Hogwarts, A Documentary

Hogwarts, A Documentary

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I´m Hermione Granger and I will be your hostess for this tour." The Muggle camera gave a lurch and fell to the ground.

"Neville!" Hermione shouted.

"Oops! Sorry Hermione!"

"It´s fine," said Hermione with a note of stress in her voice. "I just want this to be perfect. Professor Dumbledore is counting on me to represent the school." She pointed her wand at the fallen camera. "Returno." Neville caught it in his hands as it zoomed back up to him.

"All right. Let´s take it from the top!" a familiar voice announced. Hermione turned around.

It was Ron, wearing stylish shades and a green beret. Harry followed behind him carrying what seemed to be a director´s chair and megaphone.

"Ron? What are you doing here?" Hermione asked with a great deal of surprise.

"I´m the director. Harry just set the chair up over there."

"What?"

"I´m the director," Ron repeated calmly. "Dumbledore said I could be."

"Well, I don´t need a director, thanks. I´m sure I can handle this on my own!"

"What about me?" piped up Neville.

"Dumbledore said-"

"Well I don´t-"

"Hold it!" Harry shouted, dropping the chair. Ron and Hermione stopped their bickering and looked at him. "Hermione, you´re wasting more time by arguing with Ron. You could just let him help out, couldn´t you?"

Hermione sighed. "You´re right, Harry," she said quietly. "Ron, you can... be the director..."

"Yes! Thanks Hermione!"

* * *

"I´m here in Hogwarts Great Hall. This is where students eat meals and, more importantly, become sorted into one of four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. The four original founders-"

"Cut! Uh, Neville that means stop. Okay, bring in the extras!"

"What?" Hermione exclaimed. "Extras?"

Five of their fellow Gryffindors, Fred, George, Ginny, Dean, and Seamus, marched into the hall. Fred was carrying a ratty, old wizard´s hat and George was carrying a three-legged stool.

"Huh? Wait Ron I know where this is going. You can´t-"

"Relax Hermione. It´ll be great. Just to spice it up a bit. To be honest, you talking is not the most exciting thing. Okay guys, you know what to do."

George placed the stool at the front of the hall. Fred placed the wizard hat on it.

"And action!"

Ginny walked up and sat on the stool. The hat was lowered onto her head.

"Hmm... you seem like a brave individual," a voice said. For a moment Hermione thought it was the hat speaking but then she saw Dean Thomas. "You deserve to be in the best house... Gryffindor!"

"Ron! You´re making my documentary biased!" Hermione shouted.

"Shush up, Hermione. We´re still rolling!"

"Humph."

Next, Seamus took his place on the stool.

"Hmm... a hard worker. Extremely loyal... Hufflepuff!" Dean continued.

Now it was George´s turn.

"Wow! What a genius! You´re super smart and a bookworm! Ravenclaw!"

Finally Fred sat on the stool.

"Oh! You´re an evil wizard! There´s only one place for evil wizards like you! Slytherin!"

"No! Not Slytherin! They´re all a bunch of gits! I´ll change, I promise! Please, not Slytherin!" pleaded Fred. His acting gave the impression of one receiving the death sentence.

"Too late. I´ve made up my mind."

"No!!"

"And... cut! Perfect! Great emotion Fred!"

"Ron! I can´t show Professor Dumbledore this!"

"Stop being such a worry-wart Hermione. Dumbledore has a sense of humour."

Hermione sighed. "I sure hope so..."

* * *