calmed me down. *gives a relieved smile*
Sirius: Ew! Never! We had gas like -all- night long. Even Remus was complaining about it. *thinks a minute and pats Peter on the back* This time we'll have beef.
James: *a little irritated* Guys! This is serious!
Sirius: Is it really? I'm not really ser-
James: Don't even bother! We've heard that joke a hundred-million times!
Peter: *chuckles at Sirius's favorite joke*
Sirius: Peter thinks I'm funny.
James: Well...anyways...I think it's time we should go talk to him.
Sirius: *shrugs* Okay sure, not that it really matters or anything.
*They approach Remus, and notice that he is staring at a tan box with a funny looking guy on the front*
James: Remus...er...uh...I think we need to talk.
Remus: *looks at them suspiciously* I suppose you're wondering what I've been doing over here these past weeks.
James: Exactly. Remember you can tell us anything. *turns around and finds Sirius and Peter munching on enchiladas and eyes them*
Remus: May I have one, please?
Peter: Why, certainly. *hands Remus an enchilada*
Sirius: *farts* Whoops...sorry excuse me!
Remus: *grimaces* Thank you.
Peter: No problem. *smiles*
James: Could we get back to the subject? Jeez! I'm trying to be a nice person here!
Remus: I don't know...I'm not sure...if I'm ready...to share...
Sirius: *anxiously* Share what?
Remus: My dream.
James: - Sirius- Peter: What?
James: What are you talking about?
Remus: *confused* That is what you wanted to talk about, correct? *clutches tightly to the box*
James: *nervously*...er...exactly! Shoot.
Remus: I was thinking about becoming a Quaker. *serious look*
Peter: Why?
Remus: I'm not sure myself, even. *melancholy look* One day, I just happened upon this piece of box...and , then, I began to think. Wouldn't it be fun to approach people and say: "Hi. My name is Remus Lupin. I'm a Quaker."
Sirius: *deep in thought* Wow...I'm feeling it...it just kind of...rolls off your tongue.
Peter: It does, doesn't it. Quaker Peter. I like it.
Remus: Except that we would address each other as "Brother." I think it's the rule.
Peter: Brother Peter. I like it. Still. *farts*
Sirius: *laughs and pulls out another enchilada*
James: *confused* That's great and all...but what's the fascination with the box?
Sirius: Well...I don't blame him...that guy is...rather hot.
Remus: No! Brother Sirius! That's not it at all! You see, I was just thinking back here, that's all.
James: About what?
Remus: About how this box needs a new -look-! This guys been on here for ages! I think it's time to let some else have a turn.
Peter: Amen to that! It's just not fair, Brother Remus!
Remus: Exactly! That's why I think that my picture should be on the box. It would be so awesome. *sighs* I would get to wear the hat...and the powdered wig.
James: No offense, Rem --
Peter: -Ahem-
James: Brother Remus, but I don't think anyone's going to want to eat oatmeal with someone as sickly looking as you on the box.
Remus: *looks slightly disappointed* Maybe...you never know.
Sirius: Maybe we should but Peter on there.
James: Sirius! How many times have I told you not to make fat jokes!
Remus: *dreamily* I've always wondered how I would look in a powdered wig.
Sirius: You'd get all the chics, I'd reckon.
Remus: *mutters* Like they'd marry me anyway. (A/N - Aw! I would, Remus! ^_~)
James: What?
Remus: Huh? Oh nothing. But...the next stage is our need for a motto.
Sirius: Good idea. It's time for a change.
Remus: That's a good enough one. We'll blazon "It's Time for a Change" all across the front of our Quaker oatmeal box in bright orange letters.
James: Why orange?
Remus: *shrugs* Well, it's loud enough, anyway.
Sirius: Great! And you know what? We ought to feature all four of us for the pictures instead of just one. That will teach that old freaky goon.
James: Except...
Peter: Yes, Brother James?
James: Except one of us should dress like a Quaker woman...it might look more natural that way...like...uh...a family or something. People like to eat stuff with wholesome, family-oriented pictures on the front.
Sirius: Well, in that case, it shouldn't be you James...you'd scare all the business away.
James: Then I reckon it should be you, Brother Sirius.
Sirius: What? No way in hell!
Remus: That might be a good idea. I'd do it, but I'm not going to give up the opportunity to wear that wig. *tranced* Ooooh! I want to put it on so baaddd!
Sirius: Fine!
Peter: Then we've got it! We'll work on our design tomorrow in History of Magic class.
Remus: Ooooh! You guys are the best friends I've ever had! *starts to cry and gives them a hug* Thank...you for making my dream come true!
Peter: *Curiously* So, Brother Remus, what do Quakers believe in anyway?
*looks up for a minute and wipes his tears*
Remus: *thinks and thinks* I-I don't know. I sort of just fancy the wig.
Sirius: And the way it rolls off your tongue. Can't forget that. "Hi! I'm Brother Sirius Black, and I'm a Quaker.
Remus: No, of course not.
James: *looks at Sirius* Wasn't there something else we were going to talk about?
Sirius: Huh? Yea there was but I can't remember what it is now. I've had too many enchiladas.
James: Ah. Well...I'm sure it will come to me.
THE END