Who's Harry?

Who's Harry?

(Written in first person)

I entered the chamber to view the Mirror of Erised only to see that I was too late. Quirrell was already there. He turned around just as I-------AHH!

Ouch! Man, my head hurts.... I think I hit my head somewhere. Where am I? Who's that strange person with the funny hat standing in front of that mirror?

"Harry," he said, "I was expecting you. Ah, yes. You've been suspecting Snape the entire time. He does seem the type, doesn't he? After all, who would suspect p-poor s-stutt-tering Quirrell?"

"Ummm........." I said, rather confused. Who was this freak anyways? "That's nice. What's with the hat?"

Of course I meant to be polite, but no, he just couldn't handle a simple question.

"This?" he said, growing quite angry, "This, Harry, is the very thing that gave you that scar!"

I looked at him thoughtfully and after a moment of silence said, "What scar?" I seriously doubt that ugly wad of fabric on your head could possibly do anything to me!" Actually, I knew very well what it could do to me: Make me look positively hideous! I mean, where's he sense of style?

"Not the Turban, you fool!" he cried in rage, "The face! The FACE!"

"Well," I said, "We both know that your face isn't exactly an object of beauty.... rather one of disgust, but you don't have to be so negative about it!"

Just then a voice came out from under the turban, "TURN AROUND YOU FOOL!" it shrieked.

"But master," said Quirrell, trembling idiotically, "You're not strong enough!"

"I," said the voice again, "have strength enough for this!" So Quirrell turned around to reveal a face that was...well, somewhat worse to say the least.

"Harry," it said in a raspy voice, "See what you've done to me?"

"Not really," I said, "Do you have a cold? I might recommend plastic surgery..."

"Harry," it said, "I am Lord Voldemort!"

Silence.

"Oh. And he is..."

"Quirrell," he said, "Sit down. This might take a while..." And so Voldemort told Harry his life's story (as far as he knew it at least) and filled Harry in on what they were planning to do. This took a couple hours considering Voldy didn't want to tell him everything.

"So, Harry," he concluded, "Join me and have a really great time killing people, or be noble and die like your parents."

"Isn't there a third option?" I asked.

"No!" he answered.

"Man, that bites...." I said while thinking of my answer, "I choose to remain neutral in my opinions and refuse to answer."

"Huh" said Voldy, "You can't do that..."

"Yes I can." I answered, "I have a right to remain silent."

"So why don't you?" he asked eagerly, "I've had enough of your ceaseless chatter!"

"Then why do you want me as a side-kick?" I asked.

"So I can resurrect myself!" he answered.

"Why would you want to do that?" I asked, "You obviously don't have much to live for! You don't have any friends and your life's work has been demolished!"

"Give me just one reason why I shouldn't kill you now."

"Because you need me, alive I might add, to complete the potion to regenerate your body and obtain the invincibility needed to take over the world."

"Good point..."

"Harry!" said some one from behind the wall of fire, "Harry, I got Dumbledore!"

Harry turned to Voldemort, about to ask yet another question, but Voldy said, "Sorry, Harry, but I gotta run. Ummm... I'm late for a dentist appointment. Bye!" And with that he vanished.

"Dentist appointment," Harry muttered, "He doesn't have any teeth!"

A girl with long curly hair ran into the room. "Harry! I'm so glad you're all right! Dumbledore is right behind me. What happened to your head? You should go to the hospital wing."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Harry, are you feeling alright? I'm Hermione, remember?" she said.

"Yeah, I'm just fine. Have we met?" I said. People are so strange around here. They just walk up to you and start asking questions.

"Um...yeah. It's a long story." she said, "Ron should be arriving any minute."

I was about to ask who he was, but I soon found out. He entered the room.

"Ron," said Hermione, "You're so hot."

Ron looked at her as if he were dreaming, "Y-you really think so?"

"Yeah," said Hermione, "Considering you took the wrong potion. Your hair is on fire."

"That's quite enough of that," said a really old person who also just entered the room and put out the fire, "Come on, Harry. You should see Madam Pomfrey."

"Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?" I asked.

"No." said Dumbledore, "You're supposed to come with me to the hospital wing."

"You have no memory of who you are." said Ron.

"Well, I realized that!" I said as they pushed me out of the trap door.

And so I went to the Hospital wing (rather reluctantly) and took a few pills and now I remember everything. Yeah, my parents, friends, my potions paper which is due... tomorrow. Uh oh...